Rite of Passage
by Contorce
Summary: After a dangerous struggle for her freedom, Adda explores life beyond the bonds of slavery and is trained by the most powerful mage in Tortall.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Tortall doesn't belong to me, obviously, but to the genius Tamora Pierce. **

**I decided it was time to start writing again, so here is my newest work. It's been about a year since I've written about Tortall and I think I've grown as a writer since, so this should be better than Kiyra and definitely better than the one about Kodi or whatever her name was. I hope you all like it.**

**Also, since there was some confusion when I originally posted this chapter, this fanfic does take place in Tortall. And _yes, _I know slavery is illegal in Tortall. Roll with it. **

I wiped the sweat from my forehead and arched my back. The hot afternoon sun was brutal in the heat of summer and hard labor didn't help. I hefted the ax and resumed chopping down the thick pine. It was a majestic thing, but Lord Amrold wanted this section of the forest cleared by the fall.

"Comin' down!" Rolph bellowed, twenty yards to my side. I watched the tree fall, shivering with delight as it made a satisfactory tremor pass through the ground. Rolph surveyed the tree, then turned to us. "Some help?"

I laid my ax against the tree and headed towards Rolph. "Nice fell!"

Rolph grinned through his coarse beard. He was an intimidating figure of a man, tall and broad, with muscles like chains that I could only envy. However fierce he appeared, I knew him to have a gentle heart.

Karel and I secured the chains around the base of the trunk. As Karel's hands tightened the chains, he turned his excited blue eyes to me and began to whisper. "Gorden ran for the border 'bought five minutes ago. He's off to Corus."

I stared at him, shocked through to my core. "Karel, the dogs! The magic on the border! He's never gonna make it!"

"Shhh!" Karel hushed me, glancing at the overseer. "You don't know that."

Karel left me with the tree and headed back to his work, starting in with a desperate fervency. I shook my head. Karel had always been like my younger brother and I'd had the urge to protect him since I'd been eight and him only six. I didn't like his talk of escape and rebellion. It was bound to get him hurt.

"Ain't that right?" I asked the work horses. One tossed his head restlessly and stomped his feet. I took their lead and urged them on, checking behind me to make sure the fallen tree followed.

As the horses dragged the tree to a newly cleared clearing, I sang softly to myself. The rhythm matched the thud of Lotta's ax. Lotta grinned at me, recognizing her contribution to my song.

It was hard to get the rhythm out from my head. Everything we did had a beat and the blood in my veins seemed to pulse with it. Sometimes the beat was soft and slow, like when I was sleeping. Most of the time, the beat was fierce and powerful. It made work easier and I was used to hearing it.

I hadn't always heard the beat. Back before the chains, I lived in Corus. I don't remember a father and I hardly remember my mother. I spent most of my time in the streets with my older brothers, but I can barely remember them either. I was taken when I was eight and my childhood ended the moment the chains were put on my wrists.

I stumbled into Fief Dunstable chained to a line of poor wretches like myself. I had been there for the eight years since and I grew up there. I was tall of stature and the labor had made me tough and strong. I was almost a woman, in both body and spirit.

"Pick up the pace!" Milo, an overseer, stood over my back and tapped his whip on his thigh. I nodded without meeting his eyes and hurried to take the heavy chain off the tree.

The others talked of freedom. I didn't know the meaning of the word. Lord Amrold and his family were free. They didn't do anything, as far as I could tell. His young son Farren rode his pony around, but I'd never seen him work. I'd barely laid eyes on his wife and the younger children, but I was sure they would never work a day in their life. If freedom meant boredom, I'd rather work.

"Adda." Lotta handed me my ax. "You're dreamin'."

"Aye." I nodded and moved to the other side of the tree that she was working on. We were the only women in our crew and she was much older than me, by at least five years.

"What of?" Lotta asked, over the ringing of the axes. "Some lad caught your eye?"

I shook my head. "It's too hot to think 'bout lads."

"Never." Lotta nodded towards Evrett, who had taken off his shirt. His chest gleamed with sweat.

I shrugged. "He's well enough."

"If he's just well enough, then you've got standards." Lotta's eyes traveled over every inch of the man. "I wonder if he'd take me."

I glanced at her and hesitated mid-chop. "You're no whore."

"'Course not." Lotta took her eyes off Evrett. "But there's no law that says I can't bed him. And when you-" She blushed, something I've rarely seen her do.

I frowned, concentrating on my work. Minutes later, I came to a realization. "You really like him!"

Lotta turned an even deeper shade of pink. "Not much! And keep your voice down."

I turned to look at Evrett, seeing him as I hadn't ever bothered to. He was kind enough, but he didn't speak much. He did have a nice look about him and he wasn't too pretty. He'd treat her well, I could guarantee it. I turned back to Lotta. "Well, I approve."

"Didn't need your approval." Lotta grumbled, though she did look a bit relieved.

I was silent after that. Commoners married early, but there was hardly a purpose for us. We'd do what we liked, since we had no reputations to uphold. Our men didn't care how many others we'd bedded and women were scarce enough in the crews for them to be lucky to have us. I'd never bedded a man before, though I knew Lotta had when she'd been my age. I'd never had a lover, either. It seemed like it would be nice, judging from the way Lotta smiled when she thought about her man of the time.

I don't even know who I'd choose, if I could get a lover. Trom was nearest my age, but he wasn't as nice to look at as some of the others and he was shy besides. The rest were just too_old_. Maybe there was a man for me in one of the other crews. Unfortunately, the crews rarely mixed so I'd never know.

"Line for count!" Milo ordered.

I set my ax against the tree, dread running through me. I hadn't been too particular about Gorden and never got to know him. Still, I'd never had the desire to see any man punished.

Milo counted us, his lips moving silently. He scowled and recounted us. "Which one of you was it?"

I turned around like I'd no idea that one of us was missing. I looked around for Gorden, knowing that he'd be through the forest by now. I hope he made it to the border and by some chance of fate, the magic to keep him in wasn't working.

Milo scowled deeper, working up a temper. Rolph begrudgingly answered. "Must have been Gorden, sir."

"Gorden." Another overseer clenched his fist. "Figures."

Milo nodded to the overseer. "Get the dogs, then."

I tried to hide my shudder and worriedly stared at the ground.

"Bring your tools." Milo ordered us. "We're going in early."

Usually, I'd have been glad for a shorter day. It happened occasionally, but today it meant a manhunt. It meant a public beating and the eventually killing of Gorden, for they would catch him.

I'd never run. It was stupid. Nobody ever got away.

* * *

"Adda." Karel shook my shoulder. "They got Gorden." 

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I sat up on the straw pallet. The shack was sweltering in the summer, not being properly ventilated. The heat was smothering, but I preferred it over the bone-chilling cold. "Oh." I finally answered.

"Come on." Karel grabbed my arm and pulled me up. The tiny shelter was empty except for us. Everyone else had left already.

Stepping outside into the night, the crews mingled as they all walked towards a common destination. I stayed close to Karel and we wove our way to the front of the crowd, where our crew stood. Others grumbled at us, but he was _our_ man, not theirs. We joined our crew and looked up at Gorden.

He stood on a platform, chained to a post. He'd been bitten by the dogs and the crusty blood stuck to his wounds and clothes. He weaved on his feet, exhaustion and pain taking their toll. Lord Amrold and some overseers conversed at the bottom of the platform as soldiers armed with spears stood at the ready, in case the crowd revolted.

An overseer that I didn't recognize climbed to the platform and uncurled his whip. He administered the beating with an expression of boredom. Gorden's body shook as the whip lashed his back, opening the skin in angry red crisscrosses.

Karel set his jaw and bitterly clenched his fists. If he didn't learn to control himself, he would be in Gorden's place in just a couple years.

Gorden finally sagged against his bonds, his body limped. The overseer stopped beating him and checked for a pulse. I hoped he was dead. If he was alive, the torture could go on for hours.

The overseer stepped away from Gorden and left the platform. I guessed he was dead then.

"It ain't fair." Karel hissed, pale with fury. "All he did was try to run. He-"

"Shut your mouth, boy." Josef cut him off swiftly. "You think they'd shy from putting you up there?"

Karel wisely bit his tongue and contented himself with glaring at the dirt under our feet.

"I guess we'll get a new one then." I supposed. Each crew had eighteen men and women in it and we were one down.

"Hope it's another woman." Lejo teased. "Ours are broken."

Lotta smacked him half-heartedly.

The crowd started to disperse. Our crew headed back to our shack. The shack wasn't hardly big enough to fit eighteen men lying side to side, but we packed ourselves in. The ceiling was low, about six feet high. I could walk fine, but Rolph and a couple of the men had to bend over as they walked. Rough pallets covered the dirt floor. The pallets were large enough for two normal-sized people or one Rolph.

Once our crew was all in the shack, the door was bolted and locked. I used the bucket in the corner of the shack, holding my breath at the stink. There was a cover for it, but the stench in the summer was horrible.

I laid down on the pallet next to Lotta. She stared up at the ceiling, her face like stone. I closed my eyes and turned away from her.

* * *

I woke up at the same time I did every morning, about an hour before sunrise. Our crew moved mechanically, putting on our clothes and whispering to each other. We were ready when the door was opened. 

My stomach hurt. Our crew had not been fed last night, since we had let Gorden run. I should be used to it by now, but we ate two meals a day and worked hard. I _needed_ food.

The kitchen crew fed us. Every morning we were served the leftovers of whatever food the nobles had eaten the night before mixed with a sort of tasteless porridge. There were bits of meat sometimes, potatoes, beans, and once I found what resembled a human knuckle. I prayed to the gods for a week after that. Dinner was hardly better, though sometimes we were given bread. The food was served in wooden bowls which were hardly ever washed.

It was something we complained about, but never expected it to change. I wasn't sure if I even wanted it to change. It was just the way it was. I hadn't eaten well before I came here and probably never would, unless I got on kitchen crew.

I quickly finished eating, since we only had a few moments. As I did, Lord Amrold came in with three overseers and his son. I was surprised. I didn't think he woke up before dawn. I was close enough to hear the low tones that they conversed in.

Lord Amrold spoke to his son. "If you still want to go to Corus at the end of the summer, then you shall. Just give this a try."

His son nodded and yawned sleepily. Lord Amrold smiled fondly down at the boy, his hand lovingly clasping the boy's shoulder. So the lion_could_ purr. I watched curiously.

Lord Amrold turned to his overseers. "Keep an eye on him."

As he turned to go, his son caught his arm. "Thank you, Father."

Lord Amrold ruffled his hair as he left.

Milo stood from the table and banged his hand on the table for our attention. "Lord Farren will be out with us for the next couple weeks. If any of you give him trouble, I'll lay you on the post and beat you half to death."

After last night's display of violence, I certainly wouldn't cause any trouble for weeks. I had no desire to be made an example of. I worked quietly, chopping wood without pausing for any rests.

About noon, Lord Farren approached me uncertainly. He had stayed mostly out of our way, observing the overseers and how they dealt with us. He carried a bundle of papers under his arm, supervising his workers. He looked more like a little boy playacting. "Come with me." He ordered me imperiously.

I set my ax down and followed him, watching Milo out of the corner of my eye, hoping I wasn't doing something wrong. Milo didn't seem to care so I continued to follow Lord Farren.

The towheaded boy laid the papers down on a flat stump, spreading them out. "This is what I need to build."

He seemed to want me to look at it, so I peered over his shoulder. The lines on the paper represented some sort of wooden tower.

"It's a watchtower." Lord Farren explained. "We're going to build it."

Suddenly, I understood. He needed my advice, but couldn't ask it of me because I was beneath him and his pride would suffer. He chose me because I was the youngest, except for Karel, but he had been rather surly as of late and even I would hesitate to ask for his help.

Staring at the ground, hoping he wouldn't hit me with that stupid little whip of his, I made a suggestion. "Where will you build it?"

Lord Farren frowned. "I haven't decided yet. Where would_ you_ build it?"

I thought for a moment. "The pasture up the road, your lordship. It's level enough and would have a good view of the north border."

"Precisely." Lord Farren nodded. "These trees need to go up there."

"Have the mage do it, sir." I suggested, hiding a smirk. When he scowled at me, I hastily cleared my throat. "Or we could chop them into the sizes you need for the tower and have the horses drag them up the road."

"Do that then." Lord Farren ordered. When I didn't jump immediately, his scowl deepened. "What is it?"

"I need the sizes, sir." I tried to look humble.

"Right." Lord Farren drew a quill from amidst the parchment.

"Can't read." I told him, before he wrote the numbers down for nothing.

"You can't _read?_" He gawked at me. I stared levelly back at him until he looked at the ground. "Can you remember them if I tell you?"

"If you have some cord," I suggested. "Cut it to the length you want it."

As Lord Farren cut the cord to the right measurement, I studied him. He was a right little noble brat. His fine hose and velvet tunic were perfectly cut and tailored to him. Every inch of him was scrubbed spotless and his hair looked light and fluffy.

I wore the rough cut breeches and loose tunic that all of us wore. If they were ever washed, they'd probably fall to pieces. My boots were worn and on the verge of falling apart. I needed to bathe and I stunk. No wonder young Lord Farren treated me like I was beneath him. I was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews, I really love getting them. I worked on this chapter all weekend, so I hope you like it. Disclaimer: I don't own Tortall.**

CHAPTER 2

"Lift it!" Young Lord Farren ordered excitedly. "Pull!"

I groaned as I heaved down on the rope, wincing as my palms burned. We lifted the thick log into the air and Rolph and Josef secured it once it was on top of the stack of logs.

"It's getting tall now." Lord Farren grinned, looking up at the watchtower. Little noble brat hadn't even worked up a sweat._ I _was sweating like a pig.

"Building the walls of our cage." Lejo muttered dejectedly.

"More like a plaything for a child." Henri shot back, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Or it's just a watchtower." I pointed out.

Lord Farren began to walk towards us and we stopped talking, trying to look busy. "Cut more of the logs so we can add them to the top. We ran out."

"Yes, your lordship." Karel answered back, deceptively meek. "But sir, do we get a rest? Because, your lordship sir, those of us who are lifting heavy objects get tired. Or maybe we could switch places, sir. I'd like to try my hand at-"

"Shut up, boy." Milo raised the back of his hand at Karel, who grumbled but fell silent.

Lord Farren flushed. "Take your rest then. I'll expect the tower to be five feet higher before you sleep tonight."

He stalked away to nurse his wounded pride and we sat on the ground to rest our sore limbs.

"I can't wait until he goes to Corus." I moaned, lying down on the ground.

"If he goes to Corus." Karel pointed out. "If he doesn't love ordering us about too much."

"Aw, Corus." Josef leaned against the wall of the watchtower, casually checking to see if the overseers were in hearing distance. "I might make Corus afore he does."

"What do you mean?" Karel leaned forward eagerly.

"I have a plan." Josef whispered. "A truly brilliant-"

"Stop." Evrett ordered, eyes flashing furiously. However angry he was, his lips barely moved. "Not here, not with all of us involved."

Josef met Evrett's steely eyes and nodded silently.

Josef wouldn't have brought up his plan if he hadn't needed our help with it. Any secret is better kept if only one knows of it. At least he had thought his plan through. Spontaneous acts of rebellion, like Gorden's, were idiocy. Josef was smart enough. If it involved many people, most likely it was complex.

I had an escape plan as well. I'd been thinking it through for years, ironing out the complications. Of course, some factors had to be changed, especially when key elements of the plan got themselves killed. My plan was never meant to be carried out. It was too dangerous, too risky, and I would never share it with anyone. It was just a game to pass the time.

Karel laid down on the ground next to me, his mouth close to my ear. "Are you?"

I shook my head slightly.

"Please?" Karel begged. "If we die, it'll still be jolly fun."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I want to be free." Karel told me flatly, rolling away from me.

"Keep whispering those sweet nothings, boy." Josef drawled. "You won't change her mind. She's in his lordship's pocket."

My head snapped up and I flushed with anger as I stared at Josef in disbelief.

"Aye." Lejo added fuel to the fire. "She's happy 'nough here. Without his lordship, she'd be lost in the world."

I realized what they were trying to do and rested back on the ground. I didn't need to prove myself to them.

"Alright, back to work." Lord Farren ordered us, coming from where the overseers were eating their noon meal.

We all got up without a word. I'd be thinking about this conversation for the rest of the day.

* * *

I woke up, disorientated for a moment. Someone crawled over me and I heard a low murmur of voices in the corner.

I was curious to know Josef's plan. All I had to do was listen. It didn't mean that I would have to go through with it. All I would do was listen.

I got up and padded softly to the circle of men in the corner. I sat quietly, getting a satisfied glance from Josef. He continued whispering. "Nobody's ever thought of digging before. We dig under the magical barrier."

"They'll notice." Lejo argued. "If not the tunnel, then the dirt."

"Where will the tunnel start?" Karel questioned.

"Underneath our shack." Josef answered.

"Where will we get the tools?" Saul asked.

"We'll have to make our own." Josef said. "It sounds harder than it is."

"Then we just crawl to freedom?" Lejo snorted. "This was your plan?"

"Why not from the watchtower to the border?" I suggested. "Isn't too far from there and we'll be able to hide the dirt."

Josef nodded. "The lass is right. Only a few of us will have to leave through the tunnel. Those who do will find somebody to help."

"Who?" I asked. "Who would help us?"

"Might be news to you, girl," Lejo sighed in exasperation. "But slavery is illegal."

"So? If anyone had cared, they would have come afore now." I pointed out.

"It's a well kept secret." Vince told me. He had been brought to the fief just before the summer and had the latest news. "Nobody gets out here much."

"Who's with me, then?" Josef asked impatiently.

"I am." Karel responded instantly.

Saul shrugged. "Count me in."

"Aye, me as well." Lejo agreed. Vince and Trom nodded their consent to the plan.

I thought for a moment as they waited for my answer. "I guess so. I mean, why not? If someone will help us, we should try."

"I'm surprised." Lejo raised his eyebrows.

"Why?" I wondered.

"I figured you'd be too scared." Lejo shrugged.

"I'm not afraid." I was quick to answer. "Well, I'm afraid of the dogs. I didn't think we had a real chance. I still don't, not really. But if all of you think we can, _maybe_ we can. Maybe. And if we don't, we'll just cut our sentence short. I thought we had a real life here, but what do I know? I hardly remember a world outside of here. If you say this isn't living, then it probably isn't. It's not like we've got a real life here anyway. Besides-"

"Somebody shut her up." Karel moaned. I blinked at him and he rolled his eyes. "You're babbling."

I sighed. "So that's it. I'm in."

"We'll have to take a blood oath." Josef decided. "Nobody can know about this."

Lejo produced a small knife from the folds of his tunic and grinned wickedly as he placed it in the middle of the table.

"I swear to the Gods that I will never sabotage our plan or do anything to endanger it." Josef cut his wrist and let the blood drip from it. He passed the knife to Lejo.

"So swear I." Lejo cut his own wrist and let the blood drip onto Josef's bloody wrist.

"So swear I." We all repeated the words and mixed our blood, knowing that we could never break the oath.

Josef clapped Lejo on the shoulder. "We'll start tomorrow and have the tunnel dug by the end of fall. We'll be free by midwinter."

* * *

Lord Farren was manipulable, I decided. For all his silk and velvet, he was just a boy and seemed to believe that he was smarter than us. I could use that to my advantage.

I put my saw down and made a show of thinking hard. Lord Farren saw me and headed over, acting as if he didn't care what I was thinking about. "Shouldn't you be working?"

"Well, yes, sir." I answered slowly, frowning. "But soon we won't be able to lift the logs just by the pulleys. Your watchtower is getting too tall."

Lord Farren mirrored my frown and I could see that he had given this some thought. "And?"

"I know you've already thought of this, but I can see no other way." I buttered his pride, making him think that I knew he was better than me. "We'll have to build the inside as we're building the walls up."

The boy nodded. "That was what I was thinking. Make it happen."

"I'll need some crew." I lowered my hand, the very likeness of servitude. "Those that are good at carpentry. If you please, sir, Josef, Lejo and Saul are fair enough at woodworking."

Rolph looked up in something akin to alarm and suspicion when he heard that neither him nor Henri was mentioned. Both were the best carpenters in our crew. I tried not to look at him as I spoke to the boy.

"You should supervise us, sir." I suggested. "So we don't make any mistakes."

"Alright." Lord Farren agreed. "Milo, I'm taking four of them up to the watchtower. You and Burt can watch the others."

I got Josef, Lejo, and Saul and they followed me without a word. So far, our plan was working well.

At first we began work on the inside, like I had said. Josef had some knowledge of woodworking and Lejo and Saul were quick-learners.

The base of the watchtower was eighteen feet in diameter. We would build a circular staircase around the wall have platforms in the center at intervals of about seven feet. We began to split boards and plan how to work the design. We could only use Lord Farren's childish designs to a certain extent.

Lord Farren was a study to me, for a ten year old boy. Sometimes he seemed so pompous and self-righteous, but at other times he could be shy and sensitive. I suppose he was struggling with a moral battle. His father was not a role model for a young boy to follow, but yet he was Lord Farren's idol. Then again, the boy made references to the tales of the Lioness, the Giantkiller, and other defenders of chivalry. He obviously idolized those heroes as well.

Josef nodded to me, indicating that I needed to distract Lord Farren. I sauntered over to the boy, who was watching us work with almost a wistful expression. "Can I take a look at those plans again, sir?"

"Of course." Lord Farren handed me the plans. "This is fun, but I'm still going to go to the palace."

I looked up at him in shock. Was he making conversation with me? "That so, sir?"

"I want to be a knight." Lord Farren told me.

"Good luck." Distracting him was going to be easier if he was going to do all the distracting for me.

Lord Farren looked at me suspiciously, looking for a sign that I was making fun of him. He found none and continued to talk. "The Lioness is the best knight. That's what my mama tells me. Papa says that she is shameless and a joke. He says that Lady Keladry was the same. What do you think?"

"I don't know, sir." I answered honestly. "I don't know either of them. Seems to me, that if men can do it, women can."

"Women aren't as strong as men though." Lord Farren argued.

"True." I thought of Rolph. I'd never want to face him in a dark alleyway, or a dark _anywhere._ "But I'm stronger than Karel."

"Who?" Lord Farren asked.

"He's the youngest in our crew, Scanren, blond hair." I described my friend.

"Well," Lord Farren spoke as if I was an idiot. "He's younger."

"Not like you'd have known. He's as tall as I am. He should be as stronger."

"No, it doesn't work like that." Lord Farren shook his head. "If you weren't a slave, you'd know."

I snorted. "Most likely."

"How old are you?" Lord Farren asked. He sat on the dusty ground in the shade the tower. I knelt next to him, resting my legs.

"Sixteen." I answered.

"Well, I'm eleven." Lord Farren raised his chin proudly.

"I thought you had to be ten to be a knight." I raised my eyebrows at him.

Lord Farren flushed. "I'm a year older. Father wants me to stay and work here, like him. He says their majesties are deranged. He doesn't want me to serve a falling country, so he kept me back an extra year so I could change my mind."

"But you didn't." I pointed out.

"No." He shook his head. "It's what I want to do. When you really want to do something, you just can't get it out of your head."

"I wouldn't know." I drawled.

He looked at the ground abashedly. "It's not like you could, anyways."

I looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

Lord Farren turned pink. "Well, you're a slave. There must be something wrong with you or you wouldn't be a slave."

"What's wrong with me?" I asked curiously.

He looked at a loss for words and his mouth hung open for a second. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"

"I asked for the plans and you started talking about the Lioness." I raised my hands. "I still need the plans."

"Oh." Lord Farren handed me the papers and I spread them on the ground. I pretended to be looking at something and studied it intently.

"We've done all we can do, sir." Lejo emerged from the watchtower door. "We need more boards."

"Go back down there and cut them then." Lord Farren ordered.

We started to head down to the clearing, but he caught my arm.

"I'm sorry I don't know what's wrong with you." Lord Farren looked ashamed.

I shrugged and turned to leave. "It's not your fault."

As I walked, I stared down at the iron bands around my wrists. They'd been there since I was eight and I hadn't even noticed them for years. Noticing them now, now that they were a part of me, was stupid.

**I'm grateful to get any kind of feedback, positive or negative. I hope it's positive, though. It's always so much better to get nice comments than otherwise. **


	3. Chapter 3

**1. As Syril Silverleaf brought to my attention, nobles are only called "sir" after they are knighted. Farren has become the young Lord. **

**2. This takes place in Tortall, in a small fief that isn't brought to royal attention often, which is why Lord Amrold can get away with keeping slaves.**

**3. I hope that I have captured Adda's indecisiveness to participate in the escape plan. She really is wishy-washy. **

**CHAPTER 3**

I hadn't seen the tunnel yet, although the men had been working on it for weeks. I wasn't eager to be disappointed and I was convinced that the tunnel would be a disappointment. Also, a very large and sensible part of me wished that I had never agreed to help them escape. I had taken the oath though, and I wouldn't go back on my word, even if the threat of death by the gods didn't loom over my head.

As for now, my contribution to the plan consisted of distracting young Lord Farren and pooling ideas with the men after the rest of our crew had fallen asleep.

Lotta and Evrett fascinated me. I watched them as they flirted back and forth, observing every slight action or facial expression.

"You've got to leave off." Lotta advised me, only half-joking. "You watching us, it's creepy."

I blushed. "I don't mean it so. I just...I'm curious."

"Well, practice your feelings on Trom then." Lotta flipped her hair. "Stop watching us."

I was more careful after that, because I couldn't say out loud the words I had wanted to say. I had never seen love, not the kind between a man and a woman. I had seen true friendship and brotherhood, but never love. And I wanted to see what it was like, since rotten chances were _I'd_ never experience it myself.

If it was the soft touch of Evrett's hand as he brushed back Lotta's curl, then I'd seen love. If love was in Lotta's soft laugh as he tickled her neck with a feather, then I'd heard it. I hadn't watched them make love together, because I had no desire to see that kind of loving, but I knew that they did. Evrett respected her after, not just treating her as something he could have when he wanted and ignore when he was tired of her.

I hoped they loved each other, because when I thought about it I was filled with happiness and my soul seemed to swell with peace and calm.

And if he hurt her, I'd kill him.

The slaves were getting restless, not just those in our crew. There were about eighteen slaves in each crew and about six crews. The fifty soldiers that served Lord Amrold could hold back a rebellion by themselves, but some wouldn't pay any attention to the odds. It was the mage that settled their minds.

I'd only seen him at a distance, except for when he put my wrist bands on. Rolph told me that I'd had the Gift. The men who kidnapped me wouldn't have taken me if they'd known, because of the extra trouble I might cause. They didn't know until the mage caught a whiff of me. By then it was too late to let me go, since I'd seen the fief and knew what was happening. The mage put the bands on me to trap my Gift. I hadn't even known that I'd had the Gift, so I couldn't miss it.

If it wasn't for the mage, the slaves would have rebelled soon after they arrived. The mage was terrifying. I'd heard stories about things he'd done, slaves he'd tortured. There was no doubt that the mage was cruel, regardless of whether most of the stories were true or not.

The first month I was working on the fief, I'd seen him slowly burn a man alive and laugh as he did so. Two years ago, he'd cut off a woman's fingers for stealing food for her child. The fingers never healed right and she'd died of infection. The only thing that scared me more than the dogs was the mage.

"What are you thinkin' 'bout?" Karel helped me carry a log over to a pile.

I shrugged.

"What I'm thinkin' of," My younger friend hardly waited for my answer. "Is that girl in the crew with the shack next to ours."

I winced.

"Oh, come on." Karel elbowed me. "Help me out."

"What do you want me to do?" I asked.

"Talk to her for me." Karel begged. "Please."

"You'll have to talk to her sometime." I pointed out. His blue eyes stared at me pathetically and his shoulders slumped. I growled and turned away from him. "Fine. Next time I get a chance, I will. But you should know, I think she's too old for you."

Karel grinned. "I like older women."

"Just don't tell her how old _you_are, puppy." I left him with the log and wiped my hands on my breeches.

Rolph was sawing through a thick log. I joined him, grabbing a saw. He looked up at me. "You stayin' out of trouble?"

I rolled my eyes.

"No respect." Rolph grumbled.

"Sorry." I answered. "Yah, I'm keepin' straight out of trouble."

"And why don't I believe you?" Rolph shook his head. "Listen, it's better to keep your head down than stick it out, even if you think you're bein' cursed brave. Courage is a foolish thing when it gets you killed."

"I know." I reassured him. "I don't aim-"

"Hangin' with the wrong bunch can get you into trouble." He advised me, ignoring my attempt to appease him. "You're old enough to see that. Get yourself out of the trouble while you still can."

It sounded too much like a prophecy for my liking, though Rolph was no seer, just wise. "Can't." I told him honestly. "I'm in deep."

Rolph nodded, quietly accepting my answer. "Watch yourself, then. Keep your wits about you."

"Will do." I stopped sawing and looked him in the eye. "Thanks."

"You're a good girl." Rolph answered gruffly. "I had a daughter of my own, once."

Touched and intrigued, I stared at him. "You did?"

"Sweet little thing. She'd be a bit older than you." Rolph's eyes grew dim as he reminisced. I didn't ask, but Rolph saw the question in my eyes. "Nothing happened to her, not to my knowledge. I got taken."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Not your fault." Rolph resumed sawing.

I was quiet until mealtime and I stood in line waiting for my food.

"Come with me." Young Lord Farren ordered, tugging my sleeve.

I reluctantly followed him, my stomach growling. He led me to another room, a room with only his father and a nobleman that I didn't recognize.

"What did you want her for?" Lord Farren looked up at his father curiously.

"Your mother is awake and wants to see you." Lord Amrold told the boy. His son's eyes lit up and he rushed from the room, a skip in his step.

Truly Lord Farren could not be that naïve.

"Yes, milord?" I answered, edging towards the door.

"Come here a moment." Lord Amrold gestured me over. The other nobleman had strange look in his eyes. I frowned cautiously. "_Now,_ girl!"

I walked to him quickly, stopping an arm's length away. I stared down at the floor, not willing to meet his eyes.

"My son was right." Lord Amrold's eyes traveled over me, making me feel awkward and exposed. "She's beautiful."

"She'll do." The nobleman's voice was husky as he reached for me.

I looked up sharply, every bone in my body telling me to get away _now_but I couldn't move.

The nobleman reached to stroke my cheek and I stepped back, feeling as if I was dancing some strange and horrific dance. It was his move.

He quickly grasped my arm, jerking me close to him. His face darkened as he stared at me. I realized that we were eye to eye seconds before he brought his mouth upon mine. I struggled to push him away, but he pressed me against the wall and fear rendered me powerless.

* * *

I rejoined my crew in less than ten minutes after I had left them. The lord had walked away after having his way with me, leaving me on the cold stone floor like a piece of trash. I felt so calm inside. I thought I should feel angry or upset.

I got the food that Lotta had saved for me and dug in, hungrily swallowing each bit without chewing. The food did nothing to dissolve the lump in my throat.

"I'm fine." I answered shortly. Lotta looked at me worriedly and I gave her a weak smile. If anything, my smile only worried her more.

I tried not to think about what had just happened. If I denied it, ignored it, then maybe I could hold off feeling for a while.

The soup was better than usual, less meat but more potatoes. The bread was crusty and I dipped it in the broth, swirling it in spirals. I concentrated on the sound of boots on the dry ground as we walked to our shack. The sound of the bolt locking us in was comforting.

I curled up on my side and pulled my knees to my chest. I buried my face in my knees and breathed in the smell of sweat, dirt, and something I haven't smelled before.

"Give it to me!" Karel lunged after Evrett, who teasingly held a flower between his fingers.

"Some token from a lover?" Evrett teased.

"Wouldn't laugh so!" Karel hissed. "You spend all day getting nothing but tokens from _your _lover!"

Evrett just laughed it off, waving the flower around.

I couldn't take the conflict though it was just a brotherly squabble. To my shame, I burst into tears. Evrett and Karel stared at me in horror.

Lotta was by my side in an instant, having sensed that something happened.

"Get away!" Lotta hissed at the men, scaring them into the far corner of our shack. The older men hurriedly busied themselves, turning away from us as if we didn't exist, but Trom and Karel still stared. I hated their eyes on me.

"I'm okay." I sobbed, burying my face in Lotta's shoulder. "I'm okay."

"Shhhh." Lotta soothed me, wrapping her arms around me. "It'll go away."

It took me an hour to calm down and by that time all the others were asleep. I lifted my head from her shoulder. "You too?" I asked.

"It's a rite of passage. If you haven't been forced yet, then you ain't a woman." Lotta rubbed my shoulder.

"Who?" I asked. "Amrold?"

"No." Lotta shook her head. "Another slave. All men can use women that way, not just nobles."

"I hate them." I whispered furiously.

"No, no." Lotta hugged me tighter. "Not all men are like it. Evrett isn't like that, or Trom, or Karel. Rolph wouldn't ever touch a women, neither."

"Well, I hate the bastard then." I muttered, wiping my eyes and nose with my sleeve. "Thanks."

Lotta helped me lay down and pulled a blanket around me. "Try and sleep."

"It isn't fair." I mumbled. "He could've picked you. Just chances it was me. And you with Evrett also."

"It's just the way things are." Lotta stroked my hair away from my cheeks. She laid down next to me and brought her arms around me. "Hush."

* * *

Life went on, as I had expected it to. Summer turned to fall and the repetitive schedule of my days kept me focused. The work allowed me to throw myself into something. Lotta was as protective of me as a mother bear at first, but thankfully, she let up after a few days. 

The pain did fade some. I wished I could forget about the whole thing, but that wasn't likely to happen. I settled with thinking about it as seldom as possible.

About the time the cold started to bite, I came to peace with my abuse. My kidnapping had been unfortunate at the time, to my young and scared self. Now, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'd been changed and I liked who I'd become. If I had stayed in Corus, I wouldn't be the same person.

This was the same. It would turn me on a different path. I just had to make sure that I liked who I would become.

"Come and see it." Karel whispered in my ear. I flinched away from his touch, a bad habit that I couldn't seem to lose. He didn't even notice, but continued talking. "It's jolly."

I gave in. "Distract the young lord then."

I entered the watchtower which, despite our ulterior motives, had risen up to be a fine structure. The winding staircase almost reached the top of the wall and it was almost ready for a roof. Young Lord Farren strutted around like a rooster, but he had done well and should be proud.

They had put the wooden floor on over the ground, but had hidden a hatch door in it. You could barely see the door even when you were a foot away and the handle was a knothole. They were careful to scuff dirt up over it after they set it down. I had to admit, it was excellent work.

Vince pulled it up for me and bowed mockingly. I lowered myself into the hole, shivering slightly at the sudden darkness. Karel slid in behind me.

"This way." He whispered, crawling through the dark. I followed him by sound, since I couldn't see a thing and he seemed to know the way.

"How far?" I asked, my voice hoarse with tension.

"Not far. We need to dig for another mile until we reach the border."

I began to feel claustrophobic and the walls seemed to come towards me. "What if it collapses?"

Karel shrugged. "Then we're dead."

"This is a complete joke." I pointed out. "You've dug what, a hundred feet? Oh, only another mile to go."

Karel stiffened angrily. "We can do it."

"Not before the winter. It'll be sometime next summer." I argued.

"Well, us men have already postponed the escape." Karel sat on the ground, having reached the end of the tunnel. "We're here."

"Let's go back." I turned around, afraid of being buried alive.

Karel muttered something under his breath, but followed me back out. When we had reached the entrance, he stopped me. "The knothole is uncovered. If it's dark, the coast isn't clear."

He knocked twice on the door and it was pulled open. We were hurriedly dragged out, dusted off, and the door was replaced. They were quite professional about it.

It wasn't the perfect plan. It wasn't safe and it wasn't probable, but it was possible. It was the closest anyone had ever gotten to escaping, and for the first time, I was proud of being a part of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Well, this chapter is short but the other stuff I was adding really didn't fit. The next chapter will be very long and have a lot of good action. Anyways, enjoy.**

**CHAPTER 4**

I stood and watched the small pony come towards me. I leaned against the watchtower, a little surprised. The boy hadn't come to overseer us for the past few days and I had assumed he'd left for Corus.

Young Lord Farren swung off his pony when he was near me. "I'm leaving."

I nodded.

He stared down at the reins, fidgeting with them. "Father had an agreement with Lord haMinch, that I could go a bit late. To spend more time with my mama. But I'm leaving now."

I reached over and put my hand on his shoulder. He looked as if he needed some comfort. If anything, it made him more upset.

He looked up at me, eyes filled with pain. "I know what you're thinking!" Lord Farren looked down guiltily. "But I can't tell! He's my father and I love him. I don't want him to get in trouble."

I knelt down to his level as he started to cry. "Wait, slow down. What are you talking about?"

"Slavery's not right." Lord Farren sniffled. "There's nothing wrong with you, any of you. I know it, but I can't tell the king."

"I hadn't thought you would." I answered honestly. "He is your father."

"My mama's sick." Lord Farren began to cry again. "She's going to die."

I had never seen his mother, assuming that she stayed in her stone castle by choice. She must have been a good woman, if she could raise a son like Lord Farren despite his father's influence.

"It isn't fair." He took a deep breath, calming himself. "But that doesn't matter. I've still got to go, so I can take care of my sisters and brother when I'm a knight."

"You'll do alright." I said, unsure of what else to say. I stood up, my hand still on his shoulder.

"I hope so." He nodded, then suddenly threw his arms around me. Before I could react, he let go. His face was red with embarrassment. "Bye, Addy."

He mounted his pony and fled.

"My mama! She's gonna die!" Karel's mocking voice came from inside the watchtower.

I went inside the tower, angry at him for ruining the moment. "Shut up, trollop." I punched his arm.

He socked me back, trying to put me in a headlock. I wriggled out and kicked his leg. He winced and tackled me, wrestling me to the ground.

Josef pulled him off of me, grabbing his neck and roughly pressing him to the watchtower wall, like a bad puppy. "Never hit a woman, boy."

"She's not a woman." Karel muttered, face pressed up against the wall. "She's just Adda and she started it."

I got off from the ground, brushing off my dusty clothes. "And I could have finished it."

"Naw." Karel grinned at me and Josef let him go. "Try me again and we'll see."

"There'll be no more fighting." Josef ordered. "We've got work to do. Adda, go keep watch upstairs."

I grumbled. "Seems all you think I'm good for is watch." I used the staircase until I ended about halfway up the tower. I climbed the rest of the way, since the men had put pegs in the wall for that purpose.

I sat on a rafter and looked out over the surrounding countryside. Josef and Lejo had decided that the roof to the tower would not added until the tunnel was completely dug out. A watchman could look between the gaps of the frame of the roof and be aware of anyone approaching the tower.

I could see the rest of my crew, forty feet down, chopping trees and sawing up logs. The two overseers, Milo and another one, stood between the tower and the forest. I watched Farren on his pony head up the path to the stone castle. He passed three men who were headed in the direction of the lumber camp in the forest.

I called down to Josef at the base of the tower. "Three headed towards the rest of our crew!"

Josef waved up at me so I would know that he had heard.

I kept a firm watch on the them and leaned against a beam. Keeping watch was more relaxing than digging in the tunnel and I'd rather be up in the sky than under the ground, surrounded by dark and musty earth.

Trom climbed up the pegs, sat on a beam near me, and pulled up a rope with supplies tied to the end. "I figured I'd put in the floor so you'd have somethin' to sit on."

I shrugged. "I'm fine on the beam."

"Well, for when I keep watch then." Trom secured the bundle of supplies and began to pull out thin logs. These would be laid across the beams so that the boards could in turn be nailed onto them. He started to tie the thin logs down.

I helped hold the rope for him. "Lord Farren will be pleased to see his tower finished."

Trom nodded his agreement and silently tied the rope. Finally, his face serious with concentration, he looked up at me. "I thought it was real nice what you said to the young lord."

I looked back at him, confused. "I didn't say anything."

"No, not really." Trom agreed. "But you were kind to him."

"He was crying." I said. "And he's hurting."

"He's also your master." Trom pointed out, staring down at the work in his hands.

"He's still a boy." I held a long nail for Trom, hoping that he wouldn't bring the hammer down on my fingers.

Trom didn't answer and I looked out of the tower as I held the nails for him.

"Adda!" Josef called up to me. "Come down!"

I handed the nail to Trom and hurriedly clambered down the pegs. I took the stairs two at a time.

"Slow down, girl." Lejo grinned.

"We've got a new man." Josef informed me. "Check him out."

I obediently hefted an ax over my shoulder and headed towards the forest.

Milo scowled at me. "Get to work."

I picked a tree close enough to the new man. He looked to be about Evrett's age or a bit older. He was scared and chopped at the wood fiercely.

"Which crew did you get moved from?" I asked.

He glared as he answered me. "Forestry on the other side of the fief."

I knew which crew he meant. "Oh. Why?"

"None of your business." He answered, then flinched a little at his own rudeness. "Sorry, I'd rather not tell."

I shrugged. "Fair enough. Welcome to our crew, anyhow."

"Listen," The new man whispered, continuing his work as if he was not speaking to anyone. "There's rumors spreading, about this crew. Maybe, there might be something going on?"

I looked him in the eye, putting a curious look on my face. I knew that I would have to play my part perfectly or the game would be up. He might be sympathetic to our cause or he might be a rat. "I've heard the rumors as well. If you find out what's going on, be sure to tell me. I'd like a hand in whatever gets skimmed off the top."

He laughed at me. "That was a nice fake. I don't buy it."

I stared at him blankly. "I'm not fakin'."

He shook his head as he laughed. "I'm Mathias. I'd shake hands, but your overseer would beat me."

"His name's Milo." I told him, looking over my shoulder at the overseer. "He's not mean, not really."

Mathias snorted. "And you? Do you have a name?"

"Adda." I answered.

"Keep me updated, Adda." Mathias winked at me.

Usually I was a good judge of character and I couldn't help but like Mathias. However, I pushed my instinct aside. I knew that the escape plan was delicate enough to be overturned by any kind of threat. Mathias, with his questions and charm, was more than a small threat. Besides, it was not my nature to trust those who hadn't already proved themselves to me.

I really needed to talk to Josef and Lejo.

**I know that no characters from the books have been introduced yet...Actually, that isn't quite true. I wonder if any of you can guess who has made an appearance. **

**Adda won't be on the fief forever, so she will meet more of the characters when she leaves. Is there anybody that you really want to see later on?**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate the feedback. :) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Tamora Pierce owns Tortall and the characters she wrote about. _I_ own Adda, I think.**

**CHAPTER 5**

Winter was _cold_, I decided. My thin clothes did not ward off the chill or the wind. I stopped shivering in late November and stayed numb until March, when I began to thaw out.

Working was the only way to keep from freezing completely.

"Happy midwinter, Addy." Lotta fell into step beside me. We had been brought in from work early, at the first signs of dusk. "Just think, the fires are being lit at this very moment."

"Let's burn Karel." I suggested jokingly. He scowled deeply at me. The winter didn't do much to improve his mood.

"Do I get a midwinter kiss?" Evrett put his arm around Lotta and pulled her to him. She smiled up at him as he kissed her nose.

I looked away to give them privacy and kicked a rock with the toe of my worn boot ahead of me as I walked.

"Do_I_get a kiss?" Mathias grinned at me. I raised my eyebrows at him and did not grace him with an answer.

"If the girl's gonna be kissin' anyone," Rolph warned. "It'll be someone near her own age, not a man almost twice of hers."

"Make me feel old." Mathias complained.

"He was just teasin'." I told Rolph.

"He shouldn't be teasing you." Rolph growled. "You're just a girl."

"There's some that would disagree." Mathias commented, nodding towards Trom.

"_Trom?_" I laughed. "He doesn't like me, not that way."

Rolph and Mathias exchanged a look that I didn't understand.

"Sing a song for us, then." Rolph laid his hand on my shoulder. "The one about the midwinter ivy."

I complied, letting my voice soar above the gathering of slaves. A few others that I didn't recognize sought me out and joined in my song.

"Adda, over here!" Karel waved me over to a bonfire. Near the shacks, four massive fires had been lit to celebrate midwinter. All the slaves crowded around them, mingling with other crews.

I held my hands up to the fire to warm them as I sang. The warmth spread to my arms although I had to edge away when my wrist bands began to grow too hot.

"Give us another, girl!" A woman called to me.

"The Ballad of the Shang Dragon." A man suggested.

I began the ballad, weaving my voice around those that sang with me. Lotta and Evrett come to sit beside me, holding hands. The few slave children came to listen at my feet, humming along in their sweet voices.

Pretty soon, someone had brought a drum and had begun to pound out a beat. Our voices began to pick up the pace and our songs became wild and filled with excitement. Those who could dance did so, their shadows flashed across the fire.

I sang until my voice grew hoarse, then slumped to the ground beside Lotta. Evrett had gone with some of the men to gather more wood for the fires. Lotta sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, looking peacefully and happy. She looked at me when I sat.

"It's nice to see you smile." Lotta commented.

Unconsciously, I reached up to feel my face. "I smile all the time."

Lotta shook her head. "You don't."

I shrugged and watched the shadows flicker across her face.

She turned to me, a hint of a smile on her lips. "You're staring."

I nodded. "You smile all the time."

Unable to stop the smile spreading across her face, Lotta couldn't help but to agree.

"Well," I frowned. "Why don't I?"

Her brow furrowed. "We're different people, Addy."

"I know _that."_ I scoffed, then dropping my voice to a quieter tone. "You smiled before you had Evrett, so it can't be that. We've got the same things, which is near to nothing. I'm not complaining, because it isn't that bad at all. I'm really not complaining."

"You never complain." Lotta reassured me. "Keep talking."

"Well, I wish I smiled more." I blushed a little. I usually didn't talk like this. "You're happier."

"Then smile more." She suggested. "Even if you're angry, smile. You'll start to feel happy, even if you were furious just minutes before."

I tried to smile and she giggled at my attempt. "Or, in your case, just let it come natural. You look like a dying fish." I grinned at her comparison and she touched my cheek. "See? There it is."

Evrett piled more wood on the bonfire. He reached out to help Lotta up and she gave me a quick hug before following him.

I stared into the fire, sitting cross-legged.

Trom knelt beside me. "I brought you something."

He handed me a cup full of an amber liquid. "What is it?" I asked curiously.

"Some drink that they made in one of the shacks." Trom gestured for me to drink it.

The liquid burned my throat as it went down and I inhaled it into my lungs. Coughing, I passed the cup back to Trom. He laughed at me and swigged the rest of the alcohol.

"That's nasty." I made a face once I had stopped coughing.

"It gets better." Trom got to his feet and offered me his hand. "We'd better see to Karel afore he makes a fool of himself."

I took his hand. "That bad?"

Trom sighed. "He should never mix liquor and wooing women."

I winced.

It took us two hours to get Karel away from the drink and back into his clothes. Luckily, it really wasn't much of an oddity on midwinter's night. Since we had to stay around the fires and it was too cold to go anywhere else, couples didn't bother to find shelter before they made love. They covered themselves with blankets, but in the heat of passion, they didn't always notice when a blanket slipped. I had to slap Karel when he ogled a naked woman for too long.

Trom and I dragged Karel over to a clear spot on the grass. It was near enough to the fire that he would stay warm, but far enough so that he wouldn't roll into it. I pulled a blanket over him and forced him to lie down.

I leaned against Karel, tired after chasing him around for so long. I gently brushed the hair away from his face as he slept. Trom stared morosely at my hand and I blushed. "He looks like he did when he was small."

"Oh." Trom nodded. "It's hard imagining him small."

I agreed. Karel was bigger than me now, even though he was two years younger.

"Look." Trom pointed to two shapes on the outskirts of the forest.

I squinted. "It's Mathias, isn't it? Who's the other one?"

"I can't tell." Trom answered. He looked at me, the question evident on his face.

We stood and walked towards the trees in a crooked line, keeping our gaze on the fire so that our destination wouldn't be obvious. We then used the trees as a cover as we silently crept up on the figures.

We really didn't trust Mathias. I wanted to, but he had too many secrets.

This secret was a woman. She was small and petite and held a small child in her arms.

Mathias had his arm around her. I supposed that she was his woman and my guess was confirmed when he took the child into his arms and kissed the woman.

"There's a way, maybe." Mathias whispered to her. "They won't let me in, but I'll try harder. I can get you out of here."

She reached up and stroked his cheek, her eyes filled with worry and longing. "Don't get hurt, please. I couldn't..."

I felt like I was in a dream, watching something that was too delicate and pure to be real.

"Shh." Mathias hushed her. "I'll be careful. How's my baby doin'?"

The child he held in his arms was a bit more than a baby, probably around three. The boy reached up to pat Mathias' face, smiling happily.

The woman smiled. "He misses his da, but he's doing all right."

Mathias brought the woman back into his embrace and squeezed her tightly. "I'll do anything to get us out of here, I promise. Anything."

"No!" The woman cut him off sharply. "Not anything!"

Mathias gritted his teeth. "I'm sorry, love, but it's the truth. I want you to raise our son in a free land. I never want him to feel the whip on his back. I never want you hurt by _anyone_again, no matter what power they think they have. I'll do anything to get that for my family."

His eyes burned with a fierce intensity and although he wasn't looking at me, I couldn't seem to look away. Finally, he looked down at the ground and I could look away.

The woman smiled sadly. "I love you, Mathias."

Trom and I hastily backtracked, knowing that we were invading on something which was not ours.

Trom cleared his throat once we were far enough away. "I've seen that woman before. She's the lover of an overseer."

"And Mathias', too, it seems." I shook my head. "The overseer must be forcin' her. That's why Mathias had to leave, 'cause he was in the way."

Trom frowned gloomily. "It's sad."

I shrugged. "Pity we can't cut him in."

"He'll benefit with the rest of us if we succeed." Trom pointed out.

We joined the storytelling and listened to stories of heroism and comical adventures late into the night. Trom casually slipped his arm around me and I let him. I wasn't sure how I felt about him, but if Mathias was right about him liking me, then it wouldn't do any harm. If he didn't like me, then it was just a hug between friends. I laid my head on Trom's shoulder and was lulled to sleep by the deep and quiet voices of the men.

* * *

"Here." Trom handed me a bucket filled with dirt. I began the crawl back to the entrance. "We aren't going to finish it."

I snorted. Midwinter was two weeks passed, as was the necessity for a cheerful mood. "I know. It'll take until next midwinter."

"Maybe." Trom called to me. "I'm betting on the summer after."

Mathias' child would have to wait, I sighed. Looking up at the trapdoor, the knothole suddenly went dark. The coast wasn't clear and I waited patiently.

"Where are they?" Milo's booming voice traveled through the floorboards. My blood ran cold and I held completely still.

"Sir, they left for the rest of the crew 'bout a half hour ago." Lejo lied. "I do not know where they are now, sir."

Milo stomped heavily on the ground as he marched out. "Line for count."

Trom had heard our overseer's voice and had scurried to me. We both stared up at the trapdoor in fear.

"We'll have to go to the woods." I whispered. "Pretend we were there all along."

Trom nodded his agreement, but he was almost as pale as I was. We waited as long as we could stand, but Trom decided it was time. "Come on, Adda."

He hurriedly opened the trapdoor and leaped out. I was not far behind. We covered the door, dusted off our clothes, and were off in a flash.

We ran as if the dogs were at our feet. I knew that it would be hard to see us if we kept the tower directly at our backs, if the overseers were at the angle I thought they were. Trom was ahead of me and I lengthened my stride to keep up.

"We'll have to pretend we're lovers." I panted as I ran beside him. "It's the only excuse we can use."

Trom nodded and took my hand. His palm was warm in mine and I would have enjoyed it if I was not afraid for my life.

"Listen!" I cried, hearing the distant sound of the dogs barking.

We tramped through the trees, listening to the dogs getting closer and closer.

"Here's good." Trom stopped me, pulling off his shirt and pulling me close to him. "Kiss me."

I obeyed, belatedly realizing that this was my first real kiss and it was a pity that I couldn't give it my full attention.

As the dogs and the overseers rushed into the clearing, Trom and I froze. Somehow, Trom's hands had made it inside my shirt. I shrunk against him, terrified of the dogs that the overseers could release on us.

"You have no idea how much trouble you're in." The head overseer muttered dangerously. "No idea."

I stared anxiously at the dogs and Trom wrapped his arms around me protectively.

"Come here then." The head overseer pulled out his heavy leather whip.

"I'm sorry." I begged, hoping to escape the beating. "We were just-"

"I don't care!" The head overseer grabbed me from Trom and flung me on the ground. "Tie them."

Milo and another overseer tied us to a tree, linking our wrists around the trunk. The head overseer stood behind me and another stood behind Trom.

I barely had time to prepare myself before the whip cracked upon my back. I cried out and gritted my teeth. The blows came faster and faster and before long my back was a mass of pain. I slumped on the rope, fighting consciousness. Finally, I let go of the fight and slipped into a dark realm of nothingness.

It was interrupted all too soon. I was dropped on the ground unceremoniously and my eyes jolted open. The bright light of the sun blinded me, but I kept my eyes open because it made pretty spots in my vision.

"You!" Milo barked. "Take care of them!"

I was gently lifted by someone's strong arms, but they put pressure on my back and I screamed. The man cursed and hefted me over his shoulder, so that my raw back was exposed. I was taken inside, probably our shack, and laid on the ground.

"Tear her shirt off." Mathias ordered calmly. "Pick out all the fibers."

"Adda?" Trom's voice cracked as he called out for me. "Adda?"

"I'm fine." I called back. My voice was hoarse from screaming, although I could only remember screaming once. "You?"

"Been better." Trom answered honestly.

"The light's so bad..." Lotta tore my shirt down the middle and pulled it away from my back. I winced and bit my knuckle to keep from yelling as she began to clean the wounds with her bare fingers.

'Try to keep her awake." Mathias suggested, working on Trom.

"You and Trom?" Lotta murmured, wiping my back with a wet cloth. "Poor girl. Did they catch you..." Lotta asked, letting the words hang.

"No." I shook my head. "Not really."

"You could've done whatever you had to do in here." Lotta scolded gently. "The risk of one of us waking up is nothing compared to getting a whipping."

I said nothing. The pain was coming in waves now, with every stroke of the cloth. Tears dripped down my nose and fell on the floor.

"I didn't even know you wanted Trom. You've never...oh." Lotta stopped wiping the blood away. "I thought this was over!"

"We're so close!" I whispered. "So close."

Mathias gave me a sharp look, but shook his head. "Lotta's right. One more of these and you won't be going anywhere ever again." His voice seemed to get quieter until it faded completely from my head.

Suddenly I wasn't in our shack anymore, but in a forest I've never seen before. The pain was gone and a woman even taller than I walked from behind the trees. She had honey colored skin and long, beautiful hair. She wore a soft cotton gown with flowers embroidered around the hem.

I stared at her, awed by her beauty. She smiled at me before she started to disappear.

"Come back!" I struggled to loose myself from the bonds, which had appeared to bind me to a tall rail sticking from the ground. "Who are you? Come back, come back!"

The pain returned and my hallucination faded. Awareness came to me in flashes and I seemed to pick up the most peculiar things.

Lotta was crying as she held my hand.

Rolph gently patted my head. "Hold on, girl. It's worth it."

Karel was pounding the wall of the shack with his fists, before Evrett pulled him to the ground. "You'll wake her up."

Lejo and Josef conversed quietly in one corner of the shack, seeming to argue.

I tried to struggle up, to see how Trom was doing. I had not heard him make a sound and I didn't want him to be dead. I could see his chest moving and I collapsed back down.

"Sleep, Addy." Lotta murmured.

"I am." I mumbled back, but it didn't sound like any words I've ever heard.

My back felt like it was being scalded with hot irons and torn open with sharp wires.

**I decided I needed to kill somebody off. So if there's anyone you're particularly attached to, you better make their case with me. Chances are, right now, they're doomed to die a horrible death.**** Seriously.**

**Or this could just be a ruse to get you to review. Lies and trickery aren't beneath me.**


	6. Chapter 6

**For some reason, a lot of you readers want Mathias to die. I suppose it's the potential for romantic tragedy, but it's still quite sad. I thought I made him very likable. :) **

**CHAPTER 6**

I stretched carefully, trying not to tear the fresh and still healing scars on my back. Milo, of all cruel and heartless overseers, had slipped me a small water skin filled with a goo without saying a word. I had shown the pouch to Mathias. He raised his eyebrows and told me to rub it on my back and Trom's. 

The substance had sped the healing so that a week later, the scars had formed and there was very little pain. Trom and I were back to work, although we avoided heavy lifting and strenuous work. 

Lotta pulled the blanket away from my head. I snatched it back, tightly clinging to the bit of warmth it offered. She laughed and sat up. "C'mon, let's wash by the stream. You reek."

I scowled as I stood up. "Well, so do you."

"Which is why I want to wash. Evrett will soon lose interest in me if I don't."

"I'm glad I don't have that problem." I shrugged. "Nobody cares if I wash or not."

"_I _care." Lotta insisted. "You haven't washed in over two months."

"Alright, I'll come with you." I agreed reluctantly. "But neither have the men. They smell worse than I do. I'll just get dirty again. Besides, slaves are supposed to be dirty. I like to live up to expectations."

"Those are all worthy excuses that would work on anyone but me." Lotta firmly grabbed my arm.

Once a month, a morning was set aside for the slaves to wash. Men washed in the stream by the shacks but the women went to the stream in the forest. It was further away, but we could get more privacy although the overseers were up there. Lotta washed religiously, but I avoided it during the winter. 

We ran up the path to the stream, attempting to work up a sweat before we washed ourselves in the icy mountain stream.

A handful of women were already bathing in the water, ignoring the overseers who openly watched. After all, the overseers were men and men stared when naked women stood before them. Lotta and I quickly took our clothes off and got into the water, hurrying to get it over with. 

I gasped at the icy sharpness of the stream and immediately started to shiver. I knelt in the stream and rubbed the water all over my body. My teeth shattered as I cleaned my skin, washing off the dirt and grime. 

"Mithros' shield." Lotta cursed softly.

Once I was satisfied with the state of my skin, I dipped my hair into the water and scrubbed at my scalp.

"Hurry." Lotta jumped from the stream and shook herself off. She pulled on her clothes and jogged in place. "Hurry!"

I grabbed the arm she offered and put my own clothes and boots on. We tore down the path. Our numb legs stumbled at first, but we finally warmed up our bodies. Our hair had frozen solid through. 

Mathias grinned at us when we arrived at the shack. "I knew it. Men _are_ smarter than women."

"And smellier." Lotta shivered and went into the shack, probably to find a cuddle with Evrett. 

"I didn't want to." I protested when Mathias raised his eyebrow at me. "It's too dratted cold for washing. She didn't listen."

"And you're defenseless." Mathias looked at me with pretended pity. 

"I'm wounded." I pouted. "And defenseless."

Mathias suddenly went from jesting to completely seriousness in a manner of seconds. "Look, Adda, I need your help."

I matched his calm gaze. "With what?"

"My woman is in danger." Mathias answered.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She has a child." Mathias explained. "The overseer has claimed the boy as his own."

"Is he?" My brows furrowed.

"I don't know." His eyes held the same intensity that they had in the forest. "It doesn't matter to me, but the overseer will kill her if the child isn't his own."

"How will he know?"

"He's taking him to the mage tomorrow. The mage will be able to tell." 

I panicked. "What can I do? I can't get in trouble again, they'll hang me. What do you want me to do?"

Mathias put his hand over my mouth to end my babbling. "I know what you're doing. The thing in the watchtower, I don't know what it is, but I know you're trying to escape."

I looked around carefully, making sure no one was around. Of course, no one was. Mathias was careful enough. "I can't talk about it. I swore an oath."

"Then don't talk about it." Mathias told me. "Listen to me. This overseer, he can be violent. She is sure that he will kill her if the boy is not his. I need your help. Do what you can, please. I am begging you, Adda."

He released my arm, but his eyes held mine until I nodded. "I'll do what I can."

I turned, a bit unnerved by the exchange. I found Josef alone behind the shack. 

"Mathias knows." I told Josef quietly. "He needs help."

Josef cuffed me angrily, the blow almost knocking me to my feet.

"I didn't tell him!" I cried out, covering my head with my arms. "I didn't tell him, I swear it."

"Then how'd he know?" Josef whispered furiously.

"Cause he's not an idiot!" I judged Josef's reaction and decided that he wasn't going to hit me again. "An overseer is going to kill his woman and child if we don't do something."

Josef shrugged.

"Can we hide them in the tunnel?" I asked.

He snorted. "Until it's dug out? No. We can't risk this, girl."

"There's nothing we can do?" I cried. "Please, you didn't see his face!"

Josef shook his head impatiently. "This is more than one woman, more than you or me or Mathias. We have a chance to free all of our people. We can't risk it."

I gritted my teeth with frustration and Josef sighed. He grabbed my arm when I began to leave. 

"If you weren't such a durned good thinker, we'd have all thought you were simple in the head." Josef told me and I stared at him. "You're content with this life, when all we want to do is get away."

"I-"

He interrupted me. "Maybe it's because you know no different. Maybe it's because of those bands on your wrists or maybe it's just the way you are. You could live out the rest of your life here, but I can't. I'm not happy like this. I'm sorry we can't help him. I wish we could." He left before I could.

I stared at his retreating back. "But I'm not happy either. I don't smile."

He didn't hear me and I leaned against the shack. I would have to think up a different way to save Mathias' woman. 

There was no other way to escape. Running was riskier than hoping the baby was the overseer's. There was no way to hide, not if they couldn't use the tunnel. I couldn't make the overseer not bring the child to the mage, but there was something I could do. 

I could kill the overseer. 

It was the only way. I would find him in the dark of night and bash him over the head or slit his throat. Choking would probably be better, because he wouldn't be able to scream, but I wasn't sure I was stronger than him. I would have to slit his throat then, and be quick about it. I would light out for the border, but they would probably catch me anyway. They'd hang me or whip me to death. If I was lucky, they would do it before the mage arrived. Otherwise, I'd have a slower, more painful death that I did not look forward to.

I sighed. 

"I'd be very disappointed if you got yourself killed." 

I turned sharply, positive that I hadn't been speaking out loud. 

It was the woman from my dream, the day I got whipped. She was even more beautiful in person. 

I tried to speak, but my voice squeaked. I blushed and looked down. 

"Adda?" The woman's fingers lifted my chin. I pulled away, because her touch was tingly on my skin.

"You're a god." I accused. Something just told me that she was, although I shouldn't have been able to tell. 

The woman laughed amusedly. "I suppose I am."

I had heard enough in the stories to know that I should kneel. I knelt and bowed my head.

"I've taken a special interest in you." 

Something told me that wasn't good.

"Of course," The woman waved her hand. "There were far more interesting things going on in the Isles, but they're a bit dull at the moment. I went looking for a bit of fun and I found you."

"Mathias needs your special interest more, milady." I pointed out cautiously. 

She shook her head. "You're at the center of it all, Adda. It has to be you. I don't think much is involved with that." She reassured me with a smile. "Kyprioth has a chosen one. That goes well enough for him. Aly amuses him to no end with her tricks. I don't have anything to amuse me for the time being and I would like to help you."

"What are you going to do?" I asked cautiously.

"Finish your tunnel, for a start." The goddess snorted. "You'll never finish it yourselves. Mortals."

"Why pick me?" I wondered. "Why not someone else?"

"Because you'll make a beautiful mess of things when I let your Gift out." 

"What?" I asked alarmingly. "I don't know how to use it." 

"I know." The goddess smiled with anticipation. "You can be sure that I'll be around to watch the fireworks when you use it. It's been shut up inside you for eight years. It wants to be used. I'll help you to...direct it."

"This is going to happen now, isn't it?" I asked. 

"I hope so." The goddess shrugged. "Then I'll be off to find my next plaything."

"What if it all goes wrong?" I asked. I was starting to become frightened.

She waved her hand flippantly. "Not likely. I anticipated your cooperation and fixed the tunnel already."

The goddess disappeared. 

I remained kneeling on the ground, taking time to collect my thoughts. I wasn't delusional. My mind had never tricked me like this before. I had spoken to a god and she wasn't likely to lie about finishing the tunnel. The escape would happen soon. I began to tremble.

"I'll brush your hair out, if you want." Lotta came around the corner of the shack, holding a rough comb. She stared at me oddly. "Are you alright?"

I stood, brushing off my knees. "Yes. Could you wait a bit?"

"Just a bit." Lotta absentmindedly played with the tips of the wooden comb.

I found Mathias right where I had left him. He looked up at me, a shimmer of hope in his eyes. 

I casually leaned in towards him. "Hide your woman and your boy in the forest near the watchtower. Don't let _anyone_find out."

"Does this mean you didn't get the permission?" Mathias asked.

"Just do it." I advised, then hesitated. "If this doesn't work, she may be in trouble."

Mathias frowned. "Is it going to work?"

"I think so. Yes." I answered. "But the others don't know. I have to go. Just do what I say. I'll take the blame if it goes wrong."

"Alright." Mathias agreed reluctantly. He set off, his hands in his pockets. 

I went back to Lotta. She looked at me suspiciously.

"Are you up to something?" She asked me, pushing on my shoulders to get me to sit since I was a couple inches taller than her.

"Course not." I answered slowly. 

"Liar." She began to comb the ice from my hair. "Be careful, all right?"

"I usually am." I replied. 

She didn't answer and continued to work on my hair. When she had finished, she pulled me up into a quick hug.

"I'll be careful." I promised.

Mathias rejoined our crew barely five minutes before the call to work interrupted our rest. He nodded at me.

I was quiet as we walked to the lumber camp and the watchtower. Every fiber of my being was desperately hoping that the goddess had not been playing a cruel trick and that the tunnel would be completely.

I shouldn't have worried. Karel's and Saul's faces as they emerged from the tunnel were proof enough that she had kept her word.

"It's done. I don't know how, but the tunnel is finished." Saul gasped out. 

"What's this?" Josef's face was a mask of shock.

"I don't understand." Lejo puzzled. "Are you sure it's...?

"Yes." Karel's eyes were bright in his pale face. "I swear it, it runs all the way."

"He's speaking the truth." Saul climbed from the tunnel.

"We could leave right away." Josef shook his head in a stunned manner.

"Can I get Matthias' woman and boy?" I ventured. 

Josef whirled on me. "How did you do it, girl?"

"It wasn't me." I raised my eyebrows. "How could it have been me?"

"Don't play games." Josef warned.

"I'm a mage." I raised my wrists to remind him of the bands on them. "It just...happened."

"Let's go." Lejo hissed impatiently. 

"I can get them, then?" I asked again.

"Get them." Josef ordered. "Hurry, girl."

I left the tower, looking around me cautiously. An overseer stood in clear view of the tower's entrance. He stopped me with his gaze and began to walk towards me.

"I have to use the latrine." I begged. "Badly. Please."

He rolled his eyes and waved me towards the woods. 

Mathias had not told me where he had hidden them, but they were easy enough to find. I silently crept up to them. "It's time."

The woman nodded and hoisted the child onto her hip.

I needed a distraction. If only my bands were taken off and I could use my Gift...

_I suppose you'll be needing this._ The goddess' voice sounded through my head and a dry branch at my foot caught fire. I picked up the branch and used it as a torch. The trees and brush were wet, but the goddess' magic allowed them to catch fire anyway.

The woman stared at the fire I had spread, but did not speak. She looked terrified. 

"C'mon." Still holding the torch, I led them through the forest. We circled around to the back of the watchtower. I waited until I heard cries of fire to circle to the front of the tower.

"Down into the hole." I helped the woman into the tunnel and she clutched her child protectively. 

"It's finally happening." Karel whispered excitedly to me. "It's happening." 

Lejo and Vince had already left down the tunnel. Karel quickly followed, scampering like a rat in the cramped space. Saul gently took the small boy from Mathias' woman and led her down into the darkness. 

"You coming?" Josef gestured for me to jump into the tunnel.

The darkness gaped at me. For a moment, I felt overwhelmed and vulnerable. I made a hasty decision. "No. Someone needs to cover the door up. I'll set fire to the rest of the forest, as much as I can. You tell them in Corus for us."

Josef gripped my shoulder and held my gaze, a silent goodbye. 

"I'll stay with Adda." Trom climbed out of the tunnel. "Good luck."

Josef descended into the darkness and we quickly covered up the tunnel door. 

Trom and I looked out into the forest. The overseers were directing the remainder of our crew to put the fire out. Trom grabbed my torch and almost set the watchtower ablaze, but I stopped him.

"Don't. It's Lord Farren's tower."

Trom shrugged and we sneaked away.

**I felt a few parts were a bit slow, but overall, I think it was an okay chapter. Just so you all know, the goddess wasn't a last minute "Let's figure out some way to advance the plot." She was planned since almost the very beginning. Besides, more chapters of digging could get very monotonous. **


	7. Chapter 7

**This took me forever to write, but I had testing, got grounded from my computer, and was sick. On top of that, I got writer's block and decided that the original chapter wasn't good enough and I completely rewrote it. **

**Despite all that, this is an amazing chapter and I hope you enjoy it.**

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

The forest was alight. I swung the torch as we ran, laughing with delight to see the damage we were causing. The magical fire consumed the trees, brush, and dead leaves like a bloodthirsty beast. It began to nip at our heels, spreading almost as fast as we could run. The heat radiated from the dancing flames, causing shiny sweat to cover our bodies.

Trom grabbed my arm and led me up a rocky incline. The fire raged on around us, but we were protected from its fury. He brushed his hair back and grinned at me. "This is fun."

"Yah. Fun." I agreed. I kept the torch in my hand, although the burning end was then just a smoldering tip.

"We'll head to the plowed fields." Trom pointed out our route. We'd be safe from the fire on the open dirt.

"We'll be in plain sight." I followed him over the rocks, watching my feet to prevent myself from stumbling. "Once the forest is burnt out, we should hide in it. The ashes will cover our scent."

"Might be a while before the forest gets cool enough to hide in."

I shrugged. "Think of a better plan."

Trom turned to look at me seriously. "We are going to get caught. The other won't be able to get to Corus in time for us."

"I know." I nodded. "Guess I just don't want to give up."

"We aren't going to." He frowned determinedly. "I don't want to die any more 'n you do."

The descent down from the rocky hill was treacherous, but Trom and I navigated it well. We looked down at our feet as we half-slid, concentrating on where we placed them. If one of us slipped and hurt an ankle, running from slave-catchers would be hard.

At the bottom of the hill, Trom casually slid his arm around my waist, but I sidestepped him just as casually. He cleared his throat with a grin. "Can't really blame me for tryin'."

Men will be men, I supposed.

We ran slowly through the plowed fields. Out in the open, we could see the smog of black smoke rising above the burning forest into the sky. I looked up at the black against the cold grey sky. I'd never seen that much smoke before.

A sharp bark jerked our gazes towards one side of the field. A streak of brown fur flashed across the field towards us.

"Dogs!" I cried out in terror. We could not run. They would chase us if we ran, as they had been trained to do. Maybe if we stayed very still...

The dog launched itself at Trom, faster than either of us could react. Trom was knocked to the ground and pulled his arms up to protect his face. He struck the dog, but the dog kept biting at his arms. Trom wrestled the dog off of him and stood, screaming when the hound attached itself to his leg.

Fear wrenched itself in my belly and I trembled violently, helplessly watching Trom fall to his feet again as the dog tore at the muscles in his leg. I remembered the torch that I still held in my hand. I raised it over my head and brought it down on the dog. The dog yelped and fell away from Trom.

I stepped over Trom to put myself between him and the dog. The dog advanced upon me, growling. I gritted my teeth and held the hefty stick up in front of me. When the dog jumped at me, I knocked him back.

The blow did not deter him. He kept jumping back at me, until a solid swing to his head cracked his skull. He lay whimpering on the ground, staring up at me with pained brown eyes.

I backed away and almost tripped over Trom. I knelt at my friend's side.

"I'm fine." He whispered, his eyes clenched against the pain. "Help me up. The others will follow this one."

I pulled his arm over my shoulder and stood, lifting him up. He favored his right leg, the one that the dog had ravaged. It was bleeding, but not uncontrollably. The other bites were minor.

"Hurry." Trom limped along with my support.

I led him back towards the burning forest. If we cut ran through the trees before they burned, the flames would burn away our trail.

"How bad?" I asked Trom.

"Keep going." Trom's face was white with pain. Poor boy. He was whipped one week and attacked by a dog the next.

I had dropped the torch. It would only get in the way as we ran and would be useless against a pack of dogs. We would have to outrun the dogs.

Trom stumbled and I couldn't stop him from falling. I collapsed on the ground next to him, my scarred back beginning to pain me.

"Give me a minute." Trom panted.

"Don't have a minute." I got to my feet and grabbed his arm.

"I can't." He protested.

"C'mon, Trom." I hooked my hands underneath his arms and strained to pull him up. "Never figured you for a weakling. Well, the others did, but _I _figured you for a fighter. If I was wrong, then I'd best leave you-"

Trom groaned and got to his feet. I secured his arm around my shoulder and wrapped my other arm around his waist.

The trees offered us some cover, though it was hard to breathe with the smoke. Trom fought on with determination. Despite my help, he was still having a hard time. Even I was having a hard time. We'd been setting the fires for about an hour and we hadn't really stopped running since then.

There was a small cave close to where we were. It was sheltered from view by the trees and it might get hot, but it would not burn. I was worried about the smoke, but Trom could not keep going for much longer.

When we reached the cave, we climbed in between the rocks. The space was cramped and we had to crouch. I pulled the leg of Trom's breeches up so I could look at the wound. It looked awful, but after it was cleaned, it would most likely look better.

"How's it look?"

"Stopped bleeding." I answered. "You'll be fine, if you don't die of infection."

"Thanks." Trom lay back on the dirt. "We should keep quiet."

I lay down next to him, exhausted from our run. We would rest up for a bit, hide out as long as we could.

* * *

I woke with a start, my whole body tingling with a strange feeling.

"Adda?" Trom whispered through the darkness. "You're shaking."

The tingling started at my wrists. I lifted my arms and they felt lighter than usual. It took me a moment to realize that the iron bands had fallen off my wrists. By the sparse moonlight from the cave entrance, I could see that two smooth, shiny white scars were left in their place, a reminder of eight years of the chafing iron next to my skin.

I heard a soft crashing through the underbrush. The noises were headed towards the cave and I scrambled quietly to my hands and knees.

Two figures began to crawl into the cave, freezing when they saw us. We could not make them out, but one of them leaned forward.

"Adda?" It was Lotta. She jumped forward and caught me up into her arms, squeezing tightly. "Stupid girl."

"We got them away." I smiled. "Through the tunnel. They're going to-"

Evrett cut me off, his face hard. "They caught them. They're all dead, Adda. We thought you were dead."

I pushed Lotta away, stunned. "They caught them?"

Evrett nodded. "Yonny knew what you were up to. He turned you in. The soldiers were waitin' for them at the end of the tunnel. They didn't have a chance."

"Karel?" I shook uncontrollably. "Josef? All of them?" Lotta touched my shoulder, but I shook her off. "Trom's hurt. Got tore up by a dog."

"I'm going back." Evrett announced.

"No!" Lotta's eyes were wide and scared. "Please, stay."

"I can't." Evrett stroked Lotta's cheek tenderly. "Stay with Trom."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We rebelled after they killed the others." Evrett replied. "All of us. There's a fight back at the shacks."

"I'm coming." I decided. "I think I'm meant to kill the mage."

Lotta turned her shocked face to me. "What?"  
I held up my bare wrists. "My Gift was let out."

"We'd best leave now." Evrett backed from the cave. I followed after him.

"Be careful!" Lotta called out after us.

"I love you both." Evrett caught Lotta's eyes in his own. Behind him, Trom made a pained expression. I looked from Evrett to Lotta, sure that Evrett did not love Trom. Evrett straightened out and looked to me. "Let's go."

We ran to the shacks. The fire had gone out. The sky was made even darker by the smoke, but the moon shone through the clouds. I was much less exhausted, my sleep having restored my energy.

"Don't think of goin' after Yonny." Evrett said between breaths. "We got to him already. Crew shouldn't turn on crew, whatever the reason."

I did not want to think of Yonny's betrayal. I did not want to think about anything.

As we got nearer to the shacks, I began to hear shouts and grunts. When we turned around the corner of a shack, I could not believe my eyes.

The slaves had turned on the soldiers and overseers, attacking them with anything they could get their hands on. A short, stocky man swung a shovel at an overseer. Two slave women attacked a dog with sticks and another fought off a soldier with a stone. I watched with wide eyes at the scene before me.

"Here." Evrett picked up a dead guard's spear from the ground and handed it to me. "Fight. Watch yourself."

I took the spear, hefting it in my hands. I had grown up carrying tools but had never held a real weapon. This was only a rough spear but I thought it was beautiful.

I wasn't allowed to think for long. A soldier rushed towards me, sword upraised. I hacked at him with my spear and he backed off. He chopped at my spear, but I slit his throat while his defense was down. I shoved away his corpse, clumsily blocking the strike of another soldier. A slave man cut the soldier's legs from under him without a second glance. An overseer snapped his whip at my face and I narrowly avoided losing an eye. I hit his arm with my spear and he dropped the whip, clutching his broken arm. I gutted him.

After a few more minutes of fighting, I broke away. I had unconsciously fought my way towards the platform where they punished the slaves. I stared at my five friends and the woman who had been with them.

Karel hung, his body spinning slightly on the rope. I climbed the stairs to the platform, leaning on my spear for support. His cloudy blue eyes stared back at me like he could see into my head. His hands had been cut off and the bloody stumps still dripped blood.

Josef and Lejo swung side by side. Their faces seemed even more determined in death than they had been in life. One of Vince's hands still hung from his wrist by a thin scrap of flesh and half of Saul's face was bashed in.

"Best not to stare too long." Mathias sat by the side of his platform, clutching his little boy. He shielded the face of the boy from the corpse of his wife.

I jerked my gaze away from my friends and focused on Mathias' face.

Mathias rocked his son back and forth. "Hung them up there and cut off their hands, let them bleed to death. 'Twas horrible. Josef shouted 'Freedom!' before he died. I've never heard a braver sound."

I tried to speak, but couldn't.

"Rolph and Evrett held me back." Mathias began to weep. "For the sake of my lad, I'm glad they did, but I wish I was dead."

Tears sprang to my eyes and a hard feeling in my chest solidified in between my lungs.

I didn't even try to speak; I didn't know what to say.

"They killed the lord. Cut him into little pieces with their tools. Ripped him to pieces with their hands. Some of them are in a rage, Adda." Mathias stood, holding his boy in his arms. "Slaves aren't ever meant to be slaves."

I watched him walk slowly down the platform steps. I looked past his head, past the throng of fighting men and women, and I saw the mage.

The mage worked his way through the fighting. The mage did not seem to be looking at anything in particular, but as he walked, slaves fell to the ground and clutched their throats.

I left down the platform and walked towards him. He glanced at me when I was about twenty feet away. I stared at him, still tingling with the feeling of my Gift. I knew that it would come when I called for it.

The mage raised his arms and amber fire pooled in his open palms. He whipped hissing flames towards me, a sadistic smile on his lips.

I panicked and threw up my arms, forgetting to call on my Gift. It came anyway. The goddess had said that it wanted to be used.

The mage's magic bounced off the thin wall of gray power that flew to my rescue. I began to shake, trying to hold back my Gift. A subtle hint of fear appeared in the mage's smile.

I stopped holding back and my Gift erupted like a dam that had burst. The dark gray magic flew towards him as fast as a storm wind. He had no time to react but shrieked once as he disappeared.

The waves would not stop flowing from me. The bursts of magic lit up the sky in spurts. I began to sweat as I fought to control it. My eyes glazed and I faltered.

"Adda!" Evrett grabbed my shoulder and shook it. "Stop!"

His touch helped me gain control. I bit my lip hard and with a final burst of energy, I stopped my Gift from leaving. My body felt like it was weighed down and my lip was dripping blood down my chin.

The soldiers and overseers began fighting with a frenzy. My display had made them afraid that they would meet the same fate as the mage. I could have told them that they didn't have to worry. I could barely lift my spear.

But I had to lift it anyway. A big soldier raised his long sword and prepared to slash me open. I clumsily blocked his swing. His sword slid from my spear and the flat edge of the blade hit my arm. I winced as my arm went numb. Evrett cut him from behind and the man went down.

"Get out of here." Evrett ordered. "You're no use now."

"I can fight." I protested.

"Don't make me knock you out." Evrett threatened. "Back to the cave, now."

"Alright." I nodded.

Evrett took my spear from me and handed me a small knife. "Here's something you can carry."

I made a face at him and headed towards the trees. Evrett was right. I didn't really feel right about running from a fight but I would get myself killed within minutes.

After ten minutes of trudging through the woods, I heard shouts and screams in a clearing. Three guards lay dead on the ground and a woman and three children huddled against a tree. Furious slaves stared down at them.

"Please, let my children go." The woman begged. The clothes they wore were of fine cloth. This was young lord's family.

"Why?" A slave woman demanded, pushing to the front of the group. She held a massive broadsword. "We've been providin' for your riches for years, our blood setting silk on your backs."

"My children did not know any better." The noblewoman struggled to her feet. I remembered that Lord Farren said that she was sick. She looked shaky and pale.

"Let's just kill them and be done with it!" A slave barked impatiently.

"No!" I stepped into the clearing. They turned to me and I shrunk back a little, before taking a deep breath and straightening up. "Leave them be."

"And you are?" One of the men challenged me.

"She's from Josef's crew." Another man answered him back.

"You got the lord." I stared at them levelly. "There's still fighting at the shacks. You don't have to be murderin' women and children."

"Like you've a right-" The man began to scoff.

An older woman held up her hand to stop his scolding. "She's just lost her crew. And she's right, as well. Let's go back to the shacks. There are plenty others to punish."

The others took the old woman's counsel and left the clearing.

"Thanks." I nodded to the woman.

"You'd best watch out for them." The woman advised. "They won't get far."

When she left, I looked at young Lord Farren's family curiously. His mother was pretty, but thin and sickly. The oldest girl and the small boy took after her, with their blond hair and blue eyes. Young Lord Farren also carried the looks of his mama. The youngest girl, just a bit smaller than the other, took after her father. She had darker hair and brown eyes.

"I can't repay you." The noblewoman thanked me. "You saved my children."

"I know where to take you." I announced. "It's safe."

"Take my children." The woman pleaded. "I don't think I can go on."

I could see that she was not just being a noblewoman. She was flushed and dizzy and clutched her belly as if she was in pain.

I picked up the toddler and set him on the back of his oldest sister. "Can you carry him?"

The girl wrapped her arms around the boy's legs. "I think so. Roger, hold on to me."

I stuck my knife into my belt and picked up the noblewoman. She gasped with pain, but did not complain. "Follow me."

The noblewoman did not weigh much, but I was tired and lifting made the scars on my back stretch. I was certain that they would not rip and keeping Lord Farren's family safe for him was more important than my stupid back anyway.

The girls followed me obediently and I set off for the watchtower. It would be a long walk, but it was far from any fighting.

"Our papa's dead." The youngest girl rubbed her nose with a dirty hand. "That's what mama said."

"Your mama was right." I said carefully. I didn't want to set off any hysterics.

"How did he die?" The young girl questioned. She followed me closely, almost stepping on my heels.

"We killed him." I answered automatically, then caught myself. "Not me, I was setting fires."

"Why are you hurting us?" The dark haired girl frowned at me, walking backwards so she could look at me as we walked.

"Cecilia, that's enough." The noblewoman wearily chastised her daughter.

The girl ignored her mother, who wasn't much of a threat anyway. She stared at me, waiting for an answer.

I sighed. "You hurt us first, I guess."

"What did we do?" The girl, Cecilia, asked.

"Not much to me," I shrugged. "Rolph had a family that he hasn't seen in fifteen years. Mathias' woman was killed today. Half of my crew is dead, just 'cause they tried to run."

"Oh." Cecilia answered quietly.

The oldest girl trudged along, carrying her load without complaining. She looked tired but determined. For nobles, the family wasn't so bad.

After ten minutes of blessed silence, Cecilia spoke up again. "Do you know Farren?"

I nodded.

"He's going to be a knight." She announced proudly.

"I know." I answered.

"So am I." Cecilia scowled at her sister when she snorted. "I _am._"

I heard raucous shouts from down the pathway. "Hurry!"

I started to run, even though my back and legs protested. The girls hurried along behind me, faces drawn with fear.

"Put me down." Lord Farren's mother whispered. "Take my children and run."

I gritted my teeth as I ran. I wouldn't put the woman down unless I had to. The shouts weren't close enough to require it.

Finally, we reached the watchtower.

"Farren built this!" Cecilia ran towards the watchtower. Her older sister set the little boy down and grabbed his hand, leading him towards the tower.

"Climb to the top." I told them. "All the way, but don't fall."

I had to put the noblewoman down, but I supported her as we climbed the winding stairs.

The three children were waiting at the top of the tower, sitting on the platform that Trom and I had built. Karel had scratched a small bird on one of the boards with a nail and I felt a pain in my chest when I saw it.

I helped the woman to lay down and she gathered her children into her arms. She trembled and shook with some terrible pain.

I respectfully left them alone, sensing the inevitable. I sat at the very bottom of the stairs and leaned against the wall. If I closed my eyes, I could almost feel the hot summer sun warming our backs as we lifted logs onto the unfinished wall. I could hear Karel's teasing words as he called me every name imaginable and Josef's stern rebukes. I would give anything to have that back.

**Pretty awesome chapter, huh?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Well, it took long enough, I suppose. I'm sorry it took me so long, but I had to do a lot of shopping this week. I've got a dance on Friday and am massively excited. I got these really cute shoes that I'm totally in love with at the moment.**

**ANYWAY, in come the calvary...you'll see.**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

"Wake up." Someone shook my shoulder. She sounded frightened. "Addy, please, wake up."

I opened my eyes. They felt thick and heavy. "What?"

Lotta sighed with relief. "You look really bad."

I felt as bad I looked. My right arm was sore and bruised from the dull end of a soldier's sword. My head pounded and my legs ached.

I remembered young Lord Farren's family up at the top of the tower. I scrambled up the steps, then paused at the top.

The noblewoman was dead. The blood had drained from her skin and she was a pasty white color. Her children were curled up around her sleeping. The little boy whimpered in his sleep and clung to his mother's arm.

Lotta came up behind me and saw the children. She rested her hand on my shoulder. "About dawn, royal soldiers rode in. The young lord was with them. He had told, Addy. They knew about the slaves."

"There wasn't a point to the escape then." I realized. "They died for nothing."

"Addy-" Lotta began.

I felt a hot rush of fury. "Curse all! Just fits that such would happen!"

"Hush." Lotta tried to soothe me. "It wasn't fair, but you can't change it."

I was afraid to ask how many of our crew had survived the night. I did not want to know the answer. The children began to stir, woken by my angry voice. They looked up at us, lost and disorientated.

Lotta picked up the boy, setting him on her hip. "Your brother's lookin' for you. Do you want to see him?"

"Farren?" The older girl perked up. She turned to her mother. "Mama?"

"I'll take care of your mama." I tried to keep them from knowing that she had gone.

"Mama!" Cecilia pulled at her mother's shoulder. She stared at me, shock in her eyes.

"Your mama went to the Black God." Lotta told the girls. "She's not sick anymore."

"No!" The older girl sobbed, tears running down her face. She threw herself at her mother.

Lotta turned to me and began to whisper. "The soldiers know that we have a mage. They saw your magic when you killed the mage. They're looking for you. You should hide."

I shrugged. "I'll help you get the children to the young lord."

"I wasn't jesting!" Lotta retorted hotly. "You killed a noble! You could be killed. I want you to hide!"

"I will." I answered only to pacify her. I turned to the girls. "Your mama's gone and it hurts, but right now, we need to take you to your brother. He can take care of you."

Cecilia nodded through her tears, but her older sister was incoherent. I picked her up, holding the girl in my arms and gesturing to Cecilia to follow me.

"Emmy, it's alright." Cecilia patted her sister's head.

At the base of the tower, I paused to get a better grip on the girl. Emmy fought against me at first, but I didn't let her run back to her mother. She sniffled, but gained control when her younger sister put an arm around her.

Before we could reach the castle, we met a group of six soldiers on horseback. They stopped when they saw us. We looked to the ground, as was habit when we were in the presence of those better than us.

"You should be at the castle." A stern soldier stared down at us.

"Forgive us, sir," Lotta began.

"Are those the children?" Another soldier asked me.

I nodded and set Emmy down. "Yes, sir."

"Take them to their brother." The stern soldier ordered the other four. "We'll escort the woman back to the castle."

Lotta looked at me with alarm. She wanted me to run. I don't know what I wanted. A part of me wanted to run, but the other part was too weary to care.

"Give me the child." A soldier reached down for the little boy, smiling kindly. Lotta handed him up. I lifted Emmy and Cecilia up to the soldiers.

Lotta shoved me and I ran. I dodged around trees, counting on my agility to counter their horses' speed. I had a knowledge of the land, as well, while they did not know the inclines and ditches. Besides, I was fast.

I let the fear of being caught and punished for killing the mage drive myself forward. If I could reach the cave, then I would be safe. It was hard to see, even from a close distance. They would not find me.

One of the soldiers drew his horse in front of me and I had to stop quickly to avoid being trampled. I slid in the dirt, but didn't fall. I kept running and thought I would make it.

A hard force hit my back and forced me to the ground. I didn't have time to cry out as I struck the ground. A soldier had jumped from his horse and tackled me to the ground.

I lay still, stunned and the wind knocked from my chest. The soldier got off me, but rolled me over and tied my hands together. I struggled for breath.

"Why did you run?" The stern soldier dismounted and yanked me up.

I shook my head, unable to answer.

"Take her to the castle." The stern soldier hobbled my legs so I wouldn't be able to run. "Tell them to give her special attention."

The soldier who had tackled me saluted. He mounted his horse and tied the rope from my bound wrists to his saddle.

As we joined with Lotta on the path, she winced and touched my arm. I tried to tell her that I would be fine, but my swelling tongue got in the way. I tried to smile, but that just stung my lip.

"I'm sorry." Lotta whispered. "I thought you could get away."

I nodded in response.

The children and four of the soldiers rode around on the path, but we walked between the other two soldiers. Lotta and me probably could have run back to the castle, but we were not eager to reach it.

The field before the castle was full of slaves. Groups of soldiers stood around, keeping an eye on their prisoners. The wounded slaves lay on blankets and healers attended to them. The numbers of slaves that had survived the night were far few than I had hoped for.

The soldiers led me to a tall man with black hair and a long nose. "Master Salmalín, this one tried to run."

The tall man looked at me in a way I didn't like, one that made me feel like he's seeing into my head. He nodded with satisfaction. "She's the one. What is your name?"

I couldn't answer, but looked to Lotta to do the talking for me.

"Her name's Adda, milord." Lotta answered reluctantly.

The man turned his gaze on her. "Can she not speak for herself?"

"Not with her face bashed as it is." Lotta answered, speaking impetuously.

"Oh, right." The man seemed to just notice my swollen lip. "Aron!"

A man stepped forward and raised his hand to my face. I jerked away, but he only touched my lip. The hurt went away in both my lip and my tongue. I wiggled my tongue experimentally. I had never had a healing before.

"Thank you." The tall man, Master Salmalín, thanked the healer. He looked at me again. "Have you been trained for your Gift?"

"No, milord." I stared down at his boots.

"Interesting." The man said curiously. "How did you know how to use it?"

"Just did, milord." I answered.

"Did you mean to kill the mage?"

"Yes, milord."

"Were you able to stop the spell by yourself?"

"No, milord. Someone helped-"

"Did you not have spells against your Gift?"

"They stopped working-"

"Was this the first time you've ever used it?"

I grew angry at his questioning. Was he taunting me? I refused to answer his question and stared at him levelly.

"Ahem." The mage blushed and cleared his throat. "Forgive me. I can get carried away."

"Am I going to be killed for what I did?" I blurted. I'd rather know straight out than have to wonder.

Master Salmalín stared at me and shook his head. "No, of course not. You're free to go."

A soldier cut the bonds on my hands and feet, but I was still stuck on the word 'free'. "How free?"

"Oh, c'mon." Lotta grabbed my arm. "Let's go."

I stared over my shoulder at the mage as I was dragged away.

"Evrett!" Lotta threw herself at her man, drawing my attention from the mage. Evrett hugged her tightly, burying his face in her hair. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I wandered over to the rows of corpses, alarmed at the number of dead. More than half of the slaves lay on the ground. Here and there, I saw the remaining members of my crew that I had not really been close to. I sent a prayer to the gods for them and all others who had died. I resisted the urge to kick Yonny's corpse and settled with spitting on him.

Trom, Mathias and Rolph were not among the dead, to my great relief. I found Trom with the injured. He sat up and greeted me with a weak smile when he saw me.

"We saw your fire from the cave." He grinned at me. "It was brilliant."

I knelt next to him. "Have you seen Rolph or Mathias?"

"Aye, Rolph's well." Trom answered. "I haven't seen Mathias."

"I'm glad you're alright." I told him.

"Same." Trom lay back down on the bedroll. "The healing took something out of me."

"First healing?" I asked with pretended scorn, making Trom laugh. I stood up. "I'll let you rest then."

I wandered and found myself standing before the platform. The six bodies had not been cut down. I pulled the knife from my boot and unsheathed it. I cut Josef down first, letting his weight fall on my shoulders and lowering him down to the platform. I did the same for Lejo, Vince, Saul, and Mathias' woman.

I stopped in front of Karel and sadly looked into his clouded eyes. For a moment, it seemed as if he was just pretending to be dead and would jerk awake to scare me. I quickly cut him down and held him in my lap as I lowered him. I stroked his hair away from his eyes and fought to hold the tears back. I kissed his cold cheek and gently laid him on the hard wood. I straightened out his legs and handless arms.

They looked almost peaceful, lying as if they were sleeping. The morning sun shone down on them, illuminating their faces and making them glow with an unearthly light.

"You didn't die for nothing." I tried to convince them. "Your deaths were meant for something. I don't know what, but I know it's there."

I fell silent. Speaking felt wrong somehow. Death was a time for silence, I decided, and for remembering.

When I finally stood up, my legs were stiff and there was a small crowd standing before the platform. Evrett stood by Lotta's side, supporting Trom. Mathias walked up the platform steps, his child in his arms. He stopped by his woman's side and whispered something that I couldn't hear.

One by one, those in the crowd paid their last respects to the dead. I stood at the heads of my fallen crew, feeling as if I was protecting them from something. When all had left the platform, I looked down at my comrades. I wished I could say something, but I couldn't.

I descended the steps with all the crowd looking on. Mathias handed me a burning stick. "Light it up, Adda. Give them a warrior's funeral."

I nodded and set the platform on fire. The flames licked their bodies at first, then embraced them. The harsh smell of burnt flesh filled the air as the platform burned to the ground.

I didn't leave until the platform was gone completely, although the others began to filter away.

"Adda." Mathias touched my shoulder. "Come away now."

I knew that my eyes were filled with pain. "I just don't understand."

"You don't have to." Mathias put his child in my arms. "This is Jan. He's _my_ son. I'm going to tell him about his mother every single day. He's going to know that his mother died for him and he's going to remember it."

I held the innocent little child and felt a little piece of my heart slide back into place.

"It's going to hurt," Mathias told me. "But you're going to live for them."

He lifted his child from my arms and smiled at the boy as he walked away. Overhead, the ashes floated on the wind, over the treetops and towards the mountains.

* * *

"Here, eat this." Lotta handed me a thick slice of bread and a piece of meat.

I lifted the bread to my mouth and ravenously tore at it. I swallowed it in large pieces. I had not even realized how hungry I was.

"Slow down afore you choke." Lotta called back from over her shoulder as she walked away.

I didn't slow down until I had finished the bread.

"May I speak with you for a moment?" The tall mage walked towards me, his stride full of purpose.

"Yes, milord." I answered, pocketing my apple for later.

"Your Gift is unusually strong." Master Salmalín explained. He began to walk away and I assumed that I was to follow him. "There are few untrained mages with the power that you have. As long as you are untrained, you are a danger to all those around you."

"Where can I go, milord?" I asked, my brow furrowed. I could keep from people, I supposed. I'd be living a very lonely life.

"Go?" The mage looked confused.

"He's not asking you to become a recluse." A short, stocky knight reassured me with a bemused smile. The knight was dressed as a man, but I could tell that she was a woman. It occurred to me that this was the Lioness, the King's Champion. I met her violet eyes with surprise, but jerked my gaze away quickly as if I had felt a jolt. "He's just beating around the bush."

Master Salmalín gave the lady knight a comically wounded look. "As I was saying, you need proper training. I would be pleased to have the opportunity to train you."

I looked at the lady knight, a skeptical look on my face, then back at the mage. "Nobles don't teach slaves, milord."

"You're not a slave." Master Salmalín retorted forcefully.

"We need assets to our kingdom." The Lioness fiddled with the sword strapped to her side. "You would be an asset. In the wrong hands, you could be an enemy."

It was hard to believe that this much fuss could be made about me. "Milord, milady, you've got it wrong. I'm not like you say."

"You deny you've the Gift?" The Lioness asked.

I could not deny it.

"You've got a Gift, and a strong one." Master Salmalín told me. "Will you allow me to train you?"

The Lioness noticed my hesitation. "You don't have to decide now, but you do have to decide soon."

"If I'm a danger," I paused unhappily. "I suppose I have to go with you, milord."

"Excellent." The tall mage rubbed his hands together.

"Can I go then?" I asked.

The mage didn't answer or even appear to hear me, but the Lioness nodded.

I dodged away. As soon as I was out of their sight, I began to run. Legs pumping and arms swinging, I ran through the trees. I took notice of every path and nook, fearing that it would be my last time to see them. When I reached the burned section of the forest, I collapsed to my knees.

I pounded the ground with my fists, furious at the turn that my life had take. When I had tired myself out, I leaned against a charred tree trunk and quieted my breathing.

Fits were for children. Fits were for noble children. I was stronger than that. I knew that I could do what I didn't want to, because it had to be done. I knew better than to let my feelings cloud my common sense. Josef would have shaken his head at me if he had seen the display I had just put on. Karel would have scorned and flailed about in an insulting imitation of me.

I gritted my teeth and forced the thought of them from my mind. I stood up and took the apple from my pocket. I savored the taste. There were no orchards near the fief and when apples were sent it, they weren't given to slaves.

"That's all I am, anyhow." I scowled.

I walked aimlessly through the burned forest. When I had finished my apple, I threw the core. I kicked stumps and stones, skipping over fallen shells of trees.

The sun had sunk low in the sky before I realized that I should be getting back. I ran slowly back to the soldiers' camp, hoping that I wouldn't be in trouble. I walked quietly around the edge of the tents.

"Would she have run away?" Master Salmalín asked.

"She wouldn't have, milord." Lotta didn't sound worried in the least.

"Do you know where she might be?" The mage badgered. "We really need to get going. Could you find her?"

"I can't find her if she doesn't want to be found, sir." Lotta answered with subtle exasperation.

"I'm here." I stepped into their view. "I'm ready, milord. Sorry for the wait. Won't happen again."

"We're leaving in just a few minutes." Master Salmalín answered. "Do you have your things together?"

I shrugged. "Don't really have anything."

"Oh." The mage looked uncomfortable.

"Girl, come here a moment." Rolph called me over.

I looked at the tall mage and he didn't seem to mind, so I walked towards Rolph. Rolph shifted on his feet, also looking uncomfortable.

"I'm leaving." Rolph told me. "I'm going to see if I can find my family. If they need me, or still want me, I'm going to stay with them."

"You've a daughter." I remembered. "I hope you find them."

"So do I, girl." Rolph smiled with the thought.

I looked down and tried to smile. "I'm going with the master mage. He's going to work on my Gift."

"You'll do alright." Rolph awkwardly pulled me into a hug, then ruffled my hair. "Goodbye, girl."

"Goodbye, Rolph." I stubbed the toe of my boot in the dirt as he walked away.

"They're almost ready." Lotta wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "I wish you could stay. She sighed and leaned her head against mine.

"I want to stay." I whispered, trying to keep my words from the ears of any who weren't meant to hear them. I had made up my mind to be stoic, but I wanted at least one person to know how I really felt. "I won't have any crew where I'm going. It'll be strange and lonely. I want to stay."

"Shh." Lotta stroked my hair. "It'll be alright. You'll fix your Gift and come back as soon as you can."

"I will." I promised, gaining control of myself again. I would be fine.

"And you'll still be my baby's aunt." Lotta exclaimed with wet eyes.

I looked at her in speechless shock. My jaw dropped.

"Go on." Lotta pushed me towards the mage, smiling at me. "Go."

"Can you ride?" The mage asked me, holding the reins of a horse.

I shook my head.

"You can ride in the supply wagon then."

I jumped onto the wagon that the mage gestured to and settled down among the sacks of food and bedrolls. Lotta was going to have a baby. I shrugged. Could've figured.

**I'm trying to decide whether or not to continue it, but I'm leaning towards continuing. I figure, you guys seem to like, I like it, and Adda has got a lot of adventure left in her.**


	9. Chapter 9

**So, the nerd in me calculated a way to find the review percentage. I divided the number of hits by the number of reviews and got about 5 percent. That doesn't sound like much, but Rite of Passage has the highest review percentage out of all my fanfics. That must mean something, right? It must, because my last update received eighteen reviews, which put me in a VERY good mood. Thanks to all my reviewers.  
**

**By the way, there's a deleted scene from Emperor Mage that Tamora Pierce posted on her website. Google "daine camal deleted" and it will be the first thing on the list. It's pretty good.**

**CHAPTER NINE**

Corus was the most wonderful sight I had ever seen. It was red and gold and blue and black and yellow. There were all kinds of people, rich and poor, all colors and ages. I'd never seen so many people. Shops lined the streets and vendors offered us their goods. Dirty, poorly clothed children ran in between the shops and the buyers.

I saw one child snatching a man's purse and dashing off. The man made a futile grab for the boy, but the child was too fast. I watched amusedly at the man's frustration and the boy's success.

The smells of the baked breads made my mouth water, but I hardly noticed my growling stomach. Barefoot children splashed puddle water up onto their scolding older siblings. Donkeys brayed and dogs barked. My eyes kept darting from one place to another, unable to let anything pass by.

"Overwhelming, isn't it?" The Lioness rode up alongside me, chuckling at my amazement. "I remember the first time...Gods, I'm _old_."

I shrugged. I still had to get used to breathing the same air as a living legend. It was hard to believe that I had met the hero who had traveled to the Roof of the World to bring back the Dominion Jewel.

"I can't wait to take a bath." She sighed and shifted in her saddle. "I smell."

The palace was set on a hill and it caught the afternoon sun. It was beautiful and fierce at the same time. The flags flapped on the turrets and the portcullis began to open. The Lioness rode her proud horse through the gate and the soldiers followed. I lagged behind, hoping to stay unnoticed by the wagon.

Master Salmalín foiled my plan as soon as we reached the courtyard. "Come with me. We have to report to the king." He dismounted and handed the reins to a stable boy.

"Yes, milord." I answered.

"Are we ready?" The Lioness took off her riding gloves and stretched her back as she walked towards us. "Let's get this over with."

I felt a bit of apprehension as I followed the Lioness and Master Salmalín through the palace corridors. I swallowed it away and tried to calm myself. They had said that I wasn't to be punished, but why did I have to report to the king? Why couldn't I just hide somewhere?

"Here we are." The Lioness pushed on a door, passing four guards who stood by the door.

A handsome, well-dressed man sat at a desk. The desk was stacked high with papers and the man stood when he saw us, apparently eager for an excuse to leave his work. "Alanna! Numair! What news?"

"It was like the page said." Master Salmalín informed the king. "Amrold has been keeping slaves on his fief."

"We didn't get there soon enough." Lady Alanna moved a stack of papers and sat on the edge of the desk. "There was a rebellion. The slaves revolted and killed Amrold."

"Saves a trial." The king remarked.

"The fighting was over when we arrived, but we left half of the soldiers with the remaining rebels." Master Salmalín studied his fingernails in the dim light. "Many of the former slaves had been killed."

"Did Amrold have a mage?" The king asked.

"Yes, but so did the slaves." The Lioness nodded towards me. I was half-hiding behind Master Salmalín and he stepped aside so I could be seen.

"This is Adda." Master Salmalín introduced me. "She has the Gift."

I had been waiting for a chance to bow, not wanting to be rude and insult the king. I bowed deeply. "Your majesty."

"Pleasure to meet you." The king inclined his head politely.

"She killed the mage." Lady Alanna began to look through a handful of papers.

The king looked at me again. "Have you been trained for your Gift?"

I shook my head. "Couldn't use it 'cause of the bands, but then they fell off."

"You had magical restraints?" The king questioned curiously.

Master Salmalín nodded when I looked confused.

"They wouldn't just fall off." The king's sharp eyes looked from me to Numair. "Did someone remove them?"

I had a story planned. "One of the other slaves had some of the Gift. He took the bands off for me so I could use mine."

"Liar." The Lioness said dryly. "Just tell the truth. It'll go smoother."

My throat went dry. "I worked hard on them. I made my Gift come out."

The king sighed. "You can trust us. We want to help you and your friends."

I bit my lower lip and stared down at the floor. They wouldn't believe me about the goddess even if I wanted to tell them.

"Jon, what's this?" The Lioness held up a paper with cramped notes on it.

"Nothing for you to worry about." The king took the paper from her and stuffed it into his pocket, turning back to me. "I can see you're not going to tell us."

"She needs training." Master Salmalín told the king. "Her Gift's powerful enough to be a danger and I have the time, now that the war's over."

"That's alright, then." The king nodded.

"Who gets the fief?" The Lioness wondered, tapping her toe against a chair leg.

"Page Farren is the heir." The king thoughtfully peered through the window.

"The lady is dead as well." The Lioness pointed out.

"Really?" The king looked shocked. "They killed her too?"

I shifted slightly on my feet and they looked at me. I looked up a little. "No, your majesty. She was sick. Nobody killed her at all, sir."

"They found her in a watchtower. She had no wounds." The Lioness backed up my story.

"I suppose Page Farren will keep the fief." The king decided. "He will need it to support his family."

"And the slaves?" The Lioness asked.

"How many are left?"

"Fifty survived the insurrection and some were intending to leave." Master Salmalín answered. "I'd say about thirty will be left."

"Can't they stay and work the fief?" The king suggested. "It's the simplest solution. They will be paid and given proper homes. Do you think that would be alright?"

He had addressed me. I struggled to come up with a sufficient answer. "Your majesty, I can't rightly tell what was different from being a slave and what you just said. I don't mean any disrespect, your majesty."

"None taken." The king frowned at Master Salmalín. "She's right."

"No, she isn't." The Lioness argued. "They'll be paid. They weren't paid when they were slaves. Besides, they'll have rights."

"What do you think?" The king asked me.

"It isn't my decision, your majesty." I responded.

"If it was?"

"We could work the land, your majesty. We'd want a large percentage of what we earned. At least fifty percent, for all of us together." I took a deep breath, gaining confidence as I spoke. "We would want real weapons, so nobody could take us again. Your majesty."

The king nodded. "It's reasonable. I'll get to work on it."

"I suppose we're done then?" The Lioness stood impatiently.

"I suppose." The king looked slightly bemused at her impatience.

"Is Daine around?" Master Salmalín began to look hopeful and almost happy.

"I think Sarralyn was giving her trouble." The king began to look down at his papers again. "She might be in your rooms."

Master Salmalín left the room, a lightness in his step. The Lioness followed him, looking over her shoulder at me. "Are you coming?"

I bowed quickly to the king and followed her.

The Lioness handed me over to a thin, reedy women with a tight smile. The woman took me to a storeroom and looked me up and down. She picked out some clothes for me and handed them to me.

I stared down at them. "Thank you, milady."

"Are you being pert?" The woman glared at me. "You'll need boots."

She set a hardly used pair of boots on top of the tall stack and pushed me towards the door. "The public baths are on the door to the left."

"Thank you." I tried to bow to her, but the stack of my new belongings made it difficult. I entered the hallway and went through the door to the left.

Lady Alanna was already reclining in a pool of water, her nose and eyes poking over the surface. A few other women were chatting in the pool, but nobody had ventured near the Lioness.

I set my clothes down on a bench and looked around uncertainly.

An attendant walked up to me. "Can I help you?"

"She's with me." Lady Alanna's mouth emerged from the water, only to reemerge when she had finished speaking.

"Take your clothes off." The attendant offered her arm to me for balance. I leaned against her cautiously, taking off my boots first. They sagged wearily on the tiled floor and my dirt-encrusted clothes soon followed them.

I sunk into the pool quickly, feeling exposed. The water was warm and I let out a breath I hadn't known that I'd been holding. The attendant left soap and towels by the edge and left me alone.

I took the bar of soap into my wet hands, blinking as it slipped out of my grasp and into the water. I caught it before it sunk, but it just popped out again. Finally, I realized that the trick was to hold it loosely enough so that it wouldn't slip. I lathered the soap over my skin like the women on the other side of the pool were doing. Following their lead, I washed my hair and rinsed it in the water.

When I had finished, I climbed out of the pool and wrapped the towel snugly around my shoulders. The room was steamy enough that no one would have noticed the fresh scars on my back.

The attendant showed me to a small changing room and I used the towel to dry off before dressing. The new clothes felt strange on my skin. I hadn't worn a breastband or loincloth before, although some of the women had had them back at the fief. My breeches were baggy around my legs and my shirt was also a bit too large. My tunic hung loosely around my waist. The socks kept my feet warm, although they were scratchy. The new boots were stiff and smooth, even though they had been worked in already.

I turned in the changing stall and started. I touched the mirror in front of me, touched the reflection of my face.

My straight hair hung wet around my face and dripped water onto my back. My eyes were a light brown, the same color as my hair. My skin was a few shades lighter, but still tan from working in the sun. I touched the light sprinkling of freckles on my nose and cheekbones. I almost looked respectable, especially since my new clothes covered most of my scars.

"Much better." The attendant approved when I came out from the changing stall. My old clothes and boots were nowhere to be seen and I didn't miss them.

The Lioness did not look like she wanted to be bothered. I wandered out into the hallway. It was colder than the steamy public bath and I shivered slightly, although I wore more clothes than I had in years. I stuffed my new things into a cotton sack that the attendant offered and carried it with me.

I did not want to get in trouble for wandering, but there was really no point in me staying. The Lioness didn't really want me around anyway and Master Salmalín was off seeing his Daine, whoever she was.

I walked through the corridors, admiring the tapestries that depicted fierce battles and magnificent gatherings. I hadn't ever entered the castle at Fief Dunstable, but I couldn't imagine that it had held anything as fine as this. There were suits of armor lining the walls and I stopped in front of one.

"Rah!" A loud voice startled me and I whirled around.

The goddess stood before me, a mischievous smile on her face. "Sorry, but I couldn't help it."

"Why weren't you there?" I accused. I had a lot to say to this particular goddess. "You said you'd keep an eye out."

"Ah." The goddess cleared her throat, a little embarrassed. "You wouldn't have gone along with it if I'd told you the whole plan to begin with."

"You meant for it to happen the way it did?" I crossed my arms. "You should have just stayed out of it."

"Little girl, do you not understand?" The goddess rolled her eyes at me. "The ones who died were important to you but of little importance to anyone else. They were a necessary sacrifice for a greater cause."

"A greater cause, milady?" My voice rose slightly. "Little importance?"

"Calm yourself, I didn't mean it like that. You are the greater cause. You were of no use to anybody stuck as a slave. You couldn't use your Gift, couldn't train your Gift. Now you can change things, have an effect on the realm. Freedom was the greatest gift that your friends could give you."

I looked down at the floor. "But I didn't want to have an effect. I didn't want anything to change."

"It wasn't up to you." The goddess answered honestly. "I saw your potential first. Sometimes the higher gods let things slip through their fingers." She sounded smug. "The opportunity was too good to let pass. Now I'm looking out for you. Just a word of advice," The goddess hesitated. "Pray to me only. Leave the other gods alone."

"I don't pray." I answered and then thought better of my answer. I might need her help later on, even if she did seem to mess things up. "How do I call on you, milady?"

"I'm called Nadia." The goddess inclined her head. "Call on me whenever you're in a bad situation. I suppose I owe it to you."

She vanished.

The goddess Nadia had said that I had potential. She said I was a greater cause. I squatted on the stone floor, concentrating hard. Mages like Master Salmalín couldn't just bother with anyone and plenty had the Gift. If both the mage and a goddess were bothering with me, then I must have a lot of it.

I reached out my finger and touched a stray thread on the floor. I called for a small piece of my Gift, trying to light the thread on fire.

The thread burst into flames, but a small explosion knocked me back. I smashed into a suit of armor and knocked a few of its pieces to the floor. I wheezed and rolled away from the falling parts. They clanged to the ground with a loud, ringing noise.

"You shouldn't have used your Gift." Master Salmalín smiled at me bemusedly. "You haven't had the proper training."

"I just used a small bit, milord." I ruefully rubbed my ribs. "I broke the armor."

"It's alright." Master Salmalín nudged the pieces against the wall with his foot. "Someone will be around to clean it up."

I got to my feet unsteadily, leaning against the wall for support.

"I was looking for you." Master Salmalín explained. "It's almost time for the noon meal."

"Noon meal?" I raised my eyebrows.

"You haven't been eating correctly." Master Salmalín led me down the hallways and up a flight of stairs. "It's time to stop grieving and time to get your strength up."

"I have been eating correctly, milord." I contradicted. "Slaves don't get noon meals. I'm not even hungry."

"You're not a slave anymore." Master Salmalín argued. "You need to eat."

We entered a large room with steaming tables of food against the wall. The food smelled so good and I really wasn't supposed to argue with nobles anyway.

"Grab a tray." Master Salmalín nodded towards a stack of wooden slabs. I picked one up and followed what he was doing.

I've never seen anyone pile more food on their plate than did Master Salmalín. He was a tall man, but Rolph was almost as tall and he didn't need to eat that much. I only took a few spoonfuls of beans and a piece of bread, but the mage grabbed my tray away from me.

"I said that you needed to eat." He liberally piled food on my plate, dishing me much more than I could eat. After he handed my tray back, I scowled as his retreating back.

He sat at a wooden table next to a pretty, brown-haired woman who held a small child on her lap. She was dressed as simply as I was. He gestured for me to set next to them.

I sat at the table, placing myself a fair enough distance from the mage and his woman.

"He doesn't bite." The woman laughed kindly.

I edged a little closer, scooting my sack along the floor with my foot.

"Daine, this is Adda." Master Salmalín took the baby girl from the woman's lap. "Adda, this is my wife."

"Nice to meet you." The woman extended her hand and I shook it.

"Pleasure, milady." I replied quietly.

"Adda came from Fief Dunstable." Master Salmalín told his wife.

"Oh." The woman's blue-gray eyes lit with an understanding light.

I tried to keep from eating my food too quickly, understanding that I didn't have to. Nobody around me looked like they were in much of a hurry. I ate the vegetables first, savoring the taste in my mouth. The meat was juicy, but I was almost full by the time I started it. I chewed and swallowed the bread almost mechanically.

"You haven't finished." Master Salmalín remarked when I pushed my plate away.

"You shouldn't have served me then." I struggled to keep from snapping. I wished he'd just be mean to me, instead of smothering me with his niceness. "Milord."

"He was just as bad when I was pregnant with Sarra." Mistress Daine laughed. "He doesn't realize that nobody eats as much as him."

"And if I hadn't made you eat extra," Master Salmalín bounced the gurgling baby on his leg. "This pretty girl wouldn't be so strong."

Mistress Daine leaned against her husband tenderly. I was suddenly hit with an image of Lotta, Evrett, and their new baby. Loneliness flooded my mind and I stood.

"Can I go?" I asked. "Please, milord?"

"Of course." Master Salmalín answered, slightly confused as to why I was asking him.

I took my tray to the serving crew and left the room.

I could do this, I tried to convince myself. The hurt from losing my crew would fade. I would start to forget them. They would start to forget me. I could do this.

**Poor Adda. It really does make me sad. She's trying to be so strong, but she doesn't really have anyone to talk to anymore. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Took me long enough to get this out.**

**CHAPTER TEN**

I held the ball of fire in my hand, satisfied with my work.

"It's not good enough." Master Salmalín announced.

His voice distracted me and the gray fire exploded in my face. It didn't harm me, but I felt the warmness lick my face before it disappeared. I sighed. That was the fifth exploding ball of fire in just a half of an hour. Still, I thought I'd made excellent progress. I'd only been in Corus for a week.

"You've got nothing even resembling control." Master Salmalín continued. "The spell I'm going to perform on you will hold your Gift back so that you can learn without hurting yourself." He narrowed his eyes for a moment, then smiled. "Light this tinder on fire."

The previous times that I had used my Gift, the magic flowed from me easily. This time, I was forced to struggle. I sat quietly for almost an hour, trying not to let my mind wander onto more interesting things. Finally I grew bored of the tedious exercise.

"Nothing's happening." I frowned, concentrating on the tinder in front of me.

"You're not trying hard enough." Master Salmalín didn't even look up, but kept flipping through his book.

I gritted my teeth and focused on the tinder, trying to catch it on fire. I would have settled for a tiny amount of smoke, but could not even get that.

"Concentrate." Master Salmalín advised.

Fury boiled up in my veins and I leaped up, knocking back my chair. "Gods curse it, can't you see that's what I'm _doing?_"

To my horror, the book that the mage was reading burst into flames. He flung it away and watched it smolder on the floor. "Not exactly the result I was hoping for." He remarked amiably.

I was in for it. I knelt on the floor. "Milord, I am really very sorry. I didn't mean to lose my temper, milord. I promise that it won't happen again. Please, milord."

He wasn't even looking at me, but still staring at the book. He turned to me quickly and I flinched. His face was eager though, not angry. "Do you think you could do that again? Break through my restraining spell? You were only supposed to be able to make a tiny flame." He looked at me curiously. "What are you doing on the floor?"

I stood, brushing off my knees. "Nothing, milord."

The mage closed his eyes and I felt an odd tickling feeling. He opened his eyes again and looked surprised. "You destroyed my protection completely."

"It was an accident, milord." I shrugged, fairly sure that he would not punish me. The book lay forgotten on the floor.

"It was _excellent_." The mage's eyes sparkled. "Let's try it again."

My mind panicked, searching for an excuse.

A page brought the excuse for me. He handed a note to Master Salmalín, looking at him with awe and fear. The mage read it and looked at me. "The king wants to see us in his private council chamber."

I was relieved for the interruption, but a little apprehensive. I knew it was about; the slave rebellion on the fief was still fresh in everyone's minds. A small and mistrustful part of me was still worried that I was going to be punished for my part in the rebellion.

The council room was small and only filled with a few people. The Lioness sat near King Jonathon and the beautiful queen. A big, pale man sat next to Mistress Daine, chatting amiably with a shorter, bearded man. Young Lord Farren sat quietly to the side. His blue eyes were tired and sad. Their talking ceased when King Jonathon saw us and stood.

"Thank you all for being here. We need to discuss the recent issue of slavery in Fief Dunstable. The lord is currently in training as a page. He came forth on his own and alerted us to the crimes being committed on his fief. I have concluded that Lord Farren should not be punished in any way. Agreed?"

There was an unanimous nod.

The big, pale man stood and nudged a stack of papers to the side. "The next matter to discuss is the fief itself. By the last count, twenty-eight men and women wish to remain on the fief. The other former slaves have been killed in the rebellion or have chosen to return to their homes. I propose that forty-five percent of all profits made on the land and animals of the fief be distributed among those who work it."

"What say you, Page Farren?" King Jonathon asked kindly.

Young Lord Farren stood with a jerky bow. "Your majesty, it's just me and my brother and my sisters now. We don't need very much. We owe them, besides."

King Jonathon quickly looked around the group. He seemed to be satisfied with the nods of approval. "Forty-five percent it is."

Lord Farren sat back down. His eyes met mine, but he quickly pulled them away.

"Do you wish to continue your training, Page Farren?" The pale man questioned the boy.

Lord Farren hesitated. "Who will look after the fief, your grace?"

"Do you have anyone you trust who could do the job?" The pale man, a Duke, frowned.

Young Lord Farren began to shook his head, but bit his lip and turned to me. "Adda? Could one of your crew do it?"

My mind ran through the possibilities. "I'd say Rolph, milord, but he left. Evrett could do it, I suppose. Mathias would be better, but I'm not sure what he's gone and done with himself."

"Mathias?" Lord Farren's forehead crinkled.

I remembered that Lord Farren had left for Corus just before Mathias had been transferred to our crew. "He's smart and fair, milord. They both are."

"Mathias, your Grace." Lord Farren answered the duke. "Evrett, if it can't be Mathias."

"So be it." The Duke nodded and scribbled something down on a piece of paper. He looked towards the king. "Jon, is that it?"

King Jonathon shook his head. "We're trying to find the men who sold slaves to Lord Amrold. If we punish them, we may be able to prevent something like this from ever happening again. Adda, if you don't mind, can you tell us how you become a slave?"

I stood, because it seemed to be the thing to do when speaking in a council. After bowing slightly, I answered the king. "Your majesty, I was eight, I think. I lived in Corus. They smuggled us out in the night. We were all chained up."

"Do you remember the men?" King Jonathon leaned forward.

I shook my head. "No, your majesty. We had sacks over our heads. There were only a couple other children. The rest were men and women and they were all poor, like me. When we got to the fief, the mage looked us over and he saw I had the Gift. He put bands on my wrists, to keep me from using it." I pulled up the cuffs of my sleeves to show them the identical scars on my wrists from the chafing metal.

"Is there anything else you remember?" The king questioned.

I squinted, trying to remember. "I was crying, sir. One of the men knocked me down, but another stopped him afore he did worse. He said that damaged goods didn't sell as well in the market. But he said market funny, like it wasn't really a market..

The short, chubby man frowned. "Jon, the market is a term for a network of smugglers and their buyers. It isn't likely that we'll be able to search out the slavers. I'll give him the word though."

Master Salmalín stroked his chin thoughtfully. "We could find your family. It wouldn't be easy, but-"

"No." I interrupted. "Milord, I don't want that."

Master Salmalín didn't look very surprised and nodded his agreement.

"You have a place with us, as long as Numair is your tutor." King Jonathon reassured me. He looked around the group. "I suppose we're finished here."

"Praise the Gods." Lady Alanna muttered, lifting herself from her seat.

"We've still one more meeting." The Duke reminded her, tucking the stack of papers under his arm.

Lady Alanna groaned.

"You agreed to be King's Champion, if I remember correctly." The Duke pointed out mildly, following the lady from the room.

"I was misled." The Lioness joked.

Lord Farren caught my arm. "Adda?" His small body was trembling with repressed emotion and his lips began to quiver. "I should've told sooner. If I had, then things wouldn't have gone so wrong. It was my fault."

Young Lord Farren looked so sad, his blond hair mussed and his eyes red. I knelt down and hugged him. He let himself cry in my arms, his shuddering sobs short and ragged. I smoothed his hair down. The others left the room, allowing the boy his privacy as he wept.

"My mama taught me about chivalry." Lord Farren pulled away to look at me, his voice bitter and hurt. "I should have listened. Now she won't ever know that I did the right thing. Never."

"Like as not, she's watching for you." I soothed. "She knows."

"Do you really believe that?" Lord Farren asked. "I don't."

There was nothing I could say to take away his pain, so I held him. When he stopped trembling and my tunic began to dry, Lord Farren took a deep breath and wriggled from my hug.

"You alright, then?" I asked.

Lord Farren nodded. "How long will you be in Corus?"

"As long as Master Salmalín wants to teach me." I shrugged.

"He's teaching you?" Lord Farren's jaw dropped. "Can you do anything yet?"

I ruefully shook my head. "I'd better not, not without the mage here. I've got no control."

"Please?" Lord Farren grinned at me, even though his smile was a little watery.

I held out my hand and concentrated on my palm. I felt calmer than I had since the rebellion. A small ball of fire appeared and burned brightly in my hand. I let it grow a little bigger, then blew on it and watched it float in the air.

"Nice." Lord Farren approved. "It's pretty."

I agreed. "Some mages have got flashy colors, like black or violet, but I like my gray."

"I'm glad that you'll be around." The boy told me. "Lord haMinch keeps us busy, but I still might see you."

He gave me one last hug and began to leave the room.

"Wait!" I called to him. "Fief Dunstable should be proud to have you its lord. I know I am."

Lord Farren smiled at me gratefully and left.

I went back to my room. I had learned the corridors well enough to find my way around, as long as someone could show me the way first. I turned the key in the door and pushed it open.

My room was just down the hall from Master Salmalín's. It wasn't as large as most of the nobles' rooms, which I was glad for. I didn't need that much space anyway. My room was as large as my old shack and there was even an indoor privy in a little closet to the side. The bed was in the middle of the room, with the head pushed up against the wall. There was a chest to put my clothes in and a large bearskin rug by the fireplace. I was comfortable enough on the rug, with the blankets piled on top of me.

I slept on the rug because I didn't like the bed. Sleeping on it didn't feel right, because it was raised so high above the ground. I could learn to sleep on it, just as I could learn to do the magic that Master Salmalín taught. None of it felt natural, but nothing did anymore.

**So, Hunchbook said that I should have ended this fanfic after Chapter 8 and made this the chapters I'm adding right now into a sequel. The thing is, the slave rebellion is such a small part of Adda's story. It's just the beginning. I'd end up with 6 fanfics and I think I'd rather make it one big part. **

**Well, you guys are my readers and I thought I'd ask for your advice. Besides, I have no idea what to do.**


	11. Chapter 11

**So this is mainly just a filler chapter, since all the action can't happen all at one time. It's still good though, so enjoy! **

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

I woke up sweating, shaking the thoughts of handless, bloody stumps of arms from my mind. Thankfully, I could see light from under the shutters.

I sat up and stretched lazily. I slept in just my loincloth and breastband, since I didn't have a nightgown. The cold air on my bare skin made me shiver and I hurriedly pulled on my tunic, breeches, wool stockings, and my boots.

The door opened and a young girl came in, her arms full of firewood. She balanced her load awkwardly and the wood spilled onto the floor.

I knelt and helped her pick up the logs, stacking them by the fireplace.

"Thank you, miss." The maid whispered, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. About twelve or thirteen, her brown hair was pulled into two braids and freckles covered her face. "I'm sorry that there was no one to clean your room and start the fires. I just got assigned this morning."

"Don't call me miss. I'm no noble." I told her.

"You're a mage, aren't you?" The girl asked, keeping her eyes averted.

I nodded.

"That's why I didn't want to do your room." The maid bit her lip. "The mistress said that I'd better take it or be out of a job."

"Do you do Master Salmalín's?" I asked.

The girl paled slightly. "No! Anyhow, that job's not good for any but the mistress herself. _She_ says that anyone else would just do a botched job of it but _I_ hear that the mistress fancies Master Salmalín."

I raised my eyebrows and watched as she struck the flint and started the fire. She blew on the flame until it caught hold, then added the smaller sticks. Once the fire had begun to burn steadily, she stood and brushed the ashes from her skirt and apron.

"I've got plenty of rooms to finish before the first bell." The maid turned to leave. "If there's anything you require, miss, I'm here to help."

After she left, I frowned. I didn't like anyone calling me 'miss'. I felt like I was pretending to be something I wasn't.

I used the privy and washed my face and hands. While I was in the privy, I heard a soft knock on the door and hurried to answer it. As I pulled the door open, I realized this was the first time I had anyone had knocked on any door of mine.

Mistress Daine waited outside with a smile. "I thought you'd be up. Would you like a job? If I'm not working, I get cranky. Numair doesn't understand at all, but I thought maybe..."

"Thank you." I nodded gratefully. "Please, mistress, I would love a job."

Mistress Daine smiled at me. "There's really no need to call me mistress. Have you worked with horses before?"

"Sometimes I'd lead a team." I answered, resisting the urge to follow the phrase with 'mistress.' I knew that she wasn't really a noble, but it was a habit.

"Do you want to work in a stable?" Mistress Daine asked.

I shrugged. "I like horses well enough."

"It's hard work." Mistress Daine warned me, then realized the absurdity of her comment. "But I expect you can handle it."

Mistress Daine led me to one of the stables. The horses all lifted their heads and nickered as we entered. Slightly disconcerted, I shifted on my feet and looked around the stable. The floors would wooden, the stalls were sturdy, and a loft above the stalls was filled with straw, hay, and sacks of grain.

"Hello, Stefan." Mistress Daine greeted the old man who walked out of a stall. He grinned shyly in return. "This is Adda. The horses tell me that your new stable hand isn't doing his job. I've brought you another, if you'll take her."

The hostler looked me up and down, judging my suitability. "She'll do, I suppose. Have you worked in a stable before, girl?"

"I can learn, sir." I answered.

The old hostler nodded satisfactory. "I'll put her to work."

"Thank you, Stefan. Have you anything for me to do?" Mistress Daine tied her hair back.

"Dimples has sores." Stefan told her, handing me a pitchfork. "Take a horse from a stall and clean out all the soiled straw, then lay fresh straw down."

I took the pitchfork and walked down to the stall at the end. I grabbed the bridle and lead rope from the hook on the wall and entered the stall, closing the door behind me. I murmured to the horse softly, letting him know where I was, and slipped the bridle over his head. I led him from the stall.

"Tie his lead to that post." Mistress Daine pointed to a post outside of the stable. I did as she directed and tied a smooth knot.

"Aye, she'll do." I heard Stefan tell himself softly.

I cleaned out the stall, emptying the dung and straw into a wheelbarrow. I was glad to be doing manual labor again.

By the time the other stable hand arrived, I was on my fourth stall. Stefan fired him swiftly and without cruelty, though a small smile wisped about the hostler's lips as he watched the hostler proudly stalk from the stable.

"Stable work has to be started early." Stefan told me, his hands traveling over a horse's skin almost too fast to see. "There's always too much to ever get done."

There was another stable hand, a young man who mainly kept to his work but was gentle with the horses. Together we finished the stalls in two hours and turned to Stefan for the next task.

Stefan tossed us each an apple. "Lonnie, feed the horses. Adda-girl, I've got more stalls for you."

I ate the apple as Stefan led me to another stable. This one was nicer than the other one, with fancy engraved plates on each horses' stall.

Stefan followed my gaze and scoffed. "Nobles."

The horses were tall, proud, and handsome. Still, they dunged like every other horse and I had to clean it up.

By then, my stomach was telling my body that it wanted food, but I knew that the apple would hold me over. I was having fun, besides. The horses were sweet, most of them, and Stefan handed me a handful of sugar cubes to treat them with.

The nobles' stable was huge and there were four rows of stalls, with two paths down the middle. I had plenty of stalls to muck and I let the rhythm of the work take over my mind so that I would not think of anything else.

When Stefan took the pitchfork from me, the sun was almost in the middle of the sky. "Take your noon meal. You did good, girl. Come back when you can."

"I have lessons with Master Salmalín." I answered softly. "But I'll try to come, sir."

For the first time in almost nine years, I ate a midday meal. I hadn't eaten breakfast and was particularly hungry.

"I thought you didn't eat a noon meal." Master Salmalín commented. He took one glance at the measly, yet filling portions on my plate and sighed. "When are you going to learn that you're allowed to eat?"

"I don't eat much." I protested, trying to pull my plate away from the spoonful of potatoes. "Master Salmalín, I'm not going to eat that either!"

"Ah, but this is pudding." Master Salmalín balanced his tray on one hand while ladling some creamy mixture into a bowl. "You'll eat pudding."

I sighed with resignation and accepted the bowl he offered. "Thank you, milord."

We joined Mistress Daine and the baby at our usual table. Mistress Daine greeted me. "How was it?"

"I liked it." I answered, toying with my vegetables. "It was good."

"You can't be late to our lessons." Master Salmalín warned me.

I shook my head. "I won't be, milord."

"What did you think of the horses?" Mistress Daine spooned mashed vegetables into Sarralyn's mouth.

I shrugged. "They're well enough. They weren't like the workhorses we had on the fief. Our horses were bigger and thicker."

"How often did you work with them?" Mistress Daine asked curiously.

"During the summer and fall, mostly." I answered. "Winters were too cold and springs were too muddy. Sometimes our crew would plow the fields and we'd use the horses for that."

"Is that what you did?" Master Salmalín wondered. "Plowing?"

I nodded. "All kinds of farming, milord, and we cleared forests, too. We were almost done building a watchtower, but-" My voice trailed off and I became fascinated with my potatoes.

From under my lowered lashes, I could see Master Salmalín and Mistress Daine exchange a look.

Master Salmalín cleared his throat. "Have you tried your pudding?"

I looked up at the mage in surprise. "Not yet."

"Well, do." Master Salmalín told me.

I picked up my spoon and dipped it in the mixture. Tasting it, it was smooth and pleasant. My eyes widened slightly and I took a bigger bite.

"Stop watching her, Numair. Let her eat." Mistress Daine chided.

Master Salmalín kissed his wife's cheek. "Yes, dear."

"It's good." I decided. "The pudding is good. I like it."

We all sat silently, finishing our meal. I ate most of the food on my plate, but really couldn't finish it all. I even left some of the pudding. After Master Salmalín had cleared his plate, he looked up at me.

"I have something new to teach you. I think that this method might help to improve your control."

I barely suppressed a groan.

The mage observed my distaste. "As soon as you gain control, I can start to teach you the interesting spells."

"Yes, milord." I stood, stacking my dishes and reaching for theirs. "I'll take your dishes, if you want."

"Thank you." Mistress Daine handed her tray and plate to me.

As I carried the dishes and trays to the wash basins, I tried hard to think about the wonderfulness of pudding and not the loss of my crew.


	12. Chapter 12

**This chapter is dedicated to Bookflower, which should give her a big hint as to what is going to happen.**

**Chapter 12**

I yawned and sat down on a hay bale. I hadn't been sleeping well at all and waking up early to work was harder than usual.

"Snoozing?" Stefan drawled.

I stood, embarrassed. "Sorry, sir."

"Get on." Stefan handed me the reins to a dun colored horse. She had a murky brown coat and slightly darker legs. Her mane and tail matched the dark markings on her. She was sturdy and tall, with a sensible and calm air about her. "It's time you learned."

I obediently took the reins, but hesitated. "Sir, who's horse is this?"

"Some noble twit who hardly ever comes to see the little lady." Stefan patted the horse's shoulder affectionately. "Up you go."

I clumsily swung my leg over the mare's back and shifted uneasily. "What's her name, then?"

"Silkglove." Stefan snorted. "Nobles."

I patted Silkglove's side, a little more comfortable with the idea of being on a slippery horse's back.

"When you fall, let go of the reins." Stefan advised me. "Keep yourself loose and try not to break anything."

I nudged Silkglove's sides with my feet, a little excited at the chance to ride a horse. She trotted from the barn and into an open pasture. Stefan walked along behind us, a calculating look in his eyes.

I began to feel myself slide off and let go of the reins. I hit the ground hard, forgetting to keep myself loose. I picked myself up slowly, rubbing my elbow.

"Alright?" Stefan had fetched Silkglove for me and handed me her reins.

"Sorry." I whispered, hoisting myself back on.

Stefan nodded, satisfied with my reaction. I clicked to the mare as I had seen other riders do. It appeared to work, as the mare began to trot swiftly around the fence. I bounced like a sack of potatoes, then bounced right off.

This time, Silkglove half-expected me to fall and had stopped as soon as my weight disappeared.

"I'm learning." I looked up at her, enjoying the perspective from the ground. "And you wouldn't know it, but you're a long way up."

"Did your head get knocked?" Stefan called out to me.

"No." I answered, groaning as I got back up. "I'm fine."

I stayed on for longer, almost a minute, before I hit the ground again. I got right back up, not allowing my body to process the pain.

I rode, and fell, and remounted, and fell again. After many repetitions of this painful process, something clicked inside of me and I was riding.

Silkglove and I traveled around the fence a couple times before I felt confident enough to nudge her to go faster. Her stride lengthened and suddenly we were going along very fast. I tried to keep my balance while moving along with Silky's motions. It was hard to do, but riding felt like flying and I didn't want to stop.

When Silky began to breathe heavily, I gently pulled back on the reins. I dismounted and my legs felt like pudding. My grip was weak on the reins. "Come on, then."

Stefan met me at the gate. "You did fair enough. Took you shorter than some."

"Thanks." I rubbed my neck. "I should brush her, right?"

"Her stall's over there." Stefan pointed.

I took Silky into her stall and took the bridle and reins off. I grabbed a comb and rubbed her back in circles. She sighed and lowered her head.

"You're the first I've ever ridden." I told the mare. "In case you couldn't tell. It was nice, though."

My shoulder ached and I switched the comb to my other hand. I had spent almost an hour riding and I was going to be late to my lesson, but I wanted to give Silky a proper thank you.

After I had finished, I gave Silky an apple. She lipped my fingers when she had finished the apple and I petted her head.

I scraped my boots off with a handful of straw before I waved to Stefan and ran from the stable. I had to jog, rushing towards the workroom. One of my hips ached, probably because I'd bruised it. I slowed before I walked into the workroom, wanting to adopt an air of cool nonchalance.

"What happened to you?" Master Salmalín raised his eyebrows.

I caught sight of myself in a scrying mirror. My hair was muddy and tangled, my face was scratched, and I was favoring one of my legs. I answered brightly. "I learned to ride a horse today. It was fun."

"Looks it." Master Salmalín said dryly. "Do you need to see a healer?"

Did healers have nothing better to do than magic away a few bruises? "No, milord. I'm alright."

"Good." He pushed a book towards me. "I don't suppose you can read?"

"No." I opened the book and looked down at the print. The letters looked like scribbles to me.

"It's up to me to teach you." Master Salmalín announced. "This is A. It starts words that...start with A."

"Wait, milord." I frowned. "Why do I have to learn to read? It's not like I've ever needed to before. Only nobles need learn it."

Master Salmalín seemed at a loss for words for a moment. He answered slowly, when he finally came around to it. "Everybody needs to learn to read. It's an important and vital part of communication. What if you wanted to send a letter to your friends?"

I shrugged. "None in my crew can read. I'd just send a messenger."

"What if the message was private?" Master Salmalín shot back.

"I'd go to them myself."

"What if your teacher ordered you to learn?" He asked mildly.

"I'd say 'yes, milord.'" I reached for the book reluctantly. "And I'd learn to read."

"This is A and this is B." Master Salmalín continued as if I hadn't interrupted him.

I struggled through the reading. It was mostly memorizing the letters and their sounds, but it hurt my head and made me even more tired. Finally, the mage allowed me to shut the book.

Master Salmalín was teaching me how to elevate objects when a knock sounded at the door.

"Come in." Master Salmalín called.

"Hello, Numair. Adda." Mistress Daine smiled at us and sat on the edge of the table. "Am I going to be a bother?"

"I don't know." Master Salmalín teased. "Are you?"

"If you wanted me to be." Mistress Daine flirted.

Master Salmalín smiled at his wife. "Where's the baby?"

"Onua has her." Mistress Daine answered.

Master Salmalín nodded and turned back to me. "Adda, try it again. Use your Gift to form a pillow of air underneath the vase."

"So I do it like this?" I asked, letting my Gift slide gently towards the vase. I carefully raised it a few inches from the table, but lost control. The vase went flying towards the floor and I threw myself off my chair, trying to catch it before it smashed. The vase shattered before I reached it and my palm landed on a shard of glass. I stared at the broken and bleeding flesh.

"Not like that." Master Salmalín pulled me up, grasping my arm and inspecting it. "I guess you will have to see that healer after all."

"It's fine." I pulled it back. It stung horribly and I recanted my protest. "Are you sure he won't be too busy?"

"I'll take you." Mistress Daine offered. "Me being here probably distracted you."

"No." I shook my head. "This happens a lot."

I gripped my hand, trying to stop the bleeding as we walked towards the healer's.

"Are you getting dizzy?" Mistress Daine watched me concernedly.

I shook my head. "It just hurts."

"We're almost there." She reassured me. "Stefan told me that you learned to ride."

I nodded. "On Silkglove. She's sweet enough and Stefan says that her owner doesn't give her attention."

Mistress Daine nodded. "I think I know her."

The infirmary was stark white and radiated cleanliness. It was peaceful, but almost too quiet. It made me feel a little uneasy.

"Can I help you?" A plump woman in a robe, her hands folded, entered the main room from one of the side rooms.

"She cut her hand." Mistress Daine answered. "Could you please heal it?"

"Of course. Sit." The woman nodded towards a bed and I sat on the edge. "Have you had a healing before?"

"Once." I shifted nervously.

"Then you know enough to hold still." The healer warned me kindly. "It will hurt."

I held as still as I could, wincing as I felt the flesh and tissue mend themselves.

"You've got some nasty bruises." The healer informed me. "What happened?"

"I fell off a horse." I answered. "A lot. Thank you for my hand."

"It was my pleasure. I can see to your bruises." The healer offered.

I wasn't some noble who needed all their ouches to disappear. Besides, I knew that I had a huge bruise on my back and I didn't want to lift my shirt. I had a feeling that the scars on my back would upset them. "They don't hurt, but thanks."

I stood and we began to leave the infirmary. As we were walking out the door, a white-haired, older noble passed us. One hand was pressed to his heart and his face was pale.

I stared at him, my eyes wide.

"Who was that?" I asked once we were a safe difference from him. I tried to keep my voice steady and calm.

"Who?" Mistress Daine looked back over her shoulder. "Oh, him. That's Burchard of Stone Mountain. Do you know him?"

"No," I scoffed. "What's wrong with him?"

"I think it's heart failure." She answered. "It got worse after his son died in the Chamber of the Ordeal."

I didn't know what the chamber was, but I didn't care either. I knew that man. I'd seen him before. And he wouldn't have to wait for that heart failure to kill him, because I was going to kill the man who raped me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Once again, thanks to all my reviewers. Even if I don't reply, which I usually don't, I appreciate and really take your comments and constructive criticism seriously. I really do love the criticism, because I'm trying to be a better writer and you've obviously got to work for it.  
**

**Chapter Thirteen**

My calves hurt. I was out of breath too, but I kept running. The pasture seemed bigger when you were running around it, but I needed the exercise and the distraction. I didn't want my thoughts to catch up to me. Stefan didn't have any work for me at the moment, but we were going to clean the pages' stable soon.

"You're crazy!" Lonnie yelled. He was another stable hand and always seemed ready to discourage me. "Come and help me, if you're that bored!"

I walked leisurely to him from across the pasture, just to spite him. "You didn't want help a minute ago."

"It was half an _hour_ ago." Lonnie rolled his eyes.

"Stop bickering and get to work." Stefan grumbled. He held the lead of Silkglove and handed her lead to me. "You can ride over there."

"And I have to walk?" Lonnie complained. "You like Adda more than me."

Stefan shrugged. "She complains less."

I used the fence to mount Silky, since my calves were in too much pain for me to want to jump up. I nudged Silky into a trot and quickly passed Lonnie, who was trudging along on foot. He gave me a rude gesture.

The pages stables were empty at first glance. The pages were required to take care of their own mounts and most of them had. One horse was nickering and his eyes rolled back in his head as he reared slightly in his stall. I dismounted, hastily tied Silky's lead to a hook and rushed to the stall.

"Whoa, boy, hush now!" I quickly opened the stall door.

Lord Farren was grappling with an older and bigger boy. Lord Farren's nose was bloody and he was obviously receiving the beating, but he was determined not to give up.

"Hey!" I grabbed the older page's tunic and dragged him away. He turned on me and I shook him.

"I'll take the bugger to Lord haMinch." Lonnie put the page in a headlock. "Hullo, your lordship. Were you having fun? Adda, should I take the other one as well?"

"No." I shook my head. "Just the one."

After Lonnie had taken the page away, I fished a semi-clean rag from my pocket and tossed it to Lord Farren. He looked at it dubiously, but held it to his nose. Noticing my inquisitive gaze, he shook his head. "I really don't want to talk about it."

I shrugged. "That's fine. Is this your horse?"

Lord Farren nodded.

I ran my hands over the horse to calm it, murmuring soothingly. He calmed and lipped at my pockets. I fed him a handful of oats and began to remove his tack and saddle.

"I'm supposed to do that." Lord Farren protested.

"And no one will know, milord." I hung the saddle on its stand outside the stall.

"Don't call me that!" Lord Farren shouted, throwing the bloody rag on the floor. "I'm not your lord anymore! I wish I'd never been a lord! I wish my father had died years ago! I wish I'd never known him! So don't call me your lord! Never!"

He stood with his hands balled into fists, panting heavily and his eyes blazing. He didn't look so much like a little boy anymore. I could, for a moment, see the man that he would become.

"Alright, then." I agreed softly. "I'll call you Farren, if that's what you want."

"Thank you." The fight left Lord Farren and he slumped against the wall of the stall. "I'm going to get punishment work for being late."

"I'm almost done." I brushed Lord Farren's horse rhythmically. "You can leave."

"I don't want to." The boy's nose had stopped bleeding and he washed his face with water from the horse's trough. "You work in the stables?"

"For almost a month." I answered.

"Can you do a lot of magic?" Lord Farren asked curiously.

I shook my head. "I'm not good. I still have no control, but I'm learning to read."

Lord Farren smiled. "Some of the pages didn't know how to read either, before they came. They had to learn too."

"Probably learned faster than me." I finished brushing the horse and covered him with a blanket.

"I guess I don't want to get in that much trouble." Lord Farren stood reluctantly. "I'll see you later."

"See ya." I nodded to him.

Lord Farren turned back around, a determined look in his eyes. "I will get better. I'm going to fight Kendal and I'm going to win. I swear it." He turned back and began to jog up the hill to the palace.

"I believe you." I told him, even though he was already too far away to hear.

I finished up in the stable as soon as I could. Lonnie took his time with the page, of course, and only returned to help finish at the end.

Afterwards, I took Silkglove into one of the pastures. I liked the closeness I felt with the horses that I rode. I'd ridden a couple other horses, to exercise them and to become a better rider, but I liked Silky the most.

We galloped around and I daringly raised my arms above my head as I rode. On our seventh cycle, I noticed a older noblewoman standing by the fence. Her graying hair was pulled back and her soft eyes seemed to be watching me. I slowed Silky and rode up to her.

"Can I help you, milady?" I asked, sliding off and patting Silky's withers.

A wistful smile hung about the lady's mouth. "Silkglove was my husband's horse. He loved to ride her."

I could tell that she had lost her husband from the sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry, milady."

"Don't be." She shook her head, her eyes bright. "You ride well. Have you ever ridden with a saddle?"

"No, milady. Only bareback. I wouldn't want all that leather in between me and the horse."

She nodded understandably. "I used to ride bareback when I was a girl."

I remembered whose horse I had been riding. "Did you want to ride Silkglove, milady? I can get her saddle for you."

"No." The noblewoman shook her head. "I was just...remembering. And I felt guilty for completely neglecting Silkglove. Are you taking good care of her?"

"We all are." I assured you. "Stefan's got horse magic and he keeps her healthy."

"I'm going back into the country." The noblewoman sighed. "I'll take Silkglove, I suppose. Can you have her ready for travel in a week?"

"I'll tell Stefan, milady." I nodded and half-bowed. She inclined her head politely and left.

I wasn't in the mood to ride triumphantly around the pasture after that. It was only fair that Silky go with her owner, but I was a little sad. I walked Silky once around the pasture to cool her down and put her right back into her stall. Lonnie could take care of her from now on. I was done pretending that she was mine.

* * *

I stared at a moth flitting its way around a candlestick. It wanted the light, but every time it got close to it, its wings were singed. It didn't learn either. Moths were stupid.

"You obviously didn't hear a word I just said." Master Salmalín observed ruefully.

I turned to him with bleary eyes.

"So it is a bit late." Master Salmalín admitted. The sun had gone down hours ago. "You can go."

I hesitated. "I heard someone in the stables talking...about curses. They're part of the Gift, right? Or can just anyone do them?"

Master Salmalín's face turned instantly serious. He leaned forward and folded his hands. "Curses are the darkest aspect of the Gift. Decent mages don't use them; decent mages don't want to."

"But decent mages can do them?" I asked, aware that I was jumping on thin ice. "I could?"

I felt the power cracking in the room. "You better not."

"You didn't answer." I held his gaze levelly, even though I was trembling.

"Mithros, Mynoss and Shakith!" Master Salmalín sprung to his feet. "Did you not hear a word I just said?"

I didn't answer. I wanted him to answer my question.

"Curses take a part of your soul! They're murderous and evil!" Master Salmalín began to pace, then whirled around. His eyes reminded me of a hawk's, beady and dark. "Who do you want to curse?"

"I don't want to curse anyone." I answered, but I could see that he didn't believe me. I sighed. "It doesn't matter. He's dead anyway." While the mage was already furious, there was something else I wanted to ask that had been bothering me lately. "Can you bring someone back from the dead?"

"No!" Master Salmalín roared, in a way that told me that it was possible. "It's impossible! Are you insane?"

"No, milord." I shook my head. "Just curious."

"You're curious about the wrong things!" Master Salmalín slammed his fist down on the table. "Do you want to be the kind of mage who brings fear and destruction to the world?"

"It's not like I can heal." I shrugged. "You said my Gift wasn't suited to mending."

Master Salmalín's mouth worked, but no words came out. I knew that I was testing him and that I could get in a lot of trouble, but I wasn't afraid of him anymore. "Gods help you..."

"But they haven't!" I pointed out. "Not really. That's why I have to help myself."

"Curses and raising the dead are forbidden to you." Master Salmalín pointed at me, his voice foreboding. "If you ever try anything of the sort, I would drag you to the deepest crevice in all the realm and leave you there."

I couldn't meet his gaze, just stared down at the table. Maybe I was still a little bit scared of him.

Master Salmalín sighed. "Go to your room."

I didn't wait for him to tell me again. I dodged out, closing the door behind me.

I almost laughed once I was inside my room. Maybe noble children cared when they got sent to their rooms, but I didn't. I was still grateful to have a room to get sent to. And he thought I'd mind this sort of punishment? He could have beaten me. I had scars on my back that proved I didn't mind such punishment.

I realized I _was_ angry and collapsed onto my bed on the floor.

I didn't care that curses were murderous and evil. Rape was evil and the lord of Stone Mountain still got away with it. I doubted that I was his first, either. I didn't want to lose a part of my soul, but that might have been a figure of speech.

Master Salmalín would be no help. He was too smart to believe that my inquiries were innocent. Mistress Daine was even smarter than Master Salmalín. There wasn't anyone else to ask.

I buried my face in the fur rug as the tears began to flow down my face.

I wanted Lotta. She'd set all of this straight.


	14. Chapter 14

**I**** know it's taken me forever to update and I'm sorry for it. To my credit, this is a LONG chapter. Have fun with it.**

**Chapter Fourteen**

My sleep was ruined by someone shaking my shoulder. I jerked up, instinctively grabbing the man's arm and pushing it away from me. When I realized who it was, I quickly let go.

Master Salmalín blinked at me, then began to speak. "Adda, there was an earthquake up north. One of the villages near there took the worst of the damage. The Riders are going to help clean up. They can use you to lift rocks and debris."

I was already pulling on my shirt. "I can do something useful?"

"I should hope so." He sniffed. "I've been teaching you for three months."

I yawned. "But it's all been reading and fundamentals and nothing really useful."

"Now you're going to apply it." Master Salmalín stood. "Pack a small bag."

"Wait!" I stopped him before he left my room. "I can use magic without you being there?"

"No, silly." Master Salmalín smiled at me. "I'm coming along. Someone's got to keep you from starting another earthquake."

I did feel a little foolish. I knew how dangerous my Gift could be. I quickly stuffed my clothes into the bag that Master Salmalín tossed to me. I slipped into my new cloak because it was still chilly in early spring. I hopped down the hallway alongside Master Salmalín as I tugged on my boots.

The sky was still dark and only a hint of light peeked over the palace wall. The Riders in the stables were saddling their horses and checking their equipment. Some were alert, like me, and others were sluggish.

A young stable girl rushed towards us, leading two tall horses. "Sir, miss, these are your horses. Stefan sent 'em."

I mounted up quickly, settling into the saddle with a groan. Stefan had been making me use saddles lately. He said it was all part of my education, but saddles weren't as comfortable as riding bareback.

Master Salmalín looked slightly awkward on his horse and I held back a smile.

"Here." The stable girl held up a saddle bag to me. "Stefan said to give these to you. It's all stuff for the horses, picks and whatnot. Let them graze on the grass, but keep away from anything that isn't grass."

"Thank you." I handed a copper to the girl. It was a small part of the money that I had earned from working in the stables.

The girl grinned satisfactorily. "Thanks, miss. Have a nice trip."

Master Salmalín squeezed his legs together and his horse began to trot. The mage shifted uncomfortably, but soon settled down. "The Riders left less than an hour ago. We won't be able to catch up to them, but we may reach the village by nightfall."

I relaxed and held the reins with one of my hands, letting the other rest by my side. This wasn't so bad. I liked to ride. I caught a glimpse of the scowling mage out of the corner of my eyes and couldn't hold the grin back.

* * *

We reached the village an hour after nightfall. The Riders had set up tents and bedrolls for themselves. They looked comfortable enough, but the headman who greeted us at the rickety village gate offered us rooms in the inn. A mage as powerful as Master Salmalín received royal treatment, even if the village was half-destroyed.

I took Master Salmalín's horse from him and prepared to lead him to the stable, but a boy took both horses from me. He ignored my protests.

A nearby Rider laughed at me, her blue eyes sparkling. "Take advantage of it. You're Salmalín's student, right?"

I nodded.

"You'll get treated well enough." The Rider smiled kindly. "Are you sore from riding?"

I thought about it and shook my head. "I ride a lot. I don't get sore anymore."

"Adda?" Master Salmalín appeared at the doorway impatiently. "They've got a meal for us. Are you coming?"

I reluctantly began to nod.

The Rider saw my hesitation. "Sir, we can take her. We'll feed her and rest her up."

Master Salmalín looked at me and when he saw my eyebrows rise, he nodded his approval. "Thank you, Rider."

The Rider gestured for me to follow her. "I'm Jessa and this is the Twelfth Rider group. We're called Spiderdeath, all cause of an incident that happened before any of us were in the group. You like beans?"

I nodded and Jessa served me up a plate from a pot on the fire.

"New recruit?" A dark-haired man with a nice smile raised his eyebrows teasingly.

"You'll have to talk to Salmalín about that one." Jessa shot back.

I spooned my beans into my mouth, savoring the taste. It had been a while since I'd had rough cooking and I'd missed it. The burned beans tasted like home, to be honest.

"Who cooked these?" Jessa groaned once she tasted the beans. "If it was Ronnie, I swear I'll-"

"It was me." A short woman with blond hair admitted. "Forgot about them. Sorry about it."

Jessa shrugged. "Long as it wasn't Ronnie."

"It's not like the new recruit minded." The dark-haired man indicated my empty plate. "Either that or she's starving."

"I don't mind it." I answered shyly. "I like it."

"Don't tease her." Jessa ordered the dark-haired man. She tossed me a bedroll and took my plate from me. "Bed down wherever you like. I think that tent has room. We'll wake you early."

I spread out the bedroll in the tent and took off my boots before climbing in. I was snug and fell asleep quickly.

* * *

The morning's work was hard. There was rubble to drag away and houses to fix, animals to round up and wood to chop. There seemed to be no end to the work, but I found a spare moment and sought out the headman.

"Have you got anyone with the Gift around here?" I asked the headman curiously.

The headman nodded and pointed to a small cottage. "Fatine Elderberry. She does most of the healing and easy spell work. Why?"

"Just wondering." I shrugged. "Would she mind if I talked to her?"

The headman shook his head. "She's kind enough."

I thanked him and headed to the cottage. I knocked softly on the door frame and peered through the open door.

"Come in." A pretty, plump woman greeted me. She smiled tiredly and she looked as if she hadn't slept in a while. "You're the student, right?"

"Yes." I nodded, watching her return to her worktable.

"Can I help you?" The woman was working with a mortar and pestle, grinding plants and herbs to a fine powder.

"I need to learn a curse." I told her. "Something simple, but workable."

"What would you want this curse to do?" The woman continued grinding the herbs, not looking at me.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "What have you got?"

The witch sighed and set down the pestle. "You've been hurt, haven't you? It seems like killing him will make it better, but it won't. It'll do worse."

"It'll keep him from hurting anyone else again." I was surprised by the ferocity in my voice. I was also a little disturbed by her reading of me. Maybe she was a seer as well. "And it'll get him what he deserves."

"He'll find his own in the Dark God's realm." The woman reminded me. "Vengeance is not intended for mortals."

"Auntie!" A towheaded boy ran from another room and hid behind his aunt's skirts. "Macey's gonna whup me!"

"He's being rude." An older girl, probably my age, stalked in from the other room with a thin switch her hand. "Stole a pie from the Widow Tanner and wouldn't apologize. You wanna do it, Auntie?"

"I wasn't sorry!" The boy yelped as his sister made a grab for him. "The Widow's an old cow and she already whupped me! Auntie, make her stop!"

The witch sighed and took the switch from her niece. She grabbed her nephew by the back of his shirt, beginning to scold. I sneaked out by the back. The hedgewitch would not have given me the curse I wanted, even if I had stayed longer.

Maybe there was something to be learned from it. I had assumed that Master Salmalín was just being prudish. I was a commoner and could do the dirty stuff that nobles didn't want to. If a commoner like me wouldn't teach me, maybe it just wasn't dirty work.

I'd have to get Stone Mountain a different way.

I tried not to think about it as I helped repair a house. After the house had begun to look like a house again, I headed towards the center of town. The villages had set up tables and I was hungry.

I caught sight of Master Salmalín. He looked as if he was looking for someone and he looked absolutely furious. Fear stirred in my stomach.

I turned quickly, praying that he had not seen me. My midday meal would have to wait. I slunk away and ran when I was out of his sight.

A little ways down the path leading to the village, I stopped near a group of people. Five townspeople and the headman were standing around a hole in the ground, talking in low whispers.

"What's going on?" I asked curiously.

The frantic woman wrung her hands as she turned to me. "My baby girl's down there. Climbed in there with two older brats who didn't know what they were doing."

"It's an old mine shaft." The headman explained, his brow furrowed. "Twas all boarded up, but the earthquake knocked things around. Is Master Salmalín near?"

"Yes." I answered reluctantly.

"Someone's got to go down there." Another man told me, winding a rope around his hands. "Your mage can widen the hole without disturbin' the loose dirt."

"I'll go." I offered, reaching out for the rope. "I'll fit through the hole without it being widened."

The headman hesitated.

"The children will be scared." I persuaded. "I can make light."

The headman nodded and handed me the rope. "Go carefully and if you start feeling like somethin' is wrong, yank and we'll pull you back up."

I nodded and took the rope. There was a loop on the end. I climbed into it and fitted it around my waist. I wriggled down through the hole, feet first and was lowered deep into the darkness. Darkness would hide me from the mage who wanted to kill me.

I made light in the palm of my hand and the shadows around the cave danced. I saw three children huddled on the bottom of the pit.

"I see them!" I called up to the men. "I think they're fine!"

I climbed on the broken planks and beams that had once lined the walls of the old mine shaft. The earthquake had knocked them loose, but they had probably slowed the fall of the children and saved their lives.

Once I was on the floor, I climbed out of the rope and tugged on it to let the men know that I had reached the bottom. I was only about fifteen feet down.

"Hey." I whispered, reaching out for the children. "You all alright?"

The three children were covered in dirt from head to toe. The whites of their eyes shone, opened widely in fear.

A boy cleared his throat and pointed to the smallest girl. "She hurt 'er foot."

The young girl whimpered and rubbed her eyes. "I want my mama."

"Let me see your foot." I crawled over to them and carefully felt the girl's ankle. It didn't feel right. It was probably broken. "Your mama's waiting up there for you."

"Is everything all right?" The headman called down to me. "We're ready."

"You first." I lifted the little girl into the sling. "Pull her up! Careful, her foot's hurt."

I guided the girl around the beams until she was lifted high enough to avoid them. I looked down at the other children. "Who's next?"

Suddenly, I felt shaky on my feet. Dirt began to trickle down on me and I turned up to look at it.

"Earthshake!" The boy leaped to his feet and pulled me down.

The girl jutted her chin out determinedly, fear in her eyes. "Thought your mage man said they were over."

I watched the beams nervously. "Me too."

"Ain't so bad." The boy tried to grin. "First one was worse. This one's a baby compared."

The ground fell out from under us and we dropped like stones.

I grabbed for anything solid as we fell, managing to grab hold of a root and the girl. I couldn't hold to the root for long and my shoulder popped from its socket. I yelped and let go.

We rolled further down the hole. Miraculously, the tunnel was not straight down. It was steep, but not so as we would die when we hit the bottom.

Either way, hitting the dirt wall at the bottom hurt. Soil and rubble made a cloud of dust as it settled in around us.

"Where's Dann?" The girl demanded. "Make your light."

I struggled to concentrate and bright grey light filled our hole. Dann was to the side of us, seemingly unconscious.

"He won't wake." The girl patted his cheek repeatedly. "He's breathin' but he won't wake."

"Might be hurt real bad." I told her. "Leave him until he wakes."

The girl obeyed. "Is there a way out?"

"I'm looking." I raised my arm as high as I could. Our end of the tunnel hadn't collapsed, but was a dead end. The tunnel had a sharp incline up ahead and ended with a barricade of beams and rocks. There were spaces between the beams, but not even the boy could have fit between them.

The girl gestured to the walls of our cave. "I seen rocks like them afore. We've got cliffs on the south side of our village. There are rocks like these at the bottom. That means we're in deep. Right?"

I shrugged miserably, trying not to move my shoulder. It was definitely dislocated. "Sounds about right to me."

The girl pulled her legs up to her chest and looked younger than her ten years. "They won't dig us out for hours, even with that mage of yours. It might take days."

The boy began to stir and the girl put all her attention on him. I tried to think. We'd have to get ourselves out.

I leaned against the dirt wall and closed my eyes. I wasn't sure what I could do with my Gift. I didn't want to risk collapsing what little tunnel we had left. I might be able to burn our way out, but the flames would use up oxygen that we needed. I didn't want to burn up the two children, either. _That_ would be hard to explain, although I didn't necessarily need to tell the truth once I had escaped. I could always say that I had lost the children in the cave-in.

I shook my head with bemusement. Maybe my plan might work, but it wouldn't settle with my conscience and I knew it.

"Found a way?" The girl asked hopefully.

"Not yet." I told her. "I'm thinking."

I ran through every possible scenario, aware that we would start to run out of time. There was also the chance that another earthquake would finish what it had started. The stress made it hard to concentrate and I began to panic.

I took deep breaths and let them out slowly. The boy and the girl were whispering to each other and sneaking glances at me.

Time was impossible to tell in the ground. I had no sun to determine the passage of time, just the foreboding silence of the earth.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity, the children crawled towards me.

"Tell us a story." The boy tugged on my arm. "Please?"

"Alright. Once there was a princess and she was locked-"

"No." The boy scoffed. "A real story."

I thought hard. "One of my crew, my friend, was named Saul. He used to be a sailor, before he got taken to be a slave."

"You used to be a slave?" The girl's jaw dropped.

I nodded. "Saul was a pirate, actually. He was nice enough, but he'd played some fierce games before he gave up his old life. Didn't work out for him in the end, 'cause he went to Corus to make an honest livin' and was made a slave."

"What kind of fierce games?" The boy raised his eyebrows. "Thievin', right? And murdering?"

I could corrupt the children, since we wouldn't make it out of here. I leaned in, lowering my tone dramatically. "All that. Womanizing, too. Had a girl in every port. Probably all still waiting for their pirate king to come back. Saul had a whole entire fleet of ships and captains that answered to him alone."

"Is this true?" The girl asked suspiciously.

"Every word." I lied. Saul had been a pirate, but he had not been very successful at all. "One day, Saul was in an awful position. He was marooned on a desert island. Pirate crews are never very reliable."

I waited as patiently as I could, sitting in the dark. I told stories until my throat grew hoarse and dry from the dust. The walls of the tunnel seemed to close in on me and I could tell that the children were on edge as well.

We lay there so long that we almost didn't realize when we became sleepy and light-headed.

"Air's runnin' out." The boy panted slightly, thin rivulets of sweat dripping down his face. "We gotta get outta here or we gonna die."

"Shut it!" The girl snarled. "We ain't gettin' out of here and you whinin' won't make things squat."

"He's right though." I leaned forward, forgetting about my hurt shoulder. I pulled my weight off of it, holding back a cry of pain. "I'm going to burn us out. I was stupid to wait, but I thought that Master Salmalín would get to us."

"You'll cause it to cave." The boy pointed out as I began to crawl.

"If someone's coming down, they'll get burnt up." The girl raised her eyebrows. "You can't burn us out."

"I've got to." I crouched by the other end of the tunnel and wriggled the wooden beams. "I'll go slow."

"Try calling up, just to check." The boy crawled next to me. "Help! We're down here!"

The girl and I joined in, adding our voices as we cried for help. There was no answer.

We fell into a dejected silence, until I gritted my teeth and created a fire in my closed first. "Back off as far as you can and take a deep breath."

The children hastily obeyed and I sent my fire shooting up the tunnel. I slowly burned away the beams, frowning as I tried to keep my fire from producing smoke.

"Dirt's falling!" The girl cried out fearfully. "The tunnel's going to fall in!"

"Get to me now!" I shouted back. "Close to me!"

They scrambled to grab hold of my tunic, pressing their frightened bodies to mine. I crawled upwards as I burned the beams, leaving them smoldering behind me. After about ten feet, the beams and planks became sparse and we were able to maneuver around them.

Our progress was still slow. We were tired and didn't have enough air. We were also afraid of moving too fast and disturbing the walls of the tunnel. The children didn't complain, although their hands slipped on the ground and they skinned themselves on the sharp stones.

The tunnel leveled out and we pulled ourselves to the flat part. I lay on my back, staring up at the beams and dirt above us.

"Don't fall asleep." The girl punched my shoulder, my hurt shoulder. "Wake up! We've got to keep goin'!"

I whimpered with pain and grabbed my shoulder. "I'm coming."

We would have to climb straight upwards. The planks might be loose and we could fall to our deaths after nearly reaching the top.

"Lift me up!" The boy reached for the beams above him. He brushed them with his fingertips, but couldn't a grip on them.

"C'mon." I lifted the boy up, feeling the strain deep in my arms. He squeezed through the hole easily and swung himself up. I helped the girl up as well and they began their climb to the top.

I was bigger than them and although I was still thin, I had a harder time of it. I had to pull myself through and twist to get free. Every time my shoulder got stuck, I had to carefully yank it free and endure the pain that followed. Whining about it wouldn't make a difference to anybody.

"Hurry up!" The girl slipped on a beam, but caught herself. "We must be almost there."

If we were getting closer, the air should have been fresher. The air was still thin and my chest burned with every breath I took. The boy's grip grew weaker and he began to slow down. I caught up to him and kept a close eye on him.

The girl shouted up ahead of us. "You need to start a fire! We're stuck again."

The boy's eyelids fluttered and he faltered. I wrapped my hurt arm around his chest, because I would my good arm for lifting us.

"What's wrong with him?" The girl asked once we had reached her. "Is it the air?"

"I can't burn us out. He'll die." I told the girl. I was beginning to feel dizzy myself.

"We'll all die if not!" The girl answered fiercely. "Burn us out!"

I shook my head angrily. "I told you I can't." I grabbed my magic and shoved it through the wall of debris, blowing pieces everywhere. I held tight to the boy and shielded him.

When the dust and dirt were cleared from the air, I took stock of the situation. We were all cut up from the falling rocks, but none the worse for wear. Better yet, the air smelled fresher and we could breathe easier.

"You did it!" The girl hooted excitedly and hurried upwards.

I was careful to choose secure footholds and grips. My Gift was beginning to give me headache, from making light for so long and blasting away the rubble.

"There's another one!" The girl pointed towards a large stone lodged in between roots and boards. "Give it what for!"

I gave it what for, first cracking it and then lifting all the pieces away from us carefully. It was hard to keep control but I didn't want to hurt anyone standing outside the hole.

The moonlight and soft lantern-light shone down on us as we pushed upwards through the soil. The fresh air hit us like a soft breath of life.

Hands reached for us. They took the boy from my arms and pulled the girl and me from the hole. The hands laid us on the ground as a couple women fussed over the children.

I sat up and reached for the canteen that someone offered to me. I drank deeply, clearing the dirt from my throat and coughing when I inhaled some.

"Stupid girl." Master Salmalín knelt next to me. "Do you need a healer?"

I started to shake my head, then nodded. "It's my arm. Hurts real bad."

All of the mage's earlier anger had dissipated completely. I hadn't known that near-death experiences could get me out of trouble.

Master Salmalín suddenly grew stern. "If you're not dying, I've got to speak to you. After you see the healer, come find me."

"No, milord." I disagreed weakly.

"No?" Master Salmalín questioned.

"Well, I've been to the deepest crevice." I avoided his gaze. "It wasn't _that_ bad. Anyways, you can stop using it as a threat. I'm through with curses."

"Are you sure?" The mage raised his eyebrows.

I nodded meekly.

"Alright." Master Salmalín stood. "On our way back to the palace, we might as well make a small detour to Dunstable, if you want."

"Really?" I jerked up and the healer pressed me back down to the ground.

Master Salmalín smiled and nodded.

I smiled and yawned as I settled back onto the ground. I could see my crew again...and Trom.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Look!" I stood in my stirrups and pointed to the watchtower that I had helped to build. "We're almost there!"

"Praise Mithros." Master Salmalín grumbled. He hadn't liked riding all day and it was almost suppertime.

I settled back and eagerly nudged my horse into a fast trot.

Master Salmalín and I had finished our work in the village and started for Dunstable last week. It wasn't really a detour, like the mage had said it was. It was actually very out of the way, but I wasn't about to argue with him.

I slipped my hand in one of my saddlebags and wrapped my fingers around a small, smooth stone. The boy from the tunnel had given it to me shyly, thanking me for helping him get out. It was a nice feeling to know that you had saved someone.

Two women were standing outside the castle, stirring a pot over a fire. They turned to look at us suspiciously when we rode up.

"Is Lotta about?" I asked.

"Who's asking?" One of the woman raised her eyebrows. She looked very skeptical.

"Adda is." I dismounted. "I used to be a slave here. She'll know me."

"You sang at bonfires?" The other woman smiled at me as she remembered. "Lotta's inside the castle. I can go fetch her for you."

"No need." The skeptical woman nodded towards the castle.

Lotta was carrying a basketful of vegetables on her hip as she trudged to the fires. She did not see me at first. When she looked up and saw me, her mouth opened in surprise.

"Addy!" She began to walk quickly towards me, an extra spring in her step.

I quickly tied my reins around a fence post and rushed to meet her. She started to hug me, but the basket, her pregnant belly, and my hurt shoulder got in the way. We laughed and Lotta set the basket down on a table before throwing her arms around me.

"What happened to your arm?" Lotta asked. "Where have you been? What are they teaching you?"

"I've been living at the palace in Corus." I answered. "It's grand and Master Salmalín's been teaching me all sorts of stuff. How's the baby?"

"I think it's healthy." Lotta smiled proudly, resting her hand on her stomach.

"Growing that much, how could it not be?" I asked with a straight face.

Lotta swatted me. "I'll thank you to keep your tongue in your mouth!"

I grinned cheekily and rested my head on her shoulder. "How's Evrett?"

"He likes having his own land." Lotta told me. "So does Trom."

"Are they plowing?" I asked.

"Almost. They're just finishing clearing." Lotta turned to look up at Master Salmalín. "Forgive me, milord. Are you planning to stay for very long? I can fix you a room in the castle."

"Yes, please." Master Salmalín nodded thankfully.

"He gets tired when he travels." I held his reins for him as he dismounted. "I'll take care of your horse."

"Thank you, Adda." Master Salmalín followed Lotta into the castle.

I figured that I could put the horses in the stable. I had never been in it before. The overseers had brought us the workhorses when we had needed them. It was well-made, but only a quarter of the stalls held horses.

"I guess you get the pick of the inn." I told the horses, who seemed more interested in the bins of feed than in the stalls.

I put fresh hay in two of the stalls and groomed the horses as they ate.

"Horsie."

I jumped, startled by the voice which seemingly came from nowhere. I turned and saw Mathias' boy standing in between the stalls.

"Pretty horsie." The boy repeated, pointing a grubby finger at Master Salmalín's horse.

"Jan!" That was Mathias and he sounded exasperated. "What have I told you about being alone in the stable?"

"Not alone!" The boy set his fists on his hips indignantly. "Horsies!"

"It's my fault." I told Mathias, who hadn't seen me yet. I stepped out from behind the horse and into his line of sight. "He probably heard me."

Mathias gave me a long double take and slowly smiled. "Hey there. When'd you get here?"

"Just a bit ago." I answered.

"We all thought we'd lost you to Corus forever." Mathias clapped my good shoulder. "It's good to see you again."

"Same." I smiled at him. My face was almost beginning to hurt from all the smiling I'd done lately.

"Well, come to dinner." Mathias gestured. "I know a certain young man who will have an apoplexy when he sees you."

"Trom?" I left the stall, patting the horse one last time.

"Who else?" Mathias teased. "If that boy was a tree, he'd be a pine."

"That's a bad joke." I told him, but I began to walk faster.

Jan was walking slowly, pausing every couple seconds to pick up some sort of rock or flower. Mathias saw my eagerness and put his son on his shoulders. He began to run, Jan bouncing and giggling.

"I see you haven't been lazy." Mathias noted, seeing me keep up without losing a breath.

I shrugged, wincing because I had forgotten about my shoulder. "Course not."

Two long tables had been set up outside the castle on the field of grass near the fires and the pot of stew. About thirty former slaves were milling about, either helping to serve or finding spots at the wooden tables. Six children were chasing each other around the tables, getting in the way of everyone else.

"Adda!" I saw Trom, waving as he ran me.

I barely had time to prepare myself for Trom's crushing hug before it came. I laughed into his chest, enjoying the rumble sounds as he talked.

"Just look at you! You look like a noble." Trom pushed me away so he could look at me, then pulled me back in. "And you've hurt yourself."

"And now you've hurt it worse." I muttered quietly so that he wouldn't hear and stop hugging me.

When Trom finally let me go, he kept his arm around my good shoulder. We started to walk towards the stables. He was limping slightly, but seemed to have recovered well from his leg injury.

"How did you hurt your arm?" Trom grabbed me a bowl and served me up, filling the bowl completely full with the rich stew.

I sighed as I took the bowl from him, accepting the fact that I was destined to be served for the rest of my life. "There was an earthquake and I fell into a mine shaft."

Trom looked at me disbelievingly. "Sure."

"Really." I answered, sitting at a table. "I almost died."

"She saved a couple of kids." Master Salmalín told him, sitting down across from us.

"That," Trom took a bite of stew. "That I can believe."

"Hello, Adda." Evrett carried Lotta's bowl over for her. She rolled her eyes at me behind his back and I grinned.

"Hey, Evrett." I looked up at him. "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"Both." Evrett answered promptly. "You won't catch me off guard, girl."

"You'd better hope it isn't both." Lotta elbowed him sharply. "One's enough."

Evrett beamed at her.

"You can always drop one in the woods." I suggested. "The one you don't want."

Lotta reached over the table and hit my bad shoulder. "That's horrible, Addy!"

"That was mean." I scowled as I rubbed my shoulder.

"You'll live." Lotta shot back.

"So, Master Salmalín," Mathias asked the mage. "How's Adda coming along?"

Master Salmalín finished chewing. "She's doing well. It's been challenging, but she can do quite a bit now. She's made an extraordinary amount of progress."

"He just means that I don't lose control anymore." I told them. "I used to blow things up 'cause I couldn't concentrate."

"Well, the control..." Master Salmalín agreed. "Other than that, you do learn very fast."

"Thanks." I ducked my head, shyly accepting the compliment.

"How long are you staying?" Mathias wondered.

"We can stay for a couple days." Master Salmalín decided.

"What about Daine?" I questioned. "You've already been away for more than a week. She's got the baby."

"Daine can manage. She's got Kitten to help." Master Salmalín smiled bemusedly. "You'd think you didn't want to stay."

"No, I want to stay." I corrected.

A boy with dark eyes and scraped knees wriggled away from his caretaker and rant o Trom. "Can we play the ball game now?"

"Yah!" A girl skipped up to him, holding a leather ball about as big as her head.

"Let him finish." Evrett told the children, who wilted disappointedly.

"It's alright. I'm done." Trom scooped up the last bit of his stew and stood. "C'mon, Adda."

I stood also. "What are we doing?"

"It's a game!" The boy shouted, making a grab for the ball. The girl held it above his head.

"I have Adda on my side." Trom told the two children. The four others quickly came to join them. "It's a game of keep-away. They start with the ball."

"We try to get it?" I asked.

Trom nodded. "They're only allowed to tackle us."

"We can pass the ball." The girl informed me. "Or kick it. If you get it, then we have to chase you."

The barefoot children began to run with the ball, passing it back and forth. Trom began to race after them. "C'mon, Adda!"

I followed, quickly catching up to the girl who currently held the ball. She pretending to throw it and I made a grab, but she dropped and kicked it to another boy.

The boy leaped for it, narrowly avoiding Trom's legs. He clutched it to his chest and rolled away, passing it while he was still on the ground.

A redheaded girl shouted loudly, holding out her arms. The blond boy skillfully kicked it to her.

"Where did you find this game?" I asked Trom as we ran side by side.

"We made it up." Trom made a swipe for the ball, but missed. "They needed to learn to play."

I kicked the ball from the air and caught it. "Ha!"

All six children began to yell and ran towards me. I dodged them and tossed the ball to Trom as if it was a hot potato. Three of the children stuck to me like burrs as I chased after Trom.

Trom passed the ball to me and suddenly I was flat on the ground, three children on top of me. I stared up at the sky, trying to figure out how I made it on the ground. The children scampered off with the ball before I caught my breath.

Trom laughed as he offered me a hand. I grabbed it and he lifted me up.

"You could've warned me." I bent over to breathe easier.

"And missed the look on your face?" Trom punched my shoulder lightly and tore after the ball.

I shook my head and ran after him.

The game ended when it got too dark to see. Trom, the children and I trudged back to the others. Someone had started a bonfire and moved the benches around it.

I sat next to Lotta, brushing back my tangled hair. "That was nice."

"I've never see you play like that." Lotta looked sad. "Not even when you were a child."

I shrugged my one good shoulder matter-of-factly. "None of us did. You didn't either. Lotta, are you _crying_?"

"No." Lotta sniffled and quickly wiped her eyes.

"It's the baby." Evrett rubbed his woman's shoulder. "Makes her all weepy."

"How 'bout a song?" I recognized the man who asked me to sing. We had sung together on the previous bonfires.

I grinned at him. "Only if you sing too."

Two men began to pound on the drums to give us a rhythm. The man began to sing and I joined in with the harmony.

I only sang a couple more songs before the children pulled me and Trom up and dragged us around the fire, begging us to dance. We obligingly stomped and kicked up our heels. Lotta stood as if she was going to join us, then made a face and sat back down, rubbing her belly with chagrin.

Most of the others and Master Salmalín had already gone to bed by the time we settled down. Lotta pulled me down to a blanket and Evrett draped quilts on top of us. Trom piled more wood on the fire and Mathias cuddled his son to him.

Lotta wrapped her arms around me and stuck her chin in my hair. "I wish you could stay to see the baby."

"Me too." I relaxed and yawned. "But I'll come back again." I couldn't see Lotta's face but I could tell she was smiling. I closed my eyes. "Course, you're naming her after me."

"Her?" Lotta sounded dubious. "Besides, I'm not naming any child of mine after you."

"Ouch." I winced.

Mathias, Evrett, and Trom were sitting on the benches, leaning towards the fire. They spoke quietly and seriously about the crop and its planting. Trom's eyes were calm and focused and his hair fell over his eyes. He brushed it away absentmindedly and glanced at me.

I pretended that I had been staring at the fire. Lotta poked me hard in the ribs but I kept a straight face until Trom once again engaged himself in the conversation.

"Missed him?" Lotta whispered in my ear.

"Missed you all." I answered as easily as my embarrassed self could.

Lotta laughed. "Good night, Addy."

* * *

"What is it?" I asked curiously. "I can't see."

"Keep your eyes closed." Trom warned. "And step up."

"We're at the shacks." I realized, walking up the stairs. My arms were in front of me, ready to catch myself if I tripped. I felt the large knothole in the third step through my boot. "It's our shack."

"Nice." Trom praised. "See what I've done? You can open your eyes."

I opened my eyes and looked at our shack in amazement. Trom had found some chalk and drawn on every surface. Two windows and a large, detailed fireplace were drawn on the walls.

"I'll be too busy with planting to start it for a while." Trom shrugged. "But I'm going to fix it up. I won't have to live in the castle anymore. I just thought..."

He looked uncertain and I cocked my head at him. "Thought what?"

"Well, I thought I'd ask your permission." Trom asked hurriedly. "Before I started cutting on it."

"It's yours as much as mine." I told him, rubbing my healed and stiff shoulder.

"Not only." Trom admitted. "I think we both know it's more yours."

There was nothing I could say to something I couldn't understand. "It's fine with me. You could check with Lotta."

"I don't need to." He answered with a smile. "Thanks, Adda."

I walked around the shack slowly, trying to imagine what it would be like without the dust, the old boards and the cobwebs.

"It'll need a lot of work." Trom explained. "I can't start it yet, not until after we've planted. See, Mathias is going to help me. I'm going to help him to make his own place too."

"It'll look nice." I decided. "Leave me a spot for a bedroll when I visit."

"Will do." Trom agreed.

"Right there." I pointed to a spot near the fireplace.

As I pointed, my sleeve slid down my arm and revealed my wrist. Trom caught my wrist and looked at the smooth scar left there.

"From your bands?" He asked.

"Yah." I nodded. "I kind of miss them. They were on for a long time."

"I suppose I'll get used to these." Trom pulled up his shirtsleeves. His arms were speckled with light scars from the dog bites.

"They aren't that bad." I looked the scars over. "What about your leg?"

"It's worse. The healer said it will fade." Trom didn't offer to show his leg and I didn't ask.

"The night we were whipped." I almost laughed, just remembering. "We were brought back here."

"There's a bloodstain." Trom pointed on the floor. "I was going to take it off."

"Your blood or my blood?" I wondered.

"I don't know." Trom looked down at the stair.

"Mine healed up pretty nice." I pulled up the edge of Trom's shirt to look at his scars. I traced them lightly with my finger, feeling the slightly raised surface. Trom jerked away.

"Sorry." I apologized. "Do they still hurt?"

"No." Trom shook his head. "They ache sometimes, when it rains."

"Mine too." I told him.

Trom slowly lifted the edge of my shirt to look at my scars. I could feel his warm breath on my back. I shivered as he turned me around and softly kissed me.

I kissed back, enjoying the feel of his lips. The kiss deepened and our breath quickened.

"Are you fine with this?" Trom's voice was unusually deep.

I began to take off my shirt. "Don't stop."

Trom ran his hands up the backs of my legs and helped me pull my shirt over my head. I linked my hands behind his neck and leaned into him.

Trom's hands began to fumble at the ties of my breeches. I felt extremely scared all of a sudden and pulled away. "Trom, I'm sorry."

"I know." Trom smiled crookedly. "It's alright." He handed me my shirt. I slipped back into it, appreciating his lowered eyes.

"I just..." I felt a pressing need to explain myself. "It's not that I don't want to. I'm not sure I'm ready. I just don't know."

"You don't have to explain." Trom cleared his throat. "I understand."

"Thank you." I whispered.

Trom didn't answer, just took a deep breath and let it out slowly. There was an awkward silence. Both of us just stood in the shack, trying not to look at each other.

"I don't want to leave." I shoved my hands into my pockets, breaking the silence. "I wish I didn't have to."

"Me too." Trom held out his hand formally. "I'll see you then?"

I shook his hand, suddenly laughing. I hugged him quickly and backed out of the doorway. "I'll see you, Trom."

Master Salmalín was sitting at the tables by the castle, finishing his breakfast. Lotta was leaning against the table, sadly watching me approach.

"Are you ready?" Master Salmalín stood and wiped his mouth on his napkin.

"Yes." I nodded and turned to Lotta.

Lotta's chin went up and she hid her sadness behind a bright smile. "Don't forget about the baby. I'm expecting a really good gift."

"Oh, I'll be sure to get you something." I shrugged carelessly. "If I've got the time."

"Don't bother coming back if you don't bring something." Lotta warned. "I mean it."

"I know." I grinned at her. "It'll be the best."

"I brought your horses." One of the girls led our horses to us, proudly handing the reins to Master Salmalín. "All their things are in the bags."

"Thank you." Master Salmalín slipped her a piece of candy. "You did well."

The girl smiled and skipped away, sucking on the candy.

Lotta hugged me tightly, then broke away. "Good luck."

"You too. I've heard childbirth is painful and-" I mounted before Lotta could hit me. "See you."

"Sassy." Lotta muttered as we left.

"Wait! Hold up!" The seven children shouted and began to run towards us. Our horses started, but calmed quickly when I hushed them.

"We didn't mean to scare the horses." A boy held up his hands. He was the oldest and often became the spokesperson for the group.

"We just wanted to say goodbye." The girl sucking the candy added. Jan nodded his agreement, his eyes glued to the candy. The girl sighed and broke him off a piece.

"And to say-" The oldest boy hesitated. "We never got to see any of your magic."

I looked at Master Salmalín. "Can I?"

He smiled and shrugged. "I'll help you keep control. Nothing too strenuous-"

I shot shimmery, colorful lights into the sky. The lights burst twenty feet above our heads and the light fragments sprinkled into the grass like powder before disappearing.

The children cheered loudly and clapped, spinning around on the grass in their bare feet.

"And now you'll have a headache." The mage commented as we rode off.

"No I won't." I retorted. "You know it, too. I've Gift left enough for spidrens, bandits, earthquakes, and whatever the gods decided to throw at us."

"Show-off." Master Salmalín shook his head disgustedly.

I settled back into my saddle with satisfaction.

**So...not to hint or anything, but review counts are dropping. Sure, it's only a slight decrease, but my job as a writer is to make sure that my readers are satisfied. I take it seriously. Criticisms or suggestions are more than welcome.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I absolutely loved the amount of reviews I received for my last chapter! Thank you to all of my reviewers.**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Within minutes, I was hopelessly stuck.

I leaned against the wall and tried to swallow the lump of shame that had lodged itself in my throat.

"Adda?" Daine called, seeing my unmoving figure through the screen. "Do you need help?"

She would see my scars, I realized. I was still stuck. There was nothing else to do, but accept her help. "Please."

Daine moved the edge of the screen aside and turned me around. I heard her sharp intake of breath when she saw the whip marks, but she quickly masked her shock. "See, there was just a hook that you forgot to take out. It will slide on easier now. Arms through..."

I slid into the gown, feeling the strange tightness that my clothing usually didn't have. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable, just new.

Daine swiftly hooked up the back of my gown, her fingers stumblingly slightly. "I supposed I don't have as much practice at this as I should."

"Thank you." I pulled away as soon as she was down and looked down at the wide skirt. "I can wear boots, right?"

Daine laughed and lifted the edge of her gown. "I always do. Those pretty shoes aren't worth the risk of turning an ankle."

I had been given a second pair of boots, a nicer pair that Master Salmalín had told me to wear to special occasions. I put them on now, admiring the dark, glossy finish.

"Come, look at yourself." Daine tugged me over to a mirror.

My solemn brown eyes stared back at myself, observing my reflection.

Daine sighed. "Give yourself a smile, at least."

I looked at her in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Look at yourself." Daine explained. "Can't you see it?"

I looked at myself again, trying to see it. After struggling for a moment, I turned back to her. "I don't know what you mean."

"You're beautiful." Daine turned my face to the mirror. "Look."

I really concentrated and began to see what she meant. I was slender, for all my muscles, and my skin had a pretty color to it. My face was a nice enough shape. I liked my eyes and the slant of my eyebrows. "I'm no queen."

"No one is." Daine laughed softly, and a little sadly. "Hasn't anyone ever told you that you were pretty?"

I thought about it. "No. We didn't say stuff like that."

"Well, you are." Daine smoothed my pale green, flowing skirt. "Do you want me to tie back your hair?"

"Yes, please." I sat on a chair so that she could reach my head easier.

Daine brushed half of my hair back and clipped it back with something small and delicate.

"I'll take care of it." I promised.

"This?" Daine asked. "I know you will. Kitten, can you whistle her hair to stay?"

Kitten lazily whistled and I felt my loose hairs spring into place.

"Thanks." I nodded towards the young dragon.

"There." Daine looked me up and down. "Are you ready?"

I nodded.

We met Master Salmalín in the larger of the four rooms. He held Sarralyn in one arm and was fumbling through a scroll with the other. He straightened up when he saw us and smiled at Daine as if there was no one else in the room.

Daine blushed pink and pretended not to see. She took their baby from him and tugged at the baby's simple gown.

Kitten opened the door and impatiently waited for us to leave.

Master Salmalín and Daine knew the ways into the ballroom that would allow us to slip in without attracting attention. I was glad for it. We entered the ballroom and blended into the large crowd of people.

After almost five months at the palace, I was still taken by surprise at the variety of colors. There were soft colors, pinks and purples and blues, and bolder colors, rich golds and deep blues and crimsons. The swirling colors on the dance floor were mesmerizing.

"Daine!" King Jonathon wove his way through the mass of people, who parted for him as he passed. "I need to borrow Numair, if you don't mind."

"Course not." Daine smiled at the king.

The king nodded, then turned to me. "It's nice to see you again, Adda. How are your lessons going?"

"Good, your majesty." I tried to hold my head high. "I like them."

"She's doing quite well." Master Salmalín praised. "She's progressing faster than I had assumed she might."

"Keep up the good work." King Jonathon bowed slightly to me, then turned before he saw my slightly shaky bow-turned-curtsy.

I didn't know how to dance, not like the nobles were doing it. Their dancing looked more complicated and intricate, but a lot more stiff. Anyway, I couldn't do it and didn't want to embarrass myself by trying. I sat down on a chair where I could watch the proceedings without actually participating.

"It just isn't fair." Two girls sat next to me, mournfully staring into the crowd of people. The girl who had spoken wore a deep blue gown that matched the shade of her eyes and set off her black hair and ivory skin. I realized that she must be one of the king's daughters.

"No, it's not." The other girl agreed with the princess. She was nowhere near as beautiful, but wasn't homely either.

"He'll ask everyone to dance but me." The princess sighed and folded her hands in her lap.

The other girl sighed and glared at the offending male. After a moment of searching, I picked him out of the crowd. He was pretty for a boy, but manly enough to be attractive. He didn't seem to notice their gazes, but continued dancing.

"Who is he?" I asked without thinking. I looked away when they looked at me, knowing that I was intruding on their conversation.

After a pause, the other girl answered. "He's Gavin of Wellam. Who are you?"

"Adda." I answered, feeling the emptiness of no title. "Master Salmalín teaches me."

"Another mage." The other girl snorted and turned away. "Like we need another one of those."

"She didn't mean it like it sounded." The princess hastened to assure me. "I'm Lianne. She's Bella."

"Oh." I nodded, unsure of what to say next.

"You're older, right?" Lianne had a calculating look in her eyes. "Eighteen? Nineteen?"

"Gods help us all." Bella muttered. Smaller than Lianne, she was slightly plump and had glossy brown hair.

"Seventeen, I think." I answered hesitantly.

"Well, then, you could give me advice." Lianne leaned forward. "Not here, though. On the balcony, if you please?"

I stared at Bella, who shrugged. "Might as well."

The princess led me out onto the balcony, Bella following behind. The balcony was small and secluded, with dark green shrubbery in small stone vases. Lianne leaned against the railing, suddenly slightly more reserved.

"Forgive me if I'm being a little..." She searched for the right word.

"Desperate?" Bella supplied.

Lianne kicked her friend lightly. "I just really like him."

I took pity on the girl. "I haven't had much experience, but I know men."

"Thank you." Lianne breathed a sigh of relief. "How do I attract his attention?"

I thought about it. I'd never really had to try to attract attention or even wanted to. On the fief, the ratio of men to women was much different than here in the palace. I frowned. "Who is he again?"

"Gavin. He goes to the university. He studies foreign cultures. He might even be an ambassador." Lianne began to smile slightly.

"All those girls-" I turned to look back in the ballroom. I spoke slowly, trying not to be offensive or insulting. "They seem a bit-"

"Just say it." Bella urged me. "They're airheads."

"She's a student, too." Lianne rolled her eyes. "She thinks she's above all this."

"I wouldn't be here if not for you." Bella scowled. "I could be-"

"Studying." Lianne finished the sentence for her friend. "And it sounds wonderful."

"It would have been." Bella seemed to want the last word and Lianne let her have it, turning her attention to me.

Lianne looked up at me, blue eyes sincere. "What do I have to do?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "What makes you think I've had experience?"

Lianne looked slightly taken aback. "I don't know. You just seem experienced. Not necessarily in love, just...experienced."

Bella cut in. "She's barely sixteen and barely stepped out from the shadow of her older sister. Anything you've got would be helpful."

"If I was more like Kally-" Lianne leaned over the balcony and looked down on the treetops beneath.

"You're not Kally." Bella crossed her arms above her chest.

"I _know_ that. I just _said _that." Lianne answered sharply. "What of it?"

"All I'm saying is that you don't have to try to be her." Bella threw up her arms.

"Better for me she's out of the country." Lianne glumly rested her chin on her fist as she looked over the balcony. "So I'll have more of a chance with Gavin."

"Gavin wouldn't give Kally a second glance." Bella tried to console her friend.

"Then I've got no chance." Lianne slumped even lower. I saw a look of fury quickly cross Bella's face.

"If you want to get his attention, you've got to do something that will get his notice." I realized that I hadn't been exactly clear. "Sometimes men are daft when it comes to girls. They won't see something unless you hit them with it. So hit him."

"She doesn't mean literally." Bella told Lianne quickly. "It's a metaphor."

Lianne gave Bella a look of pure disgust. "I know."

"You should kiss him." I suggested. "That's sure to get his attention."

"I can't." Lianne looked slightly mortified. "I can't just...kiss him. Girls can't just kiss boys. Besides, he'd only laugh at me. I don't think I'd be a good kisser."

She seemed ashamed of her lack of experience, but I couldn't help her. Trom was the only man I'd ever kissed and neither of us were very good at it, however wonderful the kiss felt. Lianne was probably better asking a horse for kissing advice than me.

"I know a stable boy who wouldn't mind teaching you." I offered.

Lianne laughed, then looked at me. "You weren't joking?"

"He'd be happy to help." I thought of Lonnie's flirtatious nature. "I could explain it to him."

"No, thanks." Lianne quickly turned me down. "That's just too..."

"Risky?" Bella filled in the word. "Exciting?"

Lianne glared. "No. Not something a princess should be doing."

"Well," Bella slowly looked at me. "I'll take you up on that offer."

The princess's jaw dropped. "Bella!"

"Relax." Bella soothed. "I haven't got people talking about me like you have. This sort of thing is common at the university. I just want to know what kissing a boy who smells like horses feels like."

Lianne looked as if she was trying to figure out her friend, but quickly gave up. "Adda, does Master Salmalín ever let you free of lessons in the evenings?"

"Depending." I answered. "Sometimes he forgets the time."

"Bella spends a lot of time studying." Lianne bit her lip.

"She doesn't have a lot of friends." Bella explained bluntly. "She was rather quiet until recently."

"And I will stay that way forever unless you let me talk." Lianne interrupted, but both Bella and I caught a glimpse of gratitude in her eyes. "What I was trying to say was that...after your lessons, we could talk or play games or something. Anything that you like to do."

It was the first spoken offer of friendship I'd ever really had since Karel's pleading after he had been knocked into a thick mud puddle. He had promised not to tease me anymore if I helped him up. His lower lip had been trembling and his wide eyes were teary. Somehow, I was reminded of this now.

I smiled softly. "I'd like that."

"Thank you." Lianne beamed.

"Aw." Bella's drawl broke the silence. "Are we going to hug?"

I almost laughed outright at her sarcasm. Lianne looked a little embarrassed.

"Let's not go back in." Bella decided, apparently thinking of Lianne's feelings around Gavin. "We should just stay out here."

"Alright." Lianne smoothed her skirt around her legs as she sat on a bench.

"Annalise of Tremain has a secret lovechild back in Tremain, did you know?" Bella told me in all seriousness. "Scandalous, no?"

**I finally gave Adda some friends. I'm trying not to make them too typical and I tried to develop their personalities. I hope that they aren't annoying, but I think that they are definitely an improvement over the first version of Lianne that I created. Anything would have been an improvement after that creep. So...feedback? **


	17. Chapter 17

**I know it has taken me longer than usual to update and I'm sorry for it. The story just wasn't flowing like usual, so I really struggled with it. Still, I covered some pretty interesting points in this chapter and hopefully you'll get a sense of the upcoming plot.**

**Chapter Seventeen**

I was standing in front of the platform, the way it had been before I had burned it. The six corpses swayed on their ropes, disturbed by a wind that I could not feel. The bodies of my crew were even more ravaged than I had last seen and the image made me sick.

Suddenly, their eyes flew open and they all began to scream with raw voices. I stepped back with cold terror.

"You should have come with us!" Karel screamed at me, eyes red and bloodshot. He reached for me with his bloody stumps of arms. Blood and pus oozed from the infected wounds.

I began to shake.

Josef stepped off of his rope and jumped down to the ground. He stared me in the eyes, only feet from my face. He stepped closer, but I stepped back.

"Adda." He said, his voice torn and scratchy. A trail of blood dripped from the corner of his mouth. "Why did you do it?"

"I know." I whimpered. "It was my fault."

Lejo shouted down at me from his rope. "Are you going to let him get away with it? Kill him, girl! If we deserved what we got, he deserves what you'll give him!"

"Kill him, Adda." Karel ordered me, blue eyes cold.

Above me, Mathias' woman began screaming for her son. Fire began to consume the platform. I looked down at my hands and saw the fire came from the them.

"No." I frantically tried to stop the fire. I looked up at Karel with a panicked gaze. "No!"

"You're killing us, Adda!" Karel screamed. "Murderer!"

"Stop his heart, Adda. Cut his flesh." Lejo was lost in the flames, but his eyes shone through the smoke.

Vince and Saul began a macabre dance, legs jerking and arms flailing. They swung wildly on the ropes and laughed joyfully.

"Remember." Josef stepped back into the flames and exploded, covering me in pieces of burnt flesh and ashes.

I screamed, covering my eyes with my hands and trying not to inhale the smoke. I didn't want to die. The flames burned hot on my body and I tried to step away. My feet tangled in something and I fell, crashing on the hard ground. The flames reached for me with blood red hands and grabbed my arms.

"Adda, wake up!" I knew that commanding voice. That voice didn't belong here. What was it doing here?

I batted away the fiery hands that grasped my arms and crawled backwards away from the platform. The hands persisted and I gave up. I embraced the flames, grabbing on to their hands. They could have me if that's what Josef and the others wanted.

"Numair?" Daine's frightened voice penetrated my own terror and panic.

My eyes opened involuntarily and I realized that I was in my room. I was twisted up in my blanket on the floor, my hands were latched onto Master Salmalín's arms. His face was white and his eyes were clenched shut.

"Adda, let go of him!" Daine dropped to her knees and supported him.

I let go, pushing myself away. Master Salmalín's eyes flew open and he looked at me with an alarmed and apprehensive expression.

"What was that?" He hissed, rubbing his arms where I had touched him.

"I didn't mean..." I stammered, then paused reflectively. "What _did _I do?"

"Are you alright?" Daine seemed to ask both me and her lover. Her hands were entwined in his and she was shaking.

True mages the both of us, we pretended not to hear her question.

"I was inside your nightmare." Master Salmalín informed me.

I instantly felt violated and I spat out a reply. "Why?"

"It wasn't my doing." Master Salmalín raised his eyebrows. "I wouldn't go inside your head if I could help it."

"I didn't do it though." My anger dissipated and I felt very small and vulnerable. I concentrated on unwrapping the blanket from my legs with my shaking hands.

"I think you did." Master Salmalín answered kindly. "And not many can do it, either."

"I still don't know what I did." I gave up on the blanket and just wrapped my hands in it to hide their shaking.

"You brought me inside your head." He explained. "I didn't just hear your thoughts or feel what you were feeling. I was you and I saw and felt as you did."

"How much did you see?" I avoided his eyes and stared down at the floor.

"Just a bit of fire." Master Salmalín replied and looked towards Daine.

If he had see the fire, then the mage had seen the eyes. Besides, he had been stuck in my nightmare longer than I was. There was no telling what he had seen inside my mind and I hated the idea.

"Well, we won't be doing that again." I tried to answer as lightly as possible. I made an attempt to stand, but that rotten blanket was still tangled around me and stumbled.

Daine quickly moved to steady me. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine." I finally loosed myself from the blanket and flung it on the floor. "I'm going to go wash up."

I stepped inside my washroom and shut the door. There was still some water left in the basin and I splashed it on my face. I slumped against the wall, trying to calm myself.

I could hear Daine and Master Salmalín through the door, although they most likely assumed I couldn't.

"The way she was screaming..." Daine whispered. "Was it awful?"

"It was bad." Master Salmalín sounded slightly shaken. "She wouldn't want me to talk about it."

There was silence and I imagined Daine rubbing her nose in his hair, trying to comfort him. Master Salmalín would probably wrap his arm around her, but he would be lost in thought and wouldn't really acknowledge her.

The darkness in the washroom was slightly comforting. I rubbed more water on my face and dried it off with a towel. I leaned against the wall again and breathed slowly, trying to calm my pulse.

"Adda, are you alright?" Master Salmalín knocked on the door, having decided that I'd been quiet long enough. I opened the door and stepped out. Master Salmalín had lit a lamp and the small light filled my room. Daine had left, leaving us alone. Master Salmalín turned to me as I walked past him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" I asked, turning around to look at him. "I had a nightmare. Everyone has nightmares."

It was true. Some of the men on the fief had had nightmares. Lotta had them once in a while. The thing was, I had never had a single one before the escape attempt. I hardly even dreamed before I left the fief.

"Yes," Master Salmalín agreed. "But few have nightmares like the ones you just experienced."

I desperately wanted to change the subject. "What was the thing I did? I brought you into my nightmare, right?"

Master Salmalín frowned slightly. "Yes. Some mages have a particular talent, a unique aspect of their Gift that few others share. I think you might have one."

"What can I do with it?"

"I'll have to do some research." A certain light illuminated Master Salmalín's face and I knew that he would not be going back to bed. "Sometimes circumstances can have an effect on this talent. I assume that your captivity stifled your ability to express yourself in the usual way, so your Gift compensated for the lack."

"I don't have...I can express myself!" I indignantly protested his theory. "Why would that even matter?"

Master Salmalín began to walk towards the door. "Showing me your dream was a way of expressing your fears. You might be able to do other things, but I will need to research this topic further. Will you be alright?" Master Salmalín remembered my fears before he left.

"I'll be fine." I laid back down, watching him reach towards the candle to snuff it out. I stopped him. "Wait! Leave it lit!"

Master Salmalín nodded and shut the door behind him.

* * *

I hadn't fallen back asleep after the nightmare and had gone straight to the stables as soon as the first light peeked into the sky. I engrossed myself in my work and thought only of straw and manure until the sun was high in the sky.

"Have you eaten?" Master Salmalín walked in the stables with a small bag of food.

"I was just finishing up." I set the tack aside and stood. "Do you need me?"

"Yes." Master Salmalín handed me the sack. "And two horses, please."

"Are we going somewhere?" I asked curiously, selecting two horses and grabbing bridles.

"Just a trip down to the lower city." Master Salmalín answered vaguely.

"Did you find out anything about the dream-thing?" I wondered.

"Just bits and pieces." He watched me saddle his horse. "You're getting good at that."

"Thanks." I tightened the cinch. "I've had lots of practice. What bits and pieces?"

"There have been about fifteen mages who have had some form of the ability. Nadia of the Other Land was the first mortal recorded to have this gift." Master Salmalín took the horse from me when I handed him the reins.

That caught my attention. "Nadia?"

"She was something of a queen in her own land. She traveled across the Emerald Ocean to Tortall hundreds of years ago."

"Other Land?" I interrupted. If this Nadia was the goddess who had shown an interest in me, I wanted to know as much as possible about it.

"Not much is known about it." He admitted. "Some say that it is only a myth or that Nadia was a madwoman."

"What do the myths say?" I finished saddling my horse and mounted. I nudged my horse with my knees while opening the sack of food. I wiped my hands on my breeches to clean them, then began to eat.

"The gods walked like men in Other Land. The scholars, philosophers, artists and musicians received their inspiration directly from the gods. The land was a place of learning and knowledge." Master Salmalín sounded envious, then he dragged himself from the myth. "Of course, Nadia might have only been bragging of their abilities."

"But if she wasn't?" I eagerly questioned. "Where would this land be?"

"To my knowledge, nobody has ever traveled to the island or plotted it on a map. It must be to the west somewhere, further than the Copper Isles or the Yamani Islands." Master Salmalín seemed to be directing his horse to the worst slums of the city.

I was silent for the rest of the ride, thinking about what he had said. The Nadia that he spoke about had to be my goddess. We both had the same ability. It was just too much of a coincidence to be left up to fate.

I didn't know whether Nadia had given me the gift I had or she had come to me because I had always had the ability.

"You were born with it. It was chance, really."

I jumped, startling my horse. I quickly patted him to calm him down, then turned to my left. "You were listening?"

"Of course." Nadia rode beside me, on an unnoticeable gray mare. She wasn't invisible, because people moved out of her horse's way. She didn't look like a god, not like the other times when she shone with godly glitter. She was dressed as a noblewoman and her beautiful hair was covered with the hood of her cloak. "I told you that I'd be keeping an eye on you. Your display this morning caught my attention."

"So you knew about it?" I kept an eye on Master Salmalín to make sure that he didn't turn around.

"Yes." Nadia nodded.

"You knew about _everything_?" I gaped. "Me, the slave thing, the escape, Master Salmalín, my gift-"

"No." She shook her head. "After you were born, I recognized your similar ability and claimed you as my own. I had a plan for you. The slavers were unexpected. By the time I realized that you had left Corus, it was too late. I can't do _everything._"

"So you left me?"

"I decided that growing up as a slave wouldn't be the worst thing to ever happen as a person." Nadia smiled at me. "You turned out alright, didn't you?"

"I like it, I suppose." I shrugged.

"I did know how the escape would turn out. It couldn't have happened any other way. I also knew that he would take you as a student."

"Was he part of your first plan?"

"No. He was Arram Draper back then and not half the mage he is now."

Surprised, I glanced at the mage. "Arram Draper?"

"It was his first name. I didn't even know he existed." Nadia mused. "You do know that you were born in wondrous times? You, Salmalín, the Lioness, Weiryn's daughter, the Protector..."

"Surely I can't be put in among them!" I protested. "And who's Weiryn anyway? Tell me, do you still have a plan for me?"

Nadia nodded. "I think this one will go more smoothly than the first plan. I'm giving you my full attention, Adda."

"Is that supposed to be comforting?" I asked, the beginnings of a smile tugging at my lips.

Nadia's laugh soared above the noise of the market and Master Salmalín turned around to look back at us.

"I don't look like a god to him." Nadia told me. "But I'd best be going."

She turned her horse and headed back the way we had come. Master Salmalín slowed down so that I could catch up to him.

"Who were you talking to?" He asked curiously.

"She was asking directions." I lied, casually changing the subject. "Where are we going?"

"We're here." Master Salmalín turned into a courtyard that had no gate.

I looked at the tiny house before me. The courtyard was small and its walls were battered. The house looked as if it had once been nice, but it had been without a handyman for too long. The paint was faded and chipped, the roof in bad need of repair. Young children played in the shadow of the house. They looked up at us when we rode in.

"What is it?" I asked quietly.

"An orphanage." Master Salmalín answered. "It's not an official orphanage because it isn't run by the king, so it receives less funding than other orphanages. It is no less needy."

"What do you want me to do?" I asked curiously.

"Adda, nobody helped you when you were a child. Maybe if someone had helped you, you wouldn't have been on the streets. You wouldn't have become a slave. I'm giving you the chance to change that."

""I've been a slave already. Everything has already happened." I wasn't arguing, just commenting. "It won't make a difference."

"It will to them." Master Salmalín nodded towards the children. "Adda, I want you to spend some time here. There will be plenty for you to do."

I looked at the orphaned children, barefoot and dirty, chins held high to preserve the last scrap of dignity they possessed. I looked at them and saw myself reflected in their guarded eyes.

"I'll do it. I'll help." I told Master Salmalín.

He looked pleased and a little bit relieved. "Alright. We can shorten our lessons so you have more time for this."

"But don't I need to learn control?" I asked. "Before I hurt somebody?"

"You've got control." Master Salmalín held out his hand. "I'll take your horse. I'll come and get you when it's time for your lesson."

I dismounted and handed him the reins. "What do I do?"

"Go in." Master Salmalín left me standing in the courtyard.

I began to walk towards the open doorway of the house. The children stared, stopping their games to watch me walk into the house.

"What do you want?" A sharp faced boy blocked my entry. He was younger, thinner and shorter than me. I could guess his age at around thirteen or near there.

I searched his face before I answered. "I'm here to help."

The boy snorted. "With what?"

"Kane, leave her be." A young woman hurried in from another room and thumped him on the back of the head. She smiled at me wearily, shifting the baby on her hip. "Can I help you?"

"I'm here to help with whatever needs doing." I answered slowly.

"You afraid to work?" The woman asked.

"No'm." I shook my head.

"Course she is." The boy, Kane, scoffed at me. "She's a noble. She'll get tired of her games in a day or two."

"She ain't no noble!" A blond girl with two missing teeth scorned the older boy. "She smells like horses!"

"Kane, Rosie, shut it!" The young woman nudged them towards the back of the room. "I'll welcome any help you're willing to give. Come in, if you please."

I stepped inside the dimly lit room. Three children sat at a large wooden table, scribbling on small pieces of slate.

"I'm Gwen." The woman introduced herself. "I run this madhouse. Do you mind watching the baby while I cook?"

"I don't mind." I answered, holding out my arms for the baby.

"I could do it." Kane scowled at me. "I always do it."

"You get mad when he won't stop crying." Gwen reminded the boy.

Kane's scowl just deepened.

"You can watch the children outside as well." Gwen suggested. "Do you have a name?"

"Adda." I rested the baby on my hip.

"Well, thank you, Adda." Gwen smiled. "For the help."

"I don't mind." I walked outside to watch the other children. I stood near where the children were playing. There were eleven of them playing in the dust.

"Was that your horse?" A small boy tugged at my elbow.

"No, I was just borrowing it." I answered.

"Do you have a horse?" The boy's eyes were wide.

"No." I shook my head. "I work in a stable though."

"Do you get to ride them?" He smiled wistfully.

"When I'm not working." I bounced the baby on my hip and he gurgled.

"Cid, you're it!" A girl tagged the boy and he raced after her.

I watched the children play. They furiously threw themselves into the games they were playing. Some were more competitive than the others and others were cheaters. I'd never really had much to do with children before, other than Farren and Sarralyn, but I realized that they weren't much different from the children back on the fief.

I sat on the doorstep and held the baby on my lap. He grabbed my finger and began to suck on it. I tried to pull it away, because it probably wasn't very clean. The little boy was strong though, and I didn't want to yank. I let him have my finger.

The children played until Gwen called them in for the midday meal. I'd already eaten and I wouldn't want to take their food anyway. They scarce had enough for themselves. I fed the baby while they ate and helped the younger children.

After the meal, Gwen wanted to take advantage of the extra help to bathe the children. It was definitely a two-person job; while Gwen washed the children, I was kept busy hauling new water into the kitchen.

Bathing the children took all afternoon and it was time for Gwen to cook supper when we had finished. I cleaned up the splashed water in the kitchen and emptied the tub into the gutter.

I expected Master Salmalín to come and get me around supper time, but he didn't come. Supper, like the midday meal, was a rushed affair. The children fought over the food and hurried to eat the food they had. Gwen seemed embarrassed, but gave up trying to get them to be polite.

Gwen put the younger children to bed while I washed the dishes. The older children sat at the table to play a sort of gambling game with pebbles and pieces of yarn. Kane mercilessly slaughtered the other players and crowed about it like a rooster. When the other children were ready to quit, Kane begged them not to. They quit anyways, not willing to sacrifice any more of their dignity.

"Do you know any stories?" A freckle-faced girl with red hair turned to me in the middle of the children's conversation.

"No, not really." I answered. I really didn't. I had made up a story when I was trapped underground, but that had been fueled by desperation.

"What would she have to tell stories about?" Kane scoffed. "Nobles never do anything interesting."

"You're a noble?" The redhead eagerly leaned forward. "Have you met the king and the queen?"

"I'm not-" I began to protest.

"What about the Lioness?" A boy looked almost as excited as the girl. "Did you see her sword?"

"I met her once." I admitted.

"What did she say?" The dark haired boy slid his chair back so he could see me better.

"I don't remember exactly." I had only seen the Lioness in passing since she had traveled with me to Corus.

"If I ever met her, I'd remember exactly what she said to me." The redhead sighed dramatically.

"That's cause she's lying." Kane decided. "She's never met the Lioness."

"You said she was a noble." The dark haired boy pointed out.

"She is." Kane answered suspiciously.

The boy smiled. "You said all nobles were spoiled."

"They are." Kane grew even more suspicious.

"Well, to be spoiled would be to meet the Lioness, the king, and everybody in the stories. If she's a noble, and she's spoiled, then she's met the Lioness."

Kane turned an interesting shade of purple, but clamped his mouth shut and wouldn't answer.

The boy smiled satisfactorily and turned back to me. "I'm Johnny. Your name's Adda, right?"

"Right." I nodded.

"You know no stories?" Johnny insisted. "I'm sure you've got some."

"No time for stories." Gwen returned from putting the younger children to bed. "It's time for you to go to bed."

The children put up quite a bit of moaning and complaining, but climbed the stairs. They hushed themselves on their way up, knowing that waking up the sleeping baby would be awful for both parties.

Gwen sighed with relief as she sat down at the table. "I didn't think you'd stay this long."

"My teacher said he'd come and get me." I rested my head on my hand. "He must have gotten sidetracked."

"Well, you can't go out alone now." Gwen warned me. "It's dangerous after dark."

"I know." I sighed. "I'm really _not _a noble."

Gwen laughed. "Well, then, what are you?"

"I'm a stable hand." I answered. "And a mage."

"Really?" Gwen was surprised. "What sort?"

"I don't know." I thought about it. "An all-about sort, I guess."

"Well, mage, I thank you for the help today." Gwen leaned back, tiredly rubbing her forehead.

"I don't think he meant it to be just for today." I told her. "I think my teacher wanted me to help out a lot."

"And you don't mind?" Gwen raised her eyebrows.

"I don't. I like to work, really, and it means less time for reading lessons."

"Any help is welcome." Gwen looked up as the sound of hooves could be heard in the courtyard. "Is that him?"

"I think so." I got up and opened the door. It was Master Salmalín, looking sheepish and apologetic. "Yes. Thank you."

"No, thank you." Gwen waved me out.

"I'm sorry." Master Salmalín began to apologize as soon as I mounted up. "I lost-"

"Track of time." I finished for him. "It's alright. I had fun."

He looked as if he didn't believe me. "You did?"

"It was interesting." I revised. "Amusing."

"You'll go back then?" Master Salmalín asked.

"As long as I can come alone and not have to wait for you." I smiled at him to let him know I was only joking and nudged my horse to a trot so I could beat him back to the palace.


	18. Chapter 18

**There have been a couple comments on my story's lack of direction. I totally agree and hopefully I have corrected the spin that my story has been lately. I finally figured out the general idea of what I want to happen between Midsummer and October. After those few months, I've got an amazing plot planned out. I can't wait, personally, but I'm forcing myself through the next few months. I don't want to skip time, because I think that would be the easy way out and I'm trying to improve as a writer. Anyways... **

**Chapter Eighteen**

I waited outside the courtroom, leaning against the stone wall. When the door opened, I stood up straight to watch who came out.

"Milady, this one's yours?" The court attendant held the shoulder of a downtrodden boy.

"Unfortunately." I answered wryly. I took the boy's shoulder and nodded to the attendant. "Thank you."

The attendant hesitated before returning to the courtroom. "One more time before the court and we won't be able to overlook."

"He won't be back." I replied convincingly, even though I myself did not believe it. I looked down at the boy. "Right, Kane?"

Kane made some sort of affirmative noise and stared fiercely up at us. He was thirteen, but hadn't yet learned how to keep out of trouble. Maybe all boys got into trouble at that age. I wouldn't know, but it had become my duty to rescue Kane from all the trouble he would get himself into. Lately, it had been a bout of run-ins with the court for stealing at the market. Usually, the Provost's Guard would just toss him in the pens for the night, but repeat offenders got special treatment.

"Get your hands off me." Kane shook off my hand.

I let go of him. "Gwen's about ready to whip you."

"She won't do it." Kane stuck his chin out smugly. "They're just trying to scare me. If they were going to send me to the mines, they would have done it before."

"The only reason they haven't is 'cause I've asked a favor of his Majesty." I destroyed Kane's fantasy of invincibility. "And favors run out."

Kane scowled darkly. "I didn't ask for your help."

"No." I agreed. "I probably wouldn't have given it to you. Gwen asked my help. She also asked me to find you a job in the palace."

I hadn't thought it possible, but Kane's face grew darker and angrier. "You didn't!"

I nodded. "You work in the palace cleaners as of now."

Kane pulled his arm back and hit me clean in the gut. I inhaled quickly and grabbed his arm.

"Let me go!" Kane ordered, swinging at me. I held him at arm's length and ignored the hits on my arm.

"I know you're mad!" I tried to calm him half-heartedly. "Gwen-"

"You don't know anything!" Kane pounded my stomach with his fists. I gritted my teeth and clenched my stomach muscles, trying to hold him away from me. "You don't know what it's like!"

"Don't I!" I gently shoved him back. "Stop hitting me!"

Kane's face was red and he angrily threw himself back at me. "Why'd you even come for me?"

"Well, I didn't do it for you, that's for sure." I gripped his arms to keep him from punching me again. "Stop!"

Kane finally gave up, slumping down and jamming his hands into his pockets. "I hate you."

"I don't care." I answered slowly, realizing how true it was. "Gwen's waiting for you back at the house. You should go before she gets madder."

Kane hissed at me and stalked away.

He would either go or he wouldn't. If he ran away, nobody could stop him. I didn't think he would, however. He was rude to everyone, except Gwen. Kane would stay with her, I guessed.

I had spent almost a month helping at the orphanage. Gwen really needed the help. She was overworked, taking care of the children. I had mentioned my work to Bella and Lianne, who became interested and insisted on coming with me a few times. Surprisingly, they had helped almost as much as I had. I hadn't thought a princess would know how to work, but with a mother like the queen, I realized that she couldn't avoid it.

I was late for my lesson with Master Salmalín, but I did not hurry. Remembering the lesson, I even slowed a little bit. Upon learning of my ability, the mage had become almost insufferable. He insisted on learning everything about my ability and running ridiculous tests on me. I felt like an insect poked around by a scholar.

"Adda!" Master Salmalín seemingly came out from nowhere and I scowled. "Hurry, we've got an audience this time."

"A what? Why?" I questioned.

"I allowed scholars from the university to observe the study. The monarchs will be there as well."

I groaned and pulled at my tunic. "You couldn't have warned me?"

Master Salmalín looked repentant for a small moment. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." I followed him reluctantly. "What will I have to do?"

"If you don't mind, they have all agreed to allow you to practice on them." The mage informed me. "They were quite pleased. You don't know how rare your ability is."

"I do, actually. One of fifteen other mages." I answered impertinently.

Master Salmalín smiled at me. "Well, there you are. You don't mind, do you?"

I really did mind. This was all an invasion of my privacy. Besides, it was almost Midsummer and hot and muggy. I wanted to go back to the fief to see Lotta and if her baby had been born yet. "No, sir. I don't mind."

"Thank you, Adda."

The council room was filled with about thirty men and women. They looked at me interestedly when I arrived.

"Hello, Adda." King Jonathon nodded politely to me.

"Sire." I bowed uncertainly. I had grown more comfortable in the presence of kings and queens, but having an audience made me uncomfortable.

"I hope Numair didn't have to drag you away from something." Queen Thayet laughed softly.

"No, your majesty." I whispered back. Master Salmalín prepared to address the gathering. "I was just finishing something up."

"Adda is a dream-sender." Master Salmalín used the phrase experimentally, as if he was testing it out. I had never heard him say 'dream-sender' before, so maybe he had finally found something to call it. "She can send pictures, images, feelings, ideas, and experiences to another person. It is different from mind-reading in that she can't gather thoughts or images from the other person's mind, only share her own. Physical contact is unnecessary, although it enhances the emotions."

"Fascinatingly, Adda did not need to be taught the dream-sending. After it had first manifested itself, she could perform the ability as second nature. This was the case for the other dream-senders, but we do not know why. Perhaps it is because the dream-sending manifests itself after the mages' Gifts have been trained."

I set my elbow on the table and leaned against my arm. I knew it was bad manners, but none of the scholars would've even notice. They were completely focused on Master Salmalín. In fact, their total absorption was a little unnerving.

I needed to find a gift for Lotta's baby. She hadn't been serious when she had ordered me to find her a gift or never return to the fief, but I still wanted to get her something. A baby's birth needed to be something special. I wanted it to be beautiful, but practical at the same time. A cradle would do, but Evrett would take care of that himself. If I could sew well, I would make a quilt. My sewing left something to be desired and any attempt would end with failure.

I almost snorted. I was a mage and I could sew without ever touching a needle and thread. I could use my Gift to fuse together the cloth and secure it. I could even leave dream-bits of calm and peace in the blanket, to keep the baby quiet. Master Salmalín could help me with the parts I didn't know how to do. I acknowledged my own ingeniousness.

Blue was a good color for a quilt. Blue and white would look good together.

An elbow nudged my side and I turned to look at the queen. Amusement in her eyes, she nodded towards Master Salmalín.

He had been talking to me. I cleared my throat, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Master Salmalín. Could you repeat that?"

"Would you mind demonstrating?" Master Salmalín gestured for me to stand. "Send an experience to all of the scholars, if you please."

I stood confidently. This was my secret. Back when the mage and I were still learning about my ability, I had grown tired of sifting through my personal memories to find new ones to show Master Salmalín. I had simply created one, and then another. Master Salmalín was under the impression that I could only show things that I had truly experienced, but he was wrong. It was also a challenge for me, to infuse the false memories with enough detail to be convincing.

I began the process with the intention of sending the memory to every person in the room. I created a field, with tall, wavy grass and a bright sun. I imagined soft heat and a cool wind that carried the sound of chirping birds. Beside me lay Edvin, the imaginary friend that I had invented. He played with a piece of grass, trying to show me how to whistle with it. I picked my own piece and attempted to imitate him. The sound I made was not a whistle, but an explosion of air from my mouth. Edvin and I began to laugh and I ended the false-memory.

The entire room was silent as the scholars stared at me and each other. I looked at Master Salmalín confusedly. "It did work, right?"

Master Salmalín nodded proudly. "Yes, Adda."

"Incredible." Queen Thayet sighed the word amazedly.

One of the scholars leaned forward excitedly. "It was as if I was there! I felt...quite peaceful."

"Could you perhaps do it again?" Another scholar licked her lips eagerly.

Master Salmalín seemed to want me to comply, so I created a memory of complete exhaustion after a hard day's work. It wasn't actually imaginary, since I had felt that immense exhaustion many times back at the fief. I then showed them a false memory of a thunderstorm and the fear I had supposedly felt watching the storm as a child.

"Does this drain your magical reserves?" A scholar questioned.

I began to answer, but Master Salmalín beat me to it. "She doesn't ever tire from it."

"I do get bored." I muttered quietly. I had thought that no one would overhear me, but the king sent me a quick smile.

"What do you feel when you show us the dream? Are you in it as well?" An older scholar, one with white, feathery hair, stroked his beard thoughtfully.

"Yes, sir." I answered. "Sometimes I see what you see. Sometimes I'm watching from above. I always feel the same."

"From what distance can you send the dreams?"

"We've measured the distance at about a hundred feet." Master Salmalín replied.

"Can she control who sees the images, or does it get sent to everyone in the vicinity?"

The questions continued until the observers had all trickled from the room. I sat on the edge of the table and sighed. "I thought it was exciting to be the only dream-sender in years. Now I wish there was someone else before me. He could have answered the questions and I wouldn't have to."

Master Salmalín patted my shoulder encouragingly. "I know it's tedious, but if we don't learn all we can about your ability, we would be betraying every scholar who ever lived."

I gaped at him. "You can't really believe that."

Master Salmalín did look in earnest. "Our work here is imperative."

"None of you are learning anything I don't already know." I crossed my arms impatiently.

"So she _is_ a mage!"

Bella stepped into the room, looking quite amused at her clever jibe at the ego of mages. "Good evening, your majesties."

"Hello, Bella." Queen Thayet smiled at her daughter's friend. "Is Lianne with you?"

"Here, Mama." Lianne entered the room, almost tripping over Bella. "Are you done with Adda?"

I looked towards Master Salmalín, showing him my blank face that he hated so much. He shifted and looked away from me. "I suppose."

"Thank you." I hastily bowed with gratitude, but paused before I left with my friends. "Can you spell things to control emotions?"

Master Salmalín looked both shocked and horrified at my question.

"No!" I rolled my eyes. "I want to make a blanket for Lotta's baby, something to calm it! _Gods_, what do you think of me?"

He looked relieved. "You can't blame me. You have...moral issues, Adda."

"Well, can you help me do it?"

"Yes," Master Salmalín nodded. "We could start now, if you-"

"Let the girl have a rest, Numair." King Jonathon raised his eyebrow at the mage.

Bella grabbed my arm and dragged me from the room.

"What are we doing?" I asked when we were well away from the council room.

"Finding Gavin." Bella announced promptly.

"What?" Lianne turned red.

"We've got to." Bella looked determined. "If you ever want anything to happen between you and him, you've got to."

"What are we going to do?" I wondered.

"He's drinking at the Silver Thimble tonight." Bella smiled conspiratorially. "We'll introduce Lianne to him and leave them to talk."

"No!" Lianne planted her feet and grabbed our arms pleadingly. "I can't just do that! He'll think I'm a stupid, silly little girl."

"However stupid and silly, you are beautiful enough to be a prize for any man." Bella turned to face Lianne. "Stop thinking about it and let's go."

"But what if he's with another girl?" Lianne trailed behind, worry etched on every line of her face.

"We've got a dream-sender." Bella grinned at me. "She can make sure that he thinks only of you."

I weighed the idea over in my mind and grinned back at Bella.

Lianne thought about it as well. A new concern crossed her face. "But that wouldn't really be fair, would it?"

"Have we ever been concerned about fairness?" Bella asked rhetorically.

I saw Lianne's point of view and partially agreed with it. "I understand. You want to attract his attention on your own."

Lianne nodded thankfully. "That's it."

"You can try your way first." Bella compromised. "If you chicken out, then we'll do it my way."

The classy tavern was full of young university students who sat around well-polished tables and debated the meaning of life. They sipped at the tankards in their hands, essentially getting drunk but doing it the scholarly way. If I ever drank to get drunk, I would want to go about it in the method of shameless abandon. There was no point in doing anything halfway.

"There he is." Bella barely moved her mouth, glancing towards a table. Gavin sat in the middle of the circle. "Go, Lianne."

She didn't move. "He's with his friends. I can't."

Bella sighed and then nodded at me.

I caught Gavin's mind with my own and quickly showed him an image of Lianne. He looked up quickly and caught sight of her. I released his mind.

"In and out." I whispered.

"Clean." Bella praised. "Let's go sit down."

We chose a table near Gavin's, but far enough away to not be conspicuous. We made sure that Lianne was in his sights. She sat almost like a block of wood, nervously twisting a strand of her hair around her fingers.

"What'll it be?" A serving girl carried an empty tray under her arm.

"Two ales and a lemonade." Bella thoughtfully acknowledged her friend's choice to avoid alcohol. She casually looked over her shoulder. "He's coming!"

I leaned forward with anticipation. Hunting Gavin was always something I'd had fun doing, probably because it wasn't laced with boring importance like my lessons.

Gavin sat down at the table and I could see why Lianne liked him so much. He had thick, curly brown hair and soft chocolate eyes. He shifted nervously and smiled at us. "May I buy you ladies a drink?"

Lianne attempted to answer, but no sound came from her mouth. I quickly answered for her, covering up her inability to speak. "We've already ordered, thanks."

"Oh." He looked slightly disappointed, but recovered quickly. "I'm Gavin. I study at the university."

"Bella." Bella accepted the drinks from the serving girl with a smile and a nod.

"I'm Lianne." The princess smiled softly at Gavin.

He smiled back at her, caught off guard by the full focus of her Conté beauty. "Hello."

I critically watched him look at her. My dream-sending had only been to catch his attention. I hadn't even attached any emotion to it besides interest. The way he was smiling and blushing, this hadn't been the first time that he'd thought of her.

I leaned back, sipping at my ale satisfactorily. I nodded at Bella. We had done well.


	19. Chapter 19

**I have so much to write about! Too bad none of it fits in the story right now. Now that I'm done with school and finals, I should be able to update more frequently. Sorry for the wait.  
**

**Chapter Eighteen**

"C'mon, stretch it out!" I told the horse that I was galloping around the pasture. His stride lengthened as my heels dug gently into his sides. The wind rushed past my face and I hunched over his outstretched neck to make the running easier for him. "C'mon!"

I ran him twice around the pasture, then slowly trotted him to cool him off. After the gelding's breathing had returned to normal, I nudged him towards the woman sitting on the pasture fence.

"Looking good out there." Daine praised.

"Stefan did most of it. I just did what he told me." I dismounted proudly. "Is he ready for the King's Own?"

Daine slipped under the pasture fence and began to run her hands over the gelding's body. "You've done a good job with him. I can hardly tell that he was ever injured."

"It was mostly the fear." I leaned against the fence. "He was scared to run again, but Stefan told me what to do."

Daine straightened up, patting the gelding's withers. "He's ready, in any case."

I grinned. "I'll bring him over today."

"He's happy to hear it." Daine smiled at the horse, who nickered.

"I like it better than mucking out stalls." I twisted the reins around my fingers. "Though I think the new stable girl would rather have my job."

"Not everyone likes manual labor as much as you do." She teased me.

I shrugged. "Did Master Salmalín say what time he wanted me?"

"Actually, he wanted me to tell you that he can't give you a lesson today."

I looked up, surprised. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"No." Daine shook her head. "Some nobleman died and left a mess to take care of." She flushed pink. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound so callous."

"It's alright." I shrugged. "He'll be in meetings all day?"

Daine nodded. "I suppose I shouldn't complain. At least _I _don't have to be in the meetings."

"Better Master Salmalín than you." I agreed.

"When I die, I'm going to make sure all my affairs are in order." Daine decided. "No mess, no secrets, no secret love-children."

The corners of my mouth turned up in amusement.

"I mean, three of the commoners on his fief are accusing him of raping them." Daine shook her head with pure disgust. "Sometimes I just don't understand men."

"Who was it?" A trace of apprehension sneaked its way into my voice.

"Burchard of Stone Mountain. He'd been having heart trouble for months." She explained. "The healers couldn't do much for him because of his age. It must have been a relief to him to finally pass on...Adda, are you alright?"

I had unconsciously been clenching my fists. I relaxed them. "Why?"

Daine's brows furrowed and she looked back up at me concernedly. "You knew him, didn't you?"

My hands shook and my pulse raced. I opened my mouth to lie, but only the truth came out. "I was going to kill him."

Daine's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. "What?"

"But I didn't." I hastened to assure her. "I really didn't. Master Salmalín wouldn't teach me any curses and he scared me well enough on that subject for me to stay away."

Daine looked a little frightened of me. I understood why. I was talking about murder without acting at all remorseful.

"I know it's wrong." I hurriedly added. "I do."

"Did he hurt you?" Daine ventured cautiously. She didn't look at me as she waited for my answer.

"Not me." I answered vaguely. "One of my crew. But it's alright. She's alright."

Daine's mouth was locked tight and I could see that she didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell whether she believed me or not, whether she saw through my lie that my friend had been raped and not me.

"Anyway," I grabbed the gelding's reins and opened the pasture gate. "I just wish I'd something to him before he died so that I could feel better."

I made my escape. Of course, this entire conversation was my fault to begin with. I had admitted to knowing Stone Mountain. I had opened my mouth when I should have kept it closed.

"Adda, wait." Daine caught up with me, catching my arm. "I didn't always live in a palace, you know. I'm not...I mean, if you need to talk, I'm here."

"He's dead." I shrugged. "It doesn't matter anymore."

This time, I was away before she could say anything more.

* * *

The Silver Thimble was much more crowded than usual. I pushed my way through the crowd, searching for my friends. I winced as I was jostled, catching an elbow to my rib. I sidestepped a drunk student and found Lianne, to my great relief.

"Hey." I caught her arm. "Do we have a table?"

"No." Lianne shook her head, her eyes filled with mild surprise. "You're wearing a skirt."

I nodded, smoothing the skirt self-consciously. "It's not really practical, but I like it."

"It looks good." Lianne complimented. "You should wear them more often."

"Thanks." I looked around. "Is Gavin here?'  
"You're the tall one." Bella appeared at my shoulder, holding two drinks in her hands. "You tell me."

"He's coming late." Lianne explained. "He's not here yet."

Bella was bumped and she shoved the offender away from her, scowling fiercely. "I hate this! Why did they all have to come to our tavern?"

"Ours?" Lianne raised an eyebrow at her friend. "Adda, there's a protest rally tonight. The students are protesting for stricter protection laws for scholar's essays, or something like that. It starts soon and then everyone will leave for the center of the city."

"At least, everyone sober enough to make it through the front door." Bella mumbled.

"Sounds like a good way to start a riot." I commented. "Especially by meeting at a tavern."

"Don't be such a killjoy." Bella rolled her eyes at me.

"Is Gavin going along?" I wondered.

Lianne nodded, beaming with pride.

"Protection laws, Lianne, for essays." Bella reminded her friend.

Lianne's smile dimmed a little. "But he's still protesting. It's still brave."

I caught sight of Kane and groaned inwardly. He was sitting on a table, his arm around a female scholar. He was flirting with her and while his youthfulness was amusing, she couldn't help but be charmed.

"What are you looking at?" Lianne nudged me.

"Nothing." I shrugged. "Look, there's Gavin!"

Gavin made his way through the crowd towards us, his face bright red from excitement. "Four other taverns this size are filled! This is going to be the biggest rally we've ever put on! It's going to be amazing!"

He caught Lianne's waist and kissed her with fervor. Pulling away quickly, Gavin continued talking at a rapid pace.

"We're almost ready. The signal is when the tenth bell rings, which should be any time now. We'll all head out and meet up with the others, then begin the chant. We'll get those protection laws even if it kills us!"

Bella and I exchanged amused glances and quickly looked away before we laughed.

"Listen!" Gaven hushed us as the city bell began to ring, signaling the arrival of the tenth hour and the beginning of the rally.

Almost immediately, the drunken students began to pour our of the tavern. Gavin led us along, as excited as one of Daine's puppies.

Excitement was the emotion that filled the air. I wasn't excessively excited, but I could feel the feverish tension that the others' were feeling. Even Bella, though she'd never admit it, seemed excited. She looked from place to place, alert and jumpy. There was an extra spring in Gavin's step that stemmed from a stirring conviction that he was doing something right.

I felt a tug on my arm and turned around. I was surprised to see Kane.

He didn't look very happy to be talking to me. "Gwen says I have to thank you for getting me the job at the cleaners."

"Wasn't a problem." I shrugged. "Sure wasn't a favor to you."

"Got that right." Kane grumbled and looked down.

"What are you doing here?" I asked curiously.

"Nothing." Kane shrugged.

I surveyed the situation, a mass of drunken students stumbling down the street in the dark. "Will you hurt me if I ask if Gwen knows where you are?"

"Only if you expect me to answer." Kane shot back.

Gavin looked slightly disappointed. "I thought it would be better. Maybe we're not far enough in the center."

He began to weave his way through the other students. Bella and Lianne looked at each other before following him.

I forced my way after them, Kane close to my side. He seemed determined to keep up with me.

"The center's much better!" Gavin yelled back at us. He waited for us to catch up and slipped an arm around Lianne's shoulders.

The center was better, perhaps in the opinion of an overeager scholar. The chant had actually been taken up. Shouts of "Essay protection!" and "Our work deserves its credit" and suchlike. The students raised their fists to the night sky in support of the new laws.

Bella watched the proceedings with a critical eye. "It would be alright, I think, if they were rallying for something important. I suppose that makes me an embarrassment to my profession."

"I think they're the embarrassment." I nodded towards the protesters.

"Oh, look!" Bella pointed to a small fight that had begun far to our right.

"I think that's Leo." Gavin squinted at those who were fight. "Oh, drat."

He pushed through the crowd and yanked the brawlers apart. Instead of settling the fight, Gavin only further instigated it. One of the fighters punched Gavin's jaw, knocking him back.

In only seconds, the entire scene changed from exciting and energizing to dangerous and frightening. The brawlers quickly multiplied until almost all of the men in the center of the rally were fighting or arguing. The more passive or intelligent protesters scurried out of the way, attempting to avoid the brawl.

"Watch out!" I pulled Kane out of the way of a flying bottle. A stone whizzed past my ear and I flinched.

"Let go of me!" Kane jerked himself out of my grasp, eyes wide with excitement.

"Gavin!" Lianne shouted desperately, pointing into the clump of wriggling bodies.

"C'mon, let's go!" Bella wrapped her arms around her friend and began to tug her away.

"I'll get him!" Kane, convinced that he could protect himself against the bigger and stronger men, dove into the pile over bodies.

"That was stupid." Bella commented. "Adda, help me with Lianne!"

I half-picked the girl up, dragging her from the dangerous center of the riot. We traveled with the pull of the crowd, slowly forcing ourselves towards the calmer edge. I set Lianne down so that she could face the chastisement from Bella.

"Are you insane?" Bella questioned. "You weren't of any use to anyone in there! Next time I tell you to come, you come."

"But Gavin-" Lianne turned a worried face to the crowd.

"No." Bella cut her off. "Your parents already hate me. I do not need you getting hurt while out with me."

"They do _not _hate you." Lianne rolled her eyes. "Gavin!"

Kane struggled out of the crowd, leading a much beaten, brown-haired boy. Lianne rushed to his side, fussing over him concernedly.

"I'm impressed." I helped Kane support Gavin's weight.

Kane smirked. "Bet you couldn't have done that."

I looked back at the brawling bodies. "I really couldn't have."

"It's not my first riot." Kane bragged, then making a small attempt at humility. "Well, growing up in the city like I did. Bet I guess you did alright, for your first riot."

"Can we just get home?" Bella raised her hands. "Please?"

We trudged away, Gavin slumped over me and Kane's shoulders, Bella and Lianne sticking close behind.

**Ever notice Adda's tendency not to deal? It's kind of annoying. I wrote this really touching scene where she discusses her rape with Daine and they bond, but it really doesn't seem like something Adda would be caught doing. So instead, Adda avoids. Anyway, I was just tying up a loose end with Stone Mountain. I never wanted her to kill him, but I didn't want to just forget about it.**


	20. Chapter 20

**So Hunchbook brought to my attention that I had misrepresented the scholars and insulted college students and the rallies and causes that they believe in. I apologize for this. I really didn't mean to and I'll make it a point to portray the scholars in a better light in the future.**

**I'm also sorry for the delay, I was on vacation and should update more regularly now.**

**Chapter Twenty**

"It wasn't a real riot." I protested. "It was over protection laws for _essays_."

"Those aren't important?" Master Salmalín looked slightly affronted.

I chose my words carefully. "No...they just don't make for a good riot."

"And what does?"

"Unfair laws for commoners. High prices in the market. Ban on alcohol." I listed. "That's what caused the most riots in the past."

"True." Master Salmalín agreed. "But are essays any less important?"

"Seeing as it's just what scholar gets to take credit for the work, I'd say yes."

"We'll see how you feel when you write an essay."

"Me?" I scoffed. "I can barely write."

"We may have to wait a year or two."

"I hate writing." I reminded him. "What are the odds that I'll do it for fun?"

"Anything can happen in a year." Master Salmalín shot back.

"Numair, can you take Sarralyn?" Daine rode up closer to him and handed over the baby. "There's a herd of deer."

She dismounted and handed her reins to me. I took them and wrapped them around the pommel of my saddle.

"I'm actually surprised that the rally turned out as such." Master Salmalín continued our conversation after Daine had walked into the trees. "Usually the students are very well-behaved during them."

"Gavin said that they made a mistake meeting at the taverns." I explained. "The alcohol attracted a lot of students who just wanted a fun time. Gavin was really disappointed that it didn't work out, but they're going to meet at the university next time."

"Would you ever want to go to the university?" Master Salmalín wondered.

"I don't think so." I answered slowly. "Why?"

"You won't need a teacher forever." He let Sarralyn play with his fingers. "Have you thought about the future at all?"

The question scared me a little bit. No, I hadn't thought about the future. I knew that I wouldn't always live at the palace, learning from Master Salmalín. I just hadn't thought about what I'd be doing after. "I'm not a danger to anybody anymore, am I?"

"No. You've got control."

"Then I guess I can do anything I want." I thought about the idea and it was overwhelming. "I think I'll stay with you for a bit more, if you don't mind."

Master Salmalín chuckled and nodded. "I still have more to teach you."

I was silent for a few minutes, just thinking. "What _can_ I do? After I'm done learning?"

He was quiet as he thought up an answer for my question. "You may want to consider traveling to other countries to learn from their mages. Different regions tend to have different styles and techniques."

"Maybe." I didn't sound convinced. Tortall was big enough without me traveling all over the realm.

"Or you could stay in Tortall. We'll find a use for you." Master Salmalín smiled at me.

We wound around the trees and saw the stable. Tingling with anticipation, I dismounted, still holding on to both sets of reins.

"I'll take them." Master Salmalín held out his hand for the reins.

"Baby and horses?" I asked, already beginning to hand the horses over.

"I'll think of something." He looked a little uncertain.

"You'll have to." I slung my pack onto my back and began to jog down the dirt path.

My fief was still the same, the sweet scent of summer floating on the wind. Even as a slave, even with the chains on my wrists and the whip at my back, I had loved that smell. It was good to smell it again.

I found Lotta resting on a bench near the wooden tables by the castle. Her jaw dropped when she saw me. She very much not pregnant.

"Lotta!" I threw my arms around her.

"We were hoping you'd come!" Lotta laughed and squeezed me tightly. "Did you come alone?"

"No, Master Salmalín and Daine came with me. He's putting the horses in the stable. I brought something for the baby." I managed to wiggle away from her grasp and swiftly pulled the package from my pack.

"You didn't have to." Lotta hugged me again, resting her head on my shoulder.

I grinned. "Yes, I did and you know it. Where's the baby?"

"Sleeping with Evrett." Lotta peered eagerly at the wrapped package in my arms.

"Not until I see the baby."

"Oh, come on then." She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the shade of the trees. Evrett was lying on a blanket, a protective arm around a tiny bundle by his side. His eyes opened partway as Lotta knelt by his side.

"Is she crying?" He mumbled.

Lotta gently picked up the baby. "No. Go back to sleep, Evrett."

I set the package down on the ground and carefully received the baby. I looked down at her delicate features and wisps of hair. "She's..."

"We named her Rowan." Lotta smiled up at me.

Rowan's eyelids opened and the most beautiful blue eyes stared up at me. Her nose crinkled and she yawned, her tiny tongue curling in her mouth like a kitten's. She nestled back into the blanket, bringing her fists to her mouth. She sucked on her fingers, still staring at me with all her trust and innocence.

I didn't know how to tell Lotta how perfect her daughter was, so I simply beamed down at her. Lotta beamed back, satisfied with my reaction. Her eyes flitted back to the wrapped package and I nodded.

Lotta slowly unwrapped the waterproof cloth and discovered a quilt. Her mouth dropped.

So I had cheated. Between slavery and my life at the palace, I had never learned to sew. I had thought that I might be able to create a quilt with my Gift, but after much melted cloth, Master Salmalín saw fit to remind me that I couldn't do small, intricate things with my Gift. I went to the shops in the market and bought the best blanket I could find. It cost me nearly all the money I had earned since I had started work in the stables, but it was well worth it.

The child-size quilt was composed of different shades of blue, using different patterns for each shade. The various shades were cut into squares that had been manipulated to form the outline of stars on the backing of the quilt. At a first glance, the pattern appeared so simple, but it was anything but simple. It was a masterpiece and I had not begrudged the seamstress the coins I had paid her.

My own work on the quilt was good, but shabby in comparison. Still, I felt I ought to give it the mention it deserved.

"I spelled it for protection and health." I offered as Lotta ran her fingers over the fabric. "I was going to spell it for sleep, but Master Salmalín told me that the baby might never wake up. So I didn't, but I did spell it for calm."

Lotta carefully set the quilt down and looked at me with tears in her eyes.

I raised my eyebrows. "I thought the weepies stop after you have the baby."

Lotta grinned, a watery grin, and squeezed my arm. "This is the finest thing I've ever owned. It's the best thing I've ever been given, 'cept for Evrett, Rowan, and you."

I shrugged. "I just really wanted it to be special. For her."

Little Rowan shifted in my arms and began to whimper. I rocked her gently, swaying slightly to calm her.

"It's special to me as well." Lotta began to fold up the quilt. "Thank you, Addy."

"Evrett!" Mathias called out. He and a small group of men walked out from the trees. "Laziest man I ever...Adda!"

"Adda?" Trom pushed his way to the front of the group as they continued to walk towards the castle. I handed Rowan back to Lotta.

Mathias took Trom's ax from him, leaving Trom free to hug me. He did so, and I returned the hug. Trom pulled away quickly, grinning down at me.

"I was hoping you'd come."

"Well, I did." I smiled.

"What, no wounds? No fresh scars?" Mathias teased as he looked me up and down.

"I don't get hurt that much." I pointed out.

"Last we saw you, we were all beat up." Trom slipped his arm around my shoulders as easily as if it belonged there.

"We're splitting wood for the bonfire." Mathias gave Evrett a hand up. "And you're helpin'."

Evrett groaned as he took the hand and the ax that Mathias offered.

"If the child's got you so licked now," Mathias somberly clapped Evrett's back. "What of when she's fourteen and has got a string of men-"

Evrett cut Mathias off with a black look. "Your boy had best be far away from her."

"Jan is a ladies' man." Mathias shrugged. "What can I do?"

"Mathias' boy kissed one of the girls." Trom whispered in my ear. "Mathias is fair proud of it."

I couldn't help laughing. Jan was only three or four, too young to be thinking about girls. Mathias had most likely put the idea of kissing in his son's head.

"Think you can still manage an ax?" Mathias tossed me one. "Or are you too afraid to get those pretty clothes dirty, noble?"

I grinned back at him, adjusting the wooden handle in my hands. "How 'bout we go and find out?"

"Adda always had a good hand with the ax." Evrett reminded Mathias. "She learned from the best."

"You?" Mathias scoffed.

"No...Rolph." I rested the ax on my shoulder.

Mathias couldn't argue with that. Rolph had been an excellent woodsman. "I might suggest a little competition then?"

"Adda against you?" Trom asked. "I'll place my bet on Adda."

I grinned. I was mostly sure that I wouldn't win, but Trom's confidence in me was endearing.

"It's on." Mathias shook Trom's hand. "You'll have to watch Jan for a week."

"Done." Trom nodded. "You'll owe me labor on the shack."

Evrett raised his eyebrows, then turned to me apologetically. "I'd place my bet on you, but Trom's offer is just too good."

"I understand." I smiled, turning to Trom to see if he'd take the bet.

Trom looked a little uncertain about the bet with Evrett. "A baby? I don't know..."

"I'll give you double the labor that Mathias is giving." Evrett dangled the bait. "Don't you have faith in the girl?"

Trom sighed. "Yes. Done."

"Now I'm pressured." I complained.

"You always did so well under pressure." Mathias reassured me. "Living with nobles' softened you up?"

I scoffed at him. "Not on your life."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Mathias had decided that the best place to defeat me would be at the bonfire. We had waited a few days to have the competition. Meanwhile, the men had talked about it constantly, ensuring that everyone was eager for the competition. If they didn't actually care about the outcome, they just wanted it to be over so that they wouldn't need to hear anymore about it.

Evrett solemnly handed both Mathias and me our axes. Mathias began making a big show of stretching and warming up his muscles, but I just stood waiting. I had already warmed up, in private, as to not make a fool of myself.

Instead, I surveyed the log in front of me. It was a good size trunk, at least a foot wide.

It was long enough for us to both have enough space without being crowded. The log was raised off the ground and tied to the wooden blocks that supported it. I wouldn't have to worry about the log shifting balance.

"Are you two ready?" Evrett laid his hands on both our shoulders.

"Ready as ever." Mathias grinned wolfishly.

I nodded and Evrett stepped well away from our axes. "All ready? Get set! Now!"

As one, Mathias and me swung the axes over our shoulders and brought them down in the log with a singular resounding thud. I was out of the log before he was, because my swing hadn't driven my ax as deep as Mathias'. I had swung again by the time his ax was out of the log.

"Go, Adda!" Trom cheered me on. "C'mon!"

"Mathias, if you don't win!" Evrett threatened his friend, who determinedly ignored him.

"Addy!" Lotta's face was flushed and her eyes were bright with excitement. I could see her from the corner of my eye and I gave her a quick smile before concentrating on the competition.

The cheers, encouragements and insults ran together like the sweat that was forming on my body. I brought my ax down again and again, refraining from looking over at Mathias to see how he was doing.

I was about halfway through the log and my heart was pounding hard and steadily. I wanted to speed up, wanted to get ahead, but I held myself back. I didn't want to use the bulk of my strength before the last stretch of the competition.

The ax slipped in my hands and I tightened my grasp, frowning with concentration. My palms burned from the friction and I took a deep breath, resuming the pattern of swinging and pulling.

"That's it, Mathias! You've got her!" Evrett yelled happily.

I sharpened my focus, drawing on my reserves. I almost doubled my speed, narrowing my eyes to slits to protect them from the flying chips.

Mathias' ax broke though the log and the crowd roared. Mathias raised his ax above his head and shook it victoriously. They screamed even louder, making an incredible amount of noise for only about fifty people. I was impressed, in any case.

I buried my ax in the log and halted Mathias' victory dance to shake his hand. "Nice fell. I'm just glad I didn't place a bet."

Mathias grinned at me, wrapping his arm around my head and messing my hair. I scowled good-naturedly and pushed him away.

"It's alright." Trom shoved his way through the crowd to console me. "You were really close, Adda."

"Not close enough. You'll be watching children all week." I consoled Trom. By the way his face fell, he needed it more than me.

"I know." Trom muttered. "Still, you were very fast. You were faster than Mathias, he was just stronger. You were-"

"Stop it!" I laughed. "I'm alright. I'm sorry I couldn't win for you, but you're more upset than I am."

"Thanks, Adda." Evrett grinned cheekily as he followed the rest of the onlookers as they made their way towards the bonfire site.

The men were piling the wood onto the massive fire when I got there. The musicians were readying their drums and I even saw a flute. The children were running around underfoot, shrieking with anticipation.

"Look!" Trom nudged me and pointed.

I looked and saw two men rolling a giant keg. They strained to lift it onto a bench.

"They've got four more of those." Trom informed me. "Now that we don't have to make it in secret, the men set up a brewery."

"A brewery?" I raised my eyebrows. During my last couple days at the fief, I hadn't seen anything resembling a brewery. "Where?"

"In the east woods." Trom answered. "I help out there sometimes."

"Hmm." I caught sight of Master Salmalín and Daine. "I'll be back."

Trom nodded as I wove my way through the throng of people.

"You did very well." Master Salmalín congratulated me.

"Did you do a lot of that before..." Daine struggled to find the words that wouldn't upset me.

I saved her the effort. "We never really made a contest out of it, but our crew spent a lot of time in the forest. Rolph, he was a woodsmen. He taught me."

"Have you ever used weapons?" Master Salmalín asked.

"Just once." I answered curiously.

"We were thinking that, if you wanted, you should start weapon lessons." Daine suggested. "It's really useful and you were really good with that ax. An ax is only a step away from a weapon."

"Less than that, actually." I grinned. "We used our axes to kill the guards."

Master Salmalín cleared his throat. "Yes, well, would you be interested?"

"Yes." I shrugged. "Sounds well enough."

Master Salmalín looked pleased. "Good."

The drumming began and the dancers began to sway with the beat.

"Are all your Midsummers like this?" Master Salmalín wondered.

"Mostly." I reflected. "There does seem to be a lot more beer at this one...but probably a lot less love-making."

Master Salmalín raised his eyebrows. I didn't see fit to enlighten him.

"Addy, come on!" Lotta pulled my arm, bringing me into the circle of dancers with her. I fell into the line as it spun around the fire. My feet remembered the steps better than my head, so I let them lead me.

"Evrett's more than thrilled." Lotta told me, then had to wait until we passed each other again to finish. "But poor Trom."

"I know." I agreed. "He shouldn't have bet on me."

We needed to save our breath for the dancing, so we didn't say anything more. Instead, we threw ourselves into the dances with wild abandon. It was an old habit. Back when we were still slaves, the music and the dance helped us to forget the bad things about our life. When I was too tired to dance, I sat by the drummers and the flutist. That close to the drums, I could feel the vibrations through the core of my body and it made my heart pump faster.

I saw Daine and Lotta sitting on the grass, chatting comfortably, both of their babies lying on the quilt. I was pleased by the fact that they got along. They were two links, each from a separate part of my life, and I was glad that they fit together. It made things a little simpler.

"Here." Trom handed me a tankard. "Tired?"

"Resting." I took a small sip of beer.

Trom took a big gulp from his own mug, sighing with pleasure. "Is this anything like what you've got in Corus?"

"I wouldn't know. Judging by Master Salmalín's face when he tasted it, I'd say that this has a little more...kick." I felt the burning liquid travel down my throat. "But I don't drink much."

"So..." Trom began slowly. "Are you happy in Corus?"

I was slightly taken aback by the question. "I suppose. What do you mean?"

"Are you ever coming back?" Trom stared intently at the beer in his tankard.

"I don't know." I avoided his gaze. "Master Salmalín was talking about traveling to other countries. I could go all around the world, Trom."

"Do you want to go all around the world?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Maybe. I'd like to see Carthak."

"Carthak is just a place I've heard of once or twice." Trom raised his head, a strange light in his eyes. "I've never even thought I'd get the chance to go there. And you, you going to different countries and meeting important people and-"

"How much have you drunk?" I tried to make my voice light.

"Not much." Trom stared at me. "Do you remember last time you came? When we were...alone in the shack?"

"Yes." I blushed slightly, but refused to look away. "Are you saying..."

"No, I decided that I didn't want it either." Trom lowered his head shyly. "At least, not until we can be wed."

I choked on a mouthful of beer, inhaling the drops into my lungs. I coughed and spat them onto the ground. "Trom!"

Trom flushed and began to mumble. Even slightly drunk, he knew that he had blundered. "I wasn't asking you or anything, just saying what I hoped."

"Trom..." I had no idea what to say.

"Don't say anything." Trom hastily quieted me. "Just forget I said anything."

I sat next to him for another minute or two, shifting awkwardly. Finally, I stood. "I'm done resting."

I danced. When I turned back in Trom's direction, he was gone. I sighed, turning to Lotta. She was still talking to Daine. As much as I liked Daine, she didn't know Trom and wouldn't understand the situation. I waited until Daine stood wearily, picking up Sarralyn, and heading off with Master Salmalín.

I casually made my way towards Lotta, dropping onto the grass.

"What is it?" Lotta peered at me curiously.

I looked at her quizzically.

"You kept looking over here." Lotta smiled. "And you usually don't dance that badly."

Lotta did know me well. I sighed heavily, leaning towards her so that no one would overhear. "Trom sort of asked me to marry him."

"_What?_"

"He did." I nodded.

"What did you say?" Lotta gave me a half-smile. She could tell from my attitude that I wasn't pleased.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"What was I supposed to say?" I asked Lotta fiercely. "How would it work? I've got my lessons with Master Salmalín. I live in Corus! There's no use for my Gift here. What am I supposed to do, marry him and live with him and have _babies _with him?"

Lotta listened dutifully and when I paused, she clapped a hand over my mouth. "Adda, if I had to give up everything I had to follow Evrett all the way to Scanra and back, I would. That's how much I love him."

"I do love Trom." I ducked my head miserably. "Maybe not as much as you love Evrett."

"Then that's going to be a problem." Lotta's eyes were very serious. "You can't lead him on, Adda, not at all. That would be very cruel."

"I wasn't even." I told her. "I've never promised him anything, or told him I love him. We've only kissed and people who don't love each other can do that."

"Alright." Lotta kissed my forehead. "Just be honest with him."

"I'm trying." I suddenly felt very sorry for myself and not at all sorry for Trom. "He shouldn't have said it. He'd no right.

"Trom had every right to tell you how he felt." Lotta got to her feet, leaving me sitting beside the quilt and baby. "Watch Rowan, will you?"

"Course." I tucked the edges of the quilt tighter around the sleeping baby and lay down beside her. I looked up at the stars, almost obscured by the trees and the smoke from the fire. It had gotten late and I was getting sleepy.

The crickets chirped, adding their noise to the crackling of the fire and the murmur of voices. The drums had stopped and the flutist hadn't been present for hours. I yawned and tried to keep my eyelids from drooping.

"I'm sorry." Trom had appeared beside me and he looked more than apologetic. "I messed things up. I'm sorry."

"Alright." I laid down, snuggling against baby Rowan.

Trom laid his hand on my shoulder and I fell asleep.

**Have any of you realized how often Adda shrugs? It's uncontrollable...**

**Just for the record, I don't always use proper grammar on purpose. I'm sure I really do make mistakes, but some of them are intentional. There are a lot of "someone and me"s in this chapter. It's driving me a little insane just to have to write it, but something tells me that Adda is a "someone and I" type of girl. **

**Just another sidenote, my updates are getting shorter and shorter and I'm not thrilled about it. I'm really stuck right now. Assuming it's the end of June (Midsummer), I'm probably going to skip half a year or so. It should speed things up. Anyway, tell me what you guys think. I really want to do this right. **


	22. Chapter 22

**So this was a much better chapter than the ones I've been giving you lately. This was the last chapter before the next plot starts up, so the awkward filler chapters are over.**

**Chapter 22**

"Keep your guard up!" The Lioness bellowed, spinning around and bringing her broadsword towards my face.

I blocked what I could, dodged what I couldn't, and hoped that Lady Alanna had complete control of that weed-hacker she was swinging about.

"Stop dreaming! Keep your sword up! " She taunted me. "No decent swordsman would move his feet about as slowly as you!"

She was aggravating, to be sure, but I gritted my teeth and took her criticism to heart. I did need to keep my sword up and my footwork was lacking. Of course, my footwork would be better if the Lioness hadn't been chasing me around for an hour.

I successfully blocked her next three strikes and the Lioness grudgingly lowered her sword. "You have five minutes."

I sheathed the practice sword and tried not to stumble as I headed towards Daine. She had been watching and studying an anatomy book. Daine handed me a waterskin without looking up from the pictures in the book. "Did you know that elephants only have four teeth?"

"No." I shook my head. "Did you know that horses have bones in their tails?"

Daine smiled at me. "Yes."

"It's amazing." I gulped my water slowly, trying to keep from getting a stomachache. "Is that for the elephants in the menagerie?"

"One of the females is going to have her calf soon. I just want to make sure I'm ready, in case she needs me."

I loved visiting the menagerie because the university mages had replicated each animals' natural habitat. Not only did I get to see the animals, but I could see their homes as well.

"Not many are able to keep cool like that when she yells." Daine nodded towards Alanna. "I know I can't."

I shrugged. "She's _almost_ as bad as my overseers."

Daine laughed, handing me a towel to dry my sweaty face. "She must seem like a kitten to you."

"A very angry kitten." I joked. Lady Alanna was terrifying, however small. I liked her better, but was just as scared of her than of my overseers. I watched Lady Alanna's pattern dance curiously. "She seems more..." I searched for the right word, then continued anyway. "-than usual."

Daine's face immediately became guarded. She had never been very good at disguising what she was feeling. "She's tired, I suppose. Jon's had her working hard."

If the king had truly been working Lady Alanna half to death, then she wouldn't have had time to spend a whole hour with me each day. Still, I didn't need to pry. "Oh."

"Adda! Rest is over!"

"Good luck." Daine returned to her book.

I unsheathed my practice sword, tightened my stomach muscles, and blocked the Lioness' sword thrust. She was fast, really fast. I wasn't sure that I could ever match her speed. I would just have to avoid ever meeting her in battle.

"Don't think, Adda, don't think!" Lady Alanna shouted. "Just do!"

And I had gotten so used to thinking.

"Faster!" Lady Alanna had to pull back so that she wouldn't hurt me. "An enemy wouldn't worry about your well-being! Block faster!"

My arms felt like lead, but I forced my arms to block quicker.

Lady Alanna's eyes trailed over my shoulder and I took advantage of her split second of inattention. I snaked my blade towards her throat, but she snapped back and quickly flicked my sword from my hand.

"Nice." She praised, striding past me. I retrieved my sword and turned to see Lady Alanna embracing her man, the Baron of Pirates' Swoop.

I turned away, feeling as if I was witnessing something that was not mine to see. The Lioness had been shaking and the Baron was comforting her. I didn't want to know what made the Lioness shake.

Daine closed her book and stood, stretching. "Come, Adda."

I hung my sword on the rack and hurried to follow Daine.

"Wait, Daine." The Baron caught her arm. His eyes flicked to me.

I left without a word.

* * *

I'd been working on the same spell for almost two hours, but I'd made no headway at all.

"Gods curse it!" I finally growled quietly. "Mithros, Mynoss and Shakith can all go up my-"

"Do me a favor and don't finish that sentence." Master Salmalín rested his hand on my shoulder, amusement in his voice.

"Sorry." I ducked my head, chastised. I _had_ singled out his particular gods for my anger, so the scolding was only fair.

"You must have learned that from Alanna." Master Salmalín shook his head. "I knew learning from her would be a bad idea."

"You just don't want her teaching me any magic." I leaned back in my chair. "You're afraid that her technique will rub off on me."

He opened his mouth to deny it, but closed it sheepishly.

A knock sounded on the door and Master Salmalín waved the door open. A page jumped, then straightened up and offered a piece of parchment. "Lord Salmalín, from the king."

Master Salmalín thanked the page, then read it quickly. "Adda, I've got to meet with the king."

"Alright." I felt the same tension in the air that I had felt back in the practice room with the Lioness. "You want me to watch Sarra?"

"That would be wonderful." He smiled gratefully, then hurried from the room.

I tossed the page a coin, used to Master Salmalín forgetting. "Tell Farren that Adda says hello, please."

"Yes, lady." The page bowed and shut the door behind him as he left.

I shut the spell book and crossed the room to where the baby was playing. She smiled up at me and waved her toy around. "Da?"

"Your da had to go." I knelt on the floor. "Grrr."

Sarralyn giggled and crawled off at a rapid speed. She could toddle, but was still very off-balance. She was better off just scurrying away.

I played with her on the floor for a few minutes, then finally caught her and set her on my hip. I left the room, walking towards one of the stables.

"Pony." I switched to baby talk for Sarralyn's benefit. "Pony ride?"

"Pony?" Sarra's eyes brightened and she began to chatter incoherently.

I was teaching Sarralyn how to ride. She wasn't even two yet, and I knew that. Even so, learning early couldn't hurt and it passed the time. I had to watch Sarra a lot lately.

I entered the stable, catching sight of Lonnie, one of the stable hands that I had befriended.

"Where's that friend of yours?" Lonnie swaggered towards us, stuffing work gloves into his pocket.

"How should I know?" I asked. "I don't know."

"Please, Adda?" Lonnie grinned. He was beginning to grow a mustache or something. He probably thought it made him look dashing.

"You're too old for her." I shot back. "Here, hold her."

I handed Sarralyn to Lonnie. For a moment, he looked as if he didn't know what to do with her. Then, he sighed and tucked her against his arm. "I'm the oldest of seven." He explained. "And I'm not much older than you."

"You're almost twenty." I reminded him.

"That's not old." Lonnie rolled his eyes.

I shrugged. "We're going to the orphanage tonight. You can come if you'd like."

While Lonnie was still holding Sarra, I opened one of the stall doors and quickly slipped a bridle on the little pony inside. Oats was an old man in pony years, and very gentle. He was a good mount for Sarralyn to learn on. I didn't saddle the pony, because I thought that Sarra should feel the horse beneath her. It seemed like a good idea.

"Alright, I'll have her." I held out my arms for the baby and set her on Oats.

"Thank you, thank you." Lonnie grinned at me. "I won't mess this up. Thank you, Adda."

"Just don't act stupid." I warned him. "Don't act too smart either."

I led the pony past him, into the small corral. I kept my hand on Sarralyn's back to support her. I could catch her easily if she started to slip. Sarralyn wrapped her tiny fists in the pony's mane and leaned forward. Oats plodded along steadfastly and I patted his neck.

Sarra's lower lip stuck out and she kicked her heels into Oats' side. I raised my eyebrows. I hadn't taught her that, but I assumed she knew what it meant.

"C'mon, Oats." I began to walk faster so that Oats would have to quicken up. Sarralyn began to bounce and her eyes widened with fear. "It's fine, I got you."

When Sarralyn started to yawn, I took her off the pony. "Did your da make you take your nap?" I asked Sarralyn, as she leaned her head against my shoulder.

I brushed Oats with one hand and gave Sarra a handful of oats for him. I made sure that she kept her hand flat so that it wouldn't get nibbled. Sarralyn giggled as the pony's wet tongue scraped her hand, then she wiped it on my tunic.

I laid Sarra down in the clean straw, where I could keep an eye on her, and got to work cleaning tack. Lonnie kept me well-supplied with bridles, halters, and saddles. Just like I had thought, Sarralyn dozed off, her nose pressed into the sweet-smelling straw.

I didn't know why I hated the tension so much.

I didn't mind the secrets. I understood that I was friends with important people who couldn't always share the things they talked about. Even if they weren't important secrets, I didn't mind. I didn't tell them everything about me, so I shouldn't expect them to.

I knew that they were worried and that worried me. I didn't want to see any of them hurt. On a more selfish level, I didn't want my new life destroyed. Another war, death, or catastrophe would probably destroy it.

I looked up with surprise when most of the horses and ponies stuck their noses out of their stalls and nickered. I realized what it most be. "Hey, Daine."

"Hay is for horses." Daine dug into her pocket for the treats she kept there and distributed them among the horses. "Thanks for taking care of her."

I shrugged.

Daine sat next to me on a hay bale. "I don't know how you do it all. Lessons, training, work..."

"You do a fair amount of work yourself." I reminded her.

"Sure seems like that." Daine sighed. "You should have seen me during the Scanran War. I could hardly catch a spare moment."

"I hardly knew a war was going on. It didn't much affect us."

"And now, look at you." Daine tugged at a lock of my hair. "Mage, swordswoman, scholar. Maybe politics are next."

"They'll have a noble of me yet." I commented wryly.

"I hope not." Daine made a face.

"I'd rather not be a scholar anyway."

"Understandable." Daine joked.

"Anyway," I finished cleaning the last saddle and stood to put it back on its rack. "I've been letting Sarra ride Oats. He's probably told you already. I hope you don't mind."

"No." Daine shook her head. "It's fine with me. Just don't let Numair find out. He'll worry."

"Yah." I nodded, thinking of Master Salmalín's unreasonable reactions.

"I'd take her myself, but..." Daine sighed.

"You'll have time." I reassured her. "You're just busy now. It'll get better."

"I hope so." Daine rose as well, leaning to pick up Sarralyn from the straw. Sarra opened her eyes briefly, smiled when she saw her mother, and fell back asleep. "See you at supper."

"See you." I grabbed a bridle and walked down the center of the stable. "Who wants to run?"

I had learned that Daine's presence had caused the animals in the palace to become more intelligent. I wasn't surprised when one mare stuck her nose out of her stall and whinnied. She wanted to run and I needed to fly.

* * *

"Please come, Lia." Bella was dragging Lianne behind her. "It will take your mind off whatever you're upset about. Besides, I already told Gavin that we were going. He won't have fun without you. It's your duty as his...woman, as Adda would say, to keep him happy."

Lianne had been seized by the same tension that had consumed almost everyone I knew. She hadn't said as much, but when Bella and I went to get her, she was with their majesties. They had told her to go with us, but she was reluctant.

"Wait up!" Lonnie saw us and ran to catch up.

"Oh, he's coming with." I informed Bella and Lianne.

"The stableboy, right?" Bella looked him over curiously.

I nodded, hiding a grin. Bella didn't know it, but he was the same one that I had offered Lianne to practice kissing on. Lianne had turned the lessons down, but Bella had expressed her interest.

"Hold on!"

I groaned inwardly when I saw Kane, still in his palace cleaners' uniform. He didn't run to catch up, instead walked leisurely in order to make us wait.

Kane smiled charmingly at Bella and Lianne, then turned to me. "Heading to the Home?"

"Yes." I answered. "Bumming an escort?"

Kane rolled his eyes and fell back to walk with Lonnie.

Lianne had decided to come without complaint and linked arms with Bella. I fell into line with them.

Bella linked her arm through mine. "I'm glad we met you, you know?"

"Without you, I wouldn't have Gavin." Lianne smiled softly.

"Not true." I told her. "He'd have worked up the nerve eventually."

"Maybe not. This is Gavin we're talking about it." Bella teased.

"Hey." Lianne scowled delicately at her friend. "He'd have worked up the nerve."

Gavin met us at the orphanage. He had been there once before, when Lianne had brought him to help repair the roof.

A handful of children greeted us at the door, clamoring for treats. We had all filled our pockets, and grinned sheepishly at each other as we handed out the sweets.

"Now they won't sleep." Lianne remarked. "Oops."

Gwen shook her head, smiling. "They hoard them and trade the sweets for favors."

"Tell us a story?" A towheaded boy yanked at Gavin's shirtsleeve. "Please?"

"Once you're all settled in for bed." Gavin bargained.

"But it's early!" A girl complained. "It's still light out!"

"Barely." Gavin shrugged. "It will be a long story."

"Oh, c'mon." One of the older girl shoved the other girl up the stairs. "We'll settle in."

While Gavin entertained the children, Lianne, Bella, and I straightened up the kitchen and the other two rooms that made up the downstairs. We swept and mopped the floors and washed the dishes. Gwen had a few tasks for Lonnie, who was a fair enough handyman. After we had finished cleaning up, we all gathered around the kitchen table.

"Have you all eaten?" Gwen asked. "There's some left over from supper."

"We already ate." Bella answered, resting against her arm.

Lonnie exchanged a look with Gavin. "We could eat."

"I'll get it." I beat Gwen to the cupboards, taking out the pan of food.

"Thank you." Gwen sank back onto her chair.

I divided the leftovers between three plates, assuming that Kane would also want more food. I handed the three men, or boys, the plates. Kane muttered his thanks, not meeting my eyes.

"How were your days?" Bella made a face at the odd way the question sounded.

"I worked." Lonnie answered briefly.

"Me too." Kane added.

"I heard that Alanna beat you with a sword." Lianne elbowed me.

"I suppose I'm getting better." I shrugged. "Slowly."

"Alanna the _Lioness_?_" _Kane's eyes widened with shock.

"She only helps me some days. I have another teacher, a normal teacher." I explained.

"I finished my essay on crop cycles in northern Scanra." Gavin stood behind Lianne and rubbed her shoulders.

"What did your professor think of it?" Lianne smiled up at him endearingly.

Gavin smiled down happily. "He was pleased."

"I'm sure it was wonderful." Lianne's Conte blue eyes twinkled.

Gavin leaned down and kissed her nose. "It was."

"Oh, please." Bella muttered quietly, rolling her eyes.

"Adda, one of the nobles got a new stallion. He's magnificent." Lonnie leaned towards me. "All big and red and beautiful. You have to see him."

"Who's is it?" I stole a spoonful of beans from Kane's plate before he could smack my hand away.

"I forget. Maybe a cousin of the Duke's?" Lonnie shrugged. "Stefan says you can exercise him."

"Really?" I got all happy with the thought of it. "Is he fast?"

"I wouldn't know." Lonnie complained good-naturedly. "I'm not allowed to ride him, of course."

"That's 'cause you're all over when you ride." I repeated what Stefan had told me once. "You need to find your center of balance."

"Oh, shut up." Lonnie grinned. "Soon I'll find myself reporting to _you_."

"Well, Stefan said-" I joked, and he threw a crumb at me.

"I just swept that!" Bella glared at Lonnie.

"Sorry." Lonnie didn't look very sorry at all.

"Lianne, do you want me to take you home now?" Gavin asked, seeing her eyes drooping.

"Yes, please." Lianne stood tiredly. "Thank you, Gwen."

"No, thank you." Gwen smiled at Lianne.

"Come with us, too, Bella." Lianne pulled her friend up.

"Only if Gavin promises to share you." Bella deadpanned. "'Bye, Gwen."

"Are you coming?" Lianne asked me.

"No." I shook my head. "I'll walk back soon."

"It's not safe." Lianne scolded.

Bella laughed. "For who? Adda, or the man who tries to hurt her? I'm more worried about the man."

"I'll walk back with her." Lonnie reassured Lianne, then stood. "I'm getting some fresh air."

They left, leaving Kane, Gwen and me around the table.

"I still don't like you, you know." Kane reminded me, just in case I had forgotten.

"Kane!" Gwen rebuked.

"Well, I wouldn't want to put you out." My voice was laced with sarcasm.

"I only put up with you because I like your friends." Kane smugly shot back.

"I only put up with you because I feel bad for you." I knew that I had won; the shame of being pitied was far more than the shame of being used.

Kane scowled and stalked off, stomping off the stairs.

I wandered over to Gwen. She was still at the table, too tired to move. "How'd you even get him to stay with you so long?"

"I took him in when he was little." Gwen smiled fondly. "I was friends with his older brothers."

"Oh."

Gwen looked at me suddenly. "I hear talk of you, Adda. I can't even imagine growing up as a slave. Be that as it may, Kane's had a hard enough life."

"I don't think my life's been much harder than anyone else's." I answered slowly.

"No, you don't." Gwen squeezed my shoulder tenderly, smiling at me. She turned her smile to Kane and watched him wrestle around with Lonnie. "I'm almost glad for all that happened. Things worked out alright."

I sensed a story and I knew that she wanted to tell it. "What happened?"

"I was fifteen and I'd just gotten a job at a bakery." Gwen reminisced. "Kane's oldest brothers were my best friends and I was planning on marrying one of them. They both had jobs at the docks, so they couldn't take care of their brothers and sisters. I kept an eye on Kane already, but the other children practically lived in the streets."

"Kane was the youngest?" I asked curiously.

"I think so." Gwen smiled. "He looks grown now, but back then, he was all dimples and curls. He was a little scrap of a boy that hung on my skirts. The baker allowed him to follow me around and sit in corners as long as he didn't cause trouble and helped sweep up. The patrons adored him."

I snorted. "Hard to imagine."

"He has changed." Gwen admitted. "The brothers ran away that summer. They got on a ship and never came back." She sighed.

"Why did they leave?" I was genuinely interested.

"I'm sure they had their reasons." Gwen frowned. "The other children could take care of themselves, but Kane was still so young. His mother couldn't take care of him. She always had different men around and they weren't ever near decent. They started her on the drink and soon, she couldn't come off it. I took Kane for good, just to keep him away from her."

"Do you think they'll ever come back?"

"Kane's brothers? Maybe they have." Gwen shrugged. "I'll never know."

"I'm sorry." I tried to comfort her. "At least you have Kane."

"And my other children." Gwen looked up the stairs, able to hear the children's whispering voices. "They all have stories. They've all lost their families."

"And they've found a new one here." I shrugged. "It's good, what you're doing."

Lonnie returned, having gotten his fresh air. I suspected it had more to do with saying good-bye to Bella, judging by his smug, satisfied grin. "You ready, Adda?"

"I guess." I stretched when I stood. "I'll come back as soon as I can."

Gwen kissed my cheek. "Goodnight, Adda."

"Same to you." I left with Lonnie.

Lonnie didn't talk much, just smirked the entire way home. Knowing him, he wanted me to ask him what happened. I made him wait until we were almost to the stables.

"So?" I questioned.

"I think she likes me." Lonnie jumped at the chance to brag. "She kissed me."

"Did she?"

"Or...I kissed her. But she kissed me back." Lonnie revised. "Anyway, she asked me...or told me...to come to the Silver Thimble tomorrow. You're going, right?"

"That's the plan."

"Good." Lonnie nodded. "You'll have to help me. Can you use your...what's it called...dream-sending to help me out?"

"No! Goodnight, Lonnie." I left him standing by the stable and headed up towards the palace. I wasn't being cruel. Bella would be entertained by his pathetic attempts to woo her and she would _not _be entertained by images of him running through her brain. I was helping him, really.

**Tortall Fanfics To Read: Tales by Rainstorm Amaya Arianrhod, Cold Feet by the swoop, Daughter by Bookflower, and The Autumn Assignment by sivvussa.**

**Also, I was rereading Rite of Passage and I found a scene which I completely fell in love with. I think it's one of the best I've ever written. It's the scene between Master Salmalin and Adda at the end of chapter 13. Just thought I'd tell everyone that, and now that I have, I don't know why I wanted to.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

I was leaning against a tree, watching the monkeys swing across the trees and the beautifully colored birds flutter and chirp. I sighed and lazily closed my eyes. I was thinking about a dream that I'd been having, a dream so realistic that it was unnerving. I couldn't figure out why I was having it.

"It shouldn't be that hard." The goddess, Nadia, appeared next to me. She lounged gracefully on the grass.

I jumped. She hadn't visited me for a very long time and I hadn't been expecting her. "Were you sending the dream, then?"

"I am a dream-sender." Nadia rolled her eyes.

"Is it a fake one?" I questioned, leaning forward.

Nadia laughed. "No. Dream-senders can't send dream-lies to other dream-senders."

"Another thing that Master Salmalín doesn't know." I smiled.

"And let's keep it that way." Nadia nodded. "Other mages don't need to know _everything_ about us."

"I never even told him that I could send...dream-lies." I agreed with her.

"There's never been a rule about not telling, but every dream-sender has chosen not to." The goddess looked upwards at a dancing monkey.

"So..." I frowned. "The dream you sent me was one of your memories?"

"Yes. I looked in on you from time to time-"

"Wait," I raised my eyebrows. "I'm in the dream?"

"You're one of the children." Nadia sighed with exasperation.

"Oh." I bit my lip. "I thought it might have been...but...oh. Oh."

"There you go." Nadia patted my hand kindly. "I knew you'd get it eventually."

"But what do I do?" I asked her. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Whatever you want." Nadia began to fade. "You'll do the right thing."

I sat on the ground after she had gone, pulling up clumps of grass, muttering angrily. "Why did you even tell me?"

My eyes watered and I sniffled, trying not to cry. I stood, brushing off my breeches. I started to walk quickly. I had to find Master Salmalín.

I'd been in the Copper Isles since October. The tension that I'd felt in August was because of Alianne, Lady Alanna's daughter. She'd helped the raka overthrow the luarin government, and then she'd put a raka queen on the throne. Tortall had sent a delegation to witness the coronation and make treaties with the Copper Islanders. Since Master Salmalín was a sort of uncle to Aly, I'd been lucky enough to be part of the delegation.

I didn't do much in the way of making treaties, but I'd worked with their mages. I'd learned a couple tricks, things Master Salmalín hadn't taught me. His aversion to the darker aspects of magic weren't shared here. I'd been taught how to make blood-oaths, among other things. Raka mages also had a nifty way of hiding and disguising their work to hide it from other mages.

I found Master Salmalín in one of the council rooms. He was collecting his documents and writing utensils from the last meeting.

"Master Salmalín?" I paused at the doorway.

"Yes?" He answered, sliding his things into their carrying case. He knew it was me, otherwise he would have turned and bowed.

"Are you busy?" I asked hesitantly.

"Just a moment." He began to read over one last paper.

"Are you alright, Adda?" Queen Dovasary peered over the edge of the proclamation that she was reviewing. She was younger than me, but made an excellent ruler. She was reasonable, understanding and I admired her more than a little.

"Yes, your Majesty, I just need to talk to him." I smiled at her, but I knew that it was weak.

The mage finished and turned to me, taking in my pale face and trembling hands. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Can I talk to you?" I asked him quietly, so that I wouldn't be overheard. "It's important."

Master Salmalín nodded. "Of course."

We both bowed to Queen Dovasary, who nodded politely. I led Master Salmalín outside, where we could speak without being overheard.

"I need to go back to Tortall."

Master Salmalín looked at me with surprise. "What's wrong?"

"There's something I have to do."

"Are you in trouble? I may be able to help you."

"I'm not in trouble. I don't know." I frowned miserably. "I have a brother."

"What do you mean?" He asked confusedly. "I thought you didn't remember your family."

"I don't. Well, I suppose I do. Here." I grabbed his arm and began to show him the dream.

_A pack of children were squatting outside a doorway._

_"Give it back!" An angry boy shoved a smaller girl to the side, trying to grab the coin that the girl had snatched. The two other children laughed._

_"No, you'd best let me keep it!" The girl scowled through her freckles and clutched it to her chest._

_"Leave him alone." An older boy, fifteen years or so, cuffed the girl and took the coin from her. He gave the coin back to the boy and cuffed him as well. "Bertie, I've told you what I thought 'bout stealin'."_

_The boy scowled, an expression eerily similar to the girl's. "It was Adele's fault. She bet me."_

_"Then you were stupid for takin' her up on it."_

_"C'mon, we have to go." The oldest boy, almost a man, clapped the fifteen year old on the shoulder. "We can't be late again."_

_"Coming." The other boy followed his brother._

_"You was stupid for takin' me up on it." The girl mocked her brother, who lashed out at her. Adele ducked and Bertie hit one of the two younger girls, both who began crying._

_"Aw, shut up." Bertie jammed his hands in his pockets sheepishly._

_"You're a brat." Adele scowled at her brother._

_"It was your fault!" The boy snarled._

_"Will all a'ya shut yer traps?" A thin-boned woman with sharp lines on her face stepped into the doorway. "Take yer brother and get out a' here!"_

_Bertie quickly stepped forward and grabbed the younger boy's hand. "We're all hungry, Ma. Is there any food?"_

_The woman raised her hand and Bertie ducked out of the way. The children set off running down the street, stopping at a fountain. _

_"Here," Bertie dragged the youngest boy near the water and began to scrub his face. The boy wiggled and made faces. "Stop movin', you think Gwen's going to want to take you anywhere if you look like a guttersnipe?" _

_"Yah," The girl agreed with her older brother, eying the two younger girl's dirty faces. She splashed a bit of water on their hands and faces. "Wash yourselves up."_

_"Maybe there'll be stale bread at the bakery." Bertie told the girls. "But they'll only let you have it if you're clean. Hurry up now!"_

The dream ended there. Adda took her hand away from Master Salmalín and buried her hands in her pockets.

Master Salmalín stayed silent for a moment. "Is that one of your memories?"

"I guess so." I answered vaguely. "I'm Adele, I think. I thought my name was Adda."

"Maybe the men who kidnapped you changed your name when they sold you to Lord Amrold." Master Salmalín mused.

"I know one of them, though." I was shaking with anticipation, or nerves, or shock. I didn't know. "The youngest boy, his name is Kane. I know him from the orphanage. I got him a job and..."

"He's the one that kept getting in trouble." Master Salmalín remembered. "You didn't know then?"

"I just found out now." I took a deep breath. "Can I go back?"

"Of course, but..." Master Salmalín hesitated. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I thought I didn't want to know my family, but I already know Kane. I should tell him, or something. Maybe I won't. I just need to go back."

"Alright." Master Salmalín nodded. "I'll arrange your passage on the next ship that leaves for Tortall."

I breathed a sigh of relief, then quickly hugged Master Salmalín. "Thank you."

"It's my honor." Master Salmalín patted my shoulder awkwardly. "I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to ask my help."

"Well," I pulled away and grinned up at him. "I wasn't about to stowaway without telling anyone."

"I should hope not." He raised his eyebrows. "I would think that I've taught you better than that."

"I suppose." I shrugged. "I guess I'd better pack, just so I can be ready. I'll see you at supper."

I set off towards my rooms, cutting across the lawns and the crocodile bridge to save time. A part of me hoped that Master Salmalín wouldn't find a ship for a few days. I needed time to think the situation over, to decide if I was going to tell Kane or not. I knew that he wouldn't like it much.

* * *

I waited with my companions at the end of the dock, more than ready to begin my trip home.

Lady Alanna looked queasy just standing this close to a ship. I'd never thought, when I was a child listening to stories of the bold and courageous Lioness, that I'd even see her puking up meal after meal at the gentlest rocking motion. Daine was sitting on my trunk, her hand resting on her large pregnant belly. Master Salmalín stood with a hand on her shoulder and I stood facing them.

"I hope you sort things out with your brother." Daine smiled at me.

"Yah, me too." I nodded. "But thanks."

"Break it on him gently." Lady Alanna advised. "It will come as a shock to him."

"I will." I looked up at the ship.

"Be careful of what you eat." Master Salmalín admonished me. "These sailor types can eat anything, but I want _you _to be careful."

"Stop worrying, old man." Lady Alanna elbowed Master Salmalín. "She knows how to handle herself."

I smiled shyly at the Lioness, honored by the compliment. "I'll be careful, Master Salmalín."

Master Salmalín winced at my use of his title. "Adda-"

"I promise." I cut him off slyly. "Besides, my stomach is ready for anything after the spices they cook with here. When are you lot coming home?"

"As long as Jon will let us stay." Lady Alanna answered wryly. "I give it until March."

"I'll see you then." I hugged Daine. "Good luck."

Daine rubbed her belly. "I hope I don't need it."

"Bye." I wasn't sure how to say farewell to the Lioness, but she pulled me into some sort of handshake and hug combined.

The sailors took my trunk and I grinned up at Master Salmalín. "Don't do anything stupid, alright, sir?"

I bounded away before he could answer, trotting up the gangplank. I stood by the rail and watched the sailors ready the ship for sailing. As the ship began to pull away from the dock, I turned to get a last glimpse of Rajmuat.

The palace stood like a sentinel, its thick walls overlooking the city and offering protection. The gold domes of the temples and the higher, more extravagant roofs shone in the afternoon sun. All the colors of the houses, pink, gold, white, brown, grey, and the dark, luscious green of the jungle, mixed in my mind. They had made me giddy when I had first seen them.

Crows flew in among the sails and jeered at us. I made my worst face at them, then went down below to settle my trunk. I was on my way.

* * *

I woke up when I fell from my hammock. I landed hard enough to make my eyes water. The floor wouldn't stay underneath me and I rolled until I hit some crates. I scrambled to my feet and tried to keep my balance on the slippery wood. I grabbed my boots and put them on as I made it to the ladder.

The upper deck was chaos. The rain flashed down in torrents, soaking me within seconds. Waves crashed over the side of the ship as it rocked unsteadily on each enormous crest. The sailors, mere blurs in my vision, did what they could.

"Go back down!" One sailor caught my arm and slid on the deck, falling. I helped him up and he pushed me to the hatch. "Back down below!"

"Can I help?" I had to shout to be heard over the storm.

The sailor shook his head. "Go!"

I stumbled to the hatch, but lost my balance and rolled to the side. I was doused by a wave and sputtered up sea water. The ship rocked to her other side and I fumbled for something to hold. I grabbed a rope and held on tightly, even though it burned in my grasp. The ship dropped from under me and for a terrifying moment, I was weightless. When the ship settled itself down, I was in the water.

My head broke the surface and I coughed roughly. Waves kept splashing my head, keeping my vision dark. I held on to the rope, my only lifeline. I screamed once or twice, but the roar of the storm was too fierce. I kicked off my boots. The extra weight would only pull me down. With one agonizing pull, the ship yanked the rope from my hands. I clutched for it, but missed.

I fought to stay above the water, gasping for air. I kept reaching above me, as if someone would be there to pull me out. I began to tire and my strokes became weaker. I wondered if the sharks would eat me before or after I drowned. My hand hit something hard and I recoiled.

Squinting through the darkness, I saw a hatch cover floating on the water. I threw myself towards it and pulled myself aboard. I lay still, hoping that my little craft would not be overturned. I settled down and waited for the storm to end.

**Okay, this is the beginning of the new plot line and I've already got a lot of the next chapters mapped out in my head. The updates should come a lot faster since I won't be forcing things out. And I'm sorry I skipped so much time, but I was losing interest, and I just needed to do it.**

**I'm also toying with the idea of doing more with Adda's memories. I had way too much fun writing Nadia's dream in this chapter, and I think it would be fun if Adda started to remember more and more about her past. I don't know, is anyone interested?**

**And also, I want to thank all my readers for staying with me even though I've been slacking lately. Seriously, I write for you guys. I never would have kept on this as long as I have been if nobody was reading. So, thanks again.**


	24. Chapter 24

**This is the stuff I was waiting months to write!!**

**Chapter 24**

The sun beat down on me mercilessly. My throat was dry and swollen, my skin burned to a deep red. I shielded my eyes and tried to work up some moisture in my mouth. I had tried calling on my goddess. Of course, in the moment of my greatest need, she had not answered.

I did not know how to use my Gift to aid myself. I berated myself for not using it to return myself to the ship during the storm, but using my magic was not my first instinct. By the time the storm was over, I had lost both the ship and any sense of direction. When the sun rose the next morning, I knew which direction to travel in, but my hatch cover had been seized by a rapid current that I could not fight against.

That had been two days ago.

Master Salmalín had told me that using a word of power was extremely dangerous. I didn't want to attempt moving myself to dry land, because I might die an awful death in the process. I didn't even know the right words for that. I did know the right word for water, though, and if I wanted a fighting chance, I would have to use it.

I cupped my hands tightly and whispered the word of power. Nothing happened. I concentrated as hard as I could, then tried again. Water gushed into my hands and I slumped down, exhausted beyond belief. I gulped at the water, licking every drop off my hand. I rinsed my mouth with it before I swallowed.

I lay on the hatch cover, every drop of energy sapped from my veins. This would be the end for me.

I supposed that I'd see Karel and the rest of my crew. That wouldn't be all bad. I wouldn't have to deal with the effects of a nasty sunburn, or an angry Master Salmalín. I could see him now, shouting at me for falling off the ship.

I chuckled, covering my eyes with my hand so that the sun wouldn't bother me.

* * *

The lapping of waves at my toes woke me up. For a moment, the motion of the ocean seemed horribly wrong and I wondered if I had fallen off the edge of the world. Then, I opened my eyes and realized that my hatch cover was not moving because it was resting on the sand.

I lifted my head, too quickly, and was overcome by dizziness. I tried again, more slowly.

I was on a beach, with white sand stretching as far as the eye could see. I pulled my hatch cover out of the water so that it wouldn't be swept away, then stumbled towards the shade of the trees. The tree line seemed to move farther away from me as I walked towards it, but was probably only a hundred feet away.

I collapsed in the shade. My mind could only think of one thing. I needed water or I was going to die, for sure this time.

After I rested for a few minutes, I began to crawl through the trees. There had to be water somewhere. I listened closely, but only heard the chirping of birds and not the rushing of water. I kept crawling.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, I came upon a little stream. I rushed towards it, laughing quietly. I dipped my face in the water and took small mouthfuls, drinking slowly to keep from getting cramps. The cool water felt good on my burnt skin and I rubbed the water all over my body. My palms were crusted with dried blood from being scraped by the rope in the storm. I carefully scrubbed away the blood and trailed my hands through the water.

I really wasn't one to pray, but I thanked the gods for letting me live. I really hadn't wanted to die.

* * *

I woke roughly, a hand slipped over my mouth and hands grabbing at my arms. I looked around wildly, seeing five or sex men surrounding me. I twisted and fought, but I was still weak and there were too many of them. A gag was slipped in my mouth and a bag slipped over my head. I reached for my Gift, but my reserves were empty. I had used it all on that stupid word of power.

They forced me through the forest. I tripped and stumbled, unable to see where my bare feet trod. I began to limp, my feet sore from the sticks and stones. My hands were tied behind my back, so I had to rely solely on my captors to catch me when I fell.

The sounds of the forest dimmed and I felt as if I was going downwards into the earth. A cave, maybe, or a castle. I didn't trip so much. The ground was cold and smooth.

One of my captors began to speak. It was a strange language. I was sure that I'd never heard it before in my life. I listened to the sound their voices made, a dumbfounded expression on my face.

The bag was pulled off my head and I could see that I was in a large cave. The cave was lit by lamps and shadows danced on the walls. Men, stony-faced guards who did not even look interested by the disturbance, lined the walls in the spaces between doorways.

The men who were holding me pulled me to one end of the cave and dropped me at a man's feet. The man was tall, broad-shouldered, and fierce. He wore the same manner of dress that the others did; tight boots, baggy breeches, and a shirt with a thick vest. His commanding air convinced me that he must have been the leader.

The leader spoke more of those words that I did not understand. He shouted at me, his face turning almost as red as his hair.

"I don't understand." I was hoping that one of them spoke my language, so that they could translate. This had to be all a misunderstanding. I hadn't done anything wrong, unless the stream was a sort of holy water and I had offended their gods by drinking from it. Then I was in trouble.

My answer hadn't pleased the leader, probably because he couldn't understand it. He lost patience and backhanded me. I fell to the ground, my jaw throbbing and pounding. I gritted my teeth and tucked my head in.

No more blows came. Instead, I was pulled up from the ground and returned to my kneeling position. I was asked questions that I did not understand and I kept shaking my head confusedly.

A redheaded boy hesitated at one of the doorways. He asked a question and then moved to stand beside the leader. Although the boy was much smaller, he looked very much like the leader.

The leader raised his hand and I flinched back. If only I had my Gift back, I would blast him to pieces. I watched him warily.

The boy looked up at the leader and they talked for a moment. The boy started to argue with the man, but was rebuked. He quieted, even though his ears flamed a deep red.

The leader barked an order and one of the guards on the cave wall strode forward. He bowed and offered a whip to the leader.

My blood ran cold. A whip in the hands of that man would tear my back to shreds. I began to struggle against the cords that held my wrists, but they held strong. I began to beg. "Please, please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

The leader didn't listen to my words and raised the whip above his head. Out of the corner of my vision, I saw the boy's eyes widen and his jaw drop. He ran from the cave as fast as he could. My shirt was pulled up to expose my back. I stopped begging. It was doing no good anyway.

My eyes met those of the leader and I gazed at him levelly. His eyes glanced from my face to my bare back, then I closed my eyes tightly and steeled myself for the whip.

Nothing happened. After a moment, I opened my eyes and peered around. The leader was leaning against the wall, his head in his hands. The whip had been dropped to the ground in front of me. The other men were looking at each other, unsure of what to do. The leader murmured something and the men stepped away from me. I relaxed slightly.

The boy returned to the cave, pulling an old man behind him. The old man was wrinkled and frail, but he stood straight as an arrow. The boy pulled him to me and chattered excitedly.

The old man reached for my face and I flinched away, but he gently held my cheeks. He had the kindest, wisest eyes I'd ever seen. "Hello."

My eyes lit up. "You speak Common? What did I do?"

"I speak...little." He answered, frowning with concentration. "My pupil knew...your talk."

I nodded, relieved beyond belief that someone spoke my language.

"You no speak Rannson?" The old man questioned me.

"Rannson?" I tried saying the strange word, trying to imitate the accent. "No speak. What did I do wrong?"

I didn't think he had understood me, because he didn't answer my question. Instead, he tugged at my tunic, pulling it to cover my back again. His fingers paused at the edge of the fabric, moving it between his fingers. "Where you from?"

"Tortall." I answered.

They recognized that word, because they looked around wondrously. The leader shook his head and rattled off a string of comments.

"I fell off my ship." I flushed a little, realizing how stupid I sounded. "There was a storm."

"Ship." The old man nodded. "Where is ship?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "There was a storm. I lost it." I struggled to find different words that he could understand. "Rain. Ship gone."

The old man nodded uncertainly and translated my words as best as he could. The leader hooted and shook his head.

"He say...not truth." The old man stumbled over the words.

"Is truth!" I insisted. "Is truth!"

The old man repeated my words to the leader, but the intimidating man did not look convinced.

I still had my dream-sending. It didn't rely on my Gift for its power, so it was as strong as ever. I reluctantly pulled on it.

I didn't hold back and the men flinched as my memories hit them. I showed them the storm, and the slippery deck. I showed them the lightening that flashed across the sky and the terrifying thunder. I showed them the blackness of the water as I plunged downward and my unheard cries for help. I hit them with the full force of my desperation, and then my utter relief when I found the hatch cover. As a sort of payback for the hurt that my captors had inflicted on me, I let them feel the pain of my dehydration and of my sunburn. I didn't give them the memory of the word of power; they had no need to know that. I showed them the way the beach looked when I opened my eyes and saw my salvation. And then I waited.

They were all so astounded. I was reminded of Master Salmalín and the room of scholars who asked asked infinite questions. I hoped that these people wouldn't have so many questions.

Their reaction made me freeze with shock. They all began to kneel, touching their foreheads and whispering words that I did not understand.

"What?" I turned to the old man, but he had also knelt. The scholars and Master Salmalín had given me respect, but this was something different. The look in these people's eyes was reverence. I didn't like it much, but at least they weren't tossing me around anymore.

"Blessed Nadia." The old man whispered quietly, then followed it with his own language.

My eyes widened and a smile threatened to twitch across my face. They thought I was the goddess. Then, my own jaw dropped and my throat tightened.

This was the Other Land. Master Salmalín had said that Nadia had come from an unknown land from across the Eastern Sea. Nobody from the Eastern Lands had ever traveled to it. It would explain why I'd never heard of Rannson and why they were worshiping me.

Well, I'd have to pretend to be Nadia, in any case. At least until I was strong again and I could escape.

The leader moved to untie my bonds, carefully handling my wrists. He was voicing his apology, I assumed, looking almost afraid of me. He helped to pull me up and gestured to one of the soldiers, giving an order.

"Father is sorry." The boy bowed to me, looking at the old man. The old man nodded his approval, and the boy continued. "Did not know. Is sorry."

"It's alright." I resisted the urge to shrug. I didn't think it was a very godlike gesture.

"Did not think...gods...sun." The boy's brows knit together and he touched my sunburned arm gently.

"Yah." I answered. "I guess we do."

I hoped the gods wouldn't take offense to me posing as one of them. Surely they would understand the situation and give me a little lenience. Maybe Nadia would stick up for me. She sure had an interest in me, for some reason.

The leader, the boy's father, murmured something to the boy and the old man. They nodded.

"Come," The old man gestured. "We give...offer."

"Alright." I followed them down the cave tunnel that he had indicated.

The leader led the way, turning his head every once in a while to make sure I was following. He gave an arm to the old man for support, respectfully slowing his pace to accommodate the old man's weaker gait. The redheaded boy walked beside me, looking up and grinning as if it was Midwinter.

The cave tunnel led to a room that was lined with luscious fur skins and brightly lit by a fireplace. I couldn't tell where the smoke left the room, but the air was fresh and clear.

"Down." The old man gestured to a chair. "Food?"

I smiled. "Yes, please."

The boy settled himself at my feet, still watching me with awe. I felt a twinge of guilt. He would be very disappointed when he realized that I was a fake.

Two young girls carried in platters of food. They knelt, offering the platters to me. My stomach growled loudly and the boy grinned. The leader nudged the boy with the toe of his boot and the boy's smile disappeared instantly, but his green eyes still glittered mirthfully.

I reached for a piece of bread, then looked up. Ten pairs of eyes followed my every movement. It was slightly unnerving. "Sit. Down." I gestured for the old man to sit in one of the chairs, then to the leader. The old man sat, but the leader knelt.

The bread was soft and delicious, flavored with something like cinnamon. I tried not to eat too quickly. Gods probably had perfect table manners. I should have asked Daine. She'd spent a while in the Realms of the Gods. Her father was a god. She would have known.

Then again, Daine was the child of a god and she didn't have perfect table manners. I ate a little faster, trying to ignore the watching eyes.

"You want?" I looked at the leader and the old man, motioning to the food. They all shook their heads. I shrugged.

I tried a strange kind of fruit that tasted sweet and rich. There were berries I recognized and meat that was tough, but warm. I ate more of the bread that I had liked and drank almost a full pitcher of the juice.

After I was done, I nodded gratefully to the serving girls and to the leader. "Thank you."

The girls rose and curtsied, then backed away and left the room.

The boy touched my leg to get my attention. "Blessed Nadia, why...you come?"

I thought about it quickly, then decided to give him an answer that he wouldn't understand. "Fortune provided that I...might grace some of my followers...with my presence."

The boy looked confused and I was satisfied.

The leader asked the old man something. The way he dropped his eyes and spoke quietly, I could tell that he respected the older man. The old man nodded and answered back. They continued their conversation, speaking rapidly. They glanced over at me often enough for me to know what they were talking about.

I looked at the boy. "I am Nadia. Who are you?"

The boy concentrated for a moment, then his eyes lit up and he grinned. "I am Malachi."

"Malachi." I grinned at him. Then, I turned to the leader and the old man. "Who are they?"

The boy pointed at the bigger man, the leader. "My father, Baed Cormac."

The leader looked up briefly when he heard his name, then turned his attention to the old man.

Malachi pointed at the old man. "Trant Niall."

The two men finished their talk and turned to me. The old man bowed his head politely. "Offer a...water?"

"Pool?" Malachi supplemented. He shook his head when I didn't understand. "Come."

I followed him down a network of tunnels. Malachi seemed to know exactly where to go, although the doors and hallways confused me. He knocked twice on a door, then entered.

Four young girls were hurrying to heat water and fill a bath. They fumbled through the work, as if they did not do it often. Malachi left the room, shutting the door tightly behind him. I began to take off my clothes, wincing as the fabric scratched my skin. One of the girls noticed my discomfort and moved to help me undress.

I dropped my salty clothes in a pile and slipped into the bath with a sigh. The water was just warm enough to soothe my muscles without hurting my burn. I leaned back to dip my hair in the water and accepted the soap that was offered to me.

As I bathed, I listened to the girls talk. The language was harsh, beautiful, guttural and lilting at the same time. It made me think of brooks trickling over pebbles and eagles flying over tall mountains.

I began to drift off, but shook myself awake. The girls saw my weariness and offered me a towel. I stood from the bath and began to dry myself off.

The youngest girl went to a shelf and began to pull out garments. She held one up to me, but the oldest girl whispered something in her ear. The little girl blushed and nodded, leaving the room.

I covered myself with the towel, shivering. The girls pulled me toward the fireplace where the heat radiated and warmed my body. They talked to me, chattering like magpies even though I never answered.

The little girl came back, a pile of clothes in her arms. The three other girls gathered around her and unfolded the garments. They handed them to me one at a time. There was a kind of cream shift, which was handed to me first. I slipped it on over my head and it fell to my thighs. Next, I put on two long pairs of cream stockings which reached to the bottom of my shift. The girls tied them in place with thin pieces of leather. They helped me to step into an cream gown with soft blue embroidery and blue ribbon lacing on the sleeves and loose corset. The boots were soft leather, with thin soles, that laced tight to my legs.

After I was dressed, the girls pulled me down to sit in a chair. They began to brush my hair, rubbing sweet smelling oils through it. They massaged the oils into my scalp and began to braid my hair, weaving ribbons into the braids.

Two knocks sounded on the door and Malachi opened the door. Immediately, the eldest girl began to scold him, probably for not waiting for a reply before barging in. Malachi just laughed, shrugging off the scolding. He bowed deeply to me, then began to speak.

"Baed Cormac...want...you come?"

"Alright." I nodded, the girls just finishing my hair. "I come."

I stood, thanking the girls with a smile and a nod, then followed Malachi into the tunnels.

Malachi bit his lower lip. "Need...help. Blessed Nadia, you help?"

"Help with what?" I began to feel ill. I could not help these people, not if they wanted a goddess' power.

"Have much...hurt." Malachi answered uncertainly. "War. Much war."

I was no healer. I was in trouble.

"Stop war?" Malachi asked hopefully. "Please?"

He believed that I could help him. I couldn't just give him hope and then refuse to help. "I help."

I was in so much trouble.

Malachi beamed brightly. "Much thanks."

"No problem." My throat felt tight.

Malachi knocked on the door that we stopped near, waited briefly for a response, then went to open it just as it was opened for him. Baed Cormac had opened it and bowed to me. I nodded back and followed Malachi into the room. A wide-eyed girl peered around the legs of Baed Cormac, smiling with two missing front teeth.

"Sister." Malachi tugged his sister's braid affectionately. "Maire."

"Hello, Maire." I smiled at the girl, who blushed and buried her face in her father's legs.

Malachi pointed to a girl in the corner, who lay sleeping on a mattress piled with quilts and furs. "Woman of...my brother. Baede Eilis."

Malachi walked quietly forward and knelt by the girl, who was probably just a bit older than me. He carefully picked up a wrapped bundle that lay by the girl's side. Eilis started and opened her eyes, but Malachi reassured her quickly. He said something else, and I heard the name Nadia in his sentences. She looked at me with wonder.

Malachi stood and brought the bundle over to me. I could see that it was a newborn baby, probably only a few days old. "Son of my brother. Baed Gannon."

I looked down at the infant and couldn't help but smile. He was still red and wrinkly from birth and his eyes were shut tightly. "Beautiful."

Malachi nodded proudly, although he most likely did not know the meaning of the word. He returned little Baed Gannon to his mother, who anxiously surrounded the baby in the warmth of her arms.

Baed Cormac motioned to a mattress by the fireplace. "You need sleep, Blessed Nadia?"

"Please." I nodded, crossing over to the mattress. I looked to him uncertainly and he nodded. I lay down and covered myself with the furs. I was asleep in seconds.

**Review so I know what you guys think!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Well, school started and I'm officially a junior. It's kind of weird to think about being a senior next year, and then going to college. I'm thinking southern California, but I haven't decided yet. I need to figure out what to do with my life...  
**

**Chapter 25**

I woke gently, a tiny body pressed firmly into my side. I opened my eyes and saw Maire sleeping with her face turned to the fire. The room was empty except for me, Maire, Baede Eilis and her infant son. I could not tell how long I had been sleeping, but I felt very well-rested.

Baede Eilis said something and I looked at her, uncertain. She smiled at me and I smiled back. She motioned me closer. I stood carefully, trying not to jostle Maire, and smoothed out the wrinkles in my gown as I crossed to the other side of the fireplace. Baede Eilis motioned for me to sit and I sat.

Baede Eilis picked up her son and trustingly laid him in my arms. "Gannon."

"Baed Gannon." I repeated. The baby was awake this time, his fists pulled close to his chest. He mewed and wiggled deeper into the quilts that surrounded him. I ran my fingers over the soft, reddish fuzz that covered the top of his head.

Baede Eilis reached to me and ran her fingers lightly over my cheek. She gave me a knowing look. "Blessed Nadia? No."

My blood ran cold. My mouth opened, but I could not force the lie out. I closed my mouth, my eyes still locked on hers.

Malachi burst in the room, only remembering to be quiet after he had slammed the door open. He looked over to the mattress where Maire lay asleep, then at us.

I looked from Malachi to Baede Eilis, waiting for her to expose me. I felt for my Gift; it had only partly returned. It would have to be enough.

Malachi spoke in a rush, glancing over at me periodically. Baede Eilis nodded once or twice. My blood still ran cold.

Finally, Malachi finished and Baede Eilis answered him. Her answer was short and Malachi didn't look too alarmed. Instead, he smiled and gestured for me to follow him. I looked to Baede Eilis and she nodded at me.

"War." Malachi spoke once we were outside the room. "Baed Cormac need...help."

"With the war?" I asked. "What kind of war?"

He didn't know how to answer, if he even understood me.

"War?" I questioned. "What war?"

Malachi gave me a funny look. Then, he touched his chest. "Dulamark. Dulamark...war to Etterrite."

"Oh." I nodded.

Malachi stopped at an old wooden door, cracked and warped. He knocked, then twisted his hands in his untucked shirt. He looked nervous.

The old man, Malachi's teacher, opened the door. He nodded when he saw me, then pulled the door open wider to reveal the oldest man I had seen in my entire life.

The ancient man's skin was wrinkled and creased like an old scroll. He was hunched over like a skeleton and his bones almost stuck out from his skin. He didn't look like he had any teeth left and I couldn't see any hair to speak of. His eyes were glazed over and unfocused.

He spoke, a thin and reedy voice coming from his shriveled throat. "I never thought that I would live to see this day." He bowed his head towards me. "Blessed Nadia."

I sighed, thankfully stepping forward and bowing slightly.

Baed Cormac carefully rested his hand on the ancient man's shoulder and spoke.

The ancient man nodded. "My name is Oengus and I am pleasured to be at your service, Blessed One. Baed Cormac wishes to know if you intend to help us in our war against the Etterrites."

Really, I just wanted to get back to Tortall., but if I was a goddess, I would help my people. "I will do what I can."

"Is the curse ended? Are the gods returning?" Something in the man's cloudy eyes shifted. It looked like hope.

"I can't say." I dodged the questioned.

"Two hundred and fifty years since a god's feet has touched our soil." Oengus closed his eyes and looked distant. "My grandfather's father walked with you many years ago. He told my father of the dark times when the curse was first laid. He spoke of them with horror and despair. Never again, said the gods. We thought we would live in darkness forever. You have come to aid us in our time of need, a time when the Etterrites murder our women and children and destroy the scarce knowledge left to man. I am forever in your service, Blessed Nadia."

It was her fault, Blessed Nadia's. This was why she had freed me from the fief, why she had been so thrilled when a dream-sender was born. She wanted me to save her land. She could have just told me so.

I didn't know if I was supposed to keep pretending to be a god. If Oengus knew what he was talking about, the gods had abandoned the Other Land two hundred and fifty years ago. I could probably get away with my impersonation for a little while longer, if Baede Eilis didn't say anything. My Gift hadn't quite returned; it would be better to wait.

"I'm not Blessed Nadia." I quickly said. "I didn't mean to say I was, but I thought you'd kill me unless I was a god."

Oengus' flinched as if I'd struck him. Malachi's teacher understood enough of that to look alarmed. Baed Cormac just looked confused. Oengus translated for him.

I readied my Gift.

For a second, Baed Cormac looked furious. Then, he began to roar with laughter. He slapped my shoulder.

"Baed Cormac says that he is almost pleased." Oengus seemed amused. "He didn't know how to treat a goddess. He felt as if he was walking on... eggshells."

Malachi grabbed my arm, turning me to face him. "Not Blessed Nadia?"

"No." I shook my head. "I'm Adda. I'm from Tortall and my ship really did sink. I didn't mean to come here at all, but I think Blessed Nadia wanted me to."

"Baed Cormac will find a way to put you to use." Oengus told me, after Baed Cormac had spoken. Baed Cormac left the room, still chuckling. "I will teach you Rannson. Sit. You as well, Malachi."

We both sat obediently at Oengus's feet.

**Curiousity. Where are all my readers from? I don't needed addresses, or even towns, I'm just kind of curious. I'll start: Boston area, MA.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Thank you to all of my reviews, especially to the ones who answered my question as to their location. The results:**

**Philadelphia Area, PA Oregon, San Diego, CA, ****California Central Valley, ****SW Ohio, **** Myrtle Beach area, SC, **

**from a little north of New York City by way of San Antonio, Texas (I'm not exactly sure if this is a fun way of saying "I'm not telling." My brain is having a bit of trouble working it out), **

**Long Island, NY ****Riverview, Florida, Kentucky (I'm sorry that you had to leave CA), Springfield in Illinois, Delaware, Yorkshire, England, Denmark, ****Victoria in Australia, New South Wales in Australia,  
**

**Anyway, hope you like this chapter. It was loads of fun to write.**

**Chapter 26**

"Another one." Malachi reached for the bandage that I handed him.

I swabbed at a soldier's wound. The soldier didn't look very old. He was probably younger than me. "Have we even a chance?"

"We'll hold out." Malachi nodded determinedly.

I held a pad against the soldier's wound to stop the bleeding. I pressed the pad down harder than I had to and pulled back when the boy winced. "Sorry, does that feel better? Malachi, I should be out there. I could do more there than in here."

"Da doesn't want to waste the element of surprise." Malachi patted my arm, accidentally leaving a smear of blood that I ignored. "Be patient."

I looked at the bodies being carried in. We could help some. Others were brought in to die.

"Healers!" A soldier called out. He was helping two other soldiers to carry a comrade. They laid him on a pallet. He was bleeding badly.

"I'll go." Malachi rushed to them.

I clenched my teeth when the man began to scream. It was a sharp, grating noise. The young soldier that I was helping began to tremble. Tears leaked from his eyes.

"Malachi, keep him quiet!" I yelled. The horrible screaming continued. I hurriedly finished up the bandage and ran to the man's side. I began sending the calming dream even before I knelt at his side. As the man died under my hand, I looked around the room. The young healers had frozen and were watching us intently, until a glare from the head healer returned them to their work.

I rocked back on my heels, trying to breathe quietly. Malachi's eyes were closed. I reached over and nudged him. "You alright?"

"You sent it to me too." Malachi's eyes opened. "Was it always like that?"

"No." I shook my head. "Not always. You alright?"

Malachi nodded slowly and stood up, collecting himself. "Come on. We don't have time..."

"Malachi!" Baed Cormac bellowed, bursting into the room. His massive broadsword dripped with crimson blood. "Malachi, now!"

Malachi bolted to his father's side, dodging around the soldiers who grouped around their leader. Baed Cormac leaned down to speak in the boy's ear. Malachi's face twisted with horror and fear, then he swallowed bravely and nodded steadily.

Baed Cormac squeezed Malachi's shoulder, nodded at me, then left the room. His soldiers followed.

Malachi walked slowly to me. Once he was close enough that no one could overhear, he began to speak in a low voice. "We have to go to the safe room. The damned Etterites made it past our front line."

"What about them?" I looked at the wounded soldiers lying all around us, and the young healers who worked diligently even though they were hardly more than children.

"My father and his men will do what they can." Malachi grabbed my arm. "We have to do what he says."

I bit my lip furiously as we hurried from the cavern. Malachi did not relinquish his grip on my arm. "You can let go of me."

Malachi did not let go, but broke into a fast trot. "I would stand and protect my people if there was not something greater at stake. This is not our only settlement; it is one of many. This is not our last chance; we have many more. This is not the only plan; it is but a tiny piece."

Malachi rushed into the armory, returning moments later with two swords. The light from the lamp on the wall reflected of the cold metal and illuminated his face. He solemnly handed one of the swords to me. "Those who sacrifice their lives do so willingly."

I took the sword and bit back my objections. "I'm sorry."

We heard the shouts and yells down the tunnel behind us and began to run.

There were two safe rooms, one large cave for the people and a secret one for Baed Cormac's family. The smaller safe room was deep in the center of the caves. The stone in that area of the earth was solid and unbreakable. Legend had it that the gods themselves had molded the stone to form the chamber in the rocks. I'd seen the safe room once before, and I could only believe that the gods really had done it.

Malachi led us deeper and deeper into the mountain, never stopping to orient himself or rethink a pathway. He knew these tunnels better than the back of his hand.

He began quietly counting his steps down the length of one tunnel. When he reached one hundred and eighty-seven, he felt for the side of the tunnel and pulled the disguised lever. The small door opened and we slipped inside.

"Who's there?" An urgent, scared voice pierced the blackness.

"Malachi and Adda." Malachi quickly answered, shutting the door behind us. "Are Maire and Gannon here?"

"Yes." Baede Eilis' voice came from one corner.

There were no lamps in the safe room. A flame would burn up the oxygen in the room. There were only four air vents, and there was no reason to tempt fate. I raised my hand and effortlessly made a bubble of soft yellow light.

Maire and Eilis winced at the light, their eyes used to the dark.

"Sorry." I dimmed the light. "Want me to get rid of it?"

"No!" Maire scampered to me, grabbing my arm and gazing at the light.

Malachi squatted next to Baede Eilis. "Is there any food?"

Baede Eilis dug through a pack and handed him some dried fruit.

"Thanks." Malachi stuffed some of the fruit in his mouth. "You want some?"

"No, thanks." I shook my head. "Not hungry."

"You need to eat." Eilis shifted her baby in her arms.

"I'm really not hungry." I changed the color of the light in my hand to entertain Maire. "Which color do you want?"

"Blue." Maire answered automatically. "Like the sky."

"Was it bad up there?" Baede Eilis whispered to Malachi, trying to keep Maire from hearing.

Malachi nodded slightly, his face stony. "The worst so far. It's bad."

"How is your father?" Eilis handed Malachi some more fruit.

"He sent us down." Malachi tried hard to keep the fear from his voice. "He was fine then."

"Papa?" Maire suddenly turned away from the light and to the conversation that wasn't meant for her ears. "He's not going to die, is he?"

Eilis and Malachi exchanged a subtle look.

"Is he?" Maire sounded desperate.

"He's fighting, Maire." Eilis tried to explain the situation to the seven-year old. "That's dangerous and he could get hurt."

"He could die." Maire fixed her gaze on my light. "Like my mama and like Lauchlan."

Eilis' face crumpled for a second, then she composed herself. "Yes, like them."

Malachi had told me that his mother had died birthing Maire. He had only been six years old and although the pain of losing his mother would never dull, he didn't mind talking about it.

Lauchlan was different. Nobody talked about him.

"Do you want me to show you the sky?" I asked Maire. She had lived in the caves for much of her life and could hardly remember it.

"Please." Maire grabbed my hand.

I gave her a bright blue sky and dark green jungle trees with leaves that swayed in the breeze. I put chattering monkeys in the trees and wildly colorful birds in the bushes. A baby monkey swung and fell, falling ungracefully into the bushes. I could sense Maire's giggle even though I could not hear it. The baby monkey climbed from the bushes ashamedly. Its mother inspected it, scolding as she did so.

And then the dream took a direction of its own.

_"C'mon, Bertie, wait for us!" Adele, or the young Adda, ran after her older brother. The two little girls followed them, holding hands and crying noisily._

_"Go away!" Bertie shouted, covering his nose with a hand. "Just leave it be!"_

_"Let me have a look at it!" Adele caught up with Bertie and stopped the slightly bigger boy. She pulled his hand away from his face and dabbed at the blood with a grimy scrap of cloth from her pocket._

_Bertie shied away. "I don't want that dirty ol' rag near my face!"_

_"Not just some dirty ol' rag!" Adele scowled, squinting at the corner of the cloth. "You can make out some embroidery, if you look real close! Asides, what else you got?"_

_Bertie gave in and let her wipe the blood away in the middle of the crowded market street. The two little girls peered up at their brother anxiously._

_"Does it hurt?" One of them asked. The smallest girl nodded solemnly._

_"Not at all." Bertie scowled. "Listen, if anyone asks, a big boy did this, alright? A real rat, a real stinker, alright?"_

_"But Ma-"_

_"No." Bertie cut off the girl. "A stinker did it."_

_"Alright." The girl nodded and nudged her sister. "We'll say it."_

_"Good." Bertie nodded._

_"Hold still." Adele ordered. "And hold this to your face."_

_"I have to touch it?" Bertie winced. Adele glared._

The memory-dream ended and I closed my eyes, trying to remember every little piece of it.

"What was that?" Eilis' voice was shaky. "Why did you show that to us?"

"I didn't mean to." I opened my eyes with surprise.

"What were they saying?" Malachi wondered. "Where were they?"

Maire tugged at my arm. "Who hit the boy?"

I hesitated and Baede Eilis cut in. "Enough questions. Maire, come and lay down next to me. Malachi, you should get some sleep as well."

"I don't think I could." Malachi helped Eilis to spread a blanket for Maire.

Despite his objection, both Malachi and Maire were asleep within the next hour. They had snuggled down into the blankets and Malachi was gently snoring.

Eilis chuckled softly, smoothing Malachi's ruffled hair. Her chuckle was cut short as she glanced upwards worriedly.

"It will be fine." I tried to reassure her. I reached out to dim the light a little. I had secured my magical light to the wall of the safe room so that I didn't have to hold it.

Gannon woke and began to whimper. Eilis picked him up and moved to sit next to me. "Can't sleep?"

"No." I shook my head. "If you want to sleep, I can look after the baby."

Eilis shook her head. "I wouldn't be able to sleep either."

I looked at the tiny boy in Eilis' arms. "Would you mind if I held him?"

"Not at all." Eilis settled Gannon in my arms. "You've done this before, haven't you?"

"Done what?" I responded.

"You have something in your eyes, something like what hides in Baed Cormac's eyes and in the soldiers'. It's a knowing."

"It's in yours too." I didn't let my gaze falter.

"But you have done this before?"

I nodded shortly. "I was a slave. We rebelled. It was...a bit like this."

"I'm sorry." Eilis leaned against my shoulder, silently offering her comfort.

I shrugged. "It was alright."

"But your scars..." Eilis let her hand run gently over my back. "Baed Cormac told me."

I focused my attention on the infant in my arms. He had grown longer and heavier in the months that I had been in the Other Land. His reddish hair was growing in thick and dark and his eyes were bright. "It wasn't that bad."

The older girl rested her head on my shoulder, letting her son suck on her finger. "His papa was a good man. He was a good brother and a good son and a good husband. Gannon will never know him."

I could hear the tremor in her voice and I put my arm around her. The darkness seemed to edge close in around us, surrounding us with its inky tendrils.

The door burst open and I stretched out my hand before I knew what I was doing.

"Don't blast me, girl." Baed Cormac grunted. He was supported by two soldiers, who practically dragged him into the safe room. A girl followed them, clutching a sack.

I quickly handed Gannon back to Eilis and stood to help close the door again.

"Are you alright?" Eilis stood shakily.

I brightened the light on the wall and saw the full extent of Baed Cormac's injuries.

"Just banged up a little." Baed Cormac panted.

I couldn't help it. I snorted.

Baed Cormac shot me a wry grin and leaned his head back on the stone floor.

"I've got to help him." The girl pushed aside the two soldiers and dropped to her knees by the big man. She fumbled through the sack, pulling out some herbs. Her hands were shaking.

Malachi and Maire were awake, staring at their father with wide fearful eyes.

"Listen to me." Baed Cormac hissed with pain as the healer pulled his shirt away from his wound. "There's a door in here, one that leads to the outside. I don't know where it is. Raes Oengus told me before he died."

"He's dead?" Malachi blanched with horror.

Baed Cormac ignored the interruption. "You have to find it. You have to get to Lake Lorcan."

"But that's five hundred miles! What about the Etterites?" Malachi protested. "And what about you?"

"I'll be fine." Baed Cormac reassured him. "Little Evey is going to take good care of me." He offered the young healer a smile, but she was too nervous to return it. "Listen to me, son, you have got to get them to Lake Lorcan. I've nothing else to say about it."

Malachi's lower lip trembled. He bit it and nodded. "I'll get them there."

"Adda," Baed Cormac turned to me. "Keep them alive."

"Will do." I promised.

Baed Cormac reached a hand towards Eilis. "Bring me my grandson."

Eilis obediently brought Gannon close to his grandfather.

"Sweet baby." Baed Cormac ran his finger along the side of the baby's cheek. "Like his sweet mother."

Eilis smiled sadly.

"And strong like his father." Baed Cormac carefully patted Gannon's cheek. "Smart like his uncle. He'll do well."

"Papa!" Maire threw her arms around Baed Cormac. He winced in pain, but hugged her back.

"You'll be good?" Baed Cormac kissed the top of his daughter's head. "I will see you at Lake Lorcan. Adda, try and find that door now."

"Right." I stood and bathed the walls of the safe room with bright light. I quickly scanned the walls and found the one inconsistency with little trouble. It was a small crack that ran from the ceiling to about halfway down the wall. I crossed the cave to it and ran my fingers along the crack. I tried to pry it apart, but it didn't open. "How do I open it?"

"Let me." Malachi ran his fingers down the crack and the crack widened instantly. He smirked at me. "It's my bloodline."

The crack widened into a tunnel that was only tall enough to crawl through. It reminded me of another tunnel, one that hadn't led to happiness. I swallowed my fear.

"I don't want to go up there!" Maire determinedly crossed her arms. "I want to stay with Papa."

"Go, Maire." Baed Cormac ordered. "I will see you all at Lake Lorcan. I will miss you in the meantime. Go now!"

"I'll go first, I guess." I lifted myself into the tunnel. "Malachi, you take up the rear." I lifted up baby Gannon while Malachi helped Eilis and Maire to scramble into the tunnel. I made sure to leave a light for Baed Cormac, the two soldiers, and the healer. It would last a couple of hours, at least.

As we crawled up into the darkness, the door slid shut behind us.

**So I think I might start replying to reviews better. I'll answer questions in each update, just in case someone else had the same question, and other reviews I'll just review-reply.**


	27. Chapter 27

**I never realized how fast time passed between updates. School just keeps me really busy. I'll try to update quicker.**

**Chapter 27**

Maire stared up at the sky. It wasn't blue like she'd imagined, or like we'd all told her. It was dark and grey, the forecast of a storm.

I turned to help Eilis out of the hole. Baby Gannon was sleeping, face nestled into his mother's neck. Malachi sprung from the ground, replaced the tunnel's cover, and surveyed the surrounding countryside. We were at the base of the the hills, which loomed above us and cast a shadow that hid us from the late afternoon sun. The grass was tall, almost to my waist.

"I'm not sure which way." Malachi frowned deeply. "If I could get a bird's eye view, I would know."

"We'll have to climb them." I nodded towards the hills. "We can't risk taking a wrong turn."

"We'll be exposed." Malachi's brow furrowed and he brushed the hair away from his eyes. "Eilis, you should stay down here."

"No." I shook my head. "They need to stay with me."

"Malachi can't go off on his own." Eilis said determinedly. "It's almost dark. We can all go."

Malachi and I exchanged glances, then I nodded. "But we've got to hurry."

We began to ascend the hill. It wasn't as tall as a mountain, or as steep, but it was still a strain. Maire began to tire, but she kept up well for a seven-year old. We were all constantly on the alert, scanning our surroundings for potential threats.

This war was not about freedom or riches or the right, it was purely about survival. Two hundred and fifty years ago, the gods had abandoned the Other Land. Some of the people, in their despair, had blamed the mages and scholars for their pride. They were called the Etterites, after the City of Etterik, where their leader had gathered his first followers. They began the purge, murdering scholars and mages and the children of mages. Likewise, some of the mages went out for revenge and began murdering the guilty along with the innocent. About fifty years of bloodshed had followed, only slowing when the persecuted half left their cities and went into hiding.

But they were not quick to forget what they had suffered. Stories of the atrocities committed were passed along from generation to generation, along with the meager bits of knowledge retained from the purge. The grudges on both sides were not weakened over time, as the Etterites continued to murder Lorcanites whenever they found them. Twenty years before the present, Baed Cormac's father had reclaimed their city and begun to rebuild. The war had immediately started and the Etterites attempted to press back their adversaries.

"You're doing some heavy thinking." Eilis lightly brushed my shoulder to get my attention. "Are you worried?"

"A bit." I shrugged. "As long as we stick together, we'll be fine."

"But surely you couldn't protect us from a hundred men?" Eilis shifted her son to her other shoulder and patted him comfortingly. He was doing well, hardly crying at all.

"I think I could." I nodded confidently. I really wasn't so sure, but my Gift was as strong as ever, and I'd done other hard things. I'd used a word of power.

Baed Cormac and his family hadn't been like Master Salmalín and the Tortallan scholars. They had had interest in my powers but hadn't wanted to analyze or study me. Since Baed Cormac hadn't wanted anyone to find out about me, I had hardly used my Gift at all.

"I'm tired." Maire announced softly, feet dragging on the ground.

"We're almost there." Eilis smiled at her encouragingly.

"And we'll be able to see the whole land when we get up there." Malachi clapped Maire's shoulder softly.

"Really?" Maire sighed.

I reached into the bag and pulled out a small piece of bread. "Here, chew on this. It'll help you feel better."

"Thank you." Maire began to gnaw on the bread.

Malachi ran up ahead, still staying in sight. When we reached him, we were at the top of the hill. Malachi was standing thoughtfully, observing the area.

"Have our path planned yet?" I crouched on the ground to give my legs a rest.

"I think we'll head towards the river." Malachi responded. "We can follow it to Lake Lorcam."

I nodded my agreement. "We will need the fresh water. Could we use the current?"

"I'm not sure. I think there are some falls that we would have to watch out for." Malachi paused. "What's that?"

I looked where he pointed. It was a small blotch of movement below us on the foothills. I squinted and frowned. "Could be an army. We've got to go."

I swung the pack onto my back and secured the straps. "C'mon, Maire, we've got to run now."

"It will be like flying." Eilis pulled Maire up. "Malachi, take her hand."

It was a bit like flying. We threw ourselves down the hill, hoping our legs could move fast enough to keep up. I took Maire's other arm and half the time, it seemed like her feet weren't even touching the ground.

At the bottom, we collapsed in a pile, gasping to catch our breath. Maire lie with her face buried in the grass, shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Eilis gently touched Maire's head. She rolled over, giggling. Malachi snorted with amusement.

"We need to keep moving." I suggested, once I had caught my breath. "We might be able to go a couple of miles before dark."

"We can make it to the river." Malachi stood up, stretching. "Let's go then."

* * *

I sat up quickly, grabbing for my knife.

"What's wrong?" Eilis reached for me, frightened. "Did you hear something?"

I took a deep breath and calmed myself, blinking the sleep from my eyes. "No. It was nothing."

The sky was beginning to lighten to a murky grayish blue. It was cold, but would most likely warm up. We hadn't grabbed blankets from the safe room. We hadn't really had time, but I wished that we had. Our vests and thick socks didn't keep all the chill out.

"We should get an early start." I pulled my boots on. "Were you awake?"

"Gannon started to cry." Eilis patted the now-sleeping child. "I'm afraid that he'll cry too loudly. May I borrow your knife?"

I handed it to her. "You aren't going to cut his voice out, are you?"

Eilis refrained from rolling her eyes. She took Gannon's blanket and cut a small hole in the corner. "I'm making a sling."

"Oh." I took my knife back when she was done and slid it back into its sheath. "They used them a lot in the Copper Isles."

"Not so much in your homeland?"

"I'm not sure." I shrugged. "I think they're very useful."

Eilis quickly tied the blanket into a sling and hung it around her shoulders. She carefully lay baby Gannon inside and arranged him comfortably. "And very nurturing. Have you thought about children?"

I stifled a laugh. "With who?"

"Anyone, I don't know. Most women think about it." Eilis opened the pack and began looked for food.

"I haven't had time, I suppose." I frowned. "I've been fighting, and learning, and...I'm not really that old, Eilis. I'm really not."

Eilis smiled at me. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen." I answered, thinking about it. "Eighteen, maybe." I froze. "I am that old."

Eilis covered her mouth, but her laugh exploded from it anyway.

Malachi opened his eyes, rubbing them fiercely. "Why are you being so loud?"

Eilis giggled harder. I slowly grinned.

"I'm hungry." Maire nestled into Malachi's side. "Can I have something to eat?"

Eilis handed Maire a roll and a hunk of cheese. "Malachi?"

"Sure." Malachi grunted and held out his hands. Eilis gave him some food.

I was still reeling from the realization that half my life was over. Age had sneaked up on me. I had always felt old, even as a child, so I hadn't really noticed when I'd become old. I didn't really expect to live past thirty or forty, and I almost hoped I wouldn't. I needed to start thinking about things.

"Cheer up." Eilis nudged me, handing me a piece of cheese. "Old age really isn't that bad."

She smiled at me, a youthful, joyous smile. I had to laugh, because I really wasn't that old.

* * *

"Curses." Malachi scowled and pulled off his boot. "Has anyone got any string?"

"I think so." Eilis answered. "Adda? The pack?"

I tossed it to her. It was becoming quite light, as we ate more and more of the food. We had rationed, but only had one loaf of bread left.

"My boot's falling apart." Malachi took the thread. "Thanks. I think I can tie it..."

Maire squatted on the ground, silently scratching a picture in the dirt. I softly nudged her with the toe of my boot. "You've got to rub that out. Someone might see it and know we've been here."

Maire obeyed and looked back up at me. "I need to use the bushes."

"Stay close." Eilis warned her, giving her a small pat on the backside.

Maire trudged off. Eilis watched her sadly.

"There." Malachi finished mending his boot and tugged it back on. "It'll hold."

"I hope so." Eilis bit her lip. "If we have to, we can use the blanket to make you some shoes."

"No, but thanks." Malachi raised his eyebrows seriously. "You know how important Gannon is. He needs to keep warm."

"You can't cut your feet to shreds." Eilis argued. "You're important too."

"Not as important as the baby." Malachi snapped back.

"Hush." I interjected absentmindedly. "We'll figure something out. Let's worry about it when you can't use your boots."

Malachi looked shamefully at Eilis. "I'm sorry for yelling."

Eilis tugged Malachi's red hair kindly. "It's-"

The bushes rustled loudly and Maire hurled towards us. She threw herself at me. "Someone saw me!"

"Who was it?" I asked. "A child? A man? Who?"

"It was a girl." Now that she was with us, Maire was more curious than frightened. "Maybe she was my age."

"We have to get out of here." Malachi tossed me my pack.

"Wait!" Maire grabbed my hand. "There was a house."

The need to flee battled the need for supplies. I grabbed the pack. "Show me. Malachi, Eilis, stay low and out of sight. I'll be back."

Maire led me through the tall grass. "I saw her here." She kept going. "But I saw the house this way."

"Stop. Go no further." A thin, scrawny man held a pitchfork out in front of him.

I pushed Maire behind me. "We need food."

"I have none to spare." The man raised his pitchfork higher. "Ask your Etterite friends for their spoils. I will give none of mine."

"Let me see." I swiftly pulled out my knife.

The man scoffed at me. "I am not afraid that you will hurt me."

"What about your daughter?" I could make out the outline of a girl standing by the house. "After I kill you, I will kill your daughter."

The man shrieked with rage and swung the pitchfork at my head. I ducked and was able to wrestle it from his grasp. I held the knife to his throat.

Maire began to cry quietly.

"Go back to the others." I told her. I waited until she had fled into the grass, then pressed the knife to his throat. "Take me to your food!"

The man stumbled to the house. His daughter stared at me with wide eyes, trembling with fear for her father. The house was small, dug into the sod, with a grass roof and a thick wooden door. The angry man opened a small cupboard of food.

"Is this all you have?" I wrestled with my conscience. I didn't want to starve, but I didn't want others to starve either.

The man quickly ducked away from me and out of reflex, I jumped out of the way. A woman swung a burning stick towards me and I yelped. I dodged it just in time. I bellowed as I came up, slashing at anything within my reach. They fell back, frightened at my rage.

I panted, trying to control my temper.

"Adda! Adda!" Maire burst into the door, startling us all. "They're not there! They're gone!"

I looked from the family with their thin faces and ragged clothes, to Maire's terrified eyes. I muttered a particularly explosive expletive and backed out of the house.

We sprinted back to where we had left Eilis and Malachi. Maire was right, they were gone. The clearing was empty, only the slight footprints in the dirt and the crumpled grass to leave their trace.

Maire began to cry even harder. "Where are they?"

"I'm trying to think." I rubbed the flat side of my blade against my cheek. The cool metal comforted me. "Where would they have gone? Let's check by the river."

We ran to the river, finding Malachi and Eilis sitting by the river. I shouted at them, but couldn't even hear myself over the noisy rapids. I sat on the ground and covered my face with my hands.

Eilis pulled my face away from my hands. She showed me Gannon. He was wailing, his face an angry red that matched his hair. Of course, they would have had to stand by the river so his crying wouldn't be heard. I covered my face again.

"Did you get anything?" Malachi shouted in my ear, near enough that I could hear. I shook my head, but he didn't look too disappointed. "We found a canoe!"

He pointed to the bushes and I pushed them aside to find a small watercraft. It didn't look big enough for four people, but we would have to manage. There were two paddles lying in the bottom of the canoe.

Maire shook her head and stomped her foot. She back away from the river, shouting something with tears rolling down her cheeks.

I dragged the canoe out of the bushes and cut the cord that tied it to the tree. I grunted, lifting it onto my back. Malachi raised his eyebrow at me, a little impressed. The canoe really was lighter than it looked.

"C'mon!" I shouted, walking down along the river. Maire didn't want to go down the rapids. Honestly, neither did I.

Once the rapids had become milder, I set the canoe in the water.

"We'll be able to go faster." Malachi handed me a paddle, keeping one for himself. I held the canoe while he climbed in. He helped Maire and Eilis in.

"I'm sorry for crying." Maire leaned against Eilis, who rubbed the little girl's back.

"It's alright. I'm sorry for acting mean when I was trying to steal their food."

"It's alright." Maire closed her eyes and snuggled with Eilis.

I got in the back of the canoe and pushed away from the bank.

**Hope you like. I've got to go have dinner with guests. I just barely finished this in time.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

I woke up screaming, grabbing at anything within my reach, sobbing without any semblance of control. The darkness was overwhelming and I heard voices around me, voices that I didn't recognize. A hand pressed itself against my open mouth and someone began pounding my shoulder.

"You've got to stop!" Someone tried to smother me, covering my nose as well as my mouth. I ignored them, fighting my way against the restraints.

"Adda, please!" I knew the voice that begged me. "Please, hush up!"

I quieted, because my mind was escaping from whichever nightmare had me caught, and I knew that I had to be silent. When I fully emerged from sleep, I blinked rapidly and steadied my breathing. I slowly reached up and removed the hand that covered my mouth.

Malachi let me pull his hand off once he realized that I was all there. He looked at me worriedly. "You alright?"

"Fine." I got to my feet. "We've got to move."

"Yah." Malachi nodded shortly. "They probably heard you all the way to the Lake."

"'M sorry." I looked around quickly to get my bearings.

Eilis pulled Maire to her feet and hoisted Gannon into the sling. "Adda, are you sure you're-"

"I said I was." I tried hard to keep from snapping at her.

A noise off to our right caused us all to freeze like startled rabbits.

"Don't be a little mouse," The child's voice taunted. "I thought you wanted to see a spirit?"

"I did." A small voice answered back. "When it wasn't dark, I did."

"There's a near full moon. That's enough to see by." The child pushed aside the long grass and gasped when she saw us.

I admit, we made a foreboding picture. Our clothes were tattered and torn, our shoes battered, and our hair stringy and unkept. We were covered in filth and reeked, I imagined, because I couldn't smell it anymore. We had run out of food and were surviving on whatever we could scavenge. Then again, we didn't look much different than the children that stood before us. At least we had shoes.

"How'dja die?" The oldest child, a girl, whispered. Her eyes were huge in her head.

"You've a village nearby?" I questioned, my voice raspy.

The little boy began to nod, trembling, but the girl stuck an elbow in his ribs and answered for him. "Nay, we haven't. You're not spirits then, are ya?"

The quick sounds of hoofbeats thundering down the hill startled us. I panicked. We didn't know the area and had nowhere to hide. I'd have to use my Gift, in front of these children, and our cover of secrecy would be destroyed.

The girl looked from us to the direction of the hoofbeats. "Quick!"

She and the boy ducked into the grass and I pushed Eilis and Maire in after them.

"Can we trust them?" Malachi didn't hesitate as he followed me.

"Is there a choice?" I asked.

We followed the two children, silently crouching as we ran. The girl kept looking back over her shoulder to make sure we were behind them.

"Ow!" Maire stumbled and fell hard, clutching at her ankle. I swept her up into my arms and continued on.

The children fell to their knees at the foot of a hill and began pounding on the dirt. To our surprise, a section the size of the window was raised, dirt and sod and all. The children slipped through into the hole, beckoning us to follow.

The hoofbeats not too far behind us gave us no choice. We piled into the hole in the hill and the hatch was lowered behind us.

Six pairs of white eyes stared at us in the darkness. Eilis and Malachi unconsciously shifted towards me and Maire clutched me. I tried to sit up straight and hit my head on the low ceiling.

"We're not spirits." I broke the silence and almost flinched.

"Ah, we know." It was a girl's voice, strong and firm. A tentative flame followed the sound of flint on stone. The weak candlelight did little more than bring a sinister glow to our faces. Still, it was enough to see that we were only among children. I relaxed slightly. "And who you be, then?"

"We're just travelers." I spoke for our group. "Who were those horsemen?"

"Soldiers." The eldest girl's face twisted into hate and disgust, so much of it that I was taken aback. She wasn't really a girl. She must have been near fourteen, but seemed much older. "Etterites."

Malachi and I exchanged a quick look. I leaned forward slightly. "Can you help us?"

The girl shrugged. "What you gonna do for us?"

"Nothing, really." Malachi gazed determinedly into the girl's eyes. "Can you help us?"

The girl stared back at him levelly, then shrugged again. "We can do for you in the way of food."

"Please." I asked.

"Here." One of the boys handed us a basket that had been sitting on the ground behind him.

I opened the basket and passed around some of the food inside. I watched warily as the children huddled in the corner and began to talk quietly.

I turned to Malachi. "How far do you think we are from...where we need to be?"

"I'm not sure. Eighty miles, maybe." Malachi answered. "It'll be hard though, with the soldiers and villages. We can't be seen."

"Or maybe we can." The hint of a plan began to create itself inside my mind.

Maire tugged on my shirt and whimpered, reminding me that she was in pain. I felt for her foot, carefully my fingers over her swollen ankle.

"Is it broken?" Eilis rubbed Maire's cheek consolingly.

"Maybe. Maybe it's sprained." I shrugged. "Either way, she isn't going anywhere."

Tears filled Maire's eyes and she gazed up at us fearfully.

"We won't be leaving you." Eilis promised.

I crawled towards the children and waited for their attention. They gave it quickly, having stopped talking as soon as they saw me. "Why do you hate the Etterites?"

"'Cause o' what they do to our mas and pas." The eldest boy answered this time. "They whip 'em when they don't do what they say."

"Use our mas and sisters in bad ways." One of the younger boys piped up.

The girl flinched at that and I felt a spark of anger, but also of satisfaction. I knew now what to do. "Will you all swear your hate?"

"We swear it." The eldest girl answered solemnly. The other five children nodded fervently.

"Then I beg your help." I waited for their response.

The girl waited a moment, lines creasing her forehead. "We'll do what we can."

"Does anyone know of this hiding place?" I asked. "Anyone at all?"

"Just us." The girl answered. "We always be careful."

"Will you let my companions stay with you? Will you protect them?" I waited, heart stopped, for the answer.

"We'll take care o' 'em." The girl placed her hand over her heart. "I swear."

"Adda, what?" Malachi protested.

"I don't understand." Eilis clutched Gannon tightly. "We're not coming with you?"

Malachi stood fiercely. "I'm coming with you. It's what my father wanted."

"No!" I growled. "Maire can't go any further and the more that come with me, the more we're all in danger. It's better that I go alone, with Gannon."

"No." Eilis rocked back on her heels, holding her baby tight to her chest. "I can't let you take him."

I shook my head. "I have to and you know it."

"Please, Adda." Eilis begged. "Let me come with you."

"No!" I shook my head resolutely. "Anyone who comes with me is just someone more I need to protect. If you are somewhat safe here, it is the better. You need to trust me."

"I just can't!" Eilis began to sob at the thought of losing her baby. "I'm his mother, I need to be there for him! Please, please!"

"Stop it!" I snapped, hating myself for being cruel. I leaned close to Eilis' ear so that only she could hear my words. "If we go, we may all die. If I take Gannon, there is hope for Lorcan. They need their heir or they can do nothing."

Eilis gritted her teeth, still sobbing, and nodded. "Please, rest first. Can you rest a bit?"

"I think I have to." I answered. "I'll leave in the morning."

"Broad daylight?" Malachi raised his eyebrows. "Have you gone insane?"

I didn't answer him. Instead, I look to the children. "Will you protect them while I am gone?"

"We will." The girl nodded.

I nodded back and curled up on the ground. I hugged my knees to my chest and buried my nose in my knees. It took longer for me to fall asleep than usual, with the sounds of Eilis' quiet crying, Maire's pained whimpers, and the strange children's whispers reverberating though my skull.

* * *

I woke jerkily, breathing heavily. I held still, trying not to waken the others. Eilis' nose was pressed into the back of my neck and her arm was around my waist. I hoped that she had forgiven me.

I extricated myself carefully and sat up.

"A dream?" The eldest girl was awake as well, and she looked at me questioningly.

I nodded shortly.

"They get 'em too." The girl nodded towards her sleeping children. They were curled all up around each other like a litter of puppies. "Idy, her ma was raped and beat in front of her. They didn't kill her, but her ma's never been the same and neither has Idy. Nollaig, soldiers hung his uncle for not handing over his crop. Nola and Cara, their father and brother were taken to fight with the Etterites. Alroy, nobody knows where he came from but he screams the loudest of all."

I looked at her to show her that I knew what she meant. "And you be?"

"I be Sorcha." The girl shrugged. "I take care o' 'em and their hurt is my hurt."

I felt a strong sense of companionship with the girl. "I am glad that you found us."

"As am I." The girl nodded perceptively. "I am glad that I have a chance to do against the Etterites."

"I will come back for them." I gestured towards my friends. "And when I do, I could take you from here, if you'd like."

"I'll think on it." Sorcha lay her head back down on her knees. "Ain't nothin' much left here for us, that's for sure. We'll think on it."

I nodded and lay back down, putting my arm around Maire.

"Adda?" Sorcha whispered. "We all heard you screamin', us and the soldiers. How you gonna keep from doin' that when you're all alone?"

"I haven't figured that out yet." I closed my eyes and tried not to worry. "I'll work it out."

* * *

The morning came far too soon. Sorcha woke us, shaking us gently and telling us that it was light outside. I ate quickly, while the children tucked two waterskins of goat's milk in the pack, along with some food for me.

Eilis kissed baby Gannon's face repeatedly. Her face was tight with pain as she handed the infant to me. I rested him in the sling and wrapped my arm around him.

"I love you, Adda, I do." Eilis forced the words out. "But I'll kill you if you let harm come to my child."

"You won't have to." I rested my hand on her shoulder. "I'll be dead before any harm comes to him. Eilis, you've not seen the half of what I can do. I can protect him."

"I hope that's so." Eilis leaned against the dirt wall and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Take care." Malachi gripped my forearm in a firm handshake. "May luck be with you."

I nodded. "Take care of them, alright?"

Sorcha nodded to me, lifted the hatch, and I dashed off.

* * *

"Who goes there?" The call came from above me, from the gatekeeper who looked down on me from his perch on the wall.

I swayed from side to side, my body trembling with exhaustion. "Is this the city of Lorcan?"

"Aye." The gatekeeper peered at me suspiciously. "Who are you?"

"I've a message from Baed Cormac." My knees almost buckled and I leaned against the gate.

The gatekeeper disappeared from atop the wall. He shouted something to the soldiers that were sure to be inside the walls and slowly, the gate opened. I stumbled inside.

The gatekeeper swore when he saw me. I was covered in blood, some of it mine, some of it not. "What happened to you, girl?"

"I've come from the city in the caves." I trembled fiercely. "I need to speak to everyone you've got, leaders, rulers, whatnot."

"To it!" The gatekeeper barked to a soldier. "Assemble them in the great hall!"

The soldier saluted and ran off.

"Can you walk any further?" The gatekeeper looked me up and down to asses my condition. "Are you hurt bad?"

"I don't think so." I wasn't sure which question I was answering. "I need to talk to them."

The gatekeeper gestured four soldiers over. "Escort this messenger to the great hall. Carry her if needs be."

I did not need to be carried, although I stumbled often. The people and soldiers in the streets stared at me as we made our way towards the great hall. At least it was not too far. The great hall was a massive, well-fortified building near the center of the city. It was filled with long wooden tables and had huge fireplaces.

"Come." The soldiers led me through the hall and into a small room to the side. One of the men gently pushed me into a chair by a smaller fireplace. "Rest until they get here."

The room began to fill up with men and women who stared at me worriedly. I looked into the fire, wrapping my arms around my chest. The soldiers left.

A hand gently pressed on my shoulder. "We are all assembled. Can you give us the message?"

I stood weakly and faced the people. There were maybe twenty of them, all sitting forward in their chairs to catch my message. "Twixt the moonlit path of pebbles and flowers-"

The group answered as one. "A fairy dances and weaves her beauty into moonbeams."

I nodded, finally satisfied that I was in the right place. "Baed Cormac may be dead. He was wounded when I left. The city in the caves has fallen."

They stared at each other in horror.

"We should have sent more reinforcements!" A man stood from his seat, angrily pounding his fist on the table.

"Sit down, Captain," An older man ordered. "There is nothing to do now. Let the messenger finish."

The captain sat, fuming at himself. He clenched his hands, his knuckles white.

"I..." I shook again. "Does anyone know Baed Cormac's word?"

Most of the people looked at each other in confusion, but one man pushed himself to the front. "I am Girvan. Have you a message for me?"

I nodded and gestured for him to come closer. I spoke quietly into his ear, and in my own language. "Treetops."

"Waterfalls." Girvan whispered back, haltingly, but it was enough for me.

I began to unbutton my coat. It was a heavy garment, stolen from a dead soldier and much too big for me, but it had served its purpose. It dropped to the floor, exposing the sling in which Gannon lay, too weak to make any sort of fuss.

"What's this?" Girvan leaned closer.

I removed Gannon, handing him over to the man who Baed Cormac had trusted enough to make him the recipient of his grandson. "Lauchlan's child. The heir."

Girvan stared in awe at the tiny boy in his arms.

"But he's not eaten in a while." I told him. "I tried to care for him, but I'm not his ma. He needs proper care. Can he have that?"

"Certainly." Girvan nodded towards a woman near the back. "Healer Flanna can find him a wet nurse."

"You've got to keep him safe." I wavered. "His ma will kill me if he's not kept safe. So will Master Salmalín. They're all gonna kill me, I'm sure. For bein' here and not goin' back and for killin' all those people and aye, for not keepin' to my promise about bein' good and not cursin' people to the Dark Realm and back..."

Girvan raised his hand to my forehead and felt the burning heat radiating from it. He jerked his hand away. "Flanna!"

The healer ran forward and supported me. I shook uncontrollably as she pushed me into the chair. "Hold on, messenger, just hold on. Can I have this room cleared? Girvan, take the child to my Rianne and tell no one who he is."

Healer Flanna began to strip me of my outer garments, but when she began to pull off my shirt, I screamed in pain. Her expert hands ran over my body, until she found the source of my pain. Beneath my ribs on my right side, my shirt was glued to my body with a crusty yellow pus.

"I thought it wasn't bad." I looked down at my side. "It wasn't deep and it hardly bled."

"Infection." Healer Flanna looked up to those exiting the room. "Captain, can you carry her to the infirmary? Careful of her side."

The strong captain picked me up and maneuvered me out the door. I closed my eyes as he carried me, because having them open made me dizzy. I could hear the Healer and the Captain talking, but my mind made no sense of the words.

Finally, the Captain laid me on a nice, soft infirmary bed. The sheets were cool and I pressed my burning cheeks against the pillow.

"Anything else I can do?" The Captain asked Healer Flanna.

"Fetch me that." The Healer asked. My eyes were still closed, but she may have pointed.

A cool rag was applied to my side and the water ran down my ribs. Suddenly, I was very cold and I began to shiver.

"Where have my healers gone to?" Healer Flanna snapped. "They'll hear it from me."

"One of my scouting parties came back." The Captain supplied. "Some of them were badly injured. They may be on the field with them."

"Then you must stay." Healer Flanna ordered. "Hold this against her side while I fetch my herbs."

I raised my head up off the pillow. "You're not gonna let him kill me, are you?"

Healer Flanna sounded almost amused. "Captain Shainin? Hardly."

"No." I weakly shook my head. "Him." I pointed to the corner, where the Mage stood. He had haunted my childhood, torturing slaves on the fief. I thought I had killed him, but maybe he was stronger than I had thought. "Can you make him leave?"

"There's nothing there." Healer Flanna reassured me. "You're very sick, but you're safe now."

"Gods, he's coming for me!" I watched in horror as the Mage stepped closer, the mad glint in his eyes. I struggled to sit up, fighting off the Captain's restraining hands. "Oh, gods, I don't want him to get me!"

"You're safe." Captain Shainin gripped my hands to keep me from flailing. "Flanna, have you got anything we can give her?"

"I don't dare." The Healer shook her head. "We need to keep her alert."

I trembled as the Mage reached for my throat and stiffened as his hand went through my skin. I relaxed slightly. "He's not really there, is he?"

"No." Healer Flanna began to grind up some herbs. "You're just very ill."  
Captain Shainin released me and I laid back on the bed. "I forgot to tell them something. I was going to, but I forgot."

"What is it?" Healer Flanna began to remove my shirt. The water had softened it, but I still gasped as it tore away from my skin.

"I'm a mage. Baed Cormac wanted me kept a secret, but I think he meant for me to tell you."

Both the Healer and the Captain had frozen when they heard my words.

"She's out of her head." Captain Shainin whispered. "She must be."

"No." I raised my hand, struggling to create a flame. I barely could, but the flame flickered weakly on my finger. I let it disappear.

Healer Flanna stroked my cheek, then returned to fixing my wound, just as determined as before. "Captain, you will need to inform the General."

I closed my eyes tightly, determined not to see the six bodies swaying in the wind. I didn't want to see the handless arms reach for me as I knew they would. They always did, always tried to hurt me for letting them die. I wished they could just be happy that they were dead and that their hurting was over.

The pain in my side worsened suddenly and I cried out, opening my eyes. Healer Flanna was squeezing the wound's sides to drain the infection from my side. I cried out again, biting my fist to keep the pain under control.

"Here, chew on this." Captain Shainin forced something into my mouth. "It will keep the pain under control."

I chewed on the bitter herbs and it did dull the pain slightly.

"I know it hurts." Healer Flanna kept at it. "I'm trying to hurry and it will be over soon. You need to stay awake-"

I passed out.

**So, I only got three reviews last chapter and I'm not sure what that was all about. If you guys are dissatisfied, review and tell me why. I know that some of you wish there was more of Alanna, Numair, and Daine, but they just aren't part of my story right now. I'm pretty sure that this chapter was exciting, and there's more of that to come, so please bear with me. I promise Alanna, Numair and Daine at the end.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Thanks for all the reviews! I was so thrilled! I've made it past 300 review. Four years ago when I first got into fanfiction as a little twelve-year old, I never thought I'd get more than twenty reviews. I never thought I'd get positive feedback, or that anyone would care enough to critique my mistakes. 300!!**

**Has anyone read the Jacky Faber series? Honestly, L.A. Meyer is a man, but he captures the essence of a teenage girl so well it's scary. The series is set in lat****e 1790s, early 1800s, right about the time Napoleon is doing his thing in Europe. Jacky is an English street u****rchin who signs into the British navy as a ships' boy on a warship. You overlook the impossibility of her adventures because of how entertaining, humorous, and also how realistic Jacky is. It's definitely a must read. **

**Chapter 29**

I woke gradually, first listening to the sounds of the infirmary around me, then opening my eyes and observing the happenings around me. Everything was clean and bright, and large windows let the sun in. Healers bustled around, checking on patients and calling out to one another. There were a few battered patients being attended to, but they did not seem much the worse for wear.

"Good afternoon." Healer Flanna's smiling face came into my view. "Feeling better?"

"Much." I nodded. I looked down at my side and carefully felt the fresh bandage. "Am I alright now? How long did I sleep?"

"Four days. Your wound wasn't deep at all. After we rid it of infection, it was hardly any trouble at all. There was the malnutrition, of course, and the fatigue." Healer Flanna put on a stern look, but it did nothing to frighten. "You need to take better care of yourself."

"Yah." I agreed, sitting up. "Gannon? Is he alright?"

"He recovered twice as fast as you." Healer Flanna motioned to one of the healers. "Hungry?"

"Very." I looked eagerly at the bowl of porridge the young healer brought me. "Thank you."

She handed it to me and curtsied, heading back to her work.

"Drako, you may tell them that she's woken." Healer Flanna nodded to a boy standing by the door. He dashed off.

"Tell who?" I asked. Another man was brought into the infirmary, blood leaking from a gash on his temple. "Is there a battle?"

"There's always a battle." Healer Flanna sighed. "Eat up, now."

I spooned my porridge into my mouth. It was a simple food, but reminded me of my childhood on the fief, and was delicious. By the time I had finished, the boy had returned, bringing back with him six men and two women.

"You may not remember me." A tall, bald man with a beard introduced himself with a kind smile. "I am Raes Girvan."

"I gave you Gannon." I remembered.

"Yes." Raes Girvan nodded. "I'm sorry, but I can't recall you giving your name?"

"Adda." I supplied helpfully.

"Thank you, Adda. Now, when you were ill, you said that you were a mage. Is that so?"

"It's so." I looked at the other faces in the circle as they reacted to my news.

"How powerful are you?" A stocky, grizzled man leaned forward, his eyes lit with calculations.

"Very." I shrugged. "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, at the moment." The grizzled man sighed. "Would you fight with us?"

"It's what Baed Cormac meant for me to do." I answered. "I'll do it."

"Not yet." Healer Flanna had returned to my side long enough to hear the last bit of conversation. "General, she's still abed."

"I know that." The general sounded exasperated and almost glared at Healer Flanna. "I did not intend that she-"

"Good." Healer Flanna handed me a fresh bowl of porridge and left without waiting for the general to finish his protest.

"She's not very respectful." One of the women grinned amusedly.

"I have a question." I paused reflectively. "What's the use of having baby Gannon here at all? He's no use."

"Didn't someone explain it to you?" Raes Girvan raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "No? Admittedly, he is much safer here than anywhere else. More still, his presence alone will raise the morale of our troops. There is authority and power that follows the heir."

I thought of all the messy diapers I'd changed and couldn't visualize Gannon's power. Maybe when he'd be trained to use a latrine.

"I left them, Eilis and Maire and Malachi." I slurped up the last bit of my porridge. Manners could bury themselves in an anthill. "Can I go back and get them?"

The general and Raes Girvan glanced at each other quickly as if I wouldn't notice.

"I'm sorry, child," Raes Girvan began.

"I promised them." I set my bowl down with a clatter. "I have to."

"You are a valuable piece of the defense now." The general looked as if to rest his hand on my shoulder, but changed his mind. "We cannot spare you."

"I don't have to fight." I pointed out. "I'd rather find my friends than kill."

"Are you threatening me?" The general raised his eyebrows.

"I'm being honest." I shrugged.

"General Eirnin," The woman with the huge broadsword interceded. "Perhaps I might escort her in three days' time. There will be an adequate distraction, and if we take fast horses, we might make it in a day."

General Eirnin's mouth tightened. "This is your demand, girl?"

"Yes." I nodded. "And I'll fight for you after that."

"Fine." The general nodded shortly and stalked from the infirmary. Before he passed through the door, he snapped at a man in a soldier's uniform. "Shainin, let that poor healer look at your arm before I flog you half to death!"

Captain Shainin winked at me as he allowed the healer to fuss over his arm.

"Alright now." Healer Flanna began to hustle my five visitors from the room. "She needs her rest."

The woman with the broadsword hung back. "I will come and see you again so we can discuss our mission. I'm Captain Brodie, by the by."

I nodded my agreement. After they had all left, I leaned back onto my pillows and closed my eyes. I had thought that I had recovered completely, but I was still a bit weak.

"Already playing tug of war over you?" A weight pressed itself against my bed and I opened my eyes to find Captain Shainin at the foot of the bed. His wrist was bandaged and he fiddled with the wrapping with his good hand.

"I suppose." I smiled.

Captain Shainin's blue eyes twinkled. "Don't worry. They'll soon treat you as your own person. Right now, they just see you as the means to accomplish what they want."

"And they're justified for it." I shrugged. "I don't really mind."

"You should." The captain advised. "Give them an inch and they'll take a mile."

"Aren't you one of them?" I pointed out.

"That I am." Captain Shainin grinned charmingly. "Give me an inch and I'll take you a mile."

My jaw dropped at the insinuation and my face flamed red.

"Captain, is your arm fixed up?" A soldier called into the infirmary. "We have need of you."

Captain Shainin winked at me again and breezed from the infirmary.

"I swear, that man would flirt with a wooden post." A young healer muttered, making the bed up next to me. "Not that you're a wooden post or naught. I meant no offense."

"No offense taken." I answered dryly. "I _feel _like a wooden post."

"If you feel up to it, you might get a bit of fresh air." The healer smiled at me. "There's a stair up to a tower just outside the door. But I didn't tell you that, if Healer Flanna asks."

"Thank you." I nodded and carefully swung my legs out of bed. I was in a nightgown, not my shirt and breeches, and my scrappy boots were nowhere to be found. I slipped from the room, unobserved, and found the winding staircase that the healer had directed me to. I slowly made my way up the stairs and finally reached the top, where a door led to the outside.

The fresh air did feel good. I breathed it in deeply, surveying the city before me. I hadn't been very observant when I had first come to the city of Lorcan, and hadn't even noticed that it was built up onto a hill. The extra height would give it an advantage in battle. There were thick walls built up around the city, and many towers. The city was built on different levels, stacked up like disorganized layers on the sandcastles I built with Sarralyn in the Copper Isles. On the field, directly to my front and outside the wall, there was a huge field.

The grass was trampled flat to the ground, tents speckling the field like the spots on a robin's egg. I'd never seen more soldiers in my entire life. They spread over the field, drilling in their units and milling about. Far in the distance, I could see what I assumed to be the enemy camp. I had given it a wide berth on my way to Lake Lorcan, so I wasn't quite sure whose camp it was. Still, the grey smoke that rose from the campfires looked ominous, and a heard a slight rumble that sent a chill up my spine.

_"But can't you do somethin'?" Adele sat next to Bertie, close enough to bush his shoulder with her own, but not near enough to be a nuisance. _

_"What's there to do?" Bertie shrugged hopelessly. "There's nothin'."_

_Adele mimicked his shrug. "I dunno. Can't you tell Arnie and Rufus?"_

_"No, and you'd better not!" Bertie scowled. "They've got their jobs at the dock and they've got to keep 'em. You'd better not tell."_

_"They're gonna get mad at you if you keep tellin 'em you've been fightin'." Adele pointed out._

_"Then let them." Bertie straightened up slightly and set his chin. "I'm not scared of anythin' they'll do."_

_"Rufus might whip you." Adele drooped considerably. "He'd be harder than Ma, to be sure."_

_Bertie's chin trembled and he slammed his fist into the dirt. Adele flinched. "Damn all mothers! If it weren't for you and the babies, I'd not stay another minute in this hellhole!"_

_Adele sniffled and jammed her fist in her mouth to keep from making a sound. _

_Bertie looked over at her in surprise. "Ah, don't cry, 'dele. It'll be alright, you'll see. It won't be so bad."_

_"Why don't we stop her?" Adele muttered, looking up at Bertie with a questioning, tear-filled eyes. "Stop for good, stop her forever good."_

_Bertie's eyes widened slightly. "'Cause that's murder, Adele. That's murder and the Watch will be on us in an instant and take us to the mines and that's where we'll spend the rest of our lives."_

_"Maybe 'cause we're children-" Adele argued weakly._

_"You think that matters?" Bertie drew away from Adele angrily. "If we do that, then we'd be no worse than her! We'd be no worse and we'd deserve to go to the mines!"_

_"What if she gets you real bad? If we could get to her first..." Adda let the thought trail off. "It just ain't fair."_

_"Yah, 'dele, that's 'cause this life ain't fair. It ain't and it's never gonna be, so you might put that out of your head." Bertie was firm._

_"I don't want to see her hit you no more." The younger child slumped against the alley wall. "I don't like it."_

_Bertie put his arm around her shoulder in an uncharacteristic show of affection. "I don't like it none either. We'll get through it, Adele, I promise. Trust me?"_

_"Yah." Adele didn't sound convinced, but she leaned into the hug. _

I wasn't surprised to find tears on my cheeks. Adele was becoming less of a stranger and I felt for her plight. I knew what it was like to be oppressed, to be helpless in a struggle. Either way, Master Salmalín would have more of a struggle than he reckoned with in repairing my moral compass.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Healer Flanna's voice behind me caused me to jump half out of my skin.  
I hastily wiped the tears off my face with my sleeve and turned around. "Getting my bearings."

Healer Flanna looked me up and down suspiciously, then her face softened. "Come back downstairs and rest some. You're going to catch cold if you stay out in the wind much longer."

She held the door open for me and herded me through, guiding me back to the place of clean sheets, warmth, and flirtatious soldiers.


	30. Chapter 30

**Thank you to all my reviewers. I love your comments and I have been very good lately about answering them.**

**To ** **Allo (), who didn't sign their comment, your review really pushed me to get this done tonight. I will blame you when my teachers ask why none of my homework is finished. :) And I am extremely glad that I led someone on to the Bloody Jack series. I don't know of anyone else who reads them, so please, tell me what you think about them.**

**Chapter 30**

"Are you dressed yet?" Captain Brodie tapped her foot on the ground impatiently. She had only had her back turned for a moment.

"Almost." I lied. I had barely got my nightgown off. I pulled off the soft cotton undergarments that I had worn in the infirmary and pulled on the more serviceable woolen undergarments that I had been supplied with. "I've got a question though. Why is it getting colder?"

Captain Brodie stopped tapping her foot. "What?"

"Well," I stepped into a pair of long, loose breeches. "Where I come from, it's cold in the winter and hot in the summer."

"It's the same for us." Captain Brodie sounded a bit confused.

"But I think it's about the sixth month of the year, right?" I questioned.

"Almost." She replied.

I shivered as I put on the breastband, fumbling with the tie for a moment. "Where I come from, it would be getting hot now. Why is it getting cold here?"

"I don't know." Captain Brodie answered slowly, thinking about my question. "Are you dressed now?"

"Almost." It wasn't a lie this time. I pulled on the long shirt, which was like an tunic, only it had sleeves and fell to my knees. There was only the heavy leather vest and the thick wool socks. "I'm dressed."

Captain Brodie turned around and looked me up and down critically. She finally nodded. "You'll need boots, gloves and a hat. You find the boots?"

I nodded and walked to the shelves. There were new boots and used boots resting on the shelves in every size. I looked through the used boots until I found a pair that fit me, then pulled them on. I tucked my breeches into the knee high boots.

"You want me to braid your hair?" Captain Brodie knelt by my side. "It keeps it out of your eyes."

"If you could." I held still as she expertly gathered up my hair and plaited it around my head like a crown. I reached up and ran my fingers over it while she was braiding. After she was finished, she pulled a woolen hat down over my ears and handed me a pair of gloves.

"There, you look like a proper army captain." Captain Brodie said laughingly.

"Which I'm not." I pointed out, but she was right. She had fitted me out in the same dark blue clothing that she and other female army captains wore.

"Can you use any weapons?" Captain Brodie gave me a hand up.

"I was learning on a sword." I told her, following her from the stockroom.

"We'll see what you can do."

The armory was just down the hall from the stockroom. Captain Brodie nodded to the two guards by the door, who promptly let her in.

The armory was filled with rows of gleaming spears, polished bows, sharp swords and every other form of weapon that the Lorcanites used.

"Not a broadsword." Captain Brodie surveyed the weapons. "Too heavy for swift riding. That's too pretty. That's not sturdy enough. Ah, this." She pulled a short sword off the wall and handed it to me. "How does it feel?"

I hefted it, swinging it around a little to get the feel of it. "It feels-" I barely got the blade up in time to guard myself before Captain Brodie brought her dagger down on my head. Her dagger flitted from side to side, my sword clumsily blocking her strikes.

Finally, she sheathed her dagger and nodded. "You're a bit rusty, but you must have had a good teacher."

"I did." I nodded and slipped my short sword into its sheath.

Captain Brodie pulled a light dagger from where it hung on the wall. "Take this as well."

"Thank you." I held the two weapons, wondering how to carry them.

"You'll need a belt." She observed, crossing the room to where belts hung on a thin chain. She pulled one off and checked to make sure the buckle worked. "C'mon, we've got to hurry."

Captain Brodie knew the quickest way to the stables. She led me through the winding, cobblestone streets, still dark because of the early, early hour. There were a few vendors setting up for the day's work, and Captain Brodie bought us each a stuffed roll, filled with eggs and chicken.

"You've ridden before, I hope?" Captain Brodie paused at the stable door, speaking with her mouth full.

I nodded. "I was a stable girl for a bit."

"Good." She unbarred the wooden door and slid it open.

"Can I help you?" The young stable boy descended the loft ladder, sleepily blinking and rubbing his eyes.

"There's four horses put aside for Captain Brodie." Captain Brodie ordered.

"I'll fetch them, Captain." The boy bowed swiftly and dashed off down the rows of stalls.

My Gift tickled and I looked above me, where a strange light shone through the boards of the loft. "What's that?"

"What's what?" Captain Brodie looked at me curiously.

I began to climb the loft ladder quickly, hoping to catch the source of the light. Captain Brodie tried to catch my leg, but I scrambled up and away.

A man stared at me when I peered up over the edge of the loft. He had a small cat in his hands, hands that were laced in copper threads of magic.

"You've got..." My eyes widened and I tried to think of a word for it in Rannson. "You've got...animal magic."

"How do you know that?" The man's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"'Cause I can see it." I sat on the edge of the loft.

"Well," The man turned his attention back to the cat that he was healing. "It's a secret, so you can't go spreading it around."

"I won't tell anybody." I shrugged. "You've got almost as much as someone else I know."

"Who?" The man didn't look at me, just frowned at the little cat.

"She doesn't live around here." I told him. "Her da was a god. Was yours?"

"My father was mortal." Now the man sounded amused. "Are you lost?"

"No." I looked down at Captain Brodie, who gestured for me to come down. I saw that the stable boy was still readying the horses, so I stayed.

"So you're the girl? The girl with the strong magic that will single-handedly destroy our enemy?"

Now I knew he was teasing me. "I suppose. And what does that make you? The man who sits up in a safe loft and fixes little kittens?"

The cat mewled indignantly and the man chuckled. "I train horses and dogs for the army. And I wouldn't tease this little kitten. She's a fierce thing."

"Is she?" I looked her over bemusedly. She hissed at me and swung her claws, though I was far out of reach.

"Adda!" Captain Brodie called up to me. "What are you doing?"

I looked down and saw that the stable boy had brought the horses to the captain. "I've got to go."

The man nodded. "Come back when you can. If I'm not about, ask for Carrig."

"Will do." I hurried down the ladder.

"Who were you talking to?" Captain Brodie swung into her saddle, settling herself.

"Just a hostler." I ran my hand over the horse I was to ride, acquainting myself. Once I had finished, I mounted up.

"You'll have to hold their leads." The stable boy handed us each a rope. "Don't wrap 'em around the pommel. There's reins in their packs that you can use if they're to have riders."

"Thank you." Captain Brodie smiled at the boy. "Would you mind opening the door for us?"

"Course not." The boy held the door. "Travel well!"

We set off through the streets at a fast trot, but as soon as we were through the gate we began to gallop.

I hadn't ridden in a good while, but my body adjusted quickly. I leaned forward, loving the feel of the sharp wind against my face.

Of course, the pleasure dulled a bit when my face grew numb and my fingers stiff on their reins.

I don't know how long it was before Captain Brodie pulled up and dismounted. I do know that my legs were already stiff and my rear sore.

"We've got to switch horses." She explained, taking the bridle off the horse that she had just been riding.

I copied her example. "Where are the Etterrites? When I was here, there were plenty of them around."

"They've been attacking more frequently within the past few days." Captain Brodie explained. "Spare troops were probably called for reinforcements."

I nodded and frowned a little bit, just remembering my last trip across these plains.

Captain Brodie noticed my frown. "You never told anybody how you got so beat up on your way to Lake Lorcan."

"No, I didn't." I answered shortly, putting the bridle on my other horse. I gently rubbed the horse's nose and nuzzled my frozen cheek against his warm nose. The horse snuffled and blew puffs of hot air at me. "I wasn't sleeping and I made a stupid mistake. I got caught and I had to kill some soldiers. That's all, really."

That really was it, but I left out the terror I had felt facing the soldiers, the terror I felt for the baby I was sworn to protect, and the awfulness I felt for using my Gift to murder. I just couldn't get the splattering blood, the sound of bones crunching, and the groans of pain out of my head.

I was a murderer and Master Salmalín would be so proud. I laughed harshly and Captain Brodie gave me a sharp look.

I began to swing into the saddle, but Captain Brodie caught my arm and pulled me back down. She grabbed my chin, and looked down at me. "You did what you had to do. That's all you ever do. Get it?"

"Yah." I mumbled and tried to look down, but her gaze was piercing.

"I've got skill at the sword." Captain Brodie continued. "You've got skill with your magic. We've got to use what tools we've been given." I nodded and looked up at her until she gave a satisfied nod. "Let's go." She mounted her fresh horse and nudged him. I followed suit and we were off again.

I thought about what she said. When one put it that way, using my skills for the greater good did seem fair. And to be sure, Master Salmalín had had no qualms about reinforcing catapults or protecting soldiers with his Gift.

Master Salmalín didn't change his mind easily, to be sure. He got what he thought was right in his head, and didn't like changing his mind. He could be persuaded on intellectual matters, but when it came to moral matters, he was as stubborn as a hog.

I missed them. They probably thought I was dead, swept off a ship and drowned in the storm. I might as well have been. I could die here in the Other Land.

I sighed and refocused on my task. I figured that we'd been riding for five hours, maybe, but I could have been wrong. We'd probably already covered the eighty miles and I began to look around carefully.

"There!" I pointed at a familiar village that I remembered passing while I was making my flight with Gannon.

Captain Brodie turned her head and nodded, slowing her horse. "Can you find it?"

"Not on my own." I dismounted and began to rub my horse's back with a cloth from the saddlebag. "If anyone be about, can you bring me to Sorcha? Or her to me, whichever is easiest. I need to speak with her, see."

Captain Brodie looked at me questioningly, then quickly gripped the hilt of her sword as the tall grass rustled.

"It's alright." I told her. "They won't hurt us, I think."

A few minutes of waiting, and the girl Sorcha stepped out from the grass as stealthily as a cat. She gazed at me steadily.

"It's me, Adda, and I've come to fetch the others." I explained quietly. "Can you bring me to them?"

"Who's your friend?" Sorcha jerked her head towards the tall captain.

"A friend." I answered. "Someone I trust."

Sorcha frowned, then nodded. "Come with me. She can stay with the horses."

I turned to Captain Brodie, who nodded her permission. I followed Sorcha into the grass.

"Do you 'member what you said?" Sorcha asked, without looking at me. "About taking us away from this place, to a place where we could do some good?"

"I remember." I nodded.

"Will you make good on it?" Sorcha turned her fierce green eyes on me.

I did some calculations in my head. We had the four horses and if we piled on and moved slowly...

"Forget it." Sorcha flicked her dirty red hair over her shoulder.

"No." I shook my head. "I can make good on it."

Sorcha nodded and a hint of a smile shone through her stoic features. "Here we be."

She rapped on a section of the hill and it opened. I immediately slid through the hole.

"Adda?" Eilis whispered from inside the gloom. I blinked, trying to make my eyes adjust. "Adda! Is Gannon alright? Is he?"

"He's safe and well." I squinted and made out three shapes huddled in a corner. "And you all?"

"Starving." Malachi sounded cheerful enough. "Maire's leg needs a healer. Eilis has been might weepy, but I trust she'll be fine now. Have you come to take us away?"

"Promptly." I answered.

"Idy and Nollaig, we're leavin' with them as well." Sorcha ordered. "Find the others and meet us by the ditch by the clearing near the road."

The two children bobbed their heads and scrambled from the hole. I crawled over to the corner and picked up Maire. She was far too light. I cradled her, making my way from the hole. She shielded her eyes in my vest and wrapped her arms around my neck. Eilis and Malachi followed, blinking in the sunlight.

"This way." I hefted Maire on my hip and extended a hand to Eilis to help her out.

"Did Gannon get hurt at all? Did he cry much?" Eilis accepted the hand I offered and clung to it weakly.

"He stayed nice and warm inside my coat." I told her.

"You didn't have a coat." Malachi raised his eyebrows.

I raised mine back at him and he fell silent.

"Baede." Captain Brodie bowed deeply when she saw us. "Baed."

Malachi bowed back, and Eilis managed to nod her head.

"Um." I pulled Captain Brodie aside. "We have some extra travelers."

"Adda..." Captain Brodie set her jaw frustratingly.

"I promised them." I told her. "I can keep us safe. My Gift's all the way up and they hardly weigh anything."

Captain Brodie sighed. "If this is our undoing..."

"It won't be." I reassured her.

"Alright." The Captain nodded.

The five other children peeked from around the tall grass and Sorcha gestured them forward.

Captain Brodie assessed the situation. "I'll be on a fresh horse and I'll take one of the younger children."

Sorcha pushed a scrawny girl forward. "Cara."

Cara shyly stood by the army captain.

"Can you ride?" Captain Brodie addressed Sorcha, who nodded briefly. "Then you're on that horse with two of your pick."

"Nollaig and Nora." Sorcha picked the two biggest children. "C'mon, hurry."

"Baede Eilis and Baed Malachi on the next one." Captain Brodie nodded finally. "Adda, you'll take Maire and the two other children. Mount up."

We helped lift the children up onto the horses and get settled. All but Sorcha looked mighty frightened at being up so high, but there were no complaints. Once we were all on horseback, we slowly set off.

* * *

The gates opened for us as the horns blew loudly. We hurried through and Captain Brodie let out an audible sigh of relief when the gates closed behind us.

"Gannon!" Eilis spied her baby in the arms of a waiting wet nurse and dismounted with a jolt. She lurched, but steadied herself and rushed towards her child.

"Baede." The nurse surrounded the baby to his mother.

"We've got to get you looked after." Healer Flanna put her arm around Eilis and began barking orders to her healers. They swarmed around, taking Maire and Malachi from us and inspecting the other children that were with us.

"We're all fine." Sorcha pulled away from a healer. "We just need a meal or two."

"And a bath." Captain Brodie tried to hide a smile and Sorcha scowled in reply.

"Come with me, all of you." Healer Flanna fixed the village children with a stare that left them no room for protest.

"I'll take the horses." I collected the reins of all our poor, exhausted mounts.

"You'll see that they're looked after?" Captain Brodie asked.

I nodded and began to lead them slowly to the stables.

"Can I help-" The stable boy began, then looked furiously at the horses. "You ran them to the ground!"

"Can you show me to their stalls?" I asked politely, ignoring the indignation of the small boy.

"I'll take them." The boy reached for the reins, but the horses pulled me along, heading towards their stalls themselves. The stable boy followed angrily, glaring at me with only the intention of protecting his beloved horses.

"I can take care of 'em." The stable boy leaned against the wall sullenly.

"I rode them to the ground." I began to remove the tack and saddles from the horses and let them into their stalls. "If you please, I'd like to give them a proper thank you."

The boy wordlessly handed me a bucket of brushes and combs that sat by the stalls. I began to go to work, as the stable boy began to fetch hay and water for his horses. When the horses were fed and watered, the stable boy watched me rub down the horses. His fingers twitched every so often, showing me that he was not so used to being idle when there was work to be done. "You do that well." He grudgingly admitted.

"I was a stable girl." I shrugged, taking up the hoof pick. "I learned."

"And what are you now?" The stable boy looked me up and down. "Captain?"

"No." I shook my head. "Soldier, I suppose." I finished and surveyed my work. The four horses were clean and cooled, and I set the brush down.

"Try to take more care with the horses next time." The stable boy looked as if he was going to bow, but just inclined his head. "And may luck keep you safe."

As I left the stable, a small, scrappy ball of fur pounced out at my feet, scratching and nipping at my boots. I tried to step away without hurting the little cat, but she entangled herself in my ankles and I fell. I sat on the ground, feeling very stupid. The cat smugly perched on my feet, calmly licking her paw.

**Tired, tired, tired.**


	31. Chapter 31

**I made a few changes to the story. Instead of only a hundred miles from the City of Caves to Lake Lorcan, it was more like five hundred. Adda had eighty miles to travel alone with Gannon. I thought it made more sense.**

**This is another one of those chapters that you've just got to write to get to the action, so it isn't my favorite, but it is worth reading.**

**Chapter 31**

"Hold steady." Captain Brodie whispered to the soldiers around us, and to me. "Don't budge until my order."

I tried not to move even the slightest inch, not wanting to rustle the grass. Captain Brodie's division and Captain Lart's division were stationed up on the side of the hill, hiding low in the grass and preparing for an ambush. General Eirnin, down in plain sight, had a full unit with him.

The force in front of us, the Etterites, marched in their straight little rows. They were upright and disciplined, and very foreboding. There were a lot more of them than of us, which was why we were hoping that our ambush would work.

The first few Etterite soldiers marched past the big rock, our landmark, and Captain Brodie whistled soft and low. Every soldier around me stood up and began to charge through the tall grass down the hill. They raised their weapons and gave a fierce yell.

I stayed low in the grass, because my fighting would not be with steel and I needed a good viewpoint.

The Etterites were all confusion beneath me, because Captain Eirnin had charged as well, but one shout from their commander calmed them and put them back into their rows. We had been counting on them panicking to lessen their odds, but I could take care of that.

I grabbed unto the grass around the feet of our enemy and began wrapping it around their legs. They looked down at their feet and tried to tear away, but the prairie grass was strong. They began shouting for their commander's help, he turned back to see what the matter was, and the Lorcanites were upon them.

It was slaughter. The Etterites barely had enough time to get their weapons up before they needed to use them. I had stolen their sense of balance and they fell easily, unable to get back up. Once they fell, I twisted the grass around their arms and necks. It was over within minutes.

A surge of nausea hit me as I stood, surveying my work. I hit my knees, heaving into the grass. They were the enemy, I told myself. They were just soldiers, but they needed to die. If not, they would kill my friends.

I stood, wiping my mouth on a handful of grass, and walked down the hill to meet the captains and the general.

General Eirnin's eyes were bright. "Did that take a lot out of you?"

I had already checked. "Not a tenth."

"The possibilities." General Eirnin muttered under his breath.

"You alright?" Captain Brodie might have caught a whiff of the vomit on my breath.

"Just did a little too fast." I lied. A high whinny caught my attention and I looked over to my left.

The enemy commander's horse wouldn't let anyone near him. He stood by his fallen rider, lashing out at whoever came close enough. He bared his teeth and shook his head. The soldiers trying to catch him backed up slowly, not willing to risk their lives for this horse.

"You couldn't kill twenty thousand soldiers at once, could you?" Captain Lart nudged me comradely.

"Huh?" I looked back at the captains and the general.

"Our spies tell us that's how many the Etterites have got." Captain Brodie explained.

"That's too many." I looked at the hundred and fifty soldiers lying dead on the ground. "I couldn't have killed these all at once either. Maybe I could have burned them, or choked them with the grass, but I couldn't have just...ended them. That's different. And this was hard enough, with the concentration. It's like, your mind all in a hundred places at once."

A soldier had grabbed a stick and they were grouping up on the poor horse. I quickly bowed to the general. "Excuse me."

I strode out to the horse and the soldiers. "What are you doing?"

The soldiers quickly stood at attention and one stood forward to answer. "Trying to secure the horse, sir...captain."

"I'll take care of that." I informed them.

"Going to use your magic?" One young, eager soldier asked.

I shot him a look. "No. My common sense."

I held my hand out to the horse. This close, I could see that she was a mare. She shook with exhaustion and fright, but still stood bravely. She was big, taller than most horses, and with muscles rippling through her skin. She was a beautiful thing, pure white all over, except for her dark nose, ears, and hoofs.

"It's alright." I spoke softly. "I know you're scared, I understand that." I pulled my hand back and her teeth clacked on empty air. I hesitantly stuck my hand back in the air. "Come now, there's nothing you can do for your man now. He's gone and you need to come away now."

The mare's head drooped a little and when I took a step forward, she only drooped lower. Filled with confidence, I reached out for her reins.

I shouted as she lashed out like a serpent and closed her teeth around my wrist. I heard bones crunch as she ground her teeth together. I screamed again and jerked my poor wrist from the devil horse's mouth.

I rapidly backed away, clutching my wrist to my chest. The soldiers raised their bows to the horse and began to pull the arrows back, but I whirled on them. "Shoot her and I will kill you!"

They hastily relaxed their bows and let the arrows fall to the ground.

I glared at the devil horse. She nickered innocently, smirking at me, if horses could smirk. "That wasn't funny. If you don't want to be civil, you can just rot here."

I turned around, whimpering a little as the bones shifted in my hand, and began to trudge back to the captains.

"Watch out, captain!" A soldier called out a warning and I felt a breath of hot air on my neck.

I began to spin around, but then I realized she wasn't doing any harm and she could have. I slowly turned, facing the mare. She stuck her nose into my face and I stroked it gently with my good hand.

"I hope this isn't another one of your tricks?" I asked. "I've only got two hands."

She puffed air into my face and dropped her head to lap at my pockets.

"I haven't got any treats." I told her. "Just a bit of chicken, but you wouldn't care for that. When we go to the stables, I'll get you something then."

She bobbed her head like she understood, and I began to wonder just exactly how smart she was.

"Let's get some of this off you." I moved to her back and removed the saddle, setting it on the ground. Her back was sweaty and she sighed as it was exposed to the cool air.

"You calmed the beast." General Eirnin walked towards the horse, his eyes appraising her. "I thought she had bested you."

"She did." I admitted. "I'd given up."

"Hmm." General Eirnin kept his distance from the mare, still looking her up and down. "You want her? She's yours."

"Thank you." I called to his retreating back, then turned back to the milky-white mare. "That's only if you agree, of course."

* * *

I entered the stable, leading my white mare. "Carrig? You about?"

"He's with one of the horses." One of the stable boys called out and I recognized his voice. He was the one who had reprimanded me for the fast riding we had inflicted on the horses we had borrowed.

"Then can you give me a hand, Quinn?" I patted my mare's neck.

Quinn sighed loudly, but I could hear him rise. "What do you need, mistress?"

"A stall, if you've got one."

Quinn came around the edge of a stall and his jaw dropped. "She yours?"

"If she wants to be." I shrugged, but I was proud of my mare. She seemed like she wanted to be mine.

"She's glorious!" Quinn slowly walked forward, eyes filled with awe. "I'd best fetch Carrig!"

While he was gone, a small head peeked out from the edge of the same stall that Quinn had been in. He was one of Sorcha's children and he smiled to see me.

"Alroy, is it?" I smiled at him. "You work here now?"

The corners of his mouth turned into a smile. "I like horses."

"You've found a good place. Are you working hard?"

Alroy nodded shortly. "Quinn's teachin' me."

"Then you're learning from the best. Keep your ears open." I advised. "You want to pet my horse?"

Alroy hesitated, but then stepped closer.

"Be nice?" I asked my mare. She rubbed her head against my shoulder to get out an itch.

Alroy reached up and patted her nose. He laughed quietly. "Her whiskers tickle."

"Do they?" I asked. "If you have a treat, she'd like one."

The little boy sorted through his pocket, revealing a handful of sugar cubes. He fed them to her one by one, holding his hand flat to avoid getting nipped.

Carrig, led by Quinn, walked through the stable door. "This is her?"

"She was an Etterite's warhorse." I told him. "Can you ask her name?"

I let my mare's reins go as she stepped forward to greet the wildmage. Carrig touched her neck, her withers, acquainting himself with her. I imagine he was speaking to her as well, through the wild magic that bound them.

Carrig stepped back after a moment, realizing that the two stable boys were still watching. "Haven't you got work to be doing?"

Quinn and Alroy sighed, but went back to the stall to finish their work.

Carrig's voice sounded hoarse. "She's well-trained, to be sure, and a good, strong mare."

"Does she want to be mine or..." I let the question trail off.

"She'd be happy to be yours, and she's a bit sorry for biting you." Carrig chuckled. "Her name's Xalia."

"Xalia?" I patted my horse's side. "A pretty name. Where should I put her?"

"Nowhere." Carrig took the reins from me. "You've got to get your wrist looked after."

"I suppose." I looked at my swollen wrist. "I'll be back."

I went to the infirmary, where I got my wrist splinted and bandaged. I was told that it should be healed in a month, but that I should come back in a week's time to be sure that it was healing straight. A month was a long time to not be able to use my hand. Devil horse.

A messenger was sent to bring me to the council room. I went reluctantly, only wanting to return to the stables and not think of war, but I went.

In the large council room, General Eirnin and most of the captains waited for me. Raes Grivan was there, as well as Eilis, Malachi, and Maire.

"Hey." I sat next to Eilis, where she coddled baby Gannon. "Can I hold him?"

Eilis relinquished him, smiling at me. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I shrugged. "I was never in any danger."

"I wish I could have gone." Malachi frowned.

"We learned the error of sending Baed Cormac's children into battle." Raes Girvan put his hand on Malachi's shoulder. Eilis flinched, but recovered and nodded her agreement.

"If you weren't in any danger," Eilis noticed my wrist. "How did that happen?"

"A horse bit me." I grinned. "My horse bit me."

"You've got a horse?" Eilis asked.

"She was an Etterite horse, but now she's mine." I explained. "Her name's Xalia. I'll show her to you if you'd like."

"I'd like that, but I think they mean to keep us here all day." Eilis smiled ruefully.

"Yes," Raes Girvan nodded. "We've many things to discuss."

"The first," General Eirnin stood. "Adda, we are aware of how dangerous you are. Turned against us, you could be a threat."

"She wouldn't-" Malachi interrupted him furiously.

"Hush." I cut him off. "Let him talk."

"Thank you, Adda." General Eirnin continued. "Turned against us, you could destroy our cause. Will you swear allegiance to the Lorcanites?"

"No." I answered evenly. "I'd rather not. I'm a free person and I'd rather stay that way. If it eases your concerns, I have no intention of turning against you."

General Eirnin nodded. "I will have to accept that."

"That isn't fair!" Malachi hissed into my ear. "He should trust you!"

"Why?" I whispered back. "He hardly knows me. He's doing the right thing."

Malachi sat back, still fuming.

General Eirnin leaned back in his chair. "The next matter of business is how we will use you. Do you have suggestions?"

"With the army." I decided. "I'd be most useful in the bigger battles, where the odds are in the enemy's favor."

The general thought that over. "I agree. We might have some missions for you, if you'd be willing. You'd be on your own, but only someone of your power could attempt them."

"I'd be willing." I shrugged. Baby Gannon whimpered in my arms and I handed him back to his mother. "I've a question. If the Etterites are defeated, will the gods lift the curse and return back to this land?"

Raes Girvan answered. "How could we know? We hope that it will be the case, but there is no way to know for sure."

"They'd better." I muttered.

"My goal is to have defeated the Etterites in six months' time." General Eirnin explained. "That means we need to act swiftly. We are no longer on the defensive; we will head straight for the heart of the enemy. Every captain must be ready to lead. Every soldier must be willing to sacrifice their life. Every healer must have perfect knowledge of their art. Farmers must be ready to supply troops and to give everything they have to secure freedom. Are you with me?"

The captains shouted loudly and I nodded when the general looked in my direction.

"He'll do, I suppose." Malachi begrudgingly grumbled his approval.

General Eirnin sat down again. "Now, there is much to attend to."


	32. Chapter 32

**I uploaded twice a week. You all should be very happy. Of course, this means that I probably won't update next week, in which case you guys should just pretend that today is Monday.**

**Chapter 32**

I stumbled from the tent, wiping the sleep from eyes and pulling on my boots. The other female captains were grouped around the fire, trying to get warm and cook some breakfast before they had to attend to their duties. I searched my vest pocket for my gloves, but they must have fallen out while I was sleeping. I began to head towards the place where Xalia was picketed.

"Hey, Adda!" Captain Brodie called me over. "I fed her when I fed my horse. Come and get warm."

I hesitated a moment.

"Hot tea?" Captain Daimhen offered me a cup.

I resolved to visit Xalia later.

I took the cup from Daimhen, balancing it on my bandaged right hand. "Thank you."

Ula and Brodie exchanged a quick glance as I sipped the tea. They thought I didn't notice, but then Brodie leaned forward.

"We don't mean to be..." Brodie began, then rethought. "You don't sleep very well, do you?"

I looked down at my tea. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't really." Ula reassured me.

"Then you must sleep like a rock." One of the captains around the fire snorted. "She woke us up and we were three tents down."

"Move along," Ula ordered. She was a senior captain, so the younger one had to obey.

"You didn't scream or anything." Daimhen nudged me comfortingly. "And we've all had nightmares."

Thankfully, Brodie changed the subject. "Word is that there'll be a battle today."

Daimhen laughed. "That's been the word for three days now."

"Word might be true this time." Brodie unconsciously ran her fingers over the buckle to make sure that her broadsword was secure at her waist.

"Here," Ula handed me a toasted slab of bread and cheese. "We already ate."

"Thanks." I sat on the log next to Daimhen and began to gnaw on the bread.

"It might snow today." A captain remarked, gazing up at the cloudy grey sky.

I shivered slightly and sipped at my tea. Midsummer had already passed and it seemed wrong to wear thick vests and woolen hats.

"Oh, don't fear." Brodie teased. "This is warm, for our winters. Did it not snow where you come from?"

I remembered cold winters, with no coat or shoes, struggling through snow to carry out our work. "It snowed."

"Not like it snows here." Brodie seemed to brag. "You haven't seen anything until you've seen one of our winters."

"Snow up to here." Ula held her hand up at her eye-level, which was my shoulder-level.

"The winds howl like wild animals." Brodie smiled.

"I think I might swim back home." I grinned easily and shook my head. Maybe I had grown soft. I would just have to toughen up.

A small girl wearing the messenger's seal ran into our circle of tents. "General Eirnin urgently requests to speak with Mage Adda!"

I stood quickly and handed my half-empty cup to Daimhen. I dipped inside the tent and grabbed my sword and dagger, strapping them on as I went.

"Did he say what it was about?" I asked the messenger girl.

"They don't tell me anything." The girl replied cheerfully. She saluted the soldiers that stood on guard by the general's tent and gestured for me to go in.

I entered the general's tent for the first time. It was large, more like a smallish room. There was a table in the center covered with maps and parchment, with a few chairs set around. Some majors, leaders with a rank above the captain, were sitting in these chairs. Others sat on a smallish cot in the corner or stood around the tent.

"Good morning, Adda." General Eirnin greeted more, only he didn't sound like he thought it was a good morning. "We are planning the attack and would like to instruct you in your orders."

"Yes, sir." I nodded.

"The Etterites are preparing for our attack, readying their trebuchets and flaming catapults."

"Trebuchets?" I questioned.

"A sort of long range catapult." One of the majors informed.

"Your order is to destroy the siege equipment and to do your best to protect our soldiers from the projectiles." General Eirnin told me. "You may move freely during the battle. Find someplace where you think you may be at best use. Can you do this?"

"It depends on how many they've got." I replied. "I've never really done this sort of thing before. For sure I can do the job better than anyone else. I'll give it my best, sir."

General Eirnin nodded. "If you cannot accomplish it, alert me. I have prepared a reserve force who will aid you if the task proves to be too much."

"Alright." I nodded. "When will we attack?"

"We will start moving towards the enemy as soon as this meeting has concluded." General Eirnin seemed to falter a little, like an oak tree that shakes in the wind. "I will give the order to charge two hours after noon. Majors, brief your captains and order them to prepare their soldiers. Adda, you will stay with Major Colum until the battle begins. His unit will be at the front."

Brodie, Ula and Daimhen were captains in Major Colum's unit. From what they had said of him, I guessed Major Colum to be a fair man and a good leader.

As all the majors filed out from the tent, Major Colum found me and clapped my shoulder. "Come along, young mage, we've got a good amount of work to do."

The bustle of breaking down camp had already began. Everything moved at double pace as soon as the majors spoke to their captains. Tents were stuffed in each unit's wagons, fires put out, and chain mail put on. Weapons were sharpened and shields inspected. Horses were collected from their areas and brought to their units.

"Here's your Xalia." A horseboy handed me the reins with a bow.

"Thank you." I patted Xalia and picked up her saddle, which I had left near my tent. I put it on her back and cinched it up. "In case no one told you, girl, we're going to attack the Etterites. I'm sure it's a delicate position for you, being one yourself. If you really want to go back to them, just dump me on the ground, alright? Otherwise, I'll do my best to keep us safe if you do yours."

Xalia seemed to snort her amusement, but it was drowned out by the deep laugh of a man behind me. I turned around to see who it was. To my embarrassment, it was Captain Shainin.

"Mage _and_ horse-speaker?" He grinned at me. "I'm impressed."

"Well you should be, boy." I drawled slowly to hide my embarrassment. Then, more seriously, I shrugged. "Horses are smart. I'd rather have her know what's what than not."

"Wise." Captain Shainin reached out and ran his fingers through Xalia's white mane. "She's a pretty thing."

"Yah." I rubbed Xalia's nose. "She is."

"I wasn't talking about the horse." Captain Shainin turned his brilliant smile on me. I become aware of how good-looking he was and couldn't think of anything to say. I opened my mouth to reply.

"Leave her alone, Shaine." Brodie came up behind me, handing me my missing pair of gloves.

"It's alright." I thanked Brodie with my smile. "I was just finding a way to tell Captain Shainin that he had something in his teeth."

Captain Shainin immediately closed his mouth, a slight flush appearing on his cheeks. Brodie laughed outright and I couldn't help joining her.

Captain Shainin realized that I had been jesting and the grin reappeared on his face. "Adda doesn't need your help, Brodie. She thinks on her feet."

Brodie sniffed at him. "But not on her back, which is what you'd rather."

"Ah, you love me, Brodie, you know you do." Captain Shainin kissed her cheek and whistled as he sauntered off.

"He's...interesting." I watched him go.

"He's a flirt." Captain Brodie shook her head, a grin on her face. "A good soldier, but a flirt."

"You're friends?" I asked.

"We've know each other so long, we'd either have to be friends or enemies." She looked back over her shoulder when one of her soldiers called her name. "Just don't be afraid to say no, alright?"

"I'm not." I told her retreating back. I reached into my pocket, bringing out a slice of dried fruit. I offered it to Xalia, who took it and bobbed her nose against my hand as a thank you. "It's not like I'm thinking about that, anyway. I've other things to think about."

* * *

I did have other things to think about. Captain Shainin was the last thing on my mind, because I had to think about the Etterite army stretched out in front of me, the hulking, wooden contraptions that I had to destroy but could barely make out, and Xalia, who was prancing nervously.

"Shh, calm down." I tried to steady my horse.

"From the captain." A soldier handed me a spyglass. I quickly put it to my eye and searched out one of the trebuchets. It was tall and spindly, with a series of pulleys. As I watched, the men working around it hauled back on the ropes and the trebuchet made a quick movement.

I dropped the spyglass and looked to the sky. About five stones had been flung through the air and now hurtled towards our troops. I raised my splinted hand to the sky and the rocks exploded, the shards falling to the empty field in front of us.

"Forward march!" General Eirnin bellowed. A soldier returned the spyglass to my hand and I nudged Xalia forward. She fell into place, shaking her mane.

I looked through the spyglass, finding one of the long-ranged trebuchets. Once it was in my vision, I whispered a few words and the throwing arm caught fire. I looked above me and seven projectiles were in the sky. I splintered them again, but it was the last time I could do so. Soon enough, our troops would cover the empty field and the rock splinters would be more dangerous than the rocks themselves.

I destroyed the last five trebuchets. Through my spyglass, I could see the soldiers frantically running about, trying to save their ruined machine. I grinned, satisfied.

"Shields up!" General Eirnin shouted. The majors echoed his call. A rain of arrows fell upon the front line's shields. I was in the forth line, apparently out of range, but I would soon have to worry about protecting myself and my horse.

A second volley of arrows fell on the third rank and I, being in the forth rank, brought my shield up as well. I tried to balance my spyglass on my still-healing right hand, but almost dropped it. I cursed quietly and rested my shield back on the saddle.

"Mage!" A soldier grabbed my arm and pointed to the sky.

I cursed again, louder this time, and hastily pushed the rocks back through the air. Their path reversed and they fell on their own soldiers.

"Charge!" General Eirnin yelled, briefly looking over at me. I was supposed to have destroyed all the siege equipment by the charge. I hung my shield on the saddle as Xalia began to trot.

I would destroy the catapults if I could find them. They were lower to the ground than the trebuchets and harder to see. I lowered my spyglass and watched for the next volley of stones. When they flew, I remembered where they had come from and guided them back to those places. I looked back through my spyglass and found that I had only smashed three of them. There were at least four more catapults.

"Fast charge!" General Eirnin ordered. Xalia began to canter and I raised my sword.

Our first rank hit the enemies' shields and many of them were cut down, but then the second rank killed the enemies' first rank while they were busy killing our own first rank. I brought my sword down on an Etterite soldier when he tried to grab my horse's reins. He fell, clutching his shoulder. Blood seeped through his fingers.

I heard the whir of stones through air, but it was too late. Behind me, I heard the distant crash and screams as the stone whipped down on some of our soldiers.

"Adda, we're here." Daimhen and five of her soldiers surrounded me. Daimhen sported a shallow cut across her cheek, but she was brimming with energy.

I nodded and sheathed my sword. I stopped the next set of flying stones, bringing them down on a bunch of horsemen. Their horses screamed with pain, the high, shrill sound burning my ears. Xalia jerked her head up and threatened to unseat me.

"It's alright." I reassured her, my voice shaking. I searched out the last few catapults. They had been abandoned, useless now that they were being used against their own army. I set fire to them anyway, just to be sure.

I slipped the spyglass into a pocket inside my battlevest and drew my sword. Daimhen and her soldiers were still protecting me, although there were only three of them left. "It's done. I can look after myself now."

Daimhen shook her head. "Orders are to protect you."

"Adda!" General Eirnin rode up beside me. "Do you have any power left?"

"Yes." I nodded. "Quite a bit."

"Can you do what you can?" General Eirnin asked. "The Etterites have quite a large cavalry with them. If they charge, we'll be cut to pieces."

I located the cavalry. I didn't need my spyglass for this one. The cavalry had already begun to charge and they made a fearsome thundering that shook the ground.

"Hurry, girl!" General Eirnin's knuckles were white on his sword hilt.

I had always been good at fire. It was easy to create and was willing to consume anything in its path. I hit the cavalry with fire, a wall of hot flame that eagerly ate up the soldiers and the horses. I ignored the pain-wracked screams and concentrated on the flames, holding it in my control. I wrapped my fingers up in Xalia's mane as she reared with fear. Someone grabbed her bridle and pulled her down, holding her so I could continue.

I ended the fire once the cavalry had burned. A thick cloud of black smoke rose into the air and charred shapes lay on the ground. A strange smell filled my nose and I could almost taste it on my mouth.

General Eirnin looked at me, a strange expression on his face, then turned his attention back to the battle. "Stay close to me, mage."

I nodded wearily, feeling the weight on my limbs and the exhaustion lapping at the ends of my consciousness. I shook it away and pressed forward.

A volley of arrows hissed sharply in the air and I broke them in half mid-flight, hardly realizing what I was doing. I found the line of archers and split their bows in half. They began to flee, but I broke their legs.

My vision went dim for a few seconds and I slumped against Xalia's neck. I shakily picked myself back up.

"Are you alright?" General Eirnin shouted.

"I can't use any more of my Gift." I swayed. "I think I used it all up."

"It'll be over soon." The general predicted. "Go to the back of our ranks, now."

He turned my horse around and slapped her rump. Xalia was careful with me, steering around the soldiers and bringing me to the back of the army. I dismounted, my legs barely holding me up, and sat on the trampled grass. Xalia nudged the back of my neck.

"I'm alright." I told her. "Just tired."

The healers were also at the back of the army, with the wagons full of bandages, herbs, and other supplies. They administered to the fallen soldiers that had been left behind as the army marched forward.

"Are you hurt, Captain?" A healer looked up from his work on a wounded soldier. The soldier clutched her hands to her side.

"No. The general ordered me here." I answered.

"Did he tell you to just sit or could you help me here?" The healer pressed a cloth to the woman's wound and tried to stop the bleeding.

"I'll help." I crawled to the soldier and pressed my hands over the cloth. "How's that?"

"Her side is cut open, but the sword missed anything vital. If I can stop the bleeding and sew the cut shut, she may have a chance." The healer swiftly threaded a needle and selected some herbs from a pouch on his belt.

I pressed more firmly and the soldier whimpered. The healer looked at the cloth, which was quickly soaking up with blood and reluctantly shook his head. "I've got to move on, to help those with the best chances."

"I worked as a healer in the city of caves." I gestured for the needle and for the herbs. "Leave those with me."

The healer nodded, handing me two small packet of herbs, the needle and thread, and a roll of bandages. "Pour the red packet in first, to cleanse the wound. Pour the second packet in to-"

"Hasten the healing." I finished for him, pocketing the herbs.

The healer nodded. "Thank you."

"I'm going to die, aren't I?" The soldier whispered. She didn't look scared, more resolved to her fate. She was older, maybe thirty or forty. The young ones were always scared, but the older ones had seen too much and grew tired.

"I'll do what I can for you." I promised. "Just take deep breaths."

"Deep breaths and calm down." The soldier repeated. "I took a spear to my shoulder, five years ago maybe. I figured then that I was a goner, but I healed up. Maybe this time..."

The bleeding looked to have stopped. I peeled up the cloth, checked again just to be sure, then opened up the red packet of herbs. I sprinkled it on the wound and the soldier clenched her teeth. I began to sew up the cut, piecing together the torn edges of skin. It wasn't a clean cut, but I matched up all the edges. I pulled the needle through the skin, working efficiently. The soldier looked to have passed out, which made my work easier. Once I finished, I admired my work. Next time Lotta had a baby, I would sew the quilt myself.

I sprinkled the green herbs on the stitches, then bandaged it. I raised my arm and called the healer's assistants over. They took away the unconscious soldier, to lay her with the other fallen soldiers.

"Nice job." The healer called over to me, from his work over another wounded soldier. "Why don't you go help the wounded that the soldiers bring in from the field? Tie your horse to one of the wagons."

I nodded, stumbled up and leaned against Xalia as I went to the field infirmary to repay my debt.

* * *

"Adda." Captain Brodie shook my shoulder. "Wake up."

I opened my eyes. For a minute, there were at least six Brodies, but then my vision focused. "I'm awake."

"We were looking for you. General Eirnin almost had a stroke."

"I was here." I looked around. It was dark and a few lamps were scattered across the field infirmary. I was leaning against a wagon wheel and Xalia was tied to the back of the wagon.

"I know. The healers said you passed out." Captain Brodie grabbed my arm and lifted me up. "Let's get you back to camp, alright?"

I nodded dumbly and let her help me up.

"The battle was over maybe an hour after the fire." Brodie wrapped her arm around my waist to hold me up and untied Xalia with her other hand. "We beat them, but it cost us. Are you alright?"

"Fine." I answered. My vision hazed again.

"Here, mount up." Captain Brodie lifted me up onto my horse, her muscles straining. She watched me sway for a moment, then mounted up behind me. "Were you wounded?"

"Just tired." I told her. I looked down at my blood-covered hands.

"We'll be at camp in a moment." Brodie nudged Xalia and we began to move. "You can eat and then you can sleep."

I nodded and began to rub the dried blood from my hands.

"Soldier," Brodie stopped a man. "Would you inform the general that Mage Adda has been found? Tell him that she'll be with Major Colum's unit." Her voice faltered a little bit as she said this, but she nodded to the soldier.

"Yes, captain." The soldier walked off.

"We're almost there." Brodie reassured me. "They've made a pot of stew."

I could smell it and my stomach groaned.

"Is she alright?" I could hear Ula, but my eyes had closed and I did not see her.

"No," Brodie answered. "She's not."

My eyes reopened. "I am." I dismounted by myself, swinging my leg over in front since Brodie was behind me. I shook a little on the ground, but made my way over to the fire. Once I sat, I looked back, remembering Xalia. I began to stand.

"No, sit." Brodie rode off on Xalia, taking her to the other horses.

"Here," Daimhen handed me a bowl of warm stew. "Eat."

I chewed the stew slowly, letting the heat warm my insides. Brodie was back before long and she received a bowl of stew as well.

After a bit of strength had returned to me, I worked up enough courage to ask something that had been worrying me. "Who died?"

Ula sat near the fire, stirring the pot. "Major Colum. Lart, Terea, Matiana, more that you don't know."

"I lost half my division." Daimhen lowered her head.

I finished my stew and set the bowl aside. I held my hands to the fire, hoping to warm them. They looked rather eerie. I hadn't been able to get all the blood off and my hands seemed to shine with it.

"I'll get you a bucket to wash them in, if you'd like?" Ula offered. She didn't wait for my reply, stepping outside the circle of light, then returning with a bucket. I dipped my hands in it, scrubbing them fiercely to rid myself of the blood.

Brodie returned as well, dropping down next to Daimhen. She put her arm around the other woman's shoulder and pulled her into a hug. Daimhen buried her face in Brodie's shoulder and wept. When she was done, Daimhen pulled away and wiped her eyes. Her face relaxed and she looked at peace.

Something inside me twisted and I looked away, trying to push my jealousy aside. It wasn't Daimhen's fault that I couldn't feel at peace and surely she deserved it more than I did.

"Rumor is we march in the morning." Brodie informed us quietly. "Maybe another battle by the end of the week."

I stood abruptly, stumbling towards the tent. I opened the flap and fell to my knees inside. I dropped my sword belt to the ground and my fingers fumbled at the ties of my battlevest until it loosened. I unwrapped my bedroll and clumsily slipped myself inside, not bothering to take my boots off.

I lay on the ground, staring at the top of the tent.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Brodie ducked inside the tent, beginning to take off her belt.

"I'm fine." I still stared up at the tent.

"If you say so." Brodie sat on the ground and pulled off her boots. She undressed quickly, slipping into her bedroll. Ula and Daimhen were not long to follow. The tent wasn't large, which I was thankful for, as it was cold. Our bedrolls pressed together and soon I became warm. The sounds of their breathing filled the air and one by one, they drifted off to sleep.

I did not.

**Awesome chapter, or what? It took me at least ten hours to write, but I definitely think it was worth the effort. Well, time to return to reality.**


	33. Chapter 33

**I'm sorry for the delay, but I've got excuses. Read on if you care, skip if you don't. First of all, my computer is having seizures. It's got a virus or something, which made it a little hard to write. Secondly, I had to play in the pit orchestra for the school play, which took up almost every night last week from 6-10. Thirdly, I got a baby kitten yesterday! And fourthly (is that a word?), I just wasn't very motivated. Sorry. Enjoy. **

**Chapter 33**

"We saw your magic all th'way from camp." Alroy shyly told me, petting my horse's leg.

Cara, another one of Sorcha's children, nodded her agreement. "It was all bright 'n sparky."

"Like this?" I closed my fist and quickly opened it. A puff of sparks crackled in my palm. Xalia shook her mane, annoyed at my noise-making.

Cara and Alroy giggled with delight.

"Or like this?" I reopened my fist a second time, letting loose a small colorful bird like the ones I had seen in the Copper Isles.

The two children reached up in an attempt to capture it, though their fingers slid right through it.

I laughed easily. There had not been a lot of mage work for me in the battle that morning and I was hardly tired at all. It was only midday, the sun was shining bright on the powdery snow, and there was no sign of a past battle by the horses' corral.

Over Xalia's back, I saw Major Shainin lead two horses into the corral. He handed them off to a horseboy and caught sight of me. He grinned and weaved his way around the horses towards us.

"Good day, Captain." I pretended to be consumed with brushing Xalia. Then pausing, I looked up at him. "Major. It's just so hard to remember."

"I'm sure." Shainin retorted, looking at me from Xalia's back. "You're just upset that I got a promotion before you did."

I raised an eyebrow. "What would they promote me to?"

Shainin thought. "Mage? Witch?"

"The general would have to reorganize ranks and I don't think he could handle that." I shrugged.

"He would have a stroke." Major Shainin agreed.

"That's what Brodie said." I stopped brushing. "Why do you both think he'll have a stroke?"

"Long story." Shainin took the brush from my hand and began working on the other side of Xalia. "Involving empty boots, a chamber pot-"

"Never mind." I interrupted him. "I don't want to hear it."

"Wise choice." Shainin winked at me, crossing in front of Xalia to stand on the same side as me.

"I want to hear it." Cara piped up. We both looked at her and her cheeks pinked a little bit.

"Don't you have work to do?" Shainin rested his hand on Alroy's shoulder. The little boy flinched, but then smiled up at the major.

"Most everyone brought their horses back already." Cara answered. "And we don't have to take the corral down 'til tomorrow. Can we have the story?"

"I've got something better." Shainin helped me to fasten Xalia's blanket. "Some of the other children have started sledding on the east hill."

"We haven't got sleds." Cara bit her lower lip.

"Neither have they." Shainin took the lead rope from Alroy's hands. "They're using Etterite shields."

Cara and Alroy were off in a matter of seconds.

"And I've got to meet with General Eirnin." Shainin sighed. "I'll see you later, Adda."

"Yep." I nodded. "Bye."

Once he had left, I buried my face in Xalia's warm mane.

* * *

I sat near the fire, peacefully sharpening my dagger and losing myself in the relaxing repetitive motion.

Something hit my back with a thud. I turned around to see what it was and something cold and wet hit me full in the face. I sighed, letting the snow drip off my face.

"I'm sorry, Adda, I had to." Daimhen laughingly entered the circle of tents, brushing snow off her hands.

"It's alright." I sheathed my dagger and pocketed my whetstone. Using my gloves, I mopped the water off my face. In a swift movement, I leaned down and flung snow into her face.

"Hey!" Daimhen sputtered, spitting out the snow. She reached down to grab a handful of snow.

"What are you doing?" Ula emerged from our tent, looking at us amusedly.

Making a split-second decision, Daimhen launched her snow at Ula rather than me.

The older woman froze. Her eyes opened and she glared at Daimhen, who giggled. She began to walk towards the offender. "We are soldiers, Daimhen. We are soldiers fighting in a war. Soldiers must act like soldiers."

Guilt-faced, Daimhen nodded and looked down. Ula whipped out a snowball and mashed it into Daimhen's face.

I laughed at Ula's trickery, packing the snow in my hands to form a hard, little ball.

"Throw that and die." Ula raised her eyebrows at me.

"You can't kill me." I replied cheerfully. "I'm much too valuable." I pulled back my arm, ready to throw the snowball.

Horns sounded, causing us all to jump. I quickly discarded the snowball, stepping on it to crush it.

"Damn." Ula swore, rushing to the tent to collect our weapons. "I had thought we had finished for today." She grabbed my short sword, tossed it to Daimhen who handed it to me.

"You'd best hurry." Daimhen nudged me.

I strapped on my sword as I ran to find General Eirnin. There was no time to fetch Xalia, but I figured I would be alright on foot. Xalia was sometimes a nuisance, anyway. She was distracted and frightened when I did my large magics.

The horns led me to the slight slope on the south side of the camp. Horsemen were attacking in swarms, but our line of defensive spears was holding strong. I raised my hands to aid them in some way.

"We could use those horses." General Eirnin commented, leaning on his horse and preparing to mount. "To replace the ones we've lost."

"Oh." I replied, frowning. "What should I do?"

"Scare them off, if you can. Make them dismount their horses." General Eirnin shrugged. His eyes drifted to the defensive line. "Have you got it handled?"

"Yes." I smiled, realizing what I should do. It might even be fun.

The general raised his eyebrows at me, then shook his head and rode off.

I walked closer to the battle, until I was about a hundred feet away. I crouched near a tent, then created a dream for only the Etterites to see.

At first, their horses were perfectly normal, all hoof and nose as usual. Then, they rapidly began to change. Hoof changed to clawed paw, nose to a sharp griffen's beak. The horses' tails morphed into hissing snakes. The Etterites screamed in horror and threw themselves off their surprised horses.

The dream-sending began to slip. It was too hard to keep it from reaching our own soldiers. I tightened my hold on it and let our own soldiers see it. They backed up hurriedly. General Eirnin shouted for them to retreat.

The frightful roar of lions reverberated through the air. The Etterite soldiers turned and began to run. I almost felt a little bad for them. Their surprise attack was not going very well for them.

A line of lions began to pound through the snow, towards our camp. The Etterites turned and ran to the west, chased by the lions. I laughed to see their hasty retreat. I'd run too, if I was being chased by one of those large, powerful creatures. Of course, my dream lions weren't at all real, but they couldn't know that.

Once the soldiers were out of range, their lions disappeared. They kept running. I let the dream of the deformed horses slip away as well, and stood up.

The Lorcanite soldiers were too afraid to go anywhere near the horses. I strode towards the soldiers. "It's alright. What you saw wasn't real. You might want to collect all the horses before they run off."

"You first." An old soldier met my eyes rebelliously. He trembled.

"It's really fine." I promised. They stared at me expectantly. "Oh, alright." I turned to go to the horses.

"No, you're coming with me." General Einrin swooped up behind me and cut me off. "Soldiers, fetch those horses. The mage wouldn't allow you to go near them if they weren't safe. Go!"

The poor soldiers could not disobey a direct order.

The general nudged me with his foot, hard enough to hurt. "What were you thinking?"

"I was making them dismount their horses." I looked up at him in surprise. "It's what you wanted me to do."

"No, it's not!" The general began to shout, a vein pulsating in his forehead. "Can you give us some warning next time you do something unnatural?"

"Everything I do is unnatural." I shrugged. "It was only an illusion."

"How were we to know that?" General Eirnin was still yelling and we were beginning to attract attention.

"Well, I couldn't do something that powerful." I explained. I was starting to feel foolish, as if I was a child being reprimanded or like I was back in Tortall being chewed out by Master Salmalín. "Also, the horses weren't panicking. If I was-"

"Gods, girl!" General Eirnin interrupted me. "When you're seeing something unnatural, you're not thinking rationally!"

"Oh." I didn't know what to tell him.

"You should have warned us!" The general's hands were shaking and he slumped a little, muttering to himself. "To see something like that, at my age..."

"'M sorry." I shrugged. "I'll try to give you some warning next time, but I can't make any promises. I might not have time to tell you what I'm going to do."

General Einrin nodded. "I know."

"Just get used to seeing unnatural stuff." I smiled up at him. "Or stop using me in battles."

General Eirnin grumbled as he nudged his horse into a trot, leaving me standing on the hard, cold ground.

* * *

"Have you ever been in a blizzard?" Brodie asked me.

"Nope." I shook my head. "We had a mage where I grew up. He could give us some warning and we'd all be taken inside."

"Well, our blizzards are the fiercest in all the world." Brodie seemed to be bragging. "You only have a few seconds warning and then you've already been surrounded by white, swirling snow. You can freeze to death in a matter of minutes if you're unprepared."

"I didn't know what I've been missing." I replied dryly.

Ula laughed, switching her reins to her other hand.

"It's why we have to go back to Lake Lorcan." Daimhen explained. "We could lose half an army in a deep freeze. If a blizzard hit in the middle of a battle, it could be even worse."

"I'm not complaining." I leaned back in my saddle, stretching my legs. "I miss walls and roofs and fireplaces. The general isn't happy though. He wanted the war to be over by now."

"Well, no one is foolish enough to argue with winter." Ula commented. "He's wise to bring us in."

"How long does winter last?" I asked.

"A few months." Ula answered. "Three at the most."

"We'll recuperate." Brodie guessed. "Let wounds heal. Repair weapons."

"Sleep." Daimhen added.

I doubted that I'd been getting any sleep. Real sleep was just a fond, fond memory. I caught snatches of sleep, bits and pieces here and there.

"Yes, even you, Adda." Brodie reached over and patted my arm, reading my mind. "We'll get you to sleep yet."

"Yah, yah." I grinned at her. "I'll be happy enough to get a good meal."

"What?" Ula stared at me in mock indignation. "My cooking isn't good enough for you?"

"Say nothing." Daimhen warned me. "Ula, your cooking is excellent. I'd never wish for anything else."

"Mmhmm." Ula tried to hide her amusement.

"Well, who'd you rather have cook?" Daimhen questioned us all. "Brodie hates it, I always burn it, and Adda's just no use."

We all laughed at that. It was going to be good to get back to Lake Lorcan, that was for sure.


	34. Chapter 34

**I didn't reply to any of the reviews last chapter, but I might start up again. I feel very repetitive though, like all my review replies read "Thanks for the review!" or something like that. So I'll review to the ones that make a comment about something or that ask a question. Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter.**

**I wrote this in less than three hours and yet, I feel that it is an amazing chapter. Just wait until you see what happens. **

**Chapter 34**

"Carrig," I paused thoughtfully, hoping I wouldn't offend the head hostler. "Was your ma a god?"

Carrig laughed. "Why do you think my parents were gods?"

"My friend has wild magic like you do." I nodded towards Carrig's hands. He couldn't see it, but his hands shone with copper light as he healed a cut on a horse's leg. "Her da is a god."

"Wondrous land you come from." Carrig commented. He reached up and scratched his scalp where his grey hair was retreating up his hairline.

"And others have wild magic as well, but none as strong as you or Daine." I added.

"Am I as strong as this Daine?" Carrig asked.

"No." I shook my head. "She can turn into an animal if she pleases. Unless you can do that..."

Carrig snorted. "Course not, girl. The reason I'm so strong is my breeding."

"Your relatives?" I tried to understand.

"Yes. The magic was nurtured in the bloodline, you could say. Fathers chose wives for their sons based on the girl's gift with animals."

"Oh." I nodded. "So the gift grew stronger?"

Carrig set the horse's leg back down, good as new. "Of course, some children refused to have their mates chosen for them, but I come from a line of very obedient children."

"Bet you're glad for it." I watched him gently stroke the horse's side.

"And you?" Carrig turned to me curiously. "Do you get your magic from your bloodlines?"

"It was chance, I think." I shrugged. "I didn't know my father. He might have been a mage."

"But magic generally runs through bloodlines in your land?" He asked.

"Same as here, I suppose." I stood, stretching my stiff legs.

"You've been too long idle." Carrig raised his eyebrows. "Haven't you got work to be doing?"

"Yes." I sighed. "None of it's very interesting. It's all meetings with the general and his aides."

"And you're playing the great mage, huh?" Carrig teased. "Too important for lowly meetings with the head of the army?"

I scowled at him, making sure he saw it before I left.

The wind was bitterly cold. I pulled my fur cloak tight around me and hurriedly walked from the stables, through the nearly empty streets. I only had to walk two streets down, to the throne room. Then, I could take indoor corridors and staircases to the council rooms.

I slipped a little on the icy street, but caught my balance before I lost it completely. I was tired of winter, even if spring meant that we'd have to return to the battlefields. And to think, in Tortall the fields were blooming with wildflowers that glistened in the hot sun. It wasn't fair at all.

The council rooms were heated well though, so I forgot my complaints. I sat in a large chair, near the general. This meeting hadn't started yet, which was fortunate. I didn't really want to interrupt, just in case I angered the general.

General Eirnin nodded a greeting to me over the table. "Good afternoon, Adda."

"To you too." I greeted back.

"You missed the last two meetings." He informed me.

"Did I?" I tried my best to look slightly apologetic. "I was held up elsewhere."

"I'm sure." The general sounded amused. "You didn't really miss anything important. The suppliers argued about logistics the whole time."

"Do I need to be here for this meeting?" I asked hopefully.

"I'm sorry. We're discussing tactics."

"Oh." I leaned back in my chair. I knew that these meetings were necessary, that they helped us prepare for our spring campaign, but they always seemed so redundant.

The spies reported, telling us that the Etterites were spying on us, trying to figure out who our mage was and how best to combat the mage. The spies also informed us that the Etterites were also preparing to march in the spring.

"We have been toying with the idea of using a decoy." General Eirnin leaned towards me seriously.

"What?" I frowned, not knowing what he meant.

"During battle, we could use someone else to pretend to be you and draw out the attackers. You would be free to use your power without detection."

I shook my head. "Someone else would be taking the arrows meant for me."

"It would be their sacrifice." The general countered.

"I'll just be more careful not to attract attention." I told him. "I'll blend in better."

General Eirnin and his majors went over new strategies and movements for their troops and new ways to incorporate my magic into better defensive for the army and for Lake Lorcan.

"I'd still be better at offensive tactics." I shrugged, after the general listed off a number of things I might be able to do. "I wouldn't have to be worried about hurting some of our own."

Finally, General Eirnin stood from the table and dismissed us all. I tried not to appear too relieved as I shoved my chair back.

"Adda!" Maire bounced into the council room, her red braids bouncing off her head. She threw her arms around me, then pulled away.

"You lost more teeth." I cupped her chin in the palm of my hand. "How do you eat your food?"

"She only likes pudding now." Baede Eilis entered the room, rolling her eyes.

"Well, that's not very good." I raised my eyebrows at the little girl. "Do you know I didn't have pudding until a year or two ago?"

"Ever?" Maire's eyes widened.

"I survived. You can too." I tugged on one of Maire's braids. "Eat your vegetables."

"Hello, Adda." Malachi hefted baby Gannon on his hip. "How was your meeting?"

Since General Eirnin was still in the room, I lied for his benefit. "Very informative."

"We were in a meeting too." Malachi told me. "We're getting bodyguards."

"I didn't think it was necessary." Eilis frowned. "We already have guards."

I had been told that the royal family were to receive specially trained, professional bodyguards. "Safe is good."

"You say that only because you still have your privacy." Eilis pointed out.

"Maybe." I shrugged. I looked past Eilis, where Shainin saluted the departing general, then leaned against a seat. He grinned at me.

Eilis followed my gaze, smiling as she turned back to me. "Who's that?"

"A friend." I answered honestly.

"A special friend?" Eilis teased.

"A friend." I replied again.

"Sit up at the main table tonight." Malachi passed Gannon to Eilis when he started to cry. "You always sit with the captains. Sit with us."

"Alright." I nodded. "Hey, Shainin, walk with us. We're going to supper."

Shainin sauntered towards us, tried to put his arm around me and did not look in the least put out when I covertly avoided the arm.

"So, you're a major?" Eilis questioned.

"Yes, Baede." Shainin answered politely. "I've only just been promoted."

"Congratulations." Eilis inclined her head gracefully.

"I'm not sure if you shouldn't be offering condolences." Shainin grinned wryly. "The job's much harder than I'd thought."

"I'll trade with you." Malachi offered. "My life is pretty cozy."

"Done." Shainin shook hands with the boy. Both parties were jesting, obviously.

Maire slipped her hand into mine. "Will you sit next to me?"

"Sure." I agreed. "But only to see that you eat your food."

Maire frowned a little bit.

"It's your duty." Malachi nudged his little sister. "To grow up strong and healthy so you can bear strong and healthy children to continue-"

"Enough of that." Eilis warned Malachi. "She's too young to be hearing such talk."

"No I'm not." Maire argued. "One of the maids talks about it all the time. _She_ says that if the other maid lay with any more men-"

Red-faced, Eilis slapped her hand over Maire's mouth. "I pray that she does not know what she's saying."

Malachi's shoulders were shaking and the corners of Shainin's mouth were turned up.

"That's the last time you'll talk of that." Eilis softly swatted Maire's rear end. We had reached the dining hall and Eilis led Maire inside.

"Hey Adda, wait up a minute." Shainin caught my arm.

"I'll be right there." I told Eilis.

Malachi winked at me as he passed.

"What is it?" I leaned against the wall, lazily scratching my shoulder.

"Do you ever kiss for fun?" Shainin asked.

I thought about it, trying to ignore the heat that spread across my face. I'd only ever kissed Trom. While it had been fun, it hadn't been just for fun. "No, never."

"Would you like to try it?" Shainin ran his fingers lightly down my arm, stopping at my wrist.

"Stop that." I casually brushed his hand away. "You're such a flirt."

Shainin grinned. "I can't help it."

"Probably not." I agreed.

"Can I kiss you then?" Shainin asked. "Just for fun?"

I hesitated, looking both ways down the corridor to make sure we wouldn't be overseen. "Just for fun. It won't mean anything."

Shainin leaned in and kissed me. It was different than Trom's clumsy kisses or the passionate kisses I'd seen Daine and Master Salmalín share. It was just...fun.

Shainin rested his hands on my shoulders, pulling me towards him. I leaned into Shainin, parting my lips slightly to allow his tongue entry. For a minute, he seemed to respond, but then he pulled away. He grinned at me, panting slightly. "See, wasn't that fun?"

"It was fun." I nodded, almost dumbly. "I liked it."

"Yah, me too." Shainin offered me his arm and we walked towards the mess hall door. "Maybe we can do it again sometime?"

"Yah, maybe." I shrugged.

"See you later."

"Yah." I watched him head towards his table, trying to ignore the feelings inside my gut.

I headed towards the main table, sinking into the empty chair that Eilis and Maire had held for me.

"What did he want?" Eilis asked curiously.

"He needed to go over some messages that the spies had given us." I lied smoothly. "Pass the potatoes, please."

* * *

The night was still. I could see the outline of the sentries marching on the castle walls. A few soft flakes fell from the sky, to land on the mounds of frozen snow. I could see my breath freeze on the glass and my teeth chattered slightly.

"Come back to bed." Brodie sat up slightly, seeing me standing by the window. Her eyes were tired with sleep. I smiled at her.

"I will. I'm just going to take a walk." I sat on the edge of my cot and pulled on my breeches, tucking in my nightgown. I wrestled my feet into my boots.

Brodie lay back onto her pillow, already asleep.

I stood up, quietly walked past the rows of sleeping captains. The men slept downstairs, the women on the middle floor, and the majors on the third. I headed towards the staircase.

Majors had their own rooms, although they were tiny, almost closets. The major's names were carefully printed on the slate board by their doors. I found Shainin's room and stood by his door.

I hesitated, then leaning towards the door and whispering quietly. "Shainin?"

A few moments passed and I heard no movement inside. I turned to go.

The door opened and I whirled back around. Shainin stood with his sword held loosely in his hand, tousled hair, and a bare chest.

"Oh." He sheathed his sword. "Just you."

"I'm sorry to wake you up." I apologized. I realized that coming had been a bad idea.

"It's alright." Shainin waited for me to explain myself, but perhaps my confused face gave me away. "Would you like to come in?"

I entered his room. There was barely enough room for the both of us. His cot was on one side of the room, clothes piled haphazardly on a chair in the corner, and weapons hung on the other wall.

"I wasn't trying to pressure you." Shainin hung his sword back on the rack. "Just because I flirt doesn't mean you've got to give me anything. You can go now, if you'd like."

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. "We're friends, right? And it is just for fun."

"Are you sure you're sure?" Shainin pulled away from me a little bit.

"I'm sure." I replied firmly.

Shainin nodded and gathered me into his arms.

* * *

I lay in his arms, staring up at ceiling.

Shainin shifted under me. "Sorry my cot's so small."

"My cot's just as small." I sat up. "I've got to go anyway. I don't want anyone to see I've been..."

"Sleeping with me?" Shainin chuckled.

"Well, yes." I shrugged, checking to see if I'd hurt his feelings.

"Don't worry. I won't tell." Shainin sat up as well, handing me my clothes. "I don't want anyone to know I've been sleeping with the mage."

I grinned and shook my head, slowly pulling on my clothes.

"Not to pry..." Shainin began. "Was that your... first time?"

"I hope I wasn't-"

"No." He hastened to reassure me. "It was very enjoyable, really. You were just seemed a bit new at it."

"It was." I nodded.

"Oh." Shainin thought about that for a moment. "You should have waited then. You should have lost your virginity to someone you were in love with."

I laughed shortly. "I wasn't a virgin."

"I thought you'd said-"

"Yes, but I'd been raped." I shrugged. "No point in waiting if there's nothing to give away."

"Oh." Shainin paused, as if he didn't know what to say.

"May I have my breeches?" I reached for them. "And it's alright. You don't have to say anything or..."

Shainin handed over my breeches. "I'm sorry."

"I said it was alright." I clumsily pulled on my breeches in the dark. "He's a land away, and six feet under. I didn't put him there, I swear."

"You had every right to." Shainin ran his hands over my back, finding the whip scars through the cloth. "Did he do those?"

"No, that was someone else." I struggled to pull on my boots.

"Why don't you make a light?" He steadied my hands amusedly.

"Oh." I lit up the room briefly so I could finish dressing.

"Too bad we didn't think of it before you put your clothes on." Shainin grinned wolfishly.

I couldn't help laughing. "Good night, Shainin."

"It has been." Shainin winked and pushed me out the door. "Dream of me."

I walked quietly down the hall, yawning. For sure I'd sleep well now.

**I know, right? It's Adda and she just had meaningless sex. **

**About the sex, I'm not going to get graphic. I'll describe kissing, I'll describe some touching, but I'm not going to get graphic. Not only would I be going on null experience, but I would lose the respect of some of my readers. Besides, Tamora Pierce doesn't describe unnecessary details. So, just to give you guys a heads up, this story will continue to be PG-13. **


	35. Chapter 35

**Very much delayed, I know, but if I work on a new chapter tonight I might be able to post a new one tomorrow to make up for it.**

**Chapter 35**

"We need a force to retrieve Baed Cormac." General Eirnin announced. "He has been captured by the Etterites, but they won't be expecting us to rescue him in the dead of winter. It will be an extremely dangerous mission, which may not even be successful."

Shainin was standing next to me. He shifted on his feet, and his arm brushed mine. A jolt ran through my body. I quickly stepped back and tried to keep my face from reddening. Shainin glanced at me, the hint of a smile on his lips.

I redirected my attention to the general, who had never stopped talking. "-will need to be flexible and creative in finding ways to reach the baed. Brute force may not be beneficial here. Because of the nature of the task, you are permitted to deny the assignment."

General Eirnin pulled a slip of paper from his pocket and began to read off the names. "Soldiers Faolan, Pearse, Gadhra, Magoad, Cante and Macarth. Captains Tiernay and Raith. Major Shainin."

The men and women all leaned forward, seeing who else had been called.

I shifted in my seat. Most other people in the room had been given assignments, but I hadn't been.

"I'll go." I volunteered.

"It's not what I assigned." General Eirnin said. "We need you here."

"I'm not doing anything." I countered.

"We need you here _safe and sound_."

I laughed. "Out there, I'm the least likely to die of anyone. Here, I might die of boredom."

"I can give you things to do." The general offered.

I leaned forward. "General, without me, they have a slight chance of coming back alive with Baed Cormac in tow. With me, the task seems somewhat probable. I can keep them warm, protected, and headed in the right direction."

"With all due respect, Mage," One of the women bowed slightly. "You are from a different land. We know how to stay alive in blizzards."

I bowed back. "That I believe, Major, but you cannot deny that my services would not be of use out there."

"Alright, you may go." General Eirnin grumbled. He turned to the soldiers that he had called. "You'd best keep her safe."

"Thank you." I grinned.

"Captain Brodiewill help you to choose supplies." General Eirnin ordered.

"Yes, sir." I answered happily.

"And you will need to leave as soon as possible." General Eirnin told all of us. "In thirty minutes, we'll send you off. Don't worry about horses, we will prepare them for you. Meeting adjourned."

Everyone around the table stood, talking excitedly about their new assignments. Brodie made her way towards me. "We'd best hurry then, if you're too leave that soon."

We rushed to the supply room. Brodie chose me a high quality leather pack with ample room.

"I wish I could go." Brodie held my bag as I filled it with things from supply shelves. "The general has me training recruits with Ula. You need twice as many socks."

I did as she said, filling the bag with more socks.

"And you'll need special boots." She reminded me.

"Those are boots?" I looked at the shaggy, furry things.

"Don't make fun." Brodie selected a pair. "These'll fit?"

I inspected them. "They'll fit."

"You'll take one change of clothes." Brodie instructed. "Take care of them. You'll change socks, to keep them dry, and undergarments, when you have to. For your monthly, you'll have to wash your pads in the snow, then bury the snow so the blood can't be seen. You'll have a hard time taking care of your hair. Some of the women will probably cut theirs off. Do you want that?"

I ran my fingers through my hair. I'd never thought it was very pretty, being straight and not curly or wavy, but I really didn't want to cut it all away.

Brodie smiled at my hesitancy.

I sighed. "Alright. How short?"

"To your neck, at least." Brodie showed me, touching her own hair. "It'll grow out again."

"I know." I nodded, trying not to complain. "I'll do it."

"Alright, I think we've got everything we need." Brodie tossed me the bag. "Let's go back to our room to change."

I pondered over the decision to cut my hair. It was simple, really. I needed my hair cut so it would be easier to care for. It should be that simple, really, but all the women I'd known growing up had had long hair. It was greasy, of course, and sometimes not all that attractive, but we still had long hair.

"Come now." Brodie caught me with a frown on my face. "Surely it's not that bad?"

"No." I shook my head. "I was thinking of something else."

"Sure you were." Brodie laughed. "Don't worry, I'll make it look good."

Brodie pushed open our door and I squeezed through with my pack. I dropped it one someone's cot and began to undress. Brodie closed the door and started to sort through my pack. Once she had ordered everything and I had undressed down to my underclothes, she crossed to a shelf at the front of the room and retrieved a pair of scissors.

"Sit." Brodie pushed on my shoulder, draped a blanket around my shoulders and began to snip away at my hair. I watched the pieces float to the ground as my head grew lighter and lighter.

Someone knocked at the door. "Adda?"

"Come in." I called back.

Eilis stepped into the room. "I just heard."

"It's alright." I reassured her. "We'll bring him back."

"No, Adda." Eilis smiled at me. "I'm worried about _you._"

"Well," I shrugged. "We'll bring me back too. Don't worry."

Eilis took in the scene before her. "You're cutting your hair?"

I nodded, and Brodie hissed at me and held my head still. "So it'll be easier."

"Oh." Eilis watched curiously.

"There, done." Brodie snipped one last time and threw the scissors down on the bed.

"Can I see?" I asked, twisting around.

"No," Brodie hastily stepped in front of the mirror. "We'd best hurry."

I decided that if it was that bad, I probably didn't want to see anyway.

"Put this on." Brodie handed me a set of long underwear.

I shivered as I removed my own underclothes. "Am I supposed to take those off everytime I need to relieve myself?"

Brodie snorted. "That's what the flap is for."

"Ooh." I quickly put them on. They were very warm.

"Back when our country was filled with nomadic tribes, we would have no protection from the elements but for what we wore." Eilis told me, helping me to figure out which garment went on next.

"I feel like a bush." I complained, pulling on the bearskin pants.

"Awww." Brodie smiled at me and pinched my cheek as if I was a child.

"This next." Eilis helped me to wriggle into the heavy vest.

The door opened and Shainin entered, stepping casually into the room as if he had been invited. He was similarly dressed head-to-toe in his warmest clothes.

"You didn't knock." Brodie disapproved. "She wasn't dressed a moment ago."

"And it would have been so awful to see Adda-" Shainin noticed Eilis. "Good morning, Baede."

"What do you want, Shainin?" Brodie fastened my hood over my thick woolen cap.

"I came to fetch Adda." He explained, his eyes widening. "Your hair."

"Do you have something to say?" Brodie shot back defensively.

Shainin chuckled. "You let Brodie cut your hair?"

"It looks fine." Eilis reassured me quietly.

"I let Brodie cut my hair once." Shainin continued. "Girls wouldn't look at me for a year."

"You had awful hair to begin with." Brodie raised her eyebrows, turning to me and Eilis. "He did."

"Here, put this hood on." Shainin pulled the furry hood tight around my head. "There, now no one can tell."

I pushed him away. "I think it looks fine." I told him, although I hadn't seen it yet.

"In any case," Shainin's smile dimmed a little bit. "We've got to leave soon."

"You can have her now." Brodie looked me up and down, making sure I was dressed to her satisfaction. "Take care of her."

"I can take care of myself." I hugged Brodie. "Bye."

While we were hugging, Brodie whispered into my ear. "I pack you some antipregnancy herbs."

I pulled away, giving her an incredulous look. "You knew?" I choked out.

"Of course." Brodie smiled. "Thank me later."

"Be careful." Eilis clasped my gloved hand between her hands. "Please?"

"I will." I promised, swinging my leather bag over my shoulder. "I'll be fine. Take care of our little prince. Alright, Shainin, I'm ready."

Shainin snuck looks at me through the corner of his eye as we walked down the hallway. He seemed to smile like he was amused.

"What?" I finally demanded.

Shainin looked over at me. "I've never seen you so...bundled."

"I've never been so bundled." I raised my eyebrows. "So?"

"I think it's cute." Shainin couldn't help the smile that crossed his face, just like I couldn't help the ridiculous flush that spread across mine.

"Don't be embarrassed." He squeezed my should comradely. "Lots of women are cute. That redheaded soldier in Ula's division, the new captain, Brodie...and you."

"I'm not embarrassed." I protested. "I'm just not used to being described as cute."

"Well, you are." Shainin put his arm around my waist flirtatiously. "Can I kiss you?"

"No." I stepped away. "Someone might see."

"Oh, I remember." Shainin laughed. "We mutually decided not to let anyone know we've been sleeping together. Because we're both equally embarrassed of who we've chosen to do it with."

"Don't say it so loudly." I warned him.

"It's time people know." Shainin teased, placing a quick kiss on my cheek. "I know you volunteered because you couldn't bear to be away from me."

"That's it." I jabbed his ribs. "You've got me all figured out."

"Ow." Shainin rubbed his ribs with a wounded expression on his face, then efficiently put me in a headlock.  
"Ow!" I yelped, even though it really didn't hurt. I twisted away and tried to glare at him.

"And by the way," Shainin reached out and brushed the short tendrils of hair from my face. "I love your hair."

"Yah, whatever." I scoffed at him.

We had reached the stables. The stable hands were holding the reins of tall, shaggy ponies, already packed with food supplies, tents, and the blankets we would need. The men and women chosen for the task stood near General Eirnin. We joined them.

General Eirnin looked around the circle, checking that all the group was there. Then, he nodded solemnly. "Ride east until you reach the coast, then head south. May good fortune be with you all."

The stable hands stepped forward, calling out names and handing us the reins of our ponies. I secured my pack on the back of my pony, noted his sturdiness, and mounted.

And then we rode out.

* * *

I grimaced as my legs shook on the cold snow. I removed the saddle from my pony and set it on the ground. I stretched my legs briefly to get the kinks out, then shifted through my pack to get the grain for my pony. We were going to have to figure out a better way to get feed for our mounts, but for now we would have to use our supplies.

"Alright?" Shainin asked as he tended to his pony.

"Fine." My voice cracked with misuse. I cleared by throat. "Just tired."

"Who do we take orders from?" A young, shy soldier looked over at us, almost afraid to meet our eyes.

"Nobody." Shainin answered. "We're all equals on this mission."

The girl nodded. "Where should we set up the tents?"

"Where do you think?" Shainin questioned the soldier.

She assessed the area. "Doesn't matter, sir."

"Pick a spot." Shainin suggested.

I helped the soldier set up the tent. She looked to be about my age, only a little shorter, and a lot prettier. We dug deep into the snow, probably about three feet down, until we had a small, flat space. Two of the men started to do the same about five feet away from our space. Then, we lay the tent down in the hole and propped it up with the rods we had carried with us. The rods were made up of three shorter rods with hollow insides that fit together with short, thinner sticks.

After we had finished, the soldier offered me her hand. "I'm Brevan Pearse."

"Adda." I shook her hand. It was more like a slap of the hand, since our thick mittens wouldn't permit a proper handshake.

I fetched my mess kit from my pack and went to the fire. The other woman had made some thin soup, with some rice, jerky, and melted snow. I sipped at it, so grateful for the warm liquid that it was easy to ignore the taste.

One of the men hobbled the ponies together in a clump, so they wouldn't wander. We moved our packs into the tent, stomped out the pitiful little fire, and moved into the tents.

There were four women in the tiny tent, but I was glad, because with all our bodies pressed up against one another, it got toasty inside the tent.

"Move your elbow." One of the elder women grumbled.

"How we supposed to know who's elbow that be?" The other shot back.

Brevan moved to the side to avoid conflict, just to bump into me. "Sorry."

"It's alright." I shivered, my eyes drooping. I breathed deeply and let it out slowly.

"Move your elbow!" The woman snapped, then sighed sheepishly. "It's my pack. I get cranky when I'm tired."

"We can tell." The other woman drawled.

"I'm Tallulah." The cranky woman introduced herself. "And you don't have to pay me any mind when I put on a fit."

A call came in from the men's tent. "Will you women stop chattering away and let us get some sleep?"

We fell silent for a moment, then someone shifted over and a new wave of grumbling and rearranging took place. I lay my head against my pack and closed my eyes.


	36. Chapter 36

**Obviously my Christmas has been rather boring, but at least I finished this chapter. It's rather good, I think. Thanks to Syril Silverleaf and dares to dream for telling me that I'd left all of the last chapter on bold so that I could fix it.  
**

**Merry Christmas!**

**Chapter 36**

The blinding sheets of white snow hit me with the force of a galloping steed. I tightened my hold on my pony's halter and bent into the wind as to not fall over. The ponies were all tied together with lengths of rope and Tallulah, the most experienced in frozen conditions, led us all.

I slipped on a patch of ice and fell hard. Luckily, I was too padded for my fall to do any real damage. I scrambled up, struggling in the fierce wind.

Faolan grabbed my arm and steadied me. He was young, like me, but had grown up surviving solely off the land. He began to yell into my ear, but I could barely hear him. "Feel out the ground before you step!"

I nodded to show that I understood and forged forward to catch up with my pony.

It was bitter cold. I used to bathe naked in a icy mountain stream in the dead of winter back on the old fief and I had thought that that was the coldest I would ever get. Here, I knew that if I even took off my clothes, I would be frozen in minutes.

I almost ran into the pony in front of me, which had stopped. I halted exhaustedly.

Tallulah stepped from the swirling snow and leaned close to my ear. "We have to stop and rest. Tell Faolan to pass it down the line."

I nodded and walked slowly to Faolan, keeping one hand on the rope like I'd been taught. I told Faolan and he started to tell the soldier behind him.

Tallulah brought the ponies into a circle and tied them close to one another. Macarth and Cante began to set up the larger tent. We'd only be sleeping in one tonight, to conserve heat.

I stood still, not knowing what to do. Shainin placed his hand on my shoulder. "Could you dig into the ice?"

I created a sheet of grey fire that spread, melting the hard packed snow. It was harder than I thought it would be, since the wind wanted to scatter my magic across the tundra.

Macarth and Cante set the tent into the crevice that I had created and Tallulah anchored the ponies to an ice pick she wedged into the ground. Then, all ten of us scrambled into the tent meant for six, bringing our packs and supplies.

"Well," Shainin remarked, Brevan almost on his lap and his arm around Pirjo, "I can't say as I really mind this."

"Leave them alone or I'll leave my ice pick in your brain." Tallulah warned.

"But then what would we secure the horses with?" Shainin asked curiously. Brevan scooted away from him. "Let's have a light, shall we?"

I hung a dim light from the top of the tent so that everyone could see.

"We won't be able to lay out." Tiernay remarked. "Not unless we lay all on top of each other."

Tallulah stuck a thin rod through a little hole in the tent. "For ventilation."

"We'll just sit up then." Pirjo's eyes were also half-closed. She crossed her arms and leaned against her pack.

"Get your bedroll out first." Tallulah gently pulled on Pirjo's pack. "And try to drink something."

"We should all eat." Shainin began to fish around in his own pack.

"We're running out of food." Macarth grabbed Shainin's arm.

"We can't just not eat." Shainin argued.

"We need to ration more." Macarth insisted.

"We've been rationing." Shainin frowned. "If we cut down even more, we'll have next to nothing."

"It's alright." Pirjo mumbled. "I don't need anything."

Tallulah reached for her canteen, but it was frozen solid. She handed it to me, a questioning look in her eyes. I took it, quickly warming it up to a comfortable temperature. Master Salmalín had said that extreme cold would amplify my Gift. I could see now that it was true.

Tallulah held the bottle up to Pirjo's lips to help her drink. Pirjo weakly sipped at it, but some spilled over and down her chin.

Macarth reached into his pack and found some dried oatmeal. He wordlessly handed it to Tallulah, who began to feed it to Pirjo.

"What's wrong with her?" I leaned closer to Brevan, who was the closest to me.

"Exhaustion, I bet." Brevan looked worried too. "Can you do something?"

I shook my head. "My Gift is too...I'm more likely to harm her than heal her. I can keep her warm."

"Insulate the tent, if you can." Tallulah began to peel off Pirjo's boots and gloves. "She may have frostbite. And heat some more water."

I surrounded the tent in grey sheets of impermeable magic, leaving a thin tube for fresh air, and got to work melting all the frozen canteens.

Tallulah hissed as she inspected Pirjo's pale, yellow fingers. She pinched one, but there was no response from the drowsy woman.

Cante picked up a mitten. "The lining's been removed."

"She should have known." Tallulah growled. "Adda, we need the water a bit warmer."

"Has she got it?" I asked, obeying the woman and warming up the water. "Is it frostbite?"

Tallulah didn't answer. She opened up the canteen and tried to dip Pirjo's fingers in it, but the opening was too small. I took the canteen from her and molded it into a bowl. Tallulah nodded and lay Pirjo's fingers in it.

Shainin peeled the glove off Pirjo's other hand and held the hand close to the light for Tallulah to see. She grunted. "Put them in the water."

Everyone else who wasn't helping had begun inspecting their own bodies for signs of frostbite. I made the light a little brighter.

As her skin began to thaw out, Pirjo began to whimper. She thrashed a little, but Tallulah kept her pressed down. "Adda, hold her down while I get some herbs for the pain."

I rested my hand on Pirjo's shoulder, sending her a calming dream of springtime, fresh flowers, and frolicking newborn lambs in the waves of green grass. She stopped struggling and even smiled a little bit.

"Does she still need the herbs?" Tallulah asked. Her voice seemed far away.

"Yes." My answer was sluggish and reluctant. "I can't stay in here all night."

Tallulah forced the herbs into Pirjo's mouth. "C'mon, chew."

Inside the dream, I handed Pirjo a soft pastry. "Chew." I told her.

Dream-Pirjo chewed and the real Pirjo did too.

I drew out, slowly pulling Pirjo out of the dream. The herbs had kicked in and Pirjo only moaned a little.

"Are you alright?" Shainin grabbed my shoulder, shaking me out of my daze.

I nodded. "I was warm. It was nice. Is she going to be alright?"

"I'm trying to save her fingers." Tallulah held the fingertips in the water. "Get some rest."

"Can I help?" I leaned against my pack. Some of the others had already fallen asleep.

Tallulah patted my shoulder. "Sleep."

* * *

"I don't think this is what Shainin meant when he said foraging." Faolan crouched next to me uncertainly.

"He didn't specify." I carefully observed the shack. "Let's go."

We burst into the shack, holding out our swords and shouting loudly. The man froze, reaching for the stout stick that leaned against the fireplace. A quick flick of my wrist and the stick was halved. The women gathered her two little ones to her skirt and backed into a corner.

"We don't want to hurt you." I explained. "We need your food."

"But my children will starve!" The man protested. "I-"

"Give it to them!" The women clutched at her babies. "Just give it to them!"

"Adda," Faolan faltered. He began to lower his sword.

"Think of Pirjo." I gestured for the man to fetch the food.

The man raised his hands and slowly made his way towards the wooden chest.

"Slowly." I warned him.

He nodded and opened the chest, removing a bag of wheat flour, oats, some dried meat, and a fresh skinned rabbit. He tossed them onto the table. "There's more in the cellar."

"Faolan, put them in the bag." I ordered.

Faolan shook his head. "This isn't like stealing from the Etterites or filching food from a field. This is wrong, Adda, this is stealing from our own. The Baed wouldn't want it, he wouldn't want us to do this for him."

"Then what are we doing this for?" I shouted, angrily slamming my sword point into the wooden table, then wrenching it out again. "What is Pirjo doing this for?"

"Come on, let's go." Faolan hesitantly reached for my arm.

My heart pounded. The quivering children angered me, even the way the mother protected her children angered me. I growled deep in my throat, sheathing my sword and lashing out to grab the rabbit.

"We're sorry." Faolan apologized as he backed out of the shack. "We're very sorry."

I stalked back into the camp, tossing the rabbit by the fire and going to stand with the ponies. Behind me, I could hear Faolan quietly reporting to Shainin.

After a few minutes, Shainin joined me. He put his hand on my shoulder, but I shook him off.

"What's bothering you?" Shainin softly combed the mane of a pony with his fingers. When I didn't answer, he continued. "Pirjo is going to be fine. Tallulah has done this before."

I gritted my teeth. "That doesn't bother me. Faolan called me out during a job. He shouldn't have done that."

Shainin stepped a bit to the side so he could see my face. "Faolan has a right to call any of us out on anything he thinks is wrong."

"But during a job?" I frowned. "He could've gotten us killed."

Shainin raised his eyebrows. "It seemed like you had things under control."

I knew he was implying something, but I didn't want to fight with him. Instead, I made my face a blank. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Shainin stood still for a moment, then sighed and left me standing by the horses.

* * *

"Pirjo." Tallulah gently pulled her up. "It's time. Adda, Macarth."

We stood to join her in the tent.

"Adda, I need as much light as you can give me." Tallulah requested. "And a flat surface, if you could?"

I illuminated the inside of tent, so brightly that my eyes hurt. I spread a sheet of my gift, so that it formed a sort of table. I tied it off so that I didn't have to concentrate so hard on it.

Tallulah slipped a small twig inside Pirjo's mouth to keep her from biting her tongue off. Pirjo began to tremble. "Don't cut off my hands, if you can help it. I need them to take care of my baby."

"She's got a son." Macarth mumbled. He was starting to look pale, but his hands didn't shake as he unwound the bandages.

"Sterilize this." Tallulah raised the saw-edged knife. I burned the blade with white-hot flame. "Put her in one of your trances."

Pirjo sent me one terrified, watery glance before I dropped her inside one of my dreams. I had worked on it all day so that I wouldn't have to think much about it during the amputation.

"Ready?" Tallulah asked.

Macarth nodded. "Ready."

I nodded too, but there was a lump in my throat.

Tallulah hesitated, leaving the knife a fraction above Pirjo's fingers before she pressed down. She began the cut a quarter inch beneath the blackened part of one finger. Blood began to seep out, then pump steadily. Macarth pressed on it with the cotton, then removed it so Tallulah could finish.

I watched with a sort of horrified fascination. Back on the fief, I'd seen the mage cut off a women's fingers because she stole a bit of food for her child. I'd only seen it from far away, and it had just been a quick slice and a lot of blood. This was more deliberate.

"Adda, are you still with me?" Tallulah asked, not taking her eyes off her work.

"Yes." I nodded.

"She'd better not come out of that trance." Tallulah reminded me.

"She won't." I promised.

Tallulah began to saw away on the bone. It made a soft, screechy noise, but the knife was sharp enough that it was over quickly. "Swab."

Macarth pressed against the stump and the cotton soaked through.

"Get this very hot." Tallulah held up a smaller, more delicate knife. "Very hot."

I burned it until it shone.

Tallulah pressed the knife against the stump, searing the wound to make it stop bleeding and to prevent infection. A sickly sweet smell filled the air and made me gag.

"If you're going to vomit, go outside!" Tallulah ordered. She was frowning, concentrating on sewing up the wound.

"I'm not." I managed to squeeze out. I breathed through my mouth and tried not to think too hard about the smell.

"Wrap that up tight." Tallulah watched Macarth bandage the stump, then went to work on the second finger. "Adda, try to clean some of the blood off the table. Use that rag over there."

I wiped away most of the blood.

The second finger went faster than the first, probably Macarth and I were getting used to the process and Tallulah didn't have to wait for us to do something.

"One hand down." Tallulah lay Pirjo's bandaged hand over the sleeping women's shoulder. "Three fingers on the next hand."

"What are you going to do with the fingers?" I asked, staring at the finger parts lying there as if it was perfectly natural for them to be apart from their hands.

"Why, you want them?" Tallulah smiled grimly.

Macarth turned an odd shade of green and fled the tent. Outside, we could him heaving into the snow.

"You shouldn't have done that." I remarked.

Tallulah seemed amused. "Maybe. Can you handle swabbing?"

"Yes." I took up the cotton.

"Need any help in there?" Shainin asked, standing outside the tent.

"No, Adda's taking care of it." Tallulah called back. "You take care of Macarth."

I watched Tallulah expertly work on the first finger of Pirjo's left hand. "I wish I could heal." I was a bit wistful.

"Why can't you?" Tallulah questioned.

"I never had a teacher when I was a child." I shrugged. "By the time I got one, it was too late and I couldn't do the small things."

"Was your teacher as powerful as you?" She wondered.

"He was the greatest mage in the country." I grinned. "Probably north of the Inland Sea as well."

"Could he heal?" Tallulah started on the second finger.

"No." I frowned. "But he could do everything else, it seems like."

"You miss him?" She asked. "Swab."

"Yah." I shrugged, trying to block out the hurt. "A little."

Tallulah tied off the thread and offered me the knife. "You want to do the last one?"

I hesitated, only reaching for the knife when Tallulah began to pull it away. I laid it on the last finger, waiting for her instruction.

"Cut the flesh. You've got to put a bit of pressure, but not enough to cut the bone." She watched me like a hawk. "Cut all the way around."

The knife slipped on the blood, but I steadied it.

"Good." Tallulah nodded. "Now start to cut on the bone. Cut further back than you cut the skin. Leave some skin hanging out for me to sew up. Make a clean cut."

I sawed away at the bone, watching little fragments fall away. It didn't take long until the blade cut through completely. I heated up the blade and stopped the bleeding.

"I'll sew it up." Tallulah threaded the needle and pulled the thread through the loose skin. "Why don't you start cleaning this up?"

I wiped off the blades we had been using and laid them on a scrap of cloth. "I can just burn all this blood up after you're done."

Tallulah nodded and finished the stitches. She bandaged up the finger and laid the hand across Pirjo's chest. I destroyed the magical table and the blood with a quick flash of fire.

"You want me to do away with the fingers?" I gingerly picked up the cloth bag they had been put in.

"Unless you're going to give them to Macarth."

I burned them all up, remembering not to breathe through my nose.

"Can you keep in the trance if you leave the tent?" Tallulah asked.

"As long as I stay within a hundred feet." I replied.

"Then you can go get some of the rabbit they're cooking." Tallulah nodded towards a bucket of water by the door. "Wash your hands and put your mittens back on before you leave."

Around the fire, they looked up at me with curious, nervous, and in Macarth's case, ashamed, faces. I sat down, taking the cup of rabbit soup I was offered.

After allowing me to take a few bites, Tiernay began the questioning. "How'd it go?"

"Alright." I shrugged. "Tallulah took five of the fingers off."

"Four." Tallulah corrected, emerging from the tent. "Adda took the other one."

"You cut?" Macarth sounded dejected.

"If she wasn't such a mage, we'd have to send her to healers to be trained." Tallulah praised.

I looked up in surprise. "It wasn't that hard. Anyone of us could've done it."

"Without throwing up?" Tiernay shook his head. "I doubt it."

I didn't answer and chewed up the tender rabbit. I was glad I'd stolen it._

* * *

Karel grinned at me, shaking the blond hair from his eyes. "You did real good."_

"_Where'd you come from?" I asked, trying to throw my arms around him._

_Karel shook his head and pushed me away, just like he would have back home. "Who cares, right? A better place than where you're at right now."_

_"I'd believe it." I said humorlessly. _

_"You could've cut our hands off." Karel held his hands up and clenched his fingers._

_"What?" I asked, stepping back. "Don't talk like that."_

_"Why?" Karel laughed. "You're cutting off fingers, why not hands?"_

_"Stop." _

_"It wouldn't be that hard." Karel mimicked cruelly. A thin line of blood wrapped its way around his wrists. "Just one little slice, one little slice and then saw through the bone. How nice and pretty you did it for that girl in there. Wasn't that way for us. Just an ax, just an ax and an awful crunch and then the pain. Wasn't any dream-trances to send us to. Just-"_

_"Shut up!" I pushed Karel back. "Why do you do this? I don't want to see you if you're going __to do this."_

_Karel pushed back. "Too bad you don't have a choice. We're coming for you, no matter what you want."_

_I cried out in horror as the army of armless men and one woman walked towards me through the fire. "I didn't do it! None of this was my fault!"_

_Lejo laughed and reached for me with his bloody stumps. The flames curled all around us and the bodies danced in the flames like hangmen. I burned, watching my fingers turn black and fall off. Then, my wrists started to crumble and caved in. Karel pushed me back, holding me still in the flames. Worms crawled through his empty eye sockets and the white gleam of bone shone through his decaying skin._

_I screamed, and screamed, and screamed._

Someone slapped me across the face and the sharp pain only made me struggle harder.

"Don't you dare hit her again!" Shainin sounded furious.

"I'm sorry, she was plain unnerving!" Someone, Raith maybe, apologized.

"Adda, stop that." Shainin put his hands over my mouth. "It's alright. We're here. Stop screaming."

I finally realized where I was and closed my mouth. In a cold sweat, I shook and shivered.

"I shouldn't have let her help." Tallulah remarked.

Pirjo whimpered, beginning to wake up. Tallulah forced some of the herbs in her mouth. Pirjo woke up anyway.

"My hands?" Pirjo raised them up to look at them. Her eyes met mine. "I've got no hands left."

"It's not my fault." My blood ran cold. "I didn't mean for it to happen."

Tallulah sent me a confused look, then consoled Pirjo. "No, you've only lost parts of some fingers. You've still got your hands. Adda, can you put her back?"

I tried. The fields weren't there, the warm sun wasn't there. "I can't."

"Try again!" Tallulah snapped, forcing herbs into Pirjo's mouth.

"I can't!" I shot back.

"Try harder!" Tallulah bellowed, as Pirjo began to writhe in pain.

I sent a prayer to Nadia, though she couldn't hear me in this godforsaken land, and breathed slowly. The fief seemed so far away. I gave Pirjo a dream of the warm fireplace in the council room.

"Are you alright?" Brevan handed me a canteen.

I nodded, gulping down the water.

"My heart's racing, I won't be able to fall back asleep." Raith sounded breathless.

"Sorry." I forced out, dripping water down my chin.

"Don't apologize." Shainin rested his hand on my shoulder. "It's not your fault."

Tallulah finished administering to Pirjo, and moved on to me. "Do you have a fever?" She felt my forehead.

"No." I shook my head. "I just do this. I hadn't for a while."

"Isn't there some way you can put yourself in a dream?" Tallulah asked. "To help you get enough rest?"

"I might never want to come out." I grimaced.

"Then let's not do that." Tallulah wiped the sweat off my forehead with the corner of my bedroll. "What helps you to not have nightmares?"

I tried hard not to look at Shainin. "Not sleeping?"

"That's not going to work." Tallulah commented. "We'll have to figure something out."

"I'll be fine for tonight." I sat up. "I've gotten enough sleep. I don't feel tired anymore."

"Are you sure?" Tallulah asked. "I can stay up with you."

"I'm fine."

Tallulah and Brevan lay back down, and soon enough, their breathing evened out.

"You're not fine." Shainin scared me. I hadn't known he was still awake.

"I said I was." I shrugged.

"And I didn't believe you." Shainin put his arm around me, moving closer. "Put your head on my shoulder."

I obeyed. "I really hate waking people up. It's the trouble with sleeping with a lot of people."

"You never had nightmares with me." Shainin remarked.

"You tired me out." I pointed out. "Why do you think I came for you in the first place?"

"My irresistible beauty?" Shainin asked.

I laughed quietly.

"Just sleep, alright." Shainin hugged me tight.

"Alright." I closed my eyes and gradually slowed my breathing, so that he'd think I'd fallen asleep. His arm loosened its hold on me and he began to snore lightly. I opened my eyes and stared into the blackness.


	37. Chapter 37

**I sort of apologize for last chapter. Even though I didn't really get any complaints, apparently, it was a bit graphic. I'm used to watching and enjoying all sorts of medical stuff, so I wouldn't have realized. Maybe I should have put a warning or something, though by the time you'd have read "Let's go cut her fingers off", I suppose you all would have realized what was coming.**

**Chapter 37**

I cursed vividly in Tortallan, cursing the absent gods, the cold wind, and the stupid ship that dumped me here.

Faolan watched me with mild curiosity. "Why do I get the feeling you've got some interesting words you haven't shared with me yet?"

"Watch your mouth, girl." Tallulah cuffed me lightly. "You're not acting like a lady."

"But that hurt!" I protested, clutching my arm. As padded as my arm was, Tallulah's stick had numbed it.

"You should've blocked it." Tallulah grinned with amusement as I shook out my arm. "Next time you will. Guard."

Instead, I went on the offensive, surprising her and gaining the advantage for a split second. With a nod of approval, she disarmed me. "Pick it up."

As I leaned down, she slapped me on the rear with her stick. I yelped.

"Be quick about it." She advised. "It's best if you roll to get it, as soon as it leaves your hand. Just don't fall on it."

I straightened up, red-faced. The Lioness probably would've done the same thing.

"Haven't you got work to do?" Macarth dumped a load of brushwood by the fire.

"This is work." Tallulah retorted.

Macarth picked up a stick and swung around to face me. "Let's see how she does with both of us, eh?"

Before I had time to protest, Tallulah and Macarth simultaneously attacked me. I was able to batter Macarth's rotting stick to pieces before Tallulah forcefully pressed the base of her stick into my neck. She danced closer, swinging behind me, leveling her stick, and effectively cutting off my air supply.

"What are you going to do?" She whispered. "Think, you'd have been gutted by now if I was an enemy. No magic, girl."

I twisted and wriggled, but I was stuck good. I weakly exhaled and went limp, completely relaxed. Tallulah immediately loosened her grasp, and I ducked, twisted, and pivoted away.

Tallulah reached out and ruffled my hair. "Very nice. We're done for now."

Shainin sat by the fire, sharpening our swords and daggers. "The conquered hero returns."

"Beaten and bruised." I tenderly sat down next to him, wincing as my aching bottom rested against the log.

"Here." Shainin tossed me my hat.

I pulled it down over my ears. It was a sunnier, warmer day than most and I had worked up a slight sweat, but I would soon grow cold again.

"I don't think it's fair that I can't use my Gift." I remarked, stretching out my legs. "If I had a third arm, I'd be allowed to use it."

Shainin laughed. "No one can know that you're here, Adda."

I shrugged. "Leave no survivors."

"I'm going to stick with Adda in a fight." Faolan wandered towards us. "Magic or not."

"After watching her get trounced with sticks?" Shainin sounded amused.

"She's got the right philosophy." Faolan pointed out. He gestured to the tent as he walked off. "I'm going to get some rest."

Shainin groaned. "I've got the night watch tonight."

"Too bad." I replied.

He winked at me. "Wanna stay up with me?"

I shivered. "Not on your life."

"Too bad." He grinned.

"Besides, it's unprofessional." I decided. "We're soldiers, not..."

"Humans with natural desires?"

"Ugh, stop." I squished up my nose at the awkwardness of his phrasing.

Shainin laughed easily, throwing back his head.

I nudged his side with my elbow, then winced as a dream-memory shot forward.

_"Adele, Adele!" One of the little girls stretched out her arms to her older sister._

_"Here." Adele found a board and laid it across the mud pit. "C'mon, Winnie."_

_Winnie trotted across the board unsteadily, tugging along the littlest sister. "What's next, 'dele?"_

_"Well, we've crossed the fiery pit of flame." Adele looked around for the next obstacle. "Next we got to escape from the awful...no, the dangerous dungeon."_

_"The dungeon?" Winnie's eyes went wide. "What are we doin' in there?"_

_The littlest girl tugged on Adele's skirt. "Where's Bertie? Can't he play wit' us?"_

_"No, he don't feel much like playin' today." Adele patted the girl's head and turned around. "Now if we don't escape soon, the guards'll be at us."_

_"We'd best hurry." Winnie's foot slipped on the edge of the mud pit and she lost her balance. Waving her arms wildly, she accidentally knocked her younger sister into the mud._

_For a moment, the little girl was too shocked to realize that she was stuck in the slime. Then, she opened her mouth wide and began to wail._

_"Stop that, Gia," Adele leaned over to help her up. "Help me, Winnie."_

I fought it back for a moment. "Sorry, I-"

"What was that?" Shainin's eyes were wide. "Was that you?"

"Sorry." I managed to get out, before the dream surged forward again.

_"I'm sorry." Winnie's voice began to tremble. "I didn't mean to."_

_"It's alright." Adele and Winnie pulled at the little girl. The mud let go with a loud squelch._

_"Ma's gonna be mad." Winnie's voice shook._

_"We'll wash her in the fountain." Adele suggested. "C'mon, Gia."_

_Gia refused to move. She was soaked in mud from her waist down, and she had rubbed it on her face._

_"Let's go." Adele tugged on the girl's arm. "I'm not gonna carry you, as messy as you are."_

_The fountain was a dilapidated, rundown fountain with a crumbling stone base. Adele pulled Gia's shift off and dipped it in the water. Gia shivered in the cold fall air. _

_"No decency." A housewife with a basket of wash on her hip and a kerchief on her head clucked at the children. "Can't you do that at home?"_

_"Nope." Adele replied cheerfully. "Winnie, you wash her and I'll tend to the clothes."_

_"Whose children are those?" The housewife quietly asked the woman standing next to her._

_"Winifred Archer's." The plump woman shook her head in disapproval as she whispered back. "She lets her children run wild. They're afraid to go home, I reckon, with all the strange men Mistress Archer entertains."_

_Adele's ears flushed bright red and her cheeks flamed, but she pretended not to hear. "Come now, Gia, we're almost done. Winnie?"_

_"Yep." Winnie tossed her the rag that she'd been using. As Adele scrubbed the rag against a washboard that someone had left, Winnie pulled Gia's shift over her head._

_"It's wet!" Gia protested, shaking._

_"It'll dry off." Adele promised. "Let's go."_

_"Wait!" The housewife began to fish in her pocket. "Take this and buy yourselves a treat from the market." She offered a coin to the children._

_Adele hesitated for a split-second, then ashamedly reached for the coin with her small, muddy hand. _

I shook my head as soon as the dream-memory had run itself out. "Sorry. I can't help that sometimes."

"That was you, wasn't it?" Shainin smiled. "Adele?"

"I guess." I shrugged. "I can't ever remember being called that."

"You mean, you didn't know all that before?" His brow furrowed curiously.

"Only what I've learned from the dreams." I answered. "I can't really remember anything from before I was eight."

"Hmmm." Shainin nodded, looking back at the knife and whetstone in his hands. "Was that what your city was like?"

"Only some parts." I smiled fondly. "Other parts were very nice."

"Help!" Macarth stumbled into camp, half-carrying Brevan. Shainin tossed down the knife and jumped up to help.

I slapped the tent. "Faolan, they're back!"

Brevan's teeth chattered uncontrollably and her eyes danced wildly.

"Adda, find Tallulah." Shainin ordered.

I took off in the direction that I had last seen Tallulah headed. I found in a pile of snow covered brush, digging up some roots with Pirjo. "They're back!"

We raced back, boots slipping on the snow as we ran back to our campsite. Macarth was helping Brevan to drink some cold soup while Faolan wrapped a blanket around her.

"Where are the others?" Tallulah demanded.

Macarth shook his head slightly. Tallulah took a step back.

"What?" I gritted my teeth. "All of them?"

Brevan shuddered. "They almost got me too, but Raith told me to run and I did. I left them to die."

"And well that you did." Shainin squeezed her shoulder.

"We found out where he is, though, before they found us out." Brevan bit her lip. "The prison camp Rhetok."

"That's good." Tallulah knelt down next to Brevan, grabbing her hand. "Are you hurt?"

"I don't think so." Brevan shook her head. "I just ran. I didn't stop."

"She's exhausted." Tallulah snapped her fingers at me. "Heat her up some soup."

I rushed to obey.

"Running for two days?" Faolan's eyes widened.

"I slept some." Brevan closed her eyes wearily. "I was so scared."

Macarth was pale. "Tiernay? Cante and Raith?"

I dumped some snow into a pot and had it boiling within seconds. I dumped in the dried soup mix, then set the pot on the coals to cook it. I put more energy into the coals to get them a bit hotter.

"Can you move your fingers and toes?" Tallulah asked Brevan. Pirjo subconsciously flexed her hands.

Brevan nodded. "I'm just tired. They got our ponies and our gear."

"It's alright." Shainin reassured her. "We've still got ours."

"I'm sorry." Brevan lowered her eyes. "Maybe I could've done something."

"No," Tallulah shook her head. "You tried."

"It's alright, Brevan." Faolan adjusted the blanket around her. "Adda, she's really cold."

"I'll heat up the tent." I pulled two stones away from the fire, slowly pouring heat into every inch. "They're ready."

"Alright, we'll carry her in." Shainin nodded to Faolan. The two men picked her up, carefully moving her into the tent. I followed behind, concentrating on the two hovering stones.

"Let's get these things off her." Tallulah pulled at Brevan's hat. "You men can leave. We'll call you if we need you."

We peeled Brevan's frozen outer layer off, fearing the worst. Luckily, the next layer in was dry. The innermost layer was warm to the touch.

"Thank the fates." Tallulah muttered.

"Yah." Pirjo agreed.

"Can you dry these?" Tallulah handed the wet clothes to me.

"By the fire." I gathered them. "I'd blow them to pieces if I used my Gift."

I handed the clothes to Faolan and took a bowl of soup from Macarth. I reentered the tent, which had become very cozy.

"Here." I offered the bowl to Tallulah.

She shook her head. "Brevan's going to be fine, once she gets some food and rest. You take care of her. I'm going to talk to Shainin and Macarth."

"Alright." I carefully spooned some soup into Brevan's mouth. Some dribbled down her chin. I tried to catch it before it dripped on the blanket, but I was too late.

Pirjo laughed at my frustration. "You've never fed a baby, have you?"

"Well, a few times." I defended.

"It's like this." Pirjo took the spoon from me, struggling to balance it between her healing fingers. She dipped it in the bowl, bringing it up to Brevan's mouth and expertly deposited it inside.

"Oh." I watched Pirjo do it. "You've got a son, right?"

"Two years old." Pirjo nodded. "He's staying with my mother while I'm out."

"Tiernay had children too." Brevan whimpered quietly.

"Hush." Pirjo soothed. "Eat this."

"Baed Cormac's alive." Brevan gulped down more of the soup. "We might be able to get him out."

"I hope so." Pirjo muttered.

It angered me to think that this might have all been for nothing. My hands shook and I stuck them between my knees so that no one would notice.

"All done." Pirjo set the bowl down. "Do you want more?"

"Later." Brevan laid her head down. "Can I sleep now?"

"Of course." Pirjo smiled and laid another blanket on the younger woman. "Will you stay with her, Adda?"

I nodded, sitting next to Brevan and arranging the packs and bedrolls around me.

"Adda?" Brevan met my eyes tentatively. "What if I have nightmares?"

I thought for a moment. "You probably will."

"I was so scared." Brevan bit her lip. "I don't want to have nightmares."

"I'll be here." I promised. "I'll put you into a dream."

"Alright." Brevan nodded, began to doze off. "Don't leave."

I slid into my bedroll and moved close to Brevan, hoping that the presence of a body would help keep the nightmares away, as it sometimes worked for me. I held her hand, to calm her and so that I would feel if she began to clench it. Poor girl.

**Remember to review, please. :)**


	38. Chapter 38

**It was lucky that today was a snow day, or this chapter might not have been written for a very, very long time.**

**Chapter 38**

"Are you sure we can't be seen?" Macarth muttered under his breath.

"Of course." I replied stiffly, every bit the insulted mage.

Me, Shainin, and Macarth had strode into the Etterite work camp as boldly as if we owned it. We only had to make sure that we didn't touch anyone or knock something out of place, and we would stay undetectable. Some people had no faith.

"Here." I unlocked the door to the prison lodge and, dodging a prison guard, began to look in every cell. Upon looking in one, I quickly unlocked the thick iron door with my Gift and entered.

I fell to my knees next to the weak, old man. "Baed Cormac?"

He raised his head slightly. Faded bruises were scattered around his eyes, but his eyes crinkled when he saw it was me. "Blessed Nadia, you've come for me." He began to chuckle, but coughed deeply instead.

I grinned sheepishly, remembering how I'd posed as the goddess when I'd first met Baed Cormac. "Nope, it's just me this time."

"I'll take it." He tried to sit up, but couldn't. I grabbed his arm and supported him.

"We're going to get out of here." I told him.

"My family?" Baed Cormac asked. "Did you get them to Lake Lorcan?"

"Yes." I gestured Macarth over. "They're safe."

"Evey, the little healer." Baed Cormac struggled to stand up, Macarth's strong arm as his support. "Can you find her?"

I nodded.

"Adda, we haven't got a lot of time." Shainin reminded me.

"We'll get her." I insisted. "What's she look like again?"

"Small for her eleven years, brown hair, brown eyes." Baed Cormac smiled.

"Where would she be?" I asked.

"I'm not sure." Baed Cormac began to cough again.

"Get him out of here." I stood, brushing off my knees. "I'll cover you and I'll find Evey."

"Adda-" Shainin began to argue.

"It'll be alright." I cut him off. "Just do it."

Shainin swallowed his retort and helped Macarth to steady Baed Cormac. I followed behind them, locking the cell door behind us with my Gift. Let them figure _that _out.

Our progress was much slower out of camp, but eventually we got the freed prisoner deep enough into the trees. I began to shed the warm coat and pants that I'd worn for weeks.

"What are you doing?" Shainin asked, catching the clothes as I threw them to him.

"Blending in." I hurriedly put on the thin dress that I'd pinched off a clothesline. I shivered fiercely. "I need to ask questions."

"You'll freeze." Shainin warned.

"Hardly." My teeth chattered. "I'll be back as soon as I get the girl back."

Before he could argue further, I hurried back to the camp. I fell into line with a group of women and let myself become visible.

The woman beside me gave me a startled glance. "Where'd you come from?"

I raised my eyebrow at her. "What d'you mean?"

She shook her head and continued walking.

"Have you seen a little girl?" I asked. "Smallish, brown hair, brown eyes, named Evey?"

The woman shook her head.

"Would you know where she'd be kept?" I questioned. "She's my sister."

"There aren't a lot of children here." The woman looked suspicious. "Only those being punished. What's she done? What you here for?"

Time to move on. I shrugged. "Same as everyone else."

I found another woman, a younger one, hopefully more likely to answer my questions without asking any.

She had overheard my previous conversation and did not even wait for me to speak. "If she's got a special talent, she'd be in service. Otherwise, she'd be working in one of the lodges. If she's a troublemaker, she'd probably be in a cell."

"She was learning to be a healer last time I saw her." I said.

"Healers' lodge is that way." The younger woman pointed. "Pretend you've hurt something and you'll get in."

I nodded my thanks.

I pretended to be sick. I clutched my stomach and wandered into the lodge, acting disorientated and confused.

"Sit right here and wait for a healer." An assistant helped me to sit, inconspicuously wiping her hand on her skirt after touching my hand.

I scouted the lodge as I waited. I saw about three young girls who fitted Evey's description. Two of them seemed mildly familiar. One of them gave me a second glance. I waved her over.

"Evey?" I whispered. She nodded, looking around nervously. "The baed sent me."

"You the mage?" Evey whispered back.

"Not here." I covered her mouth with my hand. "Let's go."

Evey reached down and took my hand, helping me up. "If they think I'm taking you somewhere, they'll leave us alone."

"They won't even see us." I told her with a smile. "Do you know where they keep the ponies?"

We rode out of camp, leading four more fresh mountain ponies.

"Are you sure they can't see us?" Evey's eyes were as wide as platters.

"Quite sure." I laughed.

We rode into our own temporary camp, carefully hidden in the trees.

"Fool girl." Tallulah greeted me. "You should have stuck to the plan."

"Smart girl." Macarth disagreed. "She brought us ponies."

"Put these back on." Shainin tossed me back my warm clothes.

I hurried back into my clothes, handing my dress to Evey to put on over her own.

"I'll get some of the extra things." Faolan began to rummage in a pack. He handed Evey a hat and some mittens. "We can cut up a blanket to make a coat."

"Thank you." Evey smiled shyly at Faolan.

"We'll have to leave now." Tallulah began to pack up the horses. "Baed Cormac, would you care to mount up?"

She offered him the reins to one of the largest ponies, which he would need. He was still uncommonly tall, even compared to the tall Lorcanite and Etterite men. He took the reins with a nod and mounted up shakily.

"Alright." Shainin gave a satisfied nod. "Let's go home."

* * *

I knelt on the frozen snow, as close to the fire as I could get without the fur on my boots smoking. I was keeping watch, making sure the camp stayed quiet and undisturbed. Brevan hadn't had a nightmare for a while, which was good.

One of the tent flaps opened behind me and I tried to guess who it was.

"Hey." Shainin sat down beside me. "Do you want me to relieve you?"

"I'm fine." I shrugged. "Not even a bit tired. Couldn't sleep?"

Shainin shook his head. "I keep expecting something's going to go wrong, now that we're on our way back."

"Nothing will." I answered. "Don't worry so much."

"Can't help it." Shainin replied cheerfully. "Of course, you could help me take my mind off it."

I laughed.

"All I'm saying is," Shainin teased, "Brodie gave you all those wonderful herbs and we haven't put them to good use yet."

"I suppose we didn't have time." I shot back. "Between all the starving, and the freezing, and the running."

"We could've found a spare moment." Shainin looked mournfully at the two tents. "Too bad we've got Faolan and Baed Cormac, or we'd have an empty tent."

"Poor boy." I pretended to sympathize with him. "Besides, I think I accidentally put the herb in the soup last week."

Shainin looked horrified. "Really?"

I nodded. "What do you think happens when men ingest an antipregnancy herb?"

Shainin was speechless.

"I didn't really," I reassured him. "But I did lose them."

Shainin let out an audible sigh. "You shouldn't do that, Adda."

"But it was so much fun." I answered, blank-faced, poking at the fire with a stick.

He shook his head wearily. "My ma would tell me to stay away from you."

"Kiss me." I whispered, a wave of pain hitting me.

Shainin looked at me, alarmed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I moved closer to him, turning up my face. "Just kiss me."

Shainin obliged, but only for a moment. "Tell me what's wrong."

I shrugged. I didn't even know.

"You miss your ma?" Shainin asked, pulling me tight against him.

"I don't remember my ma." I answered.

"Your da?" Shainin asked.

"I don't think I ever had one." I thought hard. "I suppose I miss Lotta. She was like my sister. We grew up together, on the fief."

"The fief?" Shainin wondered.

"We were slaves." I told him. "Slaves aren't allowed in Tortall, not anymore, but nobody knew about us."

"A slave?" Shainin seemed to squeeze me tighter without realizing it.

I nodded. "It was alright. My crew was like my family. Lotta had a baby just last year. That baby was the most beautiful little scrap of humankind ever. I miss Karel."

"Karel?" Shainin began to pull up the sleeves of my shirt, revealing the white scars left there by the metal bands that kept my Gift a secret.

"He was my little brother." I breathed deeply. "Sort of. Can we talk about something else?"

Shainin nodded, but couldn't seem to think of anything. I couldn't either.

* * *

"Tell me about my family." Baed Cormac rode up beside me. "How are they?"

"Maire lost some of her teeth." I informed him. "She wasn't talking for a while after we arrived at Lorcan, but now she chatters like a squirrel. Malachi feels useless, but he's as good-natured as ever. Eilis helps the healers in the infirmary sometimes, when she isn't needed somewhere else. Gannon...well, Gannon's still a baby. He doesn't do very much."

Baed Cormac had listened intently throughout my report. "Are Malachi and Maire keeping up with their studies?"

"Malachi is." I answered. "Maire finds any excuse to be somewhere else."

"And Eilis?" Baed Cormac asked. "Is she happy?"

"She still gets sad sometimes, when she thinks of Lauchlan. But I think she's happy most of the time."

"I need to tell her that it's alright to fall in love again." Baed Cormac frowned concernedly.

"Maybe you should wait a little bit more." I suggested. "It hasn't been that long."

The baed nodded. "I just want her to be happy."

"She will be." I assured him. "Especially when she sees you. They've all missed you a lot. They don't complain, but anyone can see it."

Baed Cormac smiled to himself. "I've missed them too."

"More or less than apple pastries in the morning?" I questioned with a straight face.

He reached out to swat me, but my pony sidestepped nimbly.

"Good horse." I patted her shoulder.

* * *

Shainin grabbed a cloth sack and stuffed it into his pocket. "Adda, do you want to forage with me?"

Faolan raised his eyebrows. "Do you remember the last time Adda went on a foraging party?"

"Shut up." I nudged him with my boot. "Yes, I'll come."

"Don't worry," Shainin reassured Faolan. "I'll keep her away from defenseless peasants."

"Thanks." I grimaced.

"Let's take the ponies." Shainin suggested.

I mounted up, not bothering to saddle the pony. Shainin followed suit.

We found an abandoned farm. There was a small barn, a slightly larger house, and a fence surrounding the area. There probably wouldn't be anything left behind.

"We can check." Shainin said, almost as if he had heard my skeptical thought.

The house was empty, save for a few pieces of dusty furniture and ragged curtains at the window. The barn held a small stack of moldy hay, a few rusty farm tools, and a wobbly ladder leading up to a loft.

"I'll see what's up here." I began to climb the ladder.

"Adda, it's probably not safe." Shainin warned, steadying the ladder so it wouldn't shake as much.

"Probably not." I reached the top and looked around. "There's a box under some hay. I'm going to see what it is." I crawled over to the the box. The lock fell off when I touched it. "This must be really old."

Shainin agreed. "This place looks haunted. Can you come down now?"

"Scared?" I opened the box, revealing the fully formed skeleton of a rat, or something. "Ugh. That's disgusting."

"Adda, the floor's sagging." Shainin warned.

"It's alright, I'm coming back now." I began to crawl towards the ladder. "It wasn't-"

I fell into empty space, grabbing at floor boards which weren't there for me anymore. I caught myself with my Gift, suspended in midair, practically floating.

"That's unnerving." Shainin remarked weakly. "Please come down now."

I floated to the ground, avoiding the rusty tools that I'd almost come crashing down on, and landed on my knees with a thump. Shainin helped me up.

"It was just a rat." I told him. "A skeleton. Who'd put a rat skeleton in a box?"

"You idiot." Shainin hugged me. "Can you not do things like that?"

"Things like saving myself from falling?" I wondered.

"Things like crawling onto a rotting loft." Shainin corrected.

"I didn't know that it was rotting." I shrugged. "I'm sorry."

"Let's get out of here." Shainin pulled me to the door. "Before you fall through the floor again."

"Not likely." I left with him.

* * *

The trumpets sounded and the gate opened to let us in. We rode in, trying to ride straight and proud.

General Eirnin stood in front of the open gate. He bowed to us and bowed very deeply to Baed Cormac. "It is my honor."

"We lost three, sir." Shainin reported to General Eirnin.

"I will inform the families." The general lowered his head with respectful sorrow.

"Sir," Brevan spoke up. "May I come with you?"

"Of course." General Eirnin nodded.

Baed Cormac dismounted, handing the reins of his pony to a stableboy.

"Send for healers and the royal family." General Eirnin ordered a soldier.

"Thanks, Alroy." I told the little stableboy who took my reins.

He blushed shyly. "I'm glad you're back, Mage Adda."

"Me too." I ruffled his hair affectionately. "Tell Carrig hey for me, alright?"

"Will do." He led the pony off.

We gathered the packs together, dumping them in a pile.

"Major Shainin, a report, if you please?" General Eirnin requested.

"Lost three on a scouting mission." Shainin listed. "Pirjo lost some of her fingers to frostbite. We were not sighted and had no direct confrontations with the enemy."

The soldier had returned, leading Eilis, Malachi, and Maire. They looked frightened, Maire leaning into Eilis for comfort, until they saw Baed Cormac.

"Da!" Malachi shouted, running towards his father. The baed threw his arms around his son, holding him tightly. Maire was not long to follow. She was tentative at first, but when she realized that it truly was her father, she flung herself at him. Eilis beamed at her father-in-law.

Baed Cormac fairly shone with happiness. "Where's this little grandson of mine?"

"We'll take you to him." Malachi took his father's arm to help him.

"Wait," General Eirnin called after the baed. "With all due respect, I didn't send my soldiers after you so that you could die of exhaustion. Visit the healers sometime soon and get some rest."

"We'll take care of him." Eilis promised the general.

General Eirnin gestured to Brevan. "We should tell the families before they find out themselves."

Brevan nodded.

General Eirnin looked us over. "You are all dismissed. I suggest you bathe."

Surprised, we all looked at each other before realizing that we were the filthiest people we'd seen in a long time. We probably reeked too.

Pirjo waited until the general had left, then shook her head. "I'm going to see my son first."

Tallulah nodded. "I've got someone to see." She left.

"Evey," I picked up my pack. "Do you still want to be a healer?"

"Yes." She nodded.

"I'll take you somewhere to be put to work." I began to walk.

After dumping my pack in my room, and grabbing some clean clothes, Evey and I headed for the stockroom where we selected some new clothes for Evey.

Lake Lorcan didn't have a bathhouse like the ones in Corus, but I wasn't about to complain. I sat in the wooden tub, Evey in a tub near me, while the attendants poured bucketfuls of water over my head. They had to keep draining the water, since it got dirty so quickly, but finally, they decided I was ready for the soap.

Tallulah and Pirjo joined us in the bathhouse before too long. I made a big show of wrinkling my nose when they entered and Tallulah made a rude gesture.

I left the tub, drying off with the towel I was offered and dressing in my soft, clean clothes. Instead of putting my boots back on, I slipped into a softer pair of leather slippers. I helped Evey pull her shift and dress over her head and lace up her boots.

"Don't forgot to come to the feast tonight." Tallulah called after me. "It's in our honor."

"I won't." I turned to Evey. "You could probably come to it too. You kept Baed Cormac alive in the safe room."

She shook her head shyly. "I'd rather not."

I shrugged and headed towards the infirmary. I stopped a junior healer. "Is Healer Flanna about?"

"I'll get her." The young healer looked us up and down, subconsciously checking for injuries and left to find the head healer.

"Who have you got for me?" Healer Flanna asked, drying her hands on her apron.

"This is Evey. She was a healer back at the caves and in an Etterite prison camp. She's got some experience. Could she be a healer here, too?"

"Evey?" Healer Flanna narrowed her eyebrows. "You've done a lot of healing?"

"When the Etterites attacked the caves, there was a lot of work to do." Evey said. "And in the camp, everyone got sick at one time or another."

Healer Flanna nodded. "If you need a place to stay, we've got a room for the healers' apprentices. Cecile can show you were it is. Rest for today, then report for work in the morning."

Cecile, the young girl who'd fetched Healer Flanna, smiled at Evey and grabbed her hand to show her where the room was.

"Mage Adda, I suggest you get some rest." Healer Flanna raised her eyebrows. "You're swaying on your feet."

I hadn't noticed. "Alright."

"Can you make it back to your room?" Healer Flanna asked.

"'Course." I began to leave. "Thanks for taking Evey."

* * *

I hadn't seen that much food in a long time. It was all colors. Yellow potatoes and reddish-brown meat, vibrant orange, yellow, and green vegetables, soft golden rolls, and deep red wine.

"You decided to show up." Faolan teased, moving his chair so I could move past.

"I fell asleep." I sat between him and Pirjo, across from Macarth and Tallulah. "Can I have the beans?"

Tallulah dumped a generous amount on my plate.

"Thanks." I served myself up some carrots and bread.

"Do you want wine?" Macarth offered the pitcher to me.

"I don't drink the stuff."

"Wise choice." Tallulah praised. "Have the water."

Brevan, red-faced, entered the banquet hall, walking past the rows of tables filled with people who gave her no notice. She sat at the head table with us, next to Faolan. "I just woke up."

"You and me both." I smiled at her.

"I wasn't going to come." Pirjo laughed. "But my mother took my little boy from me and pushed me out the door. She said that if I didn't show up to my own feast, I'd be ruder than she'd raised me."

"Cause we're all _so _very worried about being rude." I leaned back in my chair, searching the table for Shainin.

"He's next to the General and the Baed." Tallulah informed me, guessing who I was looking for.

"Oh." I returned my attention to my food.

"There is going to be music and dancing later." Faolan said. "My nephew's going to be playing the flute."

"He got all the talent?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Ouch," Faolan winced. "You're grumpy."

"Sorry." I apologized. "I slept too long."

"Slept too long." Tallulah mimicked.

I made a face at her, and noticed that Faolan and Brevan were holding hands under the table.

Shainin stood, coming up behind me and putting his hands on my shoulder. "Eilis wishes that you'd come and sat with us. Maire says the pudding is very good on her side of the table."

"Do they?" I remarked airily.

Shainin leaned close to my ear, using his low voice that put shivers down my spine. "And I wish you and me were somewhere else."

He straightened up, nodding to Macarth and Tallulah, and headed back to his seat.

I cleared my throat, hoping that my face wasn't red. "He just wanted to know...he just told me..."

"Hush." Pirjo shook her head. "You're just digging yourself in."

I hushed.

**I don't know what's happening with this. I know the ending, but I'm just so tired of writing this. I'm going to keep going with this, though, as long as I can. Hopefully, I'll finish it.**


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

The blaring horn call broke through my heavy sleep. I moaned reluctantly and tried to sit up, but Shainin's arm was wrapped too tightly around my waist.

"Don't go." He muttered.

"The horn..." I pushed his arm aside and began to pull my shirt on. "You have troops to command, Major."

He sighed and raised up. "I know. Toss me my pants?"

I obliged, then wriggled out of his bedroll. I pulled on my mud-soaked breeches, slipped on my mud-encrusted boots, and squeezed into my mud-splattered battle vest.

"Here, let me." Shainin gently grabbed my shoulders, turned me around to face him, and began to fasten up the laces. I let him.

"Please hurry." I shifted weight from one foot to another.

"I am." Shainin replied. "Besides, the general won't be looking for you anymore."

"But I'm still needed." I protested.

"Just as much as one of us." Shainin finished fastening and I helped him into his boots.

"No, still more." I argued. "If things go south, the general will need me no matter what plan he's following."

"General Eirnin is stickler for keeping with a strategy." Shainin corrected me. "And he's usually right. So we'll need to trust him, and you'll need to pretend you've no idea what a Gift is."

"I never said I wouldn't follow orders." I shrugged.

"Unless you can split yourself into a dozen pieces." He grinned, teasing me. "_That _would drive the Etterites insane."

I snorted. "I would love their tactics, if they weren't my enemy. Splitting forces and attacking simultaneously sounds like something the Riders back home would do. But I can't be everywhere at once." I handed him his helmet and sword and we exited his tent.

"Sleep well?" Brodie was waiting for us outside the tent. She cocked an eyebrow at us. "We won't be needed. They attacked the left side of camp and the skirmish is almost over, as fast as you dress."

Shainin cocked his head to listen to the sounds of the battle. "Are you sure?"

The horns blew on our side of camp and Brodie looked uncertain. "The messenger said...no, I'm not sure. Our soldiers are over there."

We hurried around the line of tents to meet up with the soldiers. They were listening to the horn calls with increasing nervousness.

Shainin mounted his horse as soon as the soldier handed him the reins. "Prepare yourselves for battle."

"Here." Daimhen handed me a shield. "Ula said."

I turned to see Ula nodding at me. I put the shield on my arm. "I've never really used one of these before."

"Ula thinks you should." Daimhen patted my shoulder. "Fortune be with you."

"And you." I called after her.

"Adda, I want you with Ula's division." Shainin ordered me.

"Yessir." I replied. I strode quickly to Ula. "I'm with you."

"Alright." Ula inspected the shield on my arm, making sure I'd strapped it on correctly. "A shield is primarily for defense, but you can always use it on the offensive. Remember that."

"March out!" Shainin's voice rose above the clamor and we began to march rapidly out of camp.

"I've a bad feeling about this one." Ula muttered quietly.

A knot twisted in my stomach.

"Charge!" Shainin yelled, before we were even clear of the tents. We began to run, boots churning up the mud as we struggled to find footing.

As we rounded the hill, we saw at least three hundred soldiers waiting for us. A volley of arrows came raining down us. The woman beside me fell to the ground, an arrow piercing her chest.

"Fast charge!" Shainin shouted frantically.

My fingers itched and I urged to destroy the soldiers before they destroyed us. I began to slow down, and began to raise my hand.

"No!" Ula hit my arm, hard. "You've got your orders!"

I clenched my jaw and nodded. I sped up again.

We were at the enemy before they could release a forth volley. The rushing in my ears gave way to the steady pumping of blood.

I ducked a spear that swung towards my head and reached out with my sword with a quick twist and flick that Alanna had once made me practice for hours. I gutted the young soldier who had attempted to slice me.

An arrow bounced off a helmet and scraped up against my battle vest. I tried to pull it loose, but it was wedged in tight between the metal scales, so I snapped the end off.

I blocked a sword strike and attacked fiercely. My opponent almost disarmed me, but she stumbled and I took advantage of her momentary weakness. After I ran her through, I tightened my grip on my sword.

One of our foot soldiers was being outmaneuvered by a taller, broader Etterite with a spiked mace. I went to his aid, distracting the Etterite while my soldier swung his sword at the man's thick neck.

"There's a lot of them." Ula shouted. "Maybe too many."

I turned to face another enemy, blocking and striking, blocking and striking. "We'll get them."

"We're outnumbered." Ula shook her head. "Three to one, maybe."

"I could fix that." I yelled back, raising my shield. "I could-"

"You'll follow orders." Ula growled at me. "Stop pressing the issue."

I frowned.

"And lift your shield higher!" She chastised. "You'll get your shoulder wrenched if you don't."

"You never taught me how to use one." I shot back.

"Stop whining and concentrate!" Ula dismissively turned her back on me.

I grinned and shook my sweaty hair from my eyes.

I clumsily raised my shield to block a big broadsword, then gasped as the shock ran through my arm. I attempted to shake the shield off my trembling arm, then gave up. I let my arm hang down, and raised my sword with the other.

"You'll have to block better than that." The swordsman jeered at me.

"I'm waiting." I shrugged.

"Guard!" The swordsman ordered, slashing at me. I blocked each strike and he raised his eyebrows appreciatively. "Good. And this?"

"You're not as good as you think you are." I commented, blocking him and adding a couple strikes of my own. "Or you'd have had me by now."

He threw back his head and laughed. "You think?" He attacked with such a ferocity that I feared for my life. I barely had time to block before he was striking again. Terror rose in me and made me fight harder.

He slowed his attack, panting slightly. "See? A good amount of fear is well enough. Keeps you thinking on your feet. Don't get lazy."

I shook my head, unable to speak.

"Ready?" The swordsman whipped his sword around at my head.

I ducked, falling into a crouch and swinging my leg at feet. He danced away, laughing, and swung his blade towards my feet. I rolled away and up, raising my sword in preparation.

"Good." He praised, lowering his defense slightly. "Who was your teacher?"

"I had a couple." I shrugged. "You're one of them." I mirrored one of his attacks, slashing and chopping in the exact pattern as he had previously.

"Excellent." The swordsman seemed to beam. "What would it take for me to convince you to come with us? We'd train you better than your Lorcanites ever could."

"Why do I have to come with you?" I raised my eyebrows, methodically engaging in the rhythmic sword play. "Come with us."

He laughed. "It's such a pity that I have to kill you."

I slipped in between his defense and slit his throat. "Yah."

He slumped to the ground, choking as blood spurted from his neck. His eyes were wide with surprise and respect as they met mine.

"I'm sorry." I lowered my sword.

He reached for his dagger and I instantly raised my sword. He pulled the dagger, sheath and all, off his sword belt and threw it towards me as he keeled over.

I picked it off the ground, clipping it towards my sword belt and throwing myself into the battle.

* * *

"What have you got there?" Ula slowly wandered to me, sitting beside me on the log.

"Something one of 'em gave me before they died." I rolled the dagger over in my hands.

"It's a good blade." Ula assessed.

I nodded. The silver blade was firm, but slightly wavy. There were a few nicks on the blackened hilt, but none on the shimmery blade. The hand guard was tilted up slightly and twisted for decoration.

"Daimhen's dead." Ula lowered her head.

"I know." I sheathed the dagger and fitted it snug on my belt. "How's your arm?"

Ula grunted, absentmindedly rubbing the bandage that ran from her shoulder to her wrist.

"Where's she at?" I asked, quietly.

"Still in the healer's tent." Ula fidgeted with the ties on her bandage. "They tried to save her, but..."

"I'm going to see her." I stood up, walking towards the healer's tent.

She was still on the cot, her sword casually flung on the ground beside her. I sadly reached out and brushed her pale, icy hand.

"I've got friends on the other side that might be able to look after you." I whispered. "Then again, so do you. I'm sorry you had to die."

"Excuse me?" A soldier, younger than Daimhen, timidly approached me. Her cheeks were pale and her eyes were rimmed with red. "Do you mind if I sit? She's my cousin."

"Sit." I began to stand, almost tripping over Daimhen's sword. I reached down and picked it up. "Give this to her ma?"

The soldier nodded and clutched the sword. "She was supposed to have a family, you know? We were supposed to marry brothers and raise our children in little cottages."

"I'm sorry." I jammed the point of my sword belt buckle into my palm to keep from crying.

"Yah." She tenderly held Daimhen's stiff hand. "Me too."

"I'm going to go." I stepped back and left the healer's tent.

"Adda," Shainin was waiting outside for me. He paled slightly when he saw the arrow in my battle vest. "Are you alright?"

"It's just stuck." I began to tug at it.

He pulled at the arrow until it fell out of my vest. "You need to wash up. You've blood all over your face."

"I don't think it's mine." I reached up.

"No, you've got a nosebleed."

"Oh." I headed for a filthy water trough that others were using to wash themselves. I splashed the water on my face, scrubbing at it.

"Calm down." Shainin was there in an instant, bringing my hands away from my face. "I'll take care of it."

"She was always really nice to me, you know?" I shook my head. "She shouldn't have died."

"I know." Shainin pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and dipped it in the brownish water.

"And there was this Etterite, we were talking." I was so confused. "We were fighting, but talking, and we shouldn't have been fighting. He could've been my teacher, or we could've been friends."

Shainin didn't say anything, just gently scrubbed at my face.

"How do I know which side I should be fighting on?" I frowned. "I just happened to join with the Lorcanites. It just happened."

Shainin pulled me away from the water trough, from the other soldiers. "Maybe our side isn't in the right. But it's _our _side."

"I don't want to fight anymore." I gritted my teeth. "Master Salmalín knew it was going to turn me, he knew something would go wrong with me if I didn't stop hurting people."

Shainin pulled me closer to him. "We're close, Adda. You won't have to fight anymore."

"I don't want to." I buried my face in his chest. "I know I'm going to go bad if I keep fighting."

"You could never turn bad." Shainin reassured me.

"You don't know, Shainin, you don't."

"It'll be alright." Shainin promised me. "You'll be fine."

He didn't know._

* * *

"Sharpen up, boy!" Rolph grabbed Karel's ax off the ground and thrust it back into his hands._

_"I don't wanna work for 'em no more!" He was just a little boy back then, with sandy hair that badly needed a trim._

_"Look at Adda, look how hard she's working." Rolph encouraged little Karel. "You can't let her beat you, now can you?"_

_"I miss me ma." Karel whimpered, his face twisting up with pain. "I wanna go home!"_

_I couldn't remember my home, if I'd ever had one. All I remembered was pain in my head, a sack over my head, and then the fief. I strained to lift the ax over my shoulder and grimaced as the torn blisters on my hands throbbed._

_Karel threw his ax down again and began to howl._

_I threw mine down as well and grabbed his shoulders. "Don't be such a baby! They're just askin' you to chop up some logs, so do it without howling like a monkey!"_

_"Shut up!" Karel stomped his feet. "I want me ma!"_

_"Them overseers are gonna slice open your back!" I forced his ax back into his hands. "They will, I swear it!"_

_Karel gulped back some of his tears. "Why won't they let me go?"_

_"It ain't of any importance." I retrieved my own ax. "I'll help you a bit, if you promise not to scream no more."_

_"Promise." Karel took a shuddering breath and resumed work._

_"I'll look after you." I promised him. "I'll make sure that nobody hurts you. You just got to do what I say."_

_"Alright." Karel wiped his tears off on his ragged sleeve. "What if someone tries to beat me?"_

_"I'll kill 'em." I shrugged._

_"You're too small." He pointed out._

_I lifted the ax up and brought it down with all my might. The log split clean in two. "That doesn't matter much. I'll kill 'em."_

_"Have you killed someone before?" Rolph was still within hearing range._

_I frowned. "I don't know."_

My eyes opened slowly. It hadn't been a nightmare, not really. It wasn't a dream either, not like the memories that I couldn't remember until I dreamed them. I really was just remembering.

Shainin was snoring beside me, fully clothed. I was too warm and his bedroll was twisted around my legs. I carefully slipped out and lay down on the floor of the tent.

**I know I shouldn't be complaining, since my updates have been rather inconsistant, but I used to get twenty or so reviews for every chapter and now I don't. Are people just not reading anymore? Is it getting boring? I would like to know if you don't like it anymore, so that I have the option of adjusting the story.**

**But you don't have to go crazy over reviewing this chapter, I'd rather you review more on the next chapter, which hopefully will be finished by the end of this week. **

**Thanks for reading.  
**


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

I fastened my battle vest as I left the female captains' tent. Yawning, I adjusted my sword belt and stretched out my arms.

"Adda, wait." Shainin stood quickly and caught my arm. "Talk to me."

"I've got to-"

"I know, Adda." Shainin walked beside me to keep up. "You'd be the busiest soldier in the army, if you weren't just trying to avoid me."

"I'm not avoiding." I argued.

"You moved out of my tent." Shainin pointed out. "You didn't tell me why."

"I didn't want to sleep with you anymore."

"Which would be alright," Shainin paused. "Well, _liveable,_ anyway, but you don't talk to me anymore."

"I didn't want to talk to you anymore."

"Which is unbearable." Shainin stopped me, held me in place. "You don't talk to Brodie anymore either, or Ula. You don't talk to anyone. You're avoiding. You've been avoiding for weeks."

"I'm not avoiding." I shook my head, a lump in my throat. I swallowed it. "I've had things to do."

"Adda," Shainin looked down at me pleadingly. "Don't lie to me. Please, be honest."

"I am being honest." I lied, pulling away. "I'm a soldier, I've got work-"

"Adda!" Shainin's voice rose and he reached for me again.

"Listen." I put my hand on his chest to hold him back. "We're fighting a war, or have you forgotten? I can't deal with this right now."

"When are you going to deal with it?" Shainin shouted to my back, rhetorically, I think. "C'mon, Adda, tell me when!"

I walked away.

* * *

The charge was glorious. I was riding with the calvary, riding on my beautiful white horse, with her powerful muscles straining under my legs. Dust was thick in the air and clouded out the bright sun. It was hard to breathe, with the air rushing past me, but I could see the line of Etterite soldiers coming and closer. I raised my sword high over my head and gave a loud whoop.

And suddenly, I was whipped through the air and blackness consumed me.

_"Can't you run away?" Adele swung her feet over the edge of the dock, gripping tight to the planks._

_"And leave you to her?" Bertie shook his head resolutely. Fresh bruises lined his face. _

_"You can take all of us wit' you." Adele suggested eagerly. "Or maybe Rufus can rent a place and we can all live there. Or maybe-"_

_"Shut up, with your maybes." He glared. "They don't do no good."_

_"Maybe we can do away with her." Adele gazed steadily at her older brother._

_Bertie's temper flared. "I told you to let that alone!"_

_"She ain't gonna stop!" Adele swung her feet faster. "She just ain't gonna stop on her own, and this is the best way!"_

_"And it's also a crime, Adele, and you're too young to be talkin' as such!" Bertie stood, his bare feet hitting the dock with a dull thump._

_"I'm gonna do it, Bertie." Adele promised. "For you, I'm gonna do it." _

_"It won't be for me." Bertie turned as if to go, then changed his mind and pushed Adele off the edge of the dock._

I couldn't breathe. A gigantic weight was pressing down on my chest, preventing me from drawing a full breath. I struggled to take in air.

I couldn't move. My legs felt dead and one of my arms was twisted painfully under my back. It felt like a thousand needles were being driven into my shoulder. My head pounded and light danced before my closed eyelids.

I slipped under again.

_"C'mon, Kane," Adele tugged at his hand._

_"Don't wanna go!" Kane wailed. He dug his heels into the ground and tried to pull away from his older sister._

_"You hafta!" Adele tried to wrestle him. "Mithros boy, move it!"_

_"Adele!" Gwen scolded, swooping from the door of the bakery. "Let him alone!"_

_"Be glad to." Adele pushed Kane into Gwen's arms and scowled bitterly. "He doesn't like his hair."_

_"Or lack of." Gwen ran her fingers over the little boy's shorn scalp._

_"He had lice." Adele shrugged. "We all do, but we figured that if he had lice, he wouldn't be allowed to sit in the bakery no more. Bertie did it."_

_"I think Rufus would've done a better job." Gwen inspected Kane's head, gazing at the small scratches. _

_Adele shrugged again. _

_"Why didn't you wait for him?" Gwen questioned, taking Kane's hand and squeezing it._

_"Him and Arnie were at the docks. They always are." Adele said, frowning angrily. "We just did it ourselves."_

_The young woman looked concerned. "Are things alright at home? Adele?"_

_"Yah." Adele looked up at Gwen impassively. "They are. Gotta go."_

_Adele walked unconcernedly down the street, trying to whistle. _

I groaned, trying to wriggle free from whatever was holding me down. I reached down with my free hand and tried to feel it. I brought back a few white hairs that I knew were Xalia's.

"Come..." My voice cracked and failed. I tried to generate some spit in my mouth, enough spit to talk, but I couldn't. I tried to push my horse off me, but she was unresponsive.

I could hear the battle raging around me, but the helmet had slipped over my eyes and I couldn't see a thing. The clashing of swords, the shouts and the screams were muffled and I couldn't tell what was going on.

The sun beat down mercilessly down on me.

I gritted my teeth angrily. It wasn't fair. I hadn't even wanted to be here. It was Nadia's fault, the goddess who brought me into her mess and didn't pay me no attention after that. She was the one who let me get kidnapped, the one who let my friends die during an escape that I helped to plan, and the one who made me fall off a ship in the middle of a storm.

She sent the first dream-memory to me, and that started the rest of them coming, and I didn't even want them in the first place. I didn't care to remember.

If I died, I was going to haunt the goddess, if that was possible. She'd pay, for sure.

_"Sit right there!" Adele's mother, a fearsome but pretty woman, pushed the girl into one of the rickety kitchen chairs._

_"I wanna go." Adele looked about warily._

_"You'll sit!" Mistress Archer raised her hand as if to strike the girl, then lowered it._

_Adele had flinched. Once she realized she wasn't going to get smacked, she stuck out her lower lip. "I didn't mean to take it, I swear."_

_"Don't lie, girl." Mistress Archer cuffed her daughter. "I didn't raise you to lie."_

_"You didn't raise me!" Adele stood quickly, knocking over her chair. "Rufus and Arnie raised me, and Bertie too!" _

_Mistress Archer took a step back, a hurt expression on her face._

_"You shouldn't let her give you that lip." A hefty man didn't even look up from his meal as he spoke. He slurped his soup, spooning up the watery broth. "She'll grow up the wrong way. You want me to teach her for you?"_

_Mistress Archer hesitated._

_"Here." The man stood up, scooting back his chair and loosening his belt. Adele wilted. "Let me."_

_Mistress Archer took a step back, allowing the man to grab Adele and put her over his knee._

_"Let me go!" Adele shouted, pounding at him with her fists. "Leave me alone! Ow! Ow, let me alone!"_

_"I'll kill you!" Bertie, fists raised, raced into the house and flung himself at the man. "I'll kill you!"_

_The man released Adele and furiously pulled Bertie off him. He threw him to the ground, kicking the boy in the ribs._

_"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" Adele shrieked, eyes wide with horror. She covered her eyes and began to back away._

"I don't want this." I muttered, lips cracked and bleeding. I didn't know how long I'd been lying there. I couldn't hear the noise of battle anymore.

I couldn't take my helmet off. The sun made the metal even hotter, till I thought my head would explode. I had tried to remove it, but it was somehow poking into my scalp and it just hurt too bad to tug at it.

"I need a healer over here!" I heard someone call out. Others took up the cry, moaning and calling for aid.

I had never lain on a battlefield. I'd always been up and fighting. When the battle was over, I'd clear the field or help the healers. I'd never lain on the battlefield after the battle was over.

I didn't like it much.

"Shainin." I whispered, my throat seizing up. I shouldn't have been so harsh with him. "Shainin, please."

And then darkness again, but no dreams.

* * *

"Lift it off of her."

"Be careful, we don't know how she's hurt."

"Adda, can you hear me?"

"Watch it!"

I opened my eyes and saw starlight. It was so beautiful, I felt like crying.

"Your horse is dead, Adda." Brodie held her canteen to my lips, slowly pouring the liquid down my throat. "I'm sorry."

"She's got a head wound." A healer inspected my injuries, running delicate fingers over my scalp. It still hurt. "I don't think it's bad. We're going to move you now."

"Took you long enough." I forced out, coughing up some water.

"We assumed you'd have gotten farther." Brodie sounded amused. "Did you even finish the charge? And why'd you have to hide yourself under a horse?"

I tried to retort, but only a strangled sound emerged.

"Someone needs to tell Major Shainin." Brodie helped the healers to slide me onto a field stretcher. I whimpered in pain. "He's fair frantic."

"I'll get him." Someone answered.

"Now, lift." I was raised into the air. They tried to be careful, but they still jolted me a bit.

"More water." I begged.

"Here," Brodie trickled more water into my mouth. "That better? How's the pain?"

"Not bad." I blinked slowly. "Shainin?"

"He's coming." Brodie squeezed my good hand softly. "He'll be here."

"We're almost there." The healer reassured me.

Pain shot through my body again and I closed my eyes.

"Stay with us, Adda."

"Here, lift her onto the cot."

I cried out when my hurt arm fell and hit the cot.

"Be careful with her!" A healer snapped.

They settled me onto the cot and I lay my head down with a small sigh of relief.

"We'll have to get her battle vest off." The healer began to untie the straps. "Her ribs are probably cracked."

"Her knee is in bad shape." The healer felt around the knee. "Maybe smashed."

"We'd do best to put her under." A healer gently tugged at my chin. "Open up."

I obeyed, and a handful of bitter herbs was forced into my mouth. I gagged.

"Swallow." The healer helped me drink from the canteen and I was able to swallow the herbs.

"I keep dreaming about my family-" I sleepily told Brodie.

"Do you miss them?" Brodie stroked my hair, careful to avoid the cut on my head.

"Not much." I blinked slowly. "Me ma, I think she's gonna kill me brother. I don't wanna see it, but I think I did. I think I saw it and I can't remember, not really." My voice trailed off and I fell asleep.

* * *

I opened my eyes and saw Shainin, sitting on a stool with his head resting on his hands. He looked like he was sleeping, but I couldn't see his face.

I was bandaged head to toe, it seemed. My left leg was in a tight splint and I still couldn't move it. My ribs were bound, but I could breathe a lot better. I suppose not having a horse on my chest was probably responsible for the improvement.

Poor Xalia.

I reached up with a bandaged hand and felt my face. My cheeks felt swollen and the skin around my eyes was tender.

"You look awful, if you're wondering." Shainin slowly lifted his head exhaustedly.

"I bet." I reached for the canteen set beside the cot.

"Let me help you." Shainin hurried to open the canteen. He handed it to me, making sure I had a firm grip before he let go.

I gulped down the water, letting it cool my throat.

Shainin kept staring at me.

I tried to sit up. Shainin looked like he was going to stop me, but he hesitated and sat back on his stool.

"What are you doing?" A healer swooped down on me like a bat from the underworld.

I flinched visibly. "Nothing. I just thought-"

"Think again." The healer pushed me back onto the cot, making sure I laid my head down carefully. "Do you know the extent of your injuries?"

"I don't." I looked over at Shainin, who was pale as a ghost.

"Your knee is badly crushed." The healer explained. "I did my best with the bindings and the splint, but I can only do so much."

I waited for her to finish, knowing that it wouldn't be good.

"You need rest." The healer tried to smile. "With rest, your knee may heal enough for you to walk again."

"Rest?" My voice cracked. "I have to fight. I can't rest."

"You don't have a choice, you need-"

"You don't understand!" I sat up abruptly. "I need to walk!"

"Please, lie back down." The healer held me in place. "If you try to stand, you'll only cause more damage to the knee."

"This is dung!" I clenched my fists with frustration. "It's dung."

"Calm down." The healer looked up as someone called for her. She looked at Shainin. "Major, can you take care of her? Keep her calm, don't let her off of this cot. And give her this."

Shainin looked as if he hadn't even heard her, then he nodded and took the herbs from the healer. "I can."

"Alright." The healer looked at me briefly, then left to care for another soldier.

I slumped back on the cot, too weak to keep arguing.

"You'll heal." Shainin reassured me. "You'll walk again."

"Please don't." I covered my face with my hands, trying to hide how shaken I was. "Can you not say anything?"

Shainin responded by moving his stool closer, close enough that he could gently wrap his arms around me.

"I won't be a cripple." I frowned determinedly. "I won't let it happen."

"I know." Shainin brushed back my hair, stroking it.

"It isn't fair! I don't want-" I stopped mid-sentence and tried to contain myself, to keep my breathing even.

"Shhh." Shainin softly kissed my bruised forehead. "Open your mouth."

I thought about refusing, then sighed and obediently opened up. He slipped the herbs into my mouth and I swallowed, not willing to spend the effort to make a face. And I was glad when I fell asleep, when everything went dark again.

**Thanks for all the reviews. I know I need to get the story back on track again, and I'm working on it. **

**L.A.H.H requested a list of names and descriptions to remind you guys who was who, since the story has gotten quite complicated. As requested:**

Baed Cormac – sort of the Lorcanite king, tall, broad redhead

Lauchlan – Baed Cormac's oldest son who died in battle, leaving a pregnant Eilis behind

Malachi – Baed Cormac's second oldest son, smart and responsible

Maire – Baed Cormac's daughter, young but brave

Eilis – Lauchlan's widow, friendly and loyal

Gannon – Baed Cormac's grandson and heir, still an infant

Healer Flanna - head healer at Lake Lorcan

Sorcha – a peasant girl who helped Adda, Eilis, Malachi, and Maire escape to Lake Lorcan

Sorcha's gang – Idy, Nollaig, Cara, Nora, and Alroy

Carrig – Descendant of a god, has wild magic, head of the stables, horse trainer

General Eirnin – leader over the Lorcanite army

Ula – a captain in Shainin's division, old, talented swordswoman

Daimhen – another captain in Shainin's division, died in battle

Shainin - a major in the army, he is Adda's "man", good leader and excellent soldier

Brodie - a captain in Shainin's division, first to befriend Adda, uses a massive broadsword

Macarth - one of the men in the group who went to rescue Baed Cormac

Brevan Pearse - young and a somewhat inexperienced soldier, but she proved herself on the rescue mission

Tallulah Gadhra -a very capable soldier, knows how to survive in extreme cold, she was on the rescue mission

Pirjo Magoad - lost some of her fingers to frostbite, has a positive attitude

Faolan - a young soldier with great talent as a scout, is sweet on Brevan

**This is a somewhat incomplete list. I didn't mention the ones who've died already, since chances are they won't be popping up again. Then again, this is MY story, and the dead do seem to come knocking every once in a while. **

Karel **- **Was a little brother to Adda on the fief. He was always rebellious and mischievous. He was the one who convinced Adda to take part in the escape plan, which went bad and inevitably led to his death. His hands were cut off and he was hanged with the rest of the slaves who tried to escape. Adda's dreams are haunted by the memory of him hanging handless and coming for her, to pay her back for letting him die.


	41. Chapter 41

**I came back from the "dead" at such a symbolic time. Whatever, I'm sorry but I'm back now.**

**And I skipped three years in the future. Looking back at what I had done, I felt that the story was taking a direction that I couldn't work with anymore, so I avoided. It's good, though, I think, so tell me what YOU think.**

**Chapter 41**

I stood on the wooden deck, leaning heavily on my wooden cane. The salt spray blew across my face and I licked my chapped lips.

"Smell that?" An old sailor remarked. "That's land."

"We'll be there by nightfall then?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yes, Mage, if all goes well." The sailor tied a quick knot to secure a rope.

"Ship!" A sailor in the mainmast came scurrying down. "Tortallan, I'm guessing."

The captain of the _Risengurd _hurried up onto the top deck. "Are you certain?"

"Fairly." The sailor nodded towards me. "A flag like what the mage described."

The captain nodded. "An escort, I'm assuming. Just one ship?"

"One, cap'n." The sailor looked up at the mast.

"Alright." The captain scratched his grizzled head, turning towards me. "Should I call to arms?"

I shrugged. "Do what you'd like. I see no reason for them to attack, but I don't know what they'll do."

The captain frowned. "I'll call it, then."

"I'll go below until you need me." I limped my way to the ladder, gripping my cane tightly in my fist as I maneuvered myself down into the hold.

The narrow passageway to my small room was blocked by a dozen ambassadors or so. I tried to squeeze by, and the ambassadors respectfully stepped aside when they saw me coming.

"Adda." Shainin gently grabbed my arm. "News from above?"

"We'll be there by the end of the day." I told him. "And the Tortallans sent an escort ship."

"Are any of your friends on it? How large is it? Could you see land yet?" Malachi eagerly peppered me with questions. He was almost as tall as his father and his boyish face had grown into the smooth, mature face of a young man.

"I don't know, and I couldn't see, and I didn't look." I raised an eyebrow at Malachi. "You'll have to go see for yourself."

He nodded excitedly and hurried towards the ladder.

"Do you think any of your friends will be on it?" Shainin asked. "Perhaps your teacher?"

"Possibly." I shrugged. "More likely, they'll be waiting on dry land."

Shainin saw me wince as I shifted my weight and he reached out to steady me.

"I'm alright, really." I leaned on my cane. "It's just the damp."

Shainin put his hand under my arm to support me. "Will they be able to fix it with their magic?"

"I don't know." I tried to make it sound as if I didn't care so much. "I don't know much about healing."

"No matter what they can do-"

"I know, I know," I rolled my eyes at him. "You'll love me all the same."

Shainin touched the smile that had appeared on my lips. "I love it when you smile. You used to smile all the time."

A lump came to my throat and my smile faded. "That was a long time ago."

"Not so long ago." Shainin corrected. "Three years isn't a lifetime."

"Seems so." I looked down, away from his searching eyes.

"Smile for me again, please Adda." Shainin raised my chin with his fingers, catching my eyes with his.

"Smile for a kiss." I bargained.

Shainin raised his eyes dramatically. "What have we come to?" He leaned down and kissed me hard, leaving me breathless. "My smile?"

I grinned. "Kiss me again?"

"We don't have time." Shainin kissed my forehead. "You said it would take hours for your to set up your magical defenses."

"It will." I linked my arms around his neck. "Kiss me."

Shainin attempted to disentangle himself from me. "You need plenty of time to set them up. You should start as soon as possible."

I sighed and pulled away from him. "Will I see you later?"

"I'll come find you when you're needed." Shainin promised. "Try and get some rest, if you can."

I nodded, and moved into my room. It was tiny, hardly more than a closet, but I was lucky to get my own room.

I sat on the floor, next to my trunk and next to my bunk, and began to concentrate on the task at hand. Magical shields were difficult and I'd never gotten much practice with them, so I wasn't quite sure how to go about it. I sighed, knowing it would be a long day.

* * *

"Adda."

Shainin caught my arm before I could reach for my dagger. "It's time to go."

"Oh." I blinked sleep from my eyes, rubbing them.

"Did you finish?" Shainin pulled me to my feet.

I nodded, stretching out my arms. "Nobody, not even the gods, will be able to see into my head."

Shainin covered my mouth. "You forget, the gods can hear you in this land."

"I don't really care what the goddess Nadia thinks." I shrugged. "Pull out my trunk for me, will you?"

Shainin pulled it out and opened it for me. "Do you want to change?"

"The blue breeches and the silver shirt, please. They're on top." I pointed.

Shainin handed them to me, holding my arm to keep me from losing my balance as I shed my dirty, salt-encrusted clothes and dressed myself in the tailored, elegant garments.

"The boots, too."

Shainin helped me tug the shiny, black boots on. He straightened up and tucked my short hair behind my ears. "There. You look very nice. You should put your battle vest on."

I nodded. "Help me with it please?"

"Here." Shainin settled the heavy vest over my shoulders. The dark leather fit snugly and the silver chain mail clinked together softly. "Is that too heavy?"

"No, it's fine." I smoothed my vest down, feeling safe inside the protection. "Let's go."

"Your cane?" Shainin offered it to me.

I shook my head. "I don't want them to see me with it."

"You're going to overdo it." He warned me. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"I'll be fine." I brushed him off. "Come on, let's go."

He followed behind me, shaking his head.

Malachi was waiting at the bottom of the ladder. He held a package wrapped in oilskin, and stood when he saw me. "Eilis made this for you."

I took the package, leaning against the wall to take weight off of my leg, and opened it. A dark blue cloak slid from the wrapping. The shimmery embroidery would have taken Eilis weeks to complete, if not more.

"Eilis said you can thank her later." Malachi grinned, beginning to ascend the ladder.

"I will." I slid into the cloak and fastened it. "It's beautiful."

"Up you go." Shainin held my waist, guiding me up the ladder.

I grimaced as I climbed up the ladder.

"You alright?" Shainin called up to me.

I didn't answer him, just sped up a bit.

I hoisted myself onto the deck, joining the rest of the ambassadors who had already congregated. We were just sailing into the harbor, our escort following along behind us.

"Put your hood on." The head ambassador, Raes Sioblach, advised me. "I'd rather not they know all our assets before we know if they're amicable or not."

"They know Adda." Shainin reminded the man.

"He's right, Shainin." I pulled the hood over my head, hiding most of my face and leaving the rest shadowed. "Just because they're friends with me doesn't mean they'll be friends with Lorcan."

"Smart girl." Raes Sioblach nodded. He gestured to a sailor, who handed me a spyglass. "Tell us who you see."

I obediently looked through the spyglass, searching the docks. My throat tightened up. "That's the Lioness's flag. She's the King's Champion, or she was when I left. That man there, I think he's my teacher. Numair Salmalín. He's a more powerful mage than I am."

"The only mage?" Raes Sioblach questioned.

"The Lioness too." I answered. "I don't know about the others. I could probe, but I don't want to risk alerting Master Salmalín. He would know that someone on our ship was using magic."

"Even with your defenses?" Shainin took the spyglass from me and looked through it.

"If I triggered one of his magical defenses, he would know." I explained. "Just like if he triggered one of mine, I would know. He's probably got the whole dock protected, he's that good."

A voice flowed in from over the harbor waters. "Welcome to Tortall. If you please, wait on your ship until we send boats to bring you to the dock."

It took me a minute to realize that most of my companions couldn't understand Common. "They're sending boats to bring us to the dock, so that we can't pull anything."

Raes Sioblach looked concerned. "Will they try anything?"

"I don't think so." I watched the approaching boats carefully. "I'll be ready."

Our sailors secured the small boats to the side of our ship and tossed down rope ladders. The soldiers looked stoic and ambassadors looked dubious.

One of the ambassadors made a face. "Maybe they hope to humiliate us by dumping us in the harbor."

"Maybe they intend to drown us in the harbor." Another scoffed, hesitant to advance down the ladder.

The eldest ambassador, an ancient man likely over two hundred years old, scowled at his fellows. "Young scumbags, I'll show you when to complain." He haltingly made his way to the ladder, then carefully slid over the side. With the shaking hands of an old man, he made his way down the ladder.

"That's it then. " Raes Sioblach, chagrined, waved on the other ambassadors. "If he can do it, so will you."

The ambassadors sheepishly made their way towards the ladder.

When it was my turn, I gripped the rope with sweaty palms and began to descend. My knee shook, but held, and I made it to the bottom. I sat on a bench next to Shainin.

"You want me to rub it?" Shainin asked quietly, watching my leg tremble.

"It's alright." My lips were tight.

"You should have brought your cane." Shainin sighed.

"It'll be fine in a moment." I shot back. "I didn't bring my cane because I didn't want it. And the cane wouldn't have helped me on the ladder."

Shainin leaned back against the side of the boat, dipping his hand in the water.

"Splash me and I'll blast you." I warned.

Shainin simply laughed and shook his head. "You're in a mood. I thought you'd be happier."

I closed my eyes and rested my head in my hands, letting the gentle rock of the boat soothe me. The rocking made me dizzy, almost, and I felt like I was floating. The solid clunk of the boat against the dock woke me from my daze.

"We wish to formally greet you to Tortall." I didn't recognize the voice, but I raised my head.

Shainin pulled me to my feet and boosted me up to the dock effortlessly. I stood silently, maybe twenty feet away from Master Salmalín and the Lioness.

Raes Sioblach, one of those I had taught the Common language to, stepped forward and bowed deeply. "Thank you for your hospitality. We have much we wish to discuss with you and we hope that we will be able to carry out these discussions with friendliness on both sides."

I nodded my approval to his words. He had been a good pupil and apart from a few botched pronunciations, he had made himself clear.

"We wish the same." The Tortallan ambassador bowed in return. "In a few days time, our discussions can commence. For now, I suggest you rest from your long voyage."

Raes Sioblach frowned as he figured out what the ambassador had said. "That would be excellent, thank you."

I felt a tickling sensation in the corner of my brain and frowned. I wrinkled my nose, casually fiddling with my dagger.

Shainin noticed my shiftiness. "Are you alright?"

"Fine." I whispered quietly, carefully searching the faces of the Tortallans. I smirked satisfactorily when I saw Master Salmalín frown confusedly and nudge the Lioness. If it had been him, he hadn't been able to squeeze through my shields.

"As if you needed your ego stroked." Shainin sounded amused.

I elbowed him.

"Behave yourself." Shainin spoke straight-faced.

At least two ambassadors shot us warning looks.

I focused in on what the Tortallan ambassador was saying. "-provide coaches and horses for those in your party to ride. We will take you to lodgings in Port Legann, then we will talk about further arrangements. Is that agreeable with you?"

Raes Sioblach bowed politely. "One moment please." He walked back to where the soldiers and I were standing and raised his eyebrows.

"He'll take us to Port Legann, where we'll stay until they decide what to do with us." I explained in Rannson. "Either we'll be taken to Corus or the talks will take place here."

"Should I agree with him?" Raes Sioblach asked.

I nodded. "Everything seems on the level."

Raes Sioblach returned to the other ambassadors. "That will be agreeable, thank you."

"Please, follow us to the coaches." The Tortallan ambassador gestured to further down the dock, where a line of coaches and horses waited.

Raes Sioblach turned to us. "Follow them. They'll take us to our lodgings and we'll get to rest before the talks."

The soldiers and ambassadors looked relieved to finally understand what was going on.

"Soldiers will stay outside the coaches." Shainin instructed his soldiers. "Be on the watch."

"I'll ride with you." I decided.

Shainin reluctantly nodded. "We need your Gift out here."

I walked swiftly to Raes Sioblach and caught his attention. "When can I tell them that it's me?"

"Can I ask you to wait?" He asked. "Until we get the feel of the situation."

"_I _get the feel." I frowned, annoyed. "_I _know what I'm doing."

"This isn't just about you." Raes Sioblach reminded me. "And I'd prefer that you didn't cause a scene."

"I'm not causing a scene." I lowered my voice. "So then, how long will I have to wait? A day? A week? Until just before we leave?"

Shainin placed his hand on my shoulder. "Remember that you take orders from Raes Sioblach."

I opened my mouth to argue, but Shainin squeezed my shoulder gently. The words choked and a sort of snarling sound came out. Shainin chuckled and took the reins that a servant offered him. He began to help me mount up, but I stubbornly did it myself, although my knee creaked painfully and I looked ungraceful.

"Here you go." Shainin handed me the reins, patting the back of the saddle. He mounted his own horse.

I guided my horse to follow the coaches. Tortallan soldiers moved to cover our backs.

"Sioblach probably won't make you wait more than a die." Shainin reassured me.

I stared down at my hands, running the reins through my fingers. "They're all smart. I might not even be able to keep them off that long."

"Do your best." Shainin advised.

I hissed, clutching my head with a hand.

"What's wrong?" Shainin bent forward concernedly.

"It's him." I nodded towards Master Salmalín. "He tried to get in again."

"Can you do anything?" Shainin reached for my reins, to keep my attention on the problem.

I bristled, putting little mental spikes in the wall that Master Salmalín was trying to cross. I saw him wince and the pressure on my head lessened.

"He took the hint." I took my reins back from Shainin. "Thanks."

"Could he get in if he tried hard enough?" Shainin's brow furrowed.

"Sure." I shrugged. "Easily, even if I used my whole Gift to protect myself. He might reduce me to a quivering mess of flesh, but he'd get in."

"You don't think he will?" Shainin looked alarmed.

"I'd tell him who I was before I'd let that happen." I surveyed the rooftops and windows of the buildings that we passed.

"Archers, but their bows aren't strung." Shainin nodded towards the rooftops. "They weren't expecting trouble, but they're prepared."

"And our bows are strung." I looked behind me to see our soldiers marching in rows, bows at the ready and faces blank. "Does that send a bad message?"

"Only that we are in a strange country." Shainin answered unconcernedly. "Raes Sioblach would have told us if it was a problem. Do you know where they're taking us?"

I shook my head. "This is the first time I've ever been to Port Legann."

The coaches ahead of us lurched to a stop and we tugged on our horses' reins. I nudged my horse around the coach and saw our lodgings.

"This is it?" Shainin sounded surprised.

"I'm fair impressed." I drawled.

The lodging house was a tall building with pillars and gilt edgings. A strong gate surrounded it.

Shainin nodded his approval. "Sioblach would say this sends a good message."

The gatekeeper opened the gates and we rode in, clumping in a circle in the courtyard. The ambassadors piled out of the coaches and looked around curiously.

"This way, please." The Tortallan ambassador bowed and gestured. "The servants will take your horses."

Shainin quickly dismounted and was there to help me before I could swing my leg over the horse's back. I let him, since it really did hurt to dismount.

We followed the ambassadors and the servants, as we were shown our rooms. We were given an entire wing of the enormous lodging house, including dozens of rooms and a large dining hall. The woodworking on the walls was detailed and elaborate, and everything was spotless, polished, and clean.

I plopped down on the bed in the room that Shainin and I were to share. "It's so soft."

"A rock slab would seem soft after those bunks we slept on." Shainin sat down next to me. "Do you want to get some sleep before supper?"

"I'd rather bathe." I looked at the steam pouring from the washtub. "Join me? You need it."

Shainin sniffed with mock indignation. "I reek no less than you."

"Not true." I shook my head, beginning to unfasten my clothes. "Not possible."

"Is possible." Shainin smiled. "And the washtub isn't big enough for the two of us."

I hung my clothes on a rack as I took them off, so they didn't get wrinkled. I stepped into the hot water and sighed.

"Wake me up when you finish." Shainin lay back on the bed. "Or if you need something."

"Mm-hmm." I dipped my head under the water.

* * *

"The food is different here." Raes Sioblach chewed slowly. "Different spices, I suppose."

Sorcha pushed the fried vegetables around her plate with her fork. "Looks like something you would cook, Adda."

"Shh." Raes Sioblach nudged her. "Remember not to say her name."

"Oops." Sorcha apologized. "Sorry."

"And that's not fair." I took a bite. "I've gotten rather good at cooking lately."

"Says who, Shainin?" Sorcha snickered, taking a bite and nodding. "They're good, though."

"And that's not even Tortallan." I pointed out. "Those vegetables are cooked in the Yamani style."

"When are we going to the Yamani Islands?" Sorcha jested.

"Before or after Carthak?" Malachi laughed.

"I wonder why they think they're funny." Raes Sioblach muttered.

"Look." Shainin nudged me. "Tortallans."

I looked up briefly. "More of the ambassadors."

"Her too?" Shainin asked.

I looked up again. "No, that's..."

"That's who?" Raes Sioblach looked up.

"It's Daine." I set my glass down and looked pleadingly at the ambassador.

Shainin felt my hand tighten and he put his arm around my shoulder. "Please, Raes? It's her friend."

Raes Sioblach sighed. "I suppose they would've killed us by now. Go on."

"Thank you." I stood from the bench and began to make my way through the crowded dining hall towards Daine. She had moved to stand next to Master Salmalín and they embraced.

I hesitated, digging the hilt of my dagger into my palm.

"Can I help you?" Master Salmalín asked, digging his chin into Daine's brown curls.

"Yah." The Common words felt strange on my tongue. I reached for my hood. "It's me. Adda."

Master Salmalín stared and Daine turned around, eyes wide and shocked.

"Adda?" Daine whispered. She stepped away from her husband and threw her arms around me. "We thought you were dead."

"Actually..." Master Salmalín cleared his throat guiltily. "I had my suspicions. When we heard news of a delegation coming from the mystical Other Land only years after our dream-sender disappeared, I wondered if the two were related.""

"You didn't tell me?" Daine turned her watery eyes up to Master Salmalín.

"I didn't want to get your hopes up. Even I didn't completely believe it." He awkwardly hugged me.

Daine touched my cheek, which was wet with tears. "You _are _glad to see us."

I shrugged, wiping the tears away. "I missed you."

Daine squeezed me tightly. "Let's go. Are you allowed to leave?"

I quickly sent Raes Sioblach and Shainin a short dream of me leaving. "Yah, I am."

Master Salmalín held the door for us.

The courtyard was slightly damp from a recent rain, but we sat on a bench under a tree.

"You look so much older." Daine looked me up and down. "Like you've fought a kraken."

"Fought a civil war." I shrugged. "We all did."

"Is that how you hurt your leg?" Daine ran her fingers lightly over my leg.

"Yah." I self-consciously pulled it under the bench. "My horse fell on me."

Master Salmalín winced.

"I don't really want to talk about that though." I admitted.

"We won't talk about anything." Daine soothed, laying her head on my shoulder.

We sat together in silence, watching the fireflies dance and the night birds flit in the trees.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

"I have to say," Shainin ran his fingers over the grass, twirling it in his fingers. "Your land is beautiful, but not as beautiful as my land."

I grunted softly in response. Laying on my back, I was half asleep in the warm morning light.

"Your friends seem nice." Shainin continued talking. "Are you going to let me meet your friends on the fief where you grew up?"

"Am I gonna let you?" I shrugged lazily. "Is it even up to me?"

"I wouldn't want you to feel like you had to."

"No." I opened my eyes and caught his gaze. "I want them to meet you."

Shainin grinned.

"You'll have to be careful though." I warned him, hiding my teasing smile. "Some of my crew are fair protective of me. They might rough you up a little."

"It's alright." Shainin assured me.

"Well, maybe." I wrapped my fingers loosely around his wrist. "I wouldn't want you to lose an arm. They've been known to mistake limbs for logs."

"Oh." He sounded a bit worried.

"But that's only happened a couple times." I pretended to reassure him. My eyes were still closed, but I imagined his dropped jaw. "Maybe only two or three. Most likely, they'll just scrape you up a bit. You're not afraid of fire, are you?"

I felt his warm breath just puffs away from face. "I know you're kidding."

"Do you?" I opened my eyes and smiled into him.

"Yes, I do." Shainin lowered his lips onto mine and I kissed him back hard.

"Adda, it's time to go..." Daine walked into the clearing, then froze with her eyebrows raised. "Oops."

Shainin reluctantly rolled off of me and I sat up, red-faced. "We'll be right there."

"Alright." Daine turned and walked away, shaking her head.

"What'd she say?" Shainin asked.

"They're starting out." I stood, wiping the pine needles off my breeches. "We have to go."

Shainin raised himself up. "That's too bad."

"Naw, riding all day? Definitely better than-"

Shainin pressed his finger against my lips, nodding towards the edge of the clearing.

"Just keep talking." Sorcha stood, holding the reins to our horses. "Because who wouldn't want to hear the things you two say to each other?"

"Insubordinate youngster." Shainin frowned at the girl. "Do you forget I'm your general?"

"Yes, sir. I mean, no sir, of course not." Sorcha handed us the reins. "You're both welcome for the horses. Adda, you should fix your tunic."

With a sour face, I pulled my tunic back down over my breeches. "I rue the day I ever pulled you from the flatlands."

"But you don't." Sorcha cheerfully mounted her own horse and saluted Shainin.

"Up you go." Shainin hooked his hands under my boot and gave me a lift up into the saddle. "And here's this."

I took my cane from him and strapped it to my saddle.

We met up with the group on the road, moving our horses into the line of soldiers and coaches.

"Shainin, a word?" Raes Sioblach poked his head out of a coach window.

Shainin rode forward, and I held my horse back to wait for Daine.

"So you and..." Daine curiously looked at my man. "What's his name?"

"Shainin." I answered, feeling my face turned a little pink again.

"And how long?"

I thought about it. "Years, I guess. A long time."

"And how do you keep from conceiving?" Daine asked, with no regard for my embarrassment. "Or are you trying for a child?"

I shook my head emphatically. "No, we are not. And we've got herbs for that."

"I can get you a charm, if you want." She offered.

"Please." I nodded. "The herbs are nasty."

"I'm not judging, you know." Daine assured me. "Me and Numair, it took us years and I was pregnant with Sarralyn before we got married."

"We're not going to get married."

"Why not?"

I searched for answer. "There's just no need. We're happy as we are."

"Then there's no need." Daine agreed with me.

"His mother would be happy." I muttered quietly.

Daine laughed. "You two don't get along?"

"She told Shainin she thinks I'll wander off if I'm not bound to him." I rolled my eyes. "And that I won't bear more than one child."

"I suppose she has to think about her grandchildren." Daine giggled.

I stared at her. "It's not really very funny."

"Maybe a bit." Daine tried to stop laughing.

Shainin finished speaking to Raes Sioblach and waited for us. He had a regretful expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Raes Sioblach reminded me that we're trying to make an impression." Shainin told me, twisting the reins in his hands. "Can she understand us?"

"Not a bit." I didn't look at Daine.

"We shouldn't sleep together while we're here." Shainin told me. "Because we're representing our country while we're in Tortall."

"What," I scoffed. "Couples back home don't do exactly what we've been doing?"

"We've reputations to protect." Shainin kept on. "You've got a reputation to protect. Raes Sioblach wants it, Adda."

"Why didn't he talk to me directly?" I questioned.

"Probably because we're all a little bit afraid of you."

"No, _you're_ not."

"Anybody who doesn't know you well is a little bit afraid of you." Shainin insisted. "Probably more than a little bit. And you've distracted me."

I smiled charmingly. "I know that some people are a bit scared of me. But I don't see why we should pretend to be something we aren't."

"Because it's what Raes Sioblach wants, and Baede Eilis made you promise..."

"I know." I sighed. "Alright, we won't sleep together, not while anyone can see. We'll save our precious reputations."

Shainin shook his head at me.

"I don't think we've been properly introduced." Daine remarked.

"Oh, right." I fell back a little so that Daine and Shainin could see each other. "Daine, this is General Shainin, my...well, you know what he is." I switched back to Rannson. "Shainin, this is my friend Daine. She's Tortall's most powerful wildmage."

Shainin greeted Daine in Tortallen and Daine greeted Shainin in Rannson, each trying to accommodate the other.

"What's that?" Shainin looked up sharply.

A disturbance on the edge of the forest had caught his attention. Tortallan soldiers shouted briefly before leading out a line of ragged, scraggly men.

"Bandits." Daine explained, as I translated for Shainin. "They've become a real problem."

"Will it cause any trouble for us?" Shainin asked.

"Probably not." Daine shook her head. "They're easy enough to take care of if you catch them unaware."

"Alright." Shainin nodded.

"Kel's been busy, though." Daine told me. "And Evin Larse and his Rider's."

"It's because of the drought last year." The Lioness joined us. "The crops didn't make it and the people are hungry. Hullo, Adda. Numair told me you'd sprung back from the dead."

"Yah." I tried not to beam too widely at her.

She offered me her hand and I shook it. "In any case, I'm glad you're back."

"Me too."

I turned to Shainin. "This is Alanna the Lioness. She's the best knight we've got in Tortall."

"It's a pleasure." Shainin nodded politely to the Lioness.

"He says it's a pleasure." I told the Lioness.

"Shainin's her lover." Daine informed Alanna, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"Daine!" I protested.

"Well, then it's a pleasure to meet him too." Alanna looked him over scrutinizingly.

"I feel like a mouse does before the hawk eats it." Shainin remarked to the empty air beside him.

I laughed and did not translate. "She won't hurt you much."

"It's odd hearing you speak another language." Alanna watched me. "Especially one I've never heard before. It makes me feel uneducated."

"It was easy enough to pick up." I shrugged. "And I can't read or write it, only speak it."

"The ambassadors will be after you to teach it." Alanna warned me.

"Only if Raes Sioblach permits it." I scowled at the man's coach. "He's a bit of a stickler."

"A true dignitary." Daine half-joked.

And laughing with my friends and Shainin down the dusty Tortallan road, I felt happier than I'd been in a very long time.

* * *

"It's the telling." I explained to Daine, Numair, and Alanna as we headed through camp towards the main fire pit. "It's our history, sort of."

"How will they tell it?" Numair asked. "Will you translate?"

"I'll have to." I shrugged. "No one else can do it as well as me."

"Cocky." Alanna shot me a grin.

"Honest." I laughed back. "Anyway, it's a special event. Only a Raes can do it and only some are good enough at it. They have to tell it the same every time. They have to agree on what to add or change. It's a long story. The whole thing might take hours to tell. They'll probably only do a piece of it tonight."

We sat around the fire, waiting as soldiers tended the fire. They added logs and built it up until it was a toasty blaze.

"Hey." Shainin sat by my side, smiling down at me. "I didn't see you at dinner."

"I ate with them." I moved closer to him.

Raes Sioblach cleared his throat, raising his eyebrows at us.

"Surely we can sit!" I protested, beginning to feel more than a little annoyed.

Raes Sioblach didn't have time to answer back, because the oldest ambassador among us, Raes Caratucus, began to speak.

"Throughout time, our land has been given many names. Beriagh, Rannsa, and even the name that the Tortallans gave us; the Other Land. No name has been fought for harder than that of Lorcan."

We all nodded our agreement.

"Hundreds of years ago, the scholars and mages grew more powerful and knowledgeable than ever before. Everything in the world seemed to be at their fingertips and they thought themselves the wisest beings in the universe."

Shainin nudged me casually.

Raes Caratucus noticed and soberly nodded. "Let that be a lesson to you, mage."

I nodded in response, even though I knew I didn't think myself the wisest being in the universe.

"They grew so powerful that they rejected the gods. They refused to acknowledge their presence and influence in their lives. They stopped worshiping and began to ridicule those who stayed faithful. As you can imagine, the gods weren't pleased by their foolishness. They turned their backs on the entire land, rejecting the people as the people had rejected them."

He paused so that I could catch up on the translation. I nodded to him when I had finished.

"Many were devastated. Many were furious. But some grew violent. The mages and scholars who had brought this horror upon them were massacred. But the angry mob did not stop there. They killed all the scholars in positions of power and all the mages in positions of power. But the punishing did not stop there. The mob killed all the students studying to be scholars and all the students training to be mages. The blood ran in the streets and pooled in the gutters."

The firelight lit up his face eerily, painting shadows that made him look even older than he was.

"But the madness did not stop there. The Etterites, for that is what they were called, sought to purge the corruption from the land. They burned all books they could, killed any with the gift that they could find. Children of mages were murdered as well, even before any signs of magic had presented themselves."

He waited a few moments, let us ponder what had been said.

"Some hid, denying their heritage and tried their best to live normal lives and protect their children. Others fled to the mountains, attempting to survive in small clans. Others rose up. They defended themselves against the Etterites and even overpowered them, a seemingly impossible feat. They gathered around a shining lake sheltered by glorious mountains and preserved their families. And so a war began."

"Years passed and the war continued. Soon the fighting ceased to be just about the Purge, and became more about the brothers and aunts and mothers and fathers and daughters and cousins and sisters and grandfathers lost in the bloody war."

Our faces tightened.

"And still the war continued. The Etterites forgot that they had had once fought for the gods and...and..."

Raes Caratucus frowned deeply, struggling with something inside of him. He hesitated again, then began to speak, even more powerfully than before.

"And so the Etterites became like ourselves. Fighting to avenge their families, fighting to preserve their lives. We became the same people, divided by the war, two halves split apart."

He had changed the story. We looked around confusedly, but some of the wiser men began to nod. Raes Caratucus looked at me, reminding me that I needed to translate. I hurriedly finished.

"And we didn't know it, but the two halves needed to mend. Still we fought, when we should have reconciled our differences. But fighting was all we knew. Things would have continued in such a manner, if Blessed Nadia had not sent us a gift. I imagine that Blessed Nadia did not care which side our mage joined, as long as she helped reunify the land."

What Raes Caratucus was saying did make sense, but it was hard to think about.

"So the final chapter of our war began. The fighting became even bloodier, even more vicious. Both Etterites and Lorcanites began to fight with a desperation never known before, began to disregard the value of the human life in order to keep ourselves alive. We became fiercer and stronger. We would have fought forever, if not for the mage. The mage was able to be brutal, able to defeat her opponents with a flick of her terrible hand. And as she was able, so she did."

I winced, halting my translation. "I don't want to say that."

"Do it, mage." Raes Caratucus fixed me with his intense stare. "I speak the truth. You know it, so say it."

Shainin took my hand, squeezing it to comfort me. I finished, not looking at the Tortallans.

"The Last Battle of the Bloody River." Raes Caratucus whispered. "The Etterites had gathered the last of their troops and brought them to defend the river border. Some of the soldiers were too young to lift their swords above their heads. We fought against children and old men that day."

One soldier made a quiet gasping sound, and buried his face in his hands. My voice shook uncontrollably.

"We greatly outnumbered the Etterites, but we were weak. Years of fighting had tired us and we were losing our will to fight. Our general, General Eirnin, had pressed us to within an inch and was still asking more from us. We gathered at the river that day, bitter and angry, weak and exhausted. But we were hopeful. We had hope that we were fighting our very last battle. We had hope that this would be the last time we would raise our weapons against our brethren. And so we fought."

"General Eirnin was felled by a well-aimed arrow not five minutes into the battle. Major Shainin, for he was just a major then, and Major Brodie took command of the troops. Our mage..." Raes Caratucus turned to me. "Perhaps you could show it better. Show only the truth, mage."

I nodded, sending my dream memory into the heads of all those who sat around the fire.

_"I don't know what to do!" Major Shainin shouted bleak, face streaked with grime and blood. "Yes, you do!" Major Brodie grabbed his shoulders, shaking him. "And I do. C'mon, Shainin, don't do this!"_

_The battle raged on beside them. Swords clashed, arrows fell short of their targets and landed in the grass, blood splattered across those already dead on the ground._

_"We'll surround them, using a pincer movement." Major Shainin spoke quietly, close to Major Brodie's ear. "We'll try to save what lives we can."_

_Major Brodie nodded her agreement. "Adda, can you tell the captains? Adda!"_

_The woman looked up from where she had been kneeling in the grass. "What?"_

_"Adda, show the captains that we'll be doing a pincer movement!" Major Shainin yelled to be heard over the deafening noise. "Captain Cailen needs to head towards the left, moving as quickly as she can. Captain Declan needs to do the same, only on the right. Are you doing this?"_

_The woman that was me nodded, closing her eyes to concentrate harder._

_Major Shainin ordered. "Tell them to charge!"_

_The woman clenched her eyes and mouthed the word._

_All across the battlefield, desperate shouts and yells raised above the noise. Lorcanite soldiers began to run forward, clumsy and slow in their exhaustion. They cut down all who stood in their path, trying to surround the enemy._

_"Can you ask the Etterite troops to put down their weapons?" Major Shainin asked. "To surrender?"_

_"Too far away." The mage answered. "Brodie, watch it!"_

_Brodie raised her broadsword, fended off an enemy soldier._

_Far to the left of the small group, an Etterite child clutched his leg and screamed as blood poured from it. A Lorcanite woman scratched the ground with her fingernails, trying to pull herself up from the ground. A soldier, unidentifiable, lay still on the ground, burned so that his flesh had melted and pooled in his hands. Two teenage boys raised their spears against one another, identical snarls on their faces. One fell and the other walked away. _

_"Brodie!" I had cried, pressing my hands against my friend's gaping side wound, trying to dam a river with a single stick. "Brodie!"_

_"She's dead!" Major Shainin pulled me up, kept me moving. _

_A soldier pulled his dying comrade to his chest and wept. A soldier made one desperate attempt __to defeat his enemy, then fell to the ground when an arrow pierced his eye. Two soldiers lost their weapons and went at each with only their fists, growling like wild animals. _

_And then there was nothing. The standing Lorcanites panted heavily, looking around for their next opponent. The remaining Etterites, only four hundred of them, stood in a clump and dropped their weapons._

_"Do you surrender?" Major Shainin's voice rang out above the silence._

_The Etterites looked around at themselves, waiting for someone to be the spokesperson for the group. A man stepped forward. "Aye, we do."_

_Major Shainin nodded, relief written on every line of his tired face. "Thank the gods."_

I stopped it there, not surprised to find tears on my face and on the faces of all those around the fire.

"And so we remember." Raes Caratucus whispered. "We remember the lives that have been lost to win what we have been gain. We fight a different battle now, a war to repair the country, to mend the shattered pieces. The fields of our future will thrive on the blood of those who have suffered. And so we remember."

Sorcha leaned against the grizzled soldier next to her, shaking wildly and covering her face. Raes Sioblach stared wearily into the fire, hands trembling. Malachi, pale and tear-stained, wiped his nose with the back of his hand. One soldier gripped a younger soldier's shoulder consolingly.

Raes Caratucus stood and walked away from the fire.

"I'm just glad you chanced to join our side." Shainin whispered to me, holding my head against his shoulder. "If we had been set against each other in battle..."

"I don't want to think about that." I told him firmly, pressing my face hard into his shirt.

Slowly, the soldiers, ambassadors, and Tortallans began to trickle away from the fire, still talking quietly.

Master Salmalín paused by my side as he headed off, looking like he wanted to say something. He said nothing and moved on. Daine squeezed my shoulder before she followed her husband.

I stared into the fire.

"Sing a song, Adda?" Sorcha spoke from across the fire. Malachi had shifted to sit by her. "Please?"

"The Ballad of the Lost." Malachi suggested gravely.

I nodded, beginning to sing the quiet, plaintive song. It had been written long ago, but still seemed to fit our memories perfectly.

I stood after finishing the song, nodding when they thanked me for it, and turned to Shainin pleadingly.

"Adda..." Shainin's voice trailed off as he stood to join me.

"I don't care what Raes Sioblach says." I begged him. "I don't want to fall asleep alone tonight."

Shainin wrapped his arm around my waist and we walked away from the fire.


End file.
